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If your bed could talk what would it say

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By *usman 199 OP Man over a year ago

Stockport

Mine would say not seen you for a while

Happy Sunday mornings

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stop farting on me

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By *usman 199 OP Man over a year ago

Stockport

"Stop farting on me

"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get up you lazy cow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stop farting on me

"

Pretty much this.

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By *uckmy8inchesMan over a year ago

Hemel Hempstead

Wife with strangers again...

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Please stop farting.

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By *G LanaTV/TS over a year ago

Gosport

When is it my turn to lay on you?

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Bout time you changed these sheets, it's been more than two days, what's going on?

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

Wow, that was quite a gush. Shall we see how good the mattress protector is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get on a diet you fat fuck

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Matt Dress, 3 sheets to the wind.

Du they or is it all pillow talk?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stop humping me and get a real girl.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We need company

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

OUCH!!

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By *offiaCoolWoman over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"We need company

"

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By *urls and DressesWoman over a year ago

Somewhere near here

Just pick a side!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She would say ' ffs! Oil my joints ' the squeaky old girl..

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By *2spikeMan over a year ago

Southsea

Get out there you old git get some

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By *r.SJMan over a year ago

Wellingborough

Is it just you and me again, when do I get someone sexy in me?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sleep is not an option in here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mine would say get up you lazy git

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a sofa, why are you doing this to me?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please just throw me in the fucking bin because I've had enough and I don't know how I've not collapsed yet I am falling apart I am broken and you are killing me and prolonging the pain PLEASE stop trying to fix me and tighten me I am GONE and there is no point in trying please just kill me now and let me burn I can't take this anymore *squeaks in pain and discomfort*

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By *usman 199 OP Man over a year ago

Stockport

"Please just throw me in the fucking bin because I've had enough and I don't know how I've not collapsed yet I am falling apart I am broken and you are killing me and prolonging the pain PLEASE stop trying to fix me and tighten me I am GONE and there is no point in trying please just kill me now and let me burn I can't take this anymore *squeaks in pain and discomfort*"
wow your bed has a lot to say for itself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please just throw me in the fucking bin because I've had enough and I don't know how I've not collapsed yet I am falling apart I am broken and you are killing me and prolonging the pain PLEASE stop trying to fix me and tighten me I am GONE and there is no point in trying please just kill me now and let me burn I can't take this anymore *squeaks in pain and discomfort*"

This is my bed to, bless her...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get out of here and enjoy life more

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By *irtydevil666Man over a year ago

bristol

Change me......

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By *stbury DavenportMan over a year ago

Nottingham

Probably "Argh, fucking hell!"

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By *urvelover39Man over a year ago

Somewhere

Please bring me a female

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By *ny1localMan over a year ago

READING

Why a king size, when it's only you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Change my mattress please, this one is so noisy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can you clean the mess up you 2 left on me this morning

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By *ornyone30Man over a year ago

ABERDEEN

Mine wouldn't say anything, it would just sarcastically laugh at me

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By *tormingJimCouple over a year ago

bradford

Knew the mattress protector wasn't good enough, soaked again

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Just buy a new one of me please, I'm old and can't go on..

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Get off me you lazy bitch.

Also what my meets say to me as well

(disclaimer..... Not true.... Its crazy bitch

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had to go to court to take out a gagging order on mine so it didn't blab!

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

I've got wobbly legs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get a woman in bed with you. Fed up with you watching porn and wanking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My reply is no one wants me

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