FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You must be really confused....
You must be really confused....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some are confused. Some are here because their partner wants to be.
Some are searching for answers but they don't know quite what the question is. Some chance upon an answer that they didn't know they were seeking. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"A man who lives less than a 5 minute drive who is always available to penetrate the hell out of me whenever I need it.
That’s the dream Huey, that’s the dream!
Damn I’m about 20 mins away   "
Less than that I reckon if you use my real location and not my fab location  |
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"A man who lives less than a 5 minute drive who is always available to penetrate the hell out of me whenever I need it.
That’s the dream Huey, that’s the dream!
Damn I’m about 20 mins away
Less than that I reckon if you use my real location and not my fab location "
Well you’ll have to let me know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For woman
friendship none sexually
Friendship sexually
One off but would rather not only if they want
Dateing open and closed
For couples
Friendship sexually
Friendship none sexually
And one offs if that’s what they want
For guys
Friendship none sexually
Friendship sexually
And sorry guys for useing this term
A nother notche on the bed post
For other tv/ts
Mostly just friendship
But some could persawde me in to more
Ie sexually friendship
Sorry for the dubble post as swipe back hit the delete button |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't necessarily say that a person is confused about life as a whole, if they're not sure why they're on a swingers site (not exclusively this one). I wouldn't say confusion is the right word imho. Someone may not have got the finer points about their need for human contact ironed out in their head (if indeed that's what they want), but whether they are confusing what they seek and what they think they want, is another matter entirely. |
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I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists."
So true Peach  |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists."
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. "
Yep, and validation. On the surface you'd never know, they don't even know themselves. Sad but true. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. "
Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?"
For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists."
Are 'medical professionals' likely to be found on a swinging site?
Is the space some have in their lives likely to be filled here?
What you call a wound I would ultimately call space.
Although to some that is presently as raw as a wound!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are you searching for on here?
Nice looking Pens
You're a bic of all right  "
Always rely on you Blooms to stick your Pritt Sticks worth in..... ha |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?"
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes in life you learn what it is you do want by first finding out what you don't want.
Not everyone has all the answers."
But its good to ask the question? |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists. Are 'medical professionals' likely to be found on a swinging site?
Is the space some have in their lives likely to be filled here?
What you call a wound I would ultimately call space.
Although to some that is presently as raw as a wound!
"
People from all walks of life can be found on a swinging site.
People from all walks of life experience pain.
People from all walks of life suppress pain.
People from all walks of life can overlap the 2 and misdirect the path of healing the pain without realising they're doing so.
People use all kinds of crutches in life. Some gamble, some shop, some use sex, some use alcohol, some self harm, you get the idea. There are many plasters people use, and this is no different. I'm not saying it's the truth for everyone on here, but there are certainly plenty here that don't realise they have suppressed pain. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?"
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's"
What in earth did I type!
I think my definition is what that should say |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's"
Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here."
Thanks..that's great honesty. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy."
It's more nuanced than that surely |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here. Thanks..that's great honesty."
It is true though in my opinion, that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed. I think so many people misunderstand that |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists."
I think you don’t even need an underlying would, great sex is great in the moment but doesn’t fulfil much on its own and often even hours of great sex is not worth the drive tbh, great sex with a great person is what I’m looking for , and if I can’t have that , then just a great person or two will do nicely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy.
It's more nuanced than that surely"
I'm not sure? |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy.
It's more nuanced than that surely"
Indeed. Something like a glance. To anyone else it's just a glance, to your partner who knows you inside out, they can tell you EXACTLY what that glance means, how you feel and what you're saying without words. Just one example |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy.
It's more nuanced than that surely I'm not sure?"
: Rushes off to look up dictionary definition:
A close familiarity or friendship.
There are many ways of interpreting that surely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here. Thanks..that's great honesty.
It is true though in my opinion, that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed. I think so many people misunderstand that"
I understand that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed.
That's not misunderstood by me,
it's that your intimacy here can (as you possibly hint) be something others may want to emulate but it also cannot provide some others with the depths of intimacy they may possibly be seeking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy.
It's more nuanced than that surely I'm not sure?
: Rushes off to look up dictionary definition:
A close familiarity or friendship.
There are many ways of interpreting that surely."
 The definition I saw added a bit more. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here. Thanks..that's great honesty.
It is true though in my opinion, that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed. I think so many people misunderstand that I understand that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed.
That's not misunderstood by me,
it's that your intimacy here can (as you possibly hint) be something others may want to emulate but it also cannot provide some others with the depths of intimacy they may possibly be seeking."
People seeking intimacy from us will not get it. People seeking intimacy from sex with strangers will not get it *in my opinion*. If they see something in our or anyone else's relationship they'd like for themselves they're only going to get it here if they meet someone and build it. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy.
It's more nuanced than that surely I'm not sure?
: Rushes off to look up dictionary definition:
A close familiarity or friendship.
There are many ways of interpreting that surely. The definition I saw added a bit more."
That's the thing with definition. There will always be one that's slightly different |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What are you searching for on here?
Connection, experiences, pleasure, learning"
It's interesting that you used the word learning.
What are you on here to learn about?
Was that a set out intention or part of the fallout from being here? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous?
Not in my opinion but I thinky definition of intimacy is different to many people's Thanks, but the dictionary definition of intimacy IS the definition of intimacy.
It's more nuanced than that surely I'm not sure?
: Rushes off to look up dictionary definition:
A close familiarity or friendship.
There are many ways of interpreting that surely. The definition I saw added a bit more.
That's the thing with definition. There will always be one that's slightly different "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here. Thanks..that's great honesty.
It is true though in my opinion, that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed. I think so many people misunderstand that I understand that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed.
That's not misunderstood by me,
it's that your intimacy here can (as you possibly hint) be something others may want to emulate but it also cannot provide some others with the depths of intimacy they may possibly be seeking.
People seeking intimacy from us will not get it. People seeking intimacy from sex with strangers will not get it *in my opinion*. If they see something in our or anyone else's relationship they'd like for themselves they're only going to get it here if they meet someone and build it. "
You've hit on something here.
Is the meet and build something a very viable option?
What would you suggest that it takes?
Can it be manufactured? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I'm not searching for anything on here. I don't think I ever have been. But that doesn't mean I haven't found something, and I've found way more than I ever expected to find, in ways I wouldnt have ever thought to look. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm not searching for anything on here. I don't think I ever have been. But that doesn't mean I haven't found something, and I've found way more than I ever expected to find, in ways I wouldnt have ever thought to look."
That's an interesting way of putting it. |
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here. Thanks..that's great honesty.
It is true though in my opinion, that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed. I think so many people misunderstand that I understand that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed.
That's not misunderstood by me,
it's that your intimacy here can (as you possibly hint) be something others may want to emulate but it also cannot provide some others with the depths of intimacy they may possibly be seeking.
People seeking intimacy from us will not get it. People seeking intimacy from sex with strangers will not get it *in my opinion*. If they see something in our or anyone else's relationship they'd like for themselves they're only going to get it here if they meet someone and build it. You've hit on something here.
Is the meet and build something a very viable option?
What would you suggest that it takes?
Can it be manufactured?"
I think the only way a relationship is established is meeting someone and building on the initial attraction be that physical or mental. What it takes is for both people to be open to it, a shedload of compromise and a huge amount of communication.
Can it be manufactured? I don't know what that question means really but no solid relationship is forged without some effort |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would also add that there are far more people on these sites that think they know why they're on these sites but don't!
Loads of peeps think they're looking for great sex or whatever when the reality is they don't realise that's no more than a temporary plaster for an underlying wound that they've not addressed and in soke cases don't even know exists.
I'd agree. I think a lot of people are looking for intimacy and think they'll find it in sex. Are swinging and intimacy in any way synonymous? For instance are most swinging couples on here real promoters of intimacy?
I don't think so. Some people might have a deep intimacy that would encourage others to seek the same but that can happen outside of swinging too. Also some people might consider that if you swing as a couple you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship. If that something is intimacy it's not available here. Thanks..that's great honesty.
It is true though in my opinion, that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed. I think so many people misunderstand that I understand that to swing successfully as a couple a deep intimacy is needed.
That's not misunderstood by me,
it's that your intimacy here can (as you possibly hint) be something others may want to emulate but it also cannot provide some others with the depths of intimacy they may possibly be seeking.
People seeking intimacy from us will not get it. People seeking intimacy from sex with strangers will not get it *in my opinion*. If they see something in our or anyone else's relationship they'd like for themselves they're only going to get it here if they meet someone and build it. You've hit on something here.
Is the meet and build something a very viable option?
What would you suggest that it takes?
Can it be manufactured?
I think the only way a relationship is established is meeting someone and building on the initial attraction be that physical or mental. What it takes is for both people to be open to it, a shedload of compromise and a huge amount of communication.
Can it be manufactured? I don't know what that question means really but no solid relationship is forged without some effort"
That's a real good resource of info for anyone who would want to make such a journey.
The question about it being manufactured has more to do with those who may not know what actually goes into it..you have covered that well. |
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"What are you searching for on here?
Connection, experiences, pleasure, learning It's interesting that you used the word learning.
What are you on here to learn about?
Was that a set out intention or part of the fallout from being here? "
Learning... About people, sexual experiences, myself... And no I had no real intentions other than meeting people but things change don't they? Every day is different. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What are you searching for on here?
Connection, experiences, pleasure, learning It's interesting that you used the word learning.
What are you on here to learn about?
Was that a set out intention or part of the fallout from being here?
Learning... About people, sexual experiences, myself... And no I had no real intentions other than meeting people but things change don't they? Every day is different. "
Respect. |
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