FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you a chaser or do you like being chased?
Are you a chaser or do you like being chased?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is a fascinating dynamic and I would love to hear your replies on this.
I know that some people find the thrill of the chase greater than the thrill of catching someone.
So my question is what is more thrilling to you in a ideal world, doing the chasing or being chased?
And let’s keep it hypothetical and play nicely  |
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?"
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x "
Oh, right, I thought we were talking about who approaches who. Not playing hard to get or malarkey. |
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"This is a fascinating dynamic and I would love to hear your replies on this.
I know that some people find the thrill of the chase greater than the thrill of catching someone.
So my question is what is more thrilling to you in a ideal world, doing the chasing or being chased?
And let’s keep it hypothetical and play nicely "
I dont like either to be fair... i detest being chased... and wont chase. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A bit of both is nice.
Do you instigate the chase?"
I message and am messaged. Irl I flirt with strangers and sometimes they flirt with me. We'd need to define chase I guess. If it appears someone isn't interested why proceed further. |
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x
Oh, right, I thought we were talking about who approaches who. Not playing hard to get or malarkey."
Perhaps I misinterpreted then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x
Oh, right, I thought we were talking about who approaches who. Not playing hard to get or malarkey.
Perhaps I misinterpreted then "
Or I did. OP? |
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x "
This ^^
It’s frustrating when you want someone, they say they want you but don’t follow through. It makes it difficult to believe them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x
Oh, right, I thought we were talking about who approaches who. Not playing hard to get or malarkey.
Perhaps I misinterpreted then "
It’s not about playing games as I don’t do that myself more about sending messages first thing in the morning that kinda thing. Who first says ‘I want you’ etc |
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I’m not for either, much prefer things to naturally take their course than play games with anyone.
It is one thing to flirt, make an approach and tease someone before an arranged meet, but those that play games, just wanting their ego stroked (in my view), are kicked to the side quite quickly. |
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x
Oh, right, I thought we were talking about who approaches who. Not playing hard to get or malarkey.
Perhaps I misinterpreted then
It’s not about playing games as I don’t do that myself more about sending messages first thing in the morning that kinda thing. Who first says ‘I want you’ etc "
That’s different but I’d always start with ‘Morning’  then maybe a way to wake them up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's when you're both just as interested in each other and it's not more one sided that its best!
Put another way you chase each other equally I guess. That's more likely to be sexy as hell. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
My instinct is to say I don't chase. But thinking about it I usually do.
It takes a lot for me to be the one to make the initial contact and I've not done it in the real world since I was a teen. Too scared of rejection.
But once I'm aware there is an attraction, I am often the one that ends up doing the chasing. It can be disheartening sometimes though, it is too easy to convince yourself the other person has lost interest because they wait for you to make contact. Can feel like flogging a dead horse, yet sometimes that horse is just having a nap.
I'm not even sure that made sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the initial chase... But if its handed to me, then I'm "pftt" and lose interest...if they are too keen it's 100% turn off /claustrophobic ... Whereas if i have to work for it, I'm in lol! 
A bit like fishing maybe!
I think I'm fairly cool when it comes to chasing... but i really like to flirt /banter (with no expectations).. Apparently this makes me intriguing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t chase. I also don’t like to be chased. I prefer a healthy method of communication. If we are both interested in each other then we can speak at our leisure.
Chasing kinda seems like the person isn’t interested and the other person is bordering on harassing them..!! I have to block a lot of people on here, who message me over and over. Like where is the decorum, if someone doesn’t respond, what makes you think that you should message them again?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Neither.
Although i do find that I like lose interest quite quickly once the object of my desires returns the interest. So maybe I do just enjoy the “chase”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Genuinely neither. If I like someone and vice versa I'd rather we just cracked on with things without any silly games.
If I like you I'll tell you... equally I don't need someone to run around after me to validate their interest. Life is way too short. |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
I don’t chase but if there’s is a connection I’m interested in taking further I’ll put the energy into conversations.
And I’ll even wait a little time for conversation to continue but if a “friend” is busy putting up meets to meet others and then decides to contact me because I’m online and no one else has shown interest then no thank you. I’m not anyone’s fall back choice or just in case person. If you want to meet me arrange it with me directly or just don’t bother. |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"It's when you're both just as interested in each other and it's not more one sided that its best!
Put another way you chase each other equally I guess. That's more likely to be sexy as hell. "
Yes this is the ideal dynamic  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do like to having to work a little bit, it means I’m consciously deciding I really want someone but detest games and don’t enjoy being chased myself."
This is what I call chasing. And keeping the thrill there not games at all and if someone is too hard to get I give up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase but if there’s is a connection I’m interested in taking further I’ll put the energy into conversations.
And I’ll even wait a little time for conversation to continue but if a “friend” is busy putting up meets to meet others and then decides to contact me because I’m online and no one else has shown interest then no thank you. I’m not anyone’s fall back choice or just in case person. If you want to meet me arrange it with me directly or just don’t bother. "
Agree 100% with this. I've wasted weeks speaking to women (in some cases people on my friends list) only to see their status updates specifically call out other guys on here.
Whilst I appreciate it's a Swingers site I ain't anyone's 2nd best so see you later.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x "
Exactly this |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
Nope I’m too blunt for chasing and being chased makes me feel claustrophobic and smothered.
If I like you, you will know about it as I’m about as subtle as a sledgehammer - I like back and forth banter a little of letting the other think there keeping you on your toes but that’s as far as my cat and mouse game goes xx |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Nope I’m too blunt for chasing and being chased makes me feel claustrophobic and smothered.
If I like you, you will know about it as I’m about as subtle as a sledgehammer - I like back and forth banter a little of letting the other think there keeping you on your toes but that’s as far as my cat and mouse game goes xx"
Squeak. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase but if there’s is a connection I’m interested in taking further I’ll put the energy into conversations.
And I’ll even wait a little time for conversation to continue but if a “friend” is busy putting up meets to meet others and then decides to contact me because I’m online and no one else has shown interest then no thank you. I’m not anyone’s fall back choice or just in case person. If you want to meet me arrange it with me directly or just don’t bother.
Agree 100% with this. I've wasted weeks speaking to women (in some cases people on my friends list) only to see their status updates specifically call out other guys on here.
Whilst I appreciate it's a Swingers site I ain't anyone's 2nd best so see you later.
"
No i don't get that?? ... If it's a swingers site aren't we all someone's second best?? we are all trying to make connections with other people... Not looking for monogamy ?!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase but if there’s is a connection I’m interested in taking further I’ll put the energy into conversations.
And I’ll even wait a little time for conversation to continue but if a “friend” is busy putting up meets to meet others and then decides to contact me because I’m online and no one else has shown interest then no thank you. I’m not anyone’s fall back choice or just in case person. If you want to meet me arrange it with me directly or just don’t bother.
Agree 100% with this. I've wasted weeks speaking to women (in some cases people on my friends list) only to see their status updates specifically call out other guys on here.
Whilst I appreciate it's a Swingers site I ain't anyone's 2nd best so see you later.
No i don't get that?? ... If it's a swingers site aren't we all someone's second best?? we are all trying to make connections with other people... Not looking for monogamy ?!? "
I'm not talking about monogamy. I'm talking about people specifically calling out guys on their status to "come get me" (especially after crying off 2 arranged meets with me barely a few days earlier). I'm not fully expecting to be someone's sole focus of attention on Fab but a little bit of respect would be appreciated.
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Surely if there is mutual attraction then neither need to chase at all?
I'm a modern woman and not afraid to go after what I want so If someone caught my eye then I'd mail them but certainly wouldn't call it chasing them lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nither no time for those games
Would rather people just be upfront in what they want
Like if they just want a vanilla bang at me say so we get around to it at some point 
If they want something more kink wise then say so and we start going though the prossece off building trust and take things from there
If they what a fwb or fb say so and we see how things go
If they want a open or closed relationship then we see how things go
No time for games or not being upfront
Like ooo I want this that the next thing ok then
Have a meet play they get home and message was good but not for me
If they just wanted a bang at me say so it happen
But let me diced if that’s what I am wanting |
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I’ve never chased. I’ve got the attention span of a gnat unless I’m being stimulated so I don’t think chasing was ever for me.
I used to find being chased suffocating so I’d be off in the opposite direction.
The whole concept isn’t something I’ve ever got my head around
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"It's when you're both just as interested in each other and it's not more one sided that its best!
Put another way you chase each other equally I guess. That's more likely to be sexy as hell. "
Exactly this.
This is the dynamic that I look for, it should be fun. If I find that I’m chasing then it makes me think that they’re not into me and I’ll stop |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It's when you're both just as interested in each other and it's not more one sided that its best!
Put another way you chase each other equally I guess. That's more likely to be sexy as hell.
Exactly this.
This is the dynamic that I look for, it should be fun. If I find that I’m chasing then it makes me think that they’re not into me and I’ll stop"
This! This is what I was trying to say! Dammit. |
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I don’t chase or like being chased.
If someone piques my interest I’ll send a first message and see where it goes. It can lead to either sexy banter that may lead to more, which it has or friendly conversation.
But chasing someone never.
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I don’t chase.
I don’t particularly like being chased either as that tends to feel a bit harrassy after awhile.
Cool confident declaration of interest with a bit of light wooing and chemistry is the way to go. |
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According to the female friends I talk to about this stuff, I’m extremely cut throat and refuse to chase.
I chased a lot when I was younger, and it got me laid a lot, which was cool I guess.
But I just can’t be fucked these days. I’m not playing games. Wanna go silent to see if I’ll chase? Bye. Wanna give short answers to see if I’ll carry the convo? Next. Wanna play any kinda game instead of just being open and honest in your intentions? Blocked. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I do like to having to work a little bit, it means I’m consciously deciding I really want someone but detest games and don’t enjoy being chased myself.
This is what I call chasing. And keeping the thrill there not games at all and if someone is too hard to get I give up "
Yup
And you can just ask them straight if unsure…. Am I completely wasting my time ?, before giving up, it’s not hard. Very few women will play you along on that, they will either tell you it ain’t going to happen, or they will be unsure/undecided. Then it’s your move |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"According to the female friends I talk to about this stuff, I’m extremely cut throat and refuse to chase.
I chased a lot when I was younger, and it got me laid a lot, which was cool I guess.
But I just can’t be fucked these days. I’m not playing games. Wanna go silent to see if I’ll chase? Bye. Wanna give short answers to see if I’ll carry the convo? Next. Wanna play any kinda game instead of just being open and honest in your intentions? Blocked."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t say I like to chase, I’m not into all the games. But I do love getting to know someone, plenty of banter and flirting and when it feels right arrange date for a weekend to meet up. And I’ve been approached by women on here to, that feels good tbh, to have the women make the first move. But I still put the effort in and enjoy getting to know them as much as I would if it was me making the approach xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like a bit of both. I need to feel like I want them and that they're a little hard to get, or I'll get bored. But equally, if I'm doing the chasing then I'll think they don't want me, and there's nothing less arousing than feeling undesired. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make the move an assertive confident action and move.
Then observe the response and reply.
Pull & push..
Is really what happens between guys and gals.
Seldom some understand the Magnet affect.
80/20..
60/40.
All depends whom are involved and if they understand the silent yet powerful actions at play.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a fascinating dynamic and I would love to hear your replies on this.
I know that some people find the thrill of the chase greater than the thrill of catching someone.
So my question is what is more thrilling to you in a ideal world, doing the chasing or being chased?
And let’s keep it hypothetical and play nicely "
cooly implemented mate
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to chase, I always go after what I want "
Wow that is very sexy and confidence.
More and more ladies are thinking that way.
Freedom to them i say.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like being chased. I used to like doing the chasing but I’m more of a chubby house cat than sexy lioness these days "
I’m sure there’s a joke in there about cat flaps |
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As I don't send messages anyone I chat to has to make the first move. I don't expect or want anyone to chase me but at the same time I've had very obvious "chase me" messages where someone is extremely complimentary in an opening message and then withdraws in the hope I will chase. It's a short lived conversation. |
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"This is a fascinating dynamic and I would love to hear your replies on this.
I know that some people find the thrill of the chase greater than the thrill of catching someone.
So my question is what is more thrilling to you in a ideal world, doing the chasing or being chased?
And let’s keep it hypothetical and play nicely "
I don't need to chase..
I do like a very well worded approach though...
Approach me on here like you would at a bar & you've got much more chance in enticing me to converse with you...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like a bit of both. I need to feel like I want them and that they're a little hard to get, or I'll get bored. But equally, if I'm doing the chasing then I'll think they don't want me, and there's nothing less arousing than feeling undesired."
Completely are agree with this. Feeling undesired is the worst feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t chase.
But do you like someone chasing you?
Not really. It all sounds a bit game playey to me. People would have no need to chase me as I’m honest in whether I like them from the start. Too old for all that malarkey x
This ^^
It’s frustrating when you want someone, they say they want you but don’t follow through. It makes it difficult to believe them."
Who dares wins in the end. |
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I don't like chasing or be chased and if i add to this mix playing games then is completely unattractive for my taste as i can't cope with liars .
I like natural , simple, direct and honesty above all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a fascinating dynamic and I would love to hear your replies on this.
I know that some people find the thrill of the chase greater than the thrill of catching someone.
So my question is what is more thrilling to you in a ideal world, doing the chasing or being chased?
And let’s keep it hypothetical and play nicely
I don't need to chase..
I do like a very well worded approach though...
Approach me on here like you would at a bar & you've got much more chance in enticing me to converse with you...
"
Nice I like your mindset. Younglady |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
I don’t like chasing and have never done so as not very confident (in the way of approaching) for starters and have found women usually to be direct with what they want and would just say so if they haven’t they not interested and chasing won’t change mind just my take on it I’m probably wrong haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not for either, much prefer things to naturally take their course than play games with anyone.
It is one thing to flirt, make an approach and tease someone before an arranged meet, but those that play games, just wanting their ego stroked (in my view), are kicked to the side quite quickly. "
110% agree. Do not except silly childish games. |
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"I like a bit of both. I need to feel like I want them and that they're a little hard to get, or I'll get bored. But equally, if I'm doing the chasing then I'll think they don't want me, and there's nothing less arousing than feeling undesired."
Yep |
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"This is a fascinating dynamic and I would love to hear your replies on this.
I know that some people find the thrill of the chase greater than the thrill of catching someone.
So my question is what is more thrilling to you in a ideal world, doing the chasing or being chased?
And let’s keep it hypothetical and play nicely
I don't need to chase..
I do like a very well worded approach though...
Approach me on here like you would at a bar & you've got much more chance in enticing me to converse with you...
Nice I like your mindset. Younglady"
Why thank you.. It's definitely worked a
For a couple guys..  |
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Six of one, half a dozen of the other. If anyone is interested, I will acknowledge, and respect that, very often offering them dinner, or a social meet especially in the real world where someone might be giving me the eye in a supermarket, or at a petrol station. It's also great a great feeling to know that I haven't lost my mo jo. Vice versa, if I fancy someone, I'm not exactly backward at coming forward. Should it be a non starters, nothing ventured, nothing gained. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a fascinating dynamic and I would love to hear your replies on this.
I know that some people find the thrill of the chase greater than the thrill of catching someone.
So my question is what is more thrilling to you in a ideal world, doing the chasing or being chased?
And let’s keep it hypothetical and play nicely "
I don’t chase but can flirt and drop hints - I like to know that a man likes me enough to make the effort. |
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No use at this running around malarky 
Being chased - I don't mind a little teasing, but you have to get to the point soon. 
Some worked out some didn’t but I wouldn’t chase anyone, that’s a bit OTT and I would imagine quite off putting to some 
