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Figure it out!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have you got your shit figured out yet?!  
I've turned 41 last month. I better hurry up or I'll end up with a dunce hat in the corner of life. 
Do we need to "have it all together" or do we just let the stream carry us on, enjoy the flow?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve got some of my shit together but other stuff is strewn all over the land "
Maybe it was extra weight you needed to lose. Too much to carry at once weighs us down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve got some of my shit together but other stuff is strewn all over the land
Maybe it was extra weight you needed to lose. Too much to carry at once weighs us down. "
Possibly true! Narrow my focus and maybe it’ll come together |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Every time I think that I have, life throws a curveball.
It’s ok to not have your life or shit figured out, it seems to be more about how you treat others along the way.
‘People make plans, god laughs’ or ‘life is what happens whilst we make other plans’, spring to mind as quotes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Every time I think that I have, life throws a curveball.
It’s ok to not have your life or shit figured out, it seems to be more about how you treat others along the way.
‘People make plans, god laughs’ or ‘life is what happens whilst we make other plans’, spring to mind as quotes"
Yes and yes.
But do you grab that ball and throw it back at circumstances with a full force? Serve it real good. Get it out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"32 soon and I don't think I'm chaos incarnate but I'm also not quite *wherever* yet. Still learning, evolving and growing more awesome by the day. "
If we stop evolving, we might as well stop caring for life as it is, no? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Every time I think that I have, life throws a curveball.
It’s ok to not have your life or shit figured out, it seems to be more about how you treat others along the way.
‘People make plans, god laughs’ or ‘life is what happens whilst we make other plans’, spring to mind as quotes
Yes and yes.
But do you grab that ball and throw it back at circumstances with a full force? Serve it real good. Get it out. "
I’m trying…
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Every time I think that I have, life throws a curveball.
It’s ok to not have your life or shit figured out, it seems to be more about how you treat others along the way.
‘People make plans, god laughs’ or ‘life is what happens whilst we make other plans’, spring to mind as quotes
Yes and yes.
But do you grab that ball and throw it back at circumstances with a full force? Serve it real good. Get it out.
I’m trying…
"
That's good enough. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Being 32, I "should" have my shit together according to my friends.
But I genuinly feel as though I haven't yet! "
At 32 I was married with kids and a good well paid job. Then I realised that there’s far more to life than what other people think your life ‘should’ look like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be in my grave and my wardrobe will still be in need of a good sort out. "
Think I will just turn mine into my coffin, nail it shut with me inside, save the hassle of sorting it all out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Being 32, I "should" have my shit together according to my friends.
But I genuinly feel as though I haven't yet!
At 32 I was married with kids and a good well paid job. Then I realised that there’s far more to life than what other people think your life ‘should’ look like"
Conventions blah blah |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll be in my grave and my wardrobe will still be in need of a good sort out.
Think I will just turn mine into my coffin, nail it shut with me inside, save the hassle of sorting it all out"
Very much liking the upcycling idea. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"45 and winging life. Some days I feel like I’m winning, others and abject failure. I’ve no idea. "
Yeah. Is there a place where some cheeky trolls hide this "idea" we are supposed to have, find and stick to? |
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I'm making it up as I go along. I'll never have my shit together, but I can see how I've matured with dealing with things when the shit hits the fan. I'm more confident I know how to deal with things as they arise compared to my younger self. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm 57 and just going with the flow.
Life has taught me not to plan too far head because the further ahead you plan the more likely it is that your plans will go awry."
I am enjoying reading from ones older than myself most.. that floating is also a good way. Rather than paddling furiously against the current at times. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm making it up as I go along. I'll never have my shit together, but I can see how I've matured with dealing with things when the shit hits the fan. I'm more confident I know how to deal with things as they arise compared to my younger self. "
It's a precious lesson of experience. Umbrellas of anti shit storm get stronger here too each time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you just go with the flow there's a real chance you'll get washed up somewhere you don't like.
Life and events have their own current for sure, but we can learn to swim our own way too. Just don't be a King Cnut and try to turn back the tide.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think if you just go with the flow there's a real chance you'll get washed up somewhere you don't like.
Life and events have their own current for sure, but we can learn to swim our own way too. Just don't be a King Cnut and try to turn back the tide.
"
Maybe I should put up an advert for a swimming teacher/lifeguard funny you mentioned that though.. I'll explain why later.
But more seriously. As always splendid visual metaphors Mr Bloom! 
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"Being 32, I "should" have my shit together according to my friends.
But I genuinly feel as though I haven't yet!
At 32 I was married with kids and a good well paid job. Then I realised that there’s far more to life than what other people think your life ‘should’ look like"
Absolutely, I don't have kids of my own yet, but I feel as though that will happen one day, at my own pace and not pre-determined by anyone.
Right now, I'm at that stage of my life where the balance is just right to do what I enjoy, but at the same time meet people. |
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Can we ever really have our shit together? Life is an ever changing thing, and while you might have everything just so in a particular instance, you may get thrown a curve ball that knocks it off kilter...I think it boils down to how quickly you can recover and adapt to changes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can we ever really have our shit together? Life is an ever changing thing, and while you might have everything just so in a particular instance, you may get thrown a curve ball that knocks it off kilter...I think it boils down to how quickly you can recover and adapt to changes. "
That's a great question Lily. Should it be an aim all.
Resilience is the goal
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I’m 37 in a few months time, career wise I feel I have my shit together and I’ve grown my own business on the side too over the last 6/7yrs. I feel that following a plan or a stereotypical view of what having your shit together is isn’t for me, life is ever changing and people/jobs/life choices determine where you may end up, you never know what’s around the corner and I like the excitement that brings xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m 37 in a few months time, career wise I feel I have my shit together and I’ve grown my own business on the side too over the last 6/7yrs. I feel that following a plan or a stereotypical view of what having your shit together is isn’t for me, life is ever changing and people/jobs/life choices determine where you may end up, you never know what’s around the corner and I like the excitement that brings xx"
Fearless attitude helps instead of being afraid of the change and challenge you embrace it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just flow with the go, have no desire to figure it all out.
More peaceful perhaps that way ? whatever works and doesn't hold you back ! "
Thank you I never really thought about it but yes now you say it's because it's "peaceful". Ta |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just flow with the go, have no desire to figure it all out.
More peaceful perhaps that way ? whatever works and doesn't hold you back !
Thank you I never really thought about it but yes now you say it's because it's "peaceful". Ta"
You're welcome. |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
"I’m 37 in a few months time, career wise I feel I have my shit together and I’ve grown my own business on the side too over the last 6/7yrs. I feel that following a plan or a stereotypical view of what having your shit together is isn’t for me, life is ever changing and people/jobs/life choices determine where you may end up, you never know what’s around the corner and I like the excitement that brings xx
Fearless attitude helps instead of being afraid of the change and challenge you embrace it. "
Thank you lovely  x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Let the river of life carry you forward. You can do that and still be sorted "
Reminds me of a vintage style meme of a lady floating on a inflatable mattress with a cocktail.. and a caption. You know me- Busy, busy |
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Every time I think I’ve got my shit together then something comes along and changes the path again
I truly think having the love of a good woman and my son has made me feel ok about certain aspects of my life not being fine. Having some strong foundations under your feet makes you feel like you can pick and choose when to shine a torch on the rocky parts…
K |
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"Let the river of life carry you forward. You can do that and still be sorted
Reminds me of a vintage style meme of a lady floating on a inflatable mattress with a cocktail.. and a caption. You know me- Busy, busy "
I was the inspiration and model for that meme |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in my 40s and I’ve lived of my wits snd skills all my life, left the army to jump ship and chase the dream. But as you get closer and earn more money the dream changes slightly and moves further away.
I’ve learnt that I’m becoming old man in a young mans game and probably running out of luck in that career.
Do I have my shit together… yeah, I’m lucky financially I didn’t piss it all up the wall, a house a beautiful daughter and my health. I’ve turned a corner and I’m starting to look at making a full time home in the uk work wise. I’ll always earn I’ve a good ethic for working hard. But I’ll never have an office job it’s just not me. I can’t do that kind of work
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One feels the aims, goals and purpose of life have been completed or at least I feel happily contented for the body to fall away when that time comes. There is no shit or it’s all shit, coughhhh bullshit.  |
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A few months ago I got close to death and now realise there’s more years behind me, than in front of me now.
So every new good memory is a bonus to add on top of those previous good memories. But each bad experience is another thing I’ve managed to get past and learn from or even survive.
It’s easy for people to say ‘live in the now’ but if you find yourself feeling loved, content or just happy then add it to the good memories bank, you’ll need it to help deal with the bad stuff.  |
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"I like to face each day as it comes. I'm not much of a planner and don't set targets.
The only thing I do is save up for Christmas. "
We're very much like that although as we've grown older we do tend to plan slightly more. I think because the end is in sight albeit some way off (hopefully) we're aware that things need doing in terms of experiences or they won't get done at all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Every time I think I’ve got my shit together then something comes along and changes the path again
I truly think having the love of a good woman and my son has made me feel ok about certain aspects of my life not being fine. Having some strong foundations under your feet makes you feel like you can pick and choose when to shine a torch on the rocky parts…
K"
Or its a good cushioning for the times when you fall under avalanche of those rocks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Let the river of life carry you forward. You can do that and still be sorted
Reminds me of a vintage style meme of a lady floating on a inflatable mattress with a cocktail.. and a caption. You know me- Busy, busy
I was the inspiration and model for that meme "
Haha she was much less suave than you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like to face each day as it comes. I'm not much of a planner and don't set targets.
The only thing I do is save up for Christmas. "
I feel like I need more harmony between the two - letting go and planning. Or less extremes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No way have I got my shit together.. but I’m ok at this adulting and parenting malarkey 80% of the time.. I manage to keep us solvent, safe & warm.
What I have learnt is not to stress about stuff I can’t change..or worry about the future that is yet to happen. I’ll just go with the flow & deal with life’s inevitable curveballs the best I can. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m in my 40s and I’ve lived of my wits snd skills all my life, left the army to jump ship and chase the dream. But as you get closer and earn more money the dream changes slightly and moves further away.
I’ve learnt that I’m becoming old man in a young mans game and probably running out of luck in that career.
Do I have my shit together… yeah, I’m lucky financially I didn’t piss it all up the wall, a house a beautiful daughter and my health. I’ve turned a corner and I’m starting to look at making a full time home in the uk work wise. I’ll always earn I’ve a good ethic for working hard. But I’ll never have an office job it’s just not me. I can’t do that kind of work
"
It sounds like you are on some crossroads. It's a good place to be if choices are clear and you can see roughly what awaits. Or am I sensing that wrong? I hope you figure out which turns is the profitable one, not just money wise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One feels the aims, goals and purpose of life have been completed or at least I feel happily contented for the body to fall away when that time comes. There is no shit or it’s all shit, coughhhh bullshit. "
What if it is today? Still content ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A few months ago I got close to death and now realise there’s more years behind me, than in front of me now.
So every new good memory is a bonus to add on top of those previous good memories. But each bad experience is another thing I’ve managed to get past and learn from or even survive.
It’s easy for people to say ‘live in the now’ but if you find yourself feeling loved, content or just happy then add it to the good memories bank, you’ll need it to help deal with the bad stuff. "
Good memories bank sounds helpful. I'm glad you are still with us and that it was a transformative experience. Sometimes you need a good scare to realise what's important. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I haven’t really got any shit really worked out, but I’m genuinely happy with where I am with it, and that will do for me"
"Ignorance" can be a bliss too but I like feeling I'm in the KNOW.. know how of my own life. Otherwise it seems like its just passing by, passing through but what do I have to hold on to? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like to face each day as it comes. I'm not much of a planner and don't set targets.
The only thing I do is save up for Christmas.
We're very much like that although as we've grown older we do tend to plan slightly more. I think because the end is in sight albeit some way off (hopefully) we're aware that things need doing in terms of experiences or they won't get done at all"
If not now then when ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in my 40s and I’ve lived of my wits snd skills all my life, left the army to jump ship and chase the dream. But as you get closer and earn more money the dream changes slightly and moves further away.
I’ve learnt that I’m becoming old man in a young mans game and probably running out of luck in that career.
Do I have my shit together… yeah, I’m lucky financially I didn’t piss it all up the wall, a house a beautiful daughter and my health. I’ve turned a corner and I’m starting to look at making a full time home in the uk work wise. I’ll always earn I’ve a good ethic for working hard. But I’ll never have an office job it’s just not me. I can’t do that kind of work
It sounds like you are on some crossroads. It's a good place to be if choices are clear and you can see roughly what awaits. Or am I sensing that wrong? I hope you figure out which turns is the profitable one, not just money wise. "
Yeah definitely at a crossroad… but I’ve chosen to stop and I’m loving being at home. There will always be that part of me that wants to go back. But happiness is keeping my feet and heart close to home. And watching my daughter grow and become fearless is like looking in a mirror at times. And I don’t want to miss a second of that time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All depends what you mean
If you mean like work and stuff yes
If you mean love life then ooo god nope "
I mean all of it. You pick what you want to talk about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No way have I got my shit together.. but I’m ok at this adulting and parenting malarkey 80% of the time.. I manage to keep us solvent, safe & warm.
What I have learnt is not to stress about stuff I can’t change..or worry about the future that is yet to happen. I’ll just go with the flow & deal with life’s inevitable curveballs the best I can."
I am a worrier, always was. In order not to worry I keep busy. And busy is good because it does that malarkey ticked off as you mentioned. The only constant is change. |
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"Have you got your shit figured out yet?!
I've turned 41 last month. I better hurry up or I'll end up with a dunce hat in the corner of life.
Do we need to "have it all together" or do we just let the stream carry us on, enjoy the flow? "
I truly believe that those who think you can ever get your shit together are doing fine, they just haven’t realised that everyone is making it up as they go along too; Those who appear to have it together just aren’t telling you this; And those who claim to have their shit together are just happy jogging along in their own life’s hamster wheel and have really just stop trying new shit.
You can’t win at life - you can’t even finish the game alive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel like I'll always be enjoying the flow to a degree although I like at least some things figured out such is the life of the expat "
Can't have everything under control. It's impossible and draining to even try. But total chaos is like tumbling down the hill too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All depends what you mean
If you mean like work and stuff yes
If you mean love life then ooo god nope
I mean all of it. You pick what you want to talk about. "
I would say hafe figure out for now at least just need to find the other hafe |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yeah definitely at a crossroad… but I’ve chosen to stop and I’m loving being at home. There will always be that part of me that wants to go back. But happiness is keeping my feet and heart close to home. And watching my daughter grow and become fearless is like looking in a mirror at times. And I don’t want to miss a second of that time. "
No you don't want to miss it. I'm looking at mine, talking about periods and things and I still see that little baby with most gorgeous eyes in the world. And I would move the world for her. Stop it too if needed. No better reward to see them become warriors and just content people. |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
Far from it, I describe my self as a swan, I lol graceful and collected but under the water I'm paddling manically.
The last thing I expected was to end up as a single parent, I'm in my forties, I just about juggle full time work and being mum let alone anything else in my life.
Work is good though and I'm finally progressing and training in new areas and expanding my professional knowledge and career.
Personal life though that's another matter entirely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yeah definitely at a crossroad… but I’ve chosen to stop and I’m loving being at home. There will always be that part of me that wants to go back. But happiness is keeping my feet and heart close to home. And watching my daughter grow and become fearless is like looking in a mirror at times. And I don’t want to miss a second of that time.
No you don't want to miss it. I'm looking at mine, talking about periods and things and I still see that little baby with most gorgeous eyes in the world. And I would move the world for her. Stop it too if needed. No better reward to see them become warriors and just content people."
Awww thank you x I haven’t been the greatest person I can be but I’ll be the best Dad I can |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
No, I’m far too disorganised and airy fairy for that.
I used to work with a lass who was 18. She had her future mapped out. She wanted to be married by a certain age, have her own home at a certain age, have kids etc.
That sounded too regimental for me, but fairplay, she has achieved all she set out to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always wondered what this actually means when I see it written in profiles. Can you really have your shit together all the time? I suppose it's a sliding scale, I'd say if you've got a roof over your head and food in your belly, you've got your shit together. Or does every box need to be ticked in order to qualify.
In answer to your question op, I guess not, like many, my life is a work in progress thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you got your shit figured out yet?!
I've turned 41 last month. I better hurry up or I'll end up with a dunce hat in the corner of life.
Do we need to "have it all together" or do we just let the stream carry us on, enjoy the flow?
I truly believe that those who think you can ever get your shit together are doing fine, they just haven’t realised that everyone is making it up as they go along too; Those who appear to have it together just aren’t telling you this; And those who claim to have their shit together are just happy jogging along in their own life’s hamster wheel and have really just stop trying new shit.
You can’t win at life - you can’t even finish the game alive. "
10 out of 10 people die. What a devastating statistic
We are born losers then?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I reckon I’m 98.25% got my shit together. Sometimes I still have the odd “wtf are you doing woman?” moment and need to boot my own arse into action. "
Oh you made me chuckle.
I say that a lot. Better than banging a head on the wall haha.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fuck no Rose. I'm getting away with it all messed up and pretty pleased with my efforts. "
Embrace the mess
I shall see what kind of mucky pup you are soon ! |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"I reckon I’m 98.25% got my shit together. Sometimes I still have the odd “wtf are you doing woman?” moment and need to boot my own arse into action.
Oh you made me chuckle.
I say that a lot. Better than banging a head on the wall haha.
"
A bruised bum is better than a headache
Glad you chuckled, night night lady x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I reckon I’m 98.25% got my shit together. Sometimes I still have the odd “wtf are you doing woman?” moment and need to boot my own arse into action.
Oh you made me chuckle.
I say that a lot. Better than banging a head on the wall haha.
A bruised bum is better than a headache
Glad you chuckled, night night lady x"
Now you gave me some spanking thoughts
Such a giver |
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"I'm 57 and just going with the flow.
Life has taught me not to plan too far head because the further ahead you plan the more likely it is that your plans will go awry.
I am enjoying reading from ones older than myself most.. that floating is also a good way. Rather than paddling furiously against the current at times. "
Your last sentence reminds me of the serenity prayer.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".
It's something I refer to often. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
One if the big problems is people really don't have a clue what their shit is, so how can you possibly get your shit together. Think "their shit" just becomes an excuse for everything.
First thing to actually understand what your shit is. Better to break it down into little bits of shit. Deal with one bit of shit at a time, then you have to work out why that bit is shit or not actually shit at all.
Shit shit may not be all shit shit
Oh I was wondering how many times I could get the word "shit" in a post. So honestly this post simply shit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Winging it.
I'll quote Baz Luhrmann... "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know, didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't"  |
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I’ve not got a scooby.
Life can throw you huge curve balls, when you thought life was going to take you a certain way, and it all comes crashing down, what to do then?
Of course carry on, but I just existed instead of living for a good while. It wasn’t good.
I’ve still no idea what I’m doing, winging it for the foreseeable |
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I’m 45 and have yet to get my shite together! Sometimes I think, oh I’ve totally got this life shite sorted, then something happens haha! So pretty much live with a wing it approach, luckily I love a challenge!! The chaos, disorganisation and uncertainty is perhaps just the way it’s supposed to be for me, so I’ve stopped fighting it now ! Medal needed for Mr for putting up with me I reckon! Miss Pc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No plan (even a life plan) survives first contact with the enemy...
and time is the enemy!
Adapt, review, and set new goals and aspirations.
Never have regrets! "
I do have one now. I haven't messaged earlier |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Winging it.
I'll quote Baz Luhrmann... "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know, didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't" "
Oh you are kicking it !
Love Sunscreen  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m 45 and have yet to get my shite together! Sometimes I think, oh I’ve totally got this life shite sorted, then something happens haha! So pretty much live with a wing it approach, luckily I love a challenge!! The chaos, disorganisation and uncertainty is perhaps just the way it’s supposed to be for me, so I’ve stopped fighting it now ! Medal needed for Mr for putting up with me I reckon! Miss Pc "
A handmade medal..a big smoochy kiss print
I feel you. We sound alike. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve not got a scooby.
Life can throw you huge curve balls, when you thought life was going to take you a certain way, and it all comes crashing down, what to do then?
Of course carry on, but I just existed instead of living for a good while. It wasn’t good.
I’ve still no idea what I’m doing, winging it for the foreseeable "
Surviving is alright for some time. But then we miss the richness of actually living don't we. Hugs my dear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got my shit together enough to know that I don't need to get my shit together, and I really don't need to sweat it. Life is pretty good just living it as it comes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not figured it out at all here, I just go on instinct mostly.
When I tried to be anything other than the natural organic me, it didn't benefit me or thosr around me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've got my shit together enough to know that I don't need to get my shit together, and I really don't need to sweat it. Life is pretty good just living it as it comes. "
I'll take a leaf from your book |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not figured it out at all here, I just go on instinct mostly.
When I tried to be anything other than the natural organic me, it didn't benefit me or thosr around me."
You don't need to fit in. You just need to fit in with your idea of you..? Is this what you mean? |
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