FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Post meet blues….
Post meet blues….
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you get them? How do you deal with them?
I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?
I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "
Book another straight after problem solve something to look forward to  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get them, especially if its after my regular. I take comfort in telling myself that it's not the last time and just have to wait."
I think that’s the problem, someone regular so your more fond of them as a person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?
I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up?
Book another straight after problem solve something to look forward to "
I tried to plan a social and then just felt bad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I do get them I think it’s natural especially when you’ve had such an amazing time BUT … what gets me out of that is looking forward to the next time and future meets  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get them, especially if its after my regular. I take comfort in telling myself that it's not the last time and just have to wait.
I think that’s the problem, someone regular so your more fond of them as a person. "
So yours is from a regular too ?
It is difficult, I got to the point of calling it off with her but then told myself I would be worse without seeing her. I do feel for you on this x |
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I used to, but if I started meeting again I'd tell myself that's not who they are, not really. That was them giving me their version of their best self that they thought I wanted.
That just like going to a gig I get bummed out when it's over after and this is no different.
Take it factually, not feeling-ly but at the same time allow myself the space to sit with those feelings and probably hate myself afterwards for allowing someone to make me feel good instead of feeling good for simply being me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get them...i was high when i left him, but been low for a couple of weeks 
Weeks? My lovely that’s longer than usual surely? "
I've been ill as well.. So just generally moping around and feeling sorry for myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?
I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "
Drink  |
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Not something I can say I’ve experienced. Every day life takes over and you just look forward to the next time, but I’m quite good at filing feelings / thoughts things away and locking the door on them so they don’t consume me. |
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By *ibonacciMan
over a year ago
hidden location |
"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?
I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "
Message the person again and exchange some hot text about how good it was and then if it gets particularly steamy, then we may end up exchanging pics or vids and have a play thinking about it. Then arrange the next meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I imagine I’m Bridget Jones, put a dressing gown on, curl up on the sofa and eat ice cream from a tub
I do that anyway . In fact I’m doing that now !"
Budge up, ffs! |
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I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it. |
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Yeah I sometimes get it. Then I think well we can meet again for more fun, or plan a meet with someone else I’ve chatted to, but more often than not I get ignored, used or dropped, so it makes me not want to meet at all tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I sometimes get it. Then I think well we can meet again for more fun, or plan a meet with someone else I’ve chatted to, but more often than not I get ignored, used or dropped, so it makes me not want to meet at all tbh "
What’s post meet?? Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it."
Sub drop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?
I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "
I never get them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it."
I think perhaps it's more common with D /s relationships - they can be quite intense |
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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
It's a natural feeling. Peaks and troughs.
When you've had a good time with someone obviously you crave the endorphins again. Why wouldn't you. It's fun, exciting and all the rest....
But you have to get on with the normal grind now and put a pin in it.
Till next time |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
When I had my own place and used to see my then FWB I would always feel a bit bleurgh when he went home.
It wasn’t him I missed so much, more his presence, his energy. The house felt so still and quiet after he’d gone. That would leave me feeling a bit lonely. After a good sleep the feeling would pass.
I don’t get that these days when I meet (hotel meets), so I’m not sure what the answer is, but you’re not alone. |
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"I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it.
Sub drop"
That I get but most aren’t a sub |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it.
Sub drop
That I get but most aren’t a sub"
Same kind of thing though. Like having a brilliant holiday then everything feeling really shit when you get home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it.
Sub drop
That I get but most aren’t a sub"
You go from the thrill, the excitement, the butterflies of planning and anticipating, to done, and back in the room.
It’s an anti climax I guess. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"
Sub drop
That I get but most aren’t a sub"
Sub drop, Dom drop or just plain old drop can happen to anyone who experiences intense meets. It can manifest itself in several ways, and you can be someone who consistently gets it, gets it occasionally or never experiences it!
In my experience drop can appear like a persons has a hangover or is suffering from a lack of sleep. It can affect their mental health and emotional well being. They can appear off, snappy or angry for no explainable reason, and may feel alone or abandoned (especially if you don’t live with or talk to them).
During the build up to and during your meet the body's pleasure response (and pain if you are engaging in some BDSM activities) triggers a sympathetic nerve response causing a release of endorphins, enkephalins and epinephrine. These chemicals have a morphine like effect on the body, leading to a happy place that some call sub space.
These chemicals are normally released in a controlled way by your body, but if you have a sudden flood of them then as you can only replace them in a fixed rate you suffer a bit of a crash. Its the same type of response that leads addicts to finding other stimulus to keep up the happy place feeling
This lack of chemicals within the body is what leads to the drop, and its only when your body gets back to equilibrium that the feelings tend to go away.
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"I get them...i was high when i left him, but been low for a couple of weeks "
My fwb is like that now. Thing is that he doesn’t realise that lack of contact (because of being sad etc) is damaging... 
We’ve been established fwbs for a couple of years, but long distance and spent a weekend together for the first time, so it’s not like it’s no contact because it was a NSA one night stand.
I’ve somehow ‘trained’ myself to not have the post meet blues ... there’s a lot heartache if you don’t. |
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