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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Trust is everything in that type of scenario.
Some people like to play with the danger aspect, such as with the ‘stranger’ dynamic but to my mind it takes a strong connection to do that straight at the start |
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You can do that meet one if it is what you are both looking for, but inclusion of restraints comes with trust and not something I’d agree to in early meets. Sitting on your hands works just as well |
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"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
"
No. And what is more........ I have double standards cos Pervy Pete wouldn't let me tie his ankles to the makeshift stuff i'd made in the loft with broom poles...
( true story )
There's no way I'd let a bloke restrain me if I didn't know him well. |
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"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
"
2,3 or 4 years maybe |
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It completely depends on the dynamics. I have once, but that was a meet for a particular kind of scene, had been discussed thoroughly beforehand, and discussed even further in person at the start of the meet.
Ordinarily when I was meeting, not a hope in hells chance...but then it wouldn't have happened at any point with a "normal" meet because it's not generally my thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have done once and it was incredible. But that was a total exception I doubt id repeat. "
Leave on a high rather than risk the second time not living up to expectations? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You can do that meet one if it is what you are both looking for, but inclusion of restraints comes with trust and not something I’d agree to in early meets. Sitting on your hands works just as well "
All about the trust |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
Do you feel it’s something for a regular who you build up to?
No. And what is more........ I have double standards cos Pervy Pete wouldn't let me tie his ankles to the makeshift stuff i'd made in the loft with broom poles...
( true story )
There's no way I'd let a bloke restrain me if I didn't know him well. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Probably not. I do get/understand why it could be appealing for some but I wouldn't find it arousing so early on, I'd feel uncomfortable and unable to relax."
And relaxing & comfortable is how it should be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
"
No |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It completely depends on the dynamics. I have once, but that was a meet for a particular kind of scene, had been discussed thoroughly beforehand, and discussed even further in person at the start of the meet.
Ordinarily when I was meeting, not a hope in hells chance...but then it wouldn't have happened at any point with a "normal" meet because it's not generally my thing. "
Again it’s down to the understanding and trust |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, not a chance.
Build up to it with someone ?
Absolutely. I would need to feel and have complete trust in someone to allow it to happen."
Makes total sense…. I assume you wouldn’t ever feel that comfortable so early on? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
Are there levels on a first meet that you set? Cut off points?
No "
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"I have done once and it was incredible. But that was a total exception I doubt id repeat.
Leave on a high rather than risk the second time not living up to expectations? "
It was someone I ended up spending over a year with.. but he was an exception in terms of knowledge and trust  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have done once and it was incredible. But that was a total exception I doubt id repeat.
Leave on a high rather than risk the second time not living up to expectations?
It was someone I ended up spending over a year with.. but he was an exception in terms of knowledge and trust "
Makes total sense |
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"No, not a chance.
Build up to it with someone ?
Absolutely. I would need to feel and have complete trust in someone to allow it to happen.
Makes total sense…. I assume you wouldn’t ever feel that comfortable so early on? "
It takes a while to earn my trust x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
"
I have this after a social meet and on first meet too. But texting daily for weeks and phone calls. A LOT of talking. |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"Nope I tried it once and it only led to a toxic dynamic that took years to heal from.
Was that due to abuse of trust? "
Yes. You can’t have that level of trust in a person without building a proper relationship dynamic. I was naive, keen to experiment and not knowledgable in the red flags of abusive relationships at the time as I think many people a. I learned it all the hard way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?
This is exactly what I meant
I have this after a social meet and on first meet too. But texting daily for weeks and phone calls. A LOT of talking. "
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It did happen once! And for a change I was the one who was nervous because, I didn't really know what I was letting myself in for. We are still in contact, and the lady pops up on here between relationships, and I verify her. She told me afterwards though that it only happened because, my name had cropped up as being a very safe guy to play with, at an all girls social. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've done it before, but a huge amount of trust was built before hand and it was something that was agreed on that would happen. So there was no unexpected surprise."
Makes sense to talk it through |
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