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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
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"Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
"
Goodness knows. I do put myself in others shoes before I open my mouth/start to type, though. It helps a bit. |
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"Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
"
I was having this conversation with friends last night. Judging someone in the High Street who had collapsed while people thought they were d*unk so laughed at their predicament. He'd had a seizure. I know it's slightly different as it's not an emotional challenge but an illustration that it's way to easy to judge others. We live in an age where we believe that we don't have time to think too deeply beyond the immediate.
It's a really good reminder op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
"
What's the context? |
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We are more self-interested. And we want to have, to the point of being ridiculously unreasonable, things to be black and white and simple. Hence the lack of acceptance by many, of sexuality on a continuum, as well as gender. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
"
I don't actually recognise that situation. I tend to think I'm quite straightforward and others are a complex enigma. Maybe that's low self esteem though, focus on others as a diversion ? Hope not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve tended to be the opposite in the past, I can spot it in others and accept it, but fail to see it happening to myself and accept it. I’d always try and make myself one it the other. Now I can see it in myself to and I try to accept how I’m feeling at that particular time, it’s hard at times but I’m learning. But I’m always mindful of how someone else might be feeling if sometimes I might not reach out to offer support |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Maybe because it's easier to give up on other people than yourself.
Survival instinct of some kind ?
Lonely though as a result I guess. "
It is, it’s also dehumanising to a degree. Placing ‘your’ expectations of how grief/sadness/love/joy looks or is portrayed onto others robs them of their individuality and homogenises us all.
I think that often it’s all too easy to pigeon hole other people |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
I don't actually recognise that situation. I tend to think I'm quite straightforward and others are a complex enigma. Maybe that's low self esteem though, focus on others as a diversion ? Hope not "
There’s a beauty in simplicity and rejection of the complicated isn’t a bad thing in yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe because it's easier to give up on other people than yourself.
Survival instinct of some kind ?
Lonely though as a result I guess.
It is, it’s also dehumanising to a degree. Placing ‘your’ expectations of how grief/sadness/love/joy looks or is portrayed onto others robs them of their individuality and homogenises us all.
I think that often it’s all too easy to pigeon hole other people "
Well. It's just an instincts I suppose. Even animals have them. But we, humans, as you pointed out can and could do better than just survive. Try at least. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"We are more self-interested. And we want to have, to the point of being ridiculously unreasonable, things to be black and white and simple. Hence the lack of acceptance by many, of sexuality on a continuum, as well as gender. "
I tend to agree, definitely about people being self interested. We all are though, aren’t we? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
What's the context?"
No context, feel free to create your own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember hearing a phrase that we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.
I reckon the reason for that is that no matter how well we know someone, we can never truly know their intentions and can only go by what they do and how that affects ourselves. That's where communication comes in handy as it can help clear the air and get both views across  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember hearing a phrase that we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.
I reckon the reason for that is that no matter how well we know someone, we can never truly know their intentions and can only go by what they do and how that affects ourselves. That's where communication comes in handy as it can help clear the air and get both views across "
Boom. It's OK to say I didn't mean it and forgive yourself but where is the same compassion for others ? Is it ok to use the same explanation for your bad actions/mistakes as justification of them for yourself, but refusing to accept others might struggle with same thing?
Yes. I guess it can be too hard to face that sometimes. |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
Perhaps I’m unusual but my instinct is usually to help or reach out to others when I sense they are in need.
Having said that I learned the hard way by emotional and mental burn out that you also have to fill your own cup first before helping others and sometimes you have to be accepting of help from others when they reach out to you.
It’s a state of constantly seeking emotional equilibrium. |
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"I remember hearing a phrase that we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.
I reckon the reason for that is that no matter how well we know someone, we can never truly know their intentions and can only go by what they do and how that affects ourselves. That's where communication comes in handy as it can help clear the air and get both views across "
So well put… |
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"Why is it that we recognise and embrace the emotional complexity within ourselves and our ability to feel multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at the same time. Yet we often fail to recognise that in others around us?
Goodness knows. I do put myself in others shoes before I open my mouth/start to type, though. It helps a bit."
I try to see things from their perspective too and it does help most of the time. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Perhaps I’m unusual but my instinct is usually to help or reach out to others when I sense they are in need.
Having said that I learned the hard way by emotional and mental burn out that you also have to fill your own cup first before helping others and sometimes you have to be accepting of help from others when they reach out to you.
It’s a state of constantly seeking emotional equilibrium. "
I do agree.
I think that the point of your post is that leaning on others and supporting others is part of life and humanity, maybe? Cutting others off or dismissing them if you’re able to help is contradictory to that |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"Perhaps I’m unusual but my instinct is usually to help or reach out to others when I sense they are in need.
Having said that I learned the hard way by emotional and mental burn out that you also have to fill your own cup first before helping others and sometimes you have to be accepting of help from others when they reach out to you.
It’s a state of constantly seeking emotional equilibrium.
I do agree.
I think that the point of your post is that leaning on others and supporting others is part of life and humanity, maybe? Cutting others off or dismissing them if you’re able to help is contradictory to that"
Yes. To consciously deny someone help is contradictory to being human/humanity but doesn’t being able to make that choice to walk away also come part and parcel of it?
Making conscious choices to do something or not is what makes us who we are. And we can never ever really know a persons reasons for walking away or being dismissive even if we don’t agree with it. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Perhaps I’m unusual but my instinct is usually to help or reach out to others when I sense they are in need.
Having said that I learned the hard way by emotional and mental burn out that you also have to fill your own cup first before helping others and sometimes you have to be accepting of help from others when they reach out to you.
It’s a state of constantly seeking emotional equilibrium.
I do agree.
I think that the point of your post is that leaning on others and supporting others is part of life and humanity, maybe? Cutting others off or dismissing them if you’re able to help is contradictory to that
Yes. To consciously deny someone help is contradictory to being human/humanity but doesn’t being able to make that choice to walk away also come part and parcel of it?
Making conscious choices to do something or not is what makes us who we are. And we can never ever really know a persons reasons for walking away or being dismissive even if we don’t agree with it. "
I agree with you again.
Making choices based on presumption and assumptions, when we don’t recognise our own bias makes me wonder though |
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