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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
 Tuesday 19th September
To get ye land lubbers in the mood:
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.
Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.
You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.
Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates
By popular demand ...
10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Poptabulous mate! Here we are folks, approaching the news.....to see us up til then.....heres bachman turner overdrive....and....you aint seen nothing yet!!....
Join us after the news for more....rockin tracks.....
.
Pirate radio  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Poptabulous mate! Here we are folks, approaching the news.....to see us up til then.....heres bachman turner overdrive....and....you aint seen nothing yet!!....
Join us after the news for more....rockin tracks.....
.
Pirate radio "
It doesn't sound like that around here when it interrupts R4. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Avast there Landlubbers,
Arrrr 'tis 'ere
Talk Like a Pirate Day
Pirate scum load yer cannons, brandish yer cutlasses, and wenches prepare to have yer poop decks boarded !!
Arrrr.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing.
"What's that?" asks the captain.
"Well, there are no women" replies the man.
"Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way.
However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined!
The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!"
"Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!" |
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