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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
This phrase jumped out from the Philippa Perry letter response this weekend:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/12/ask-philippa-perry-something-about-my-perfect-partner-is-not-doing-it-for-me
Do we sabotage good relationships to find a thrill? Is that what drives people in good relationships, who don't want to leave their partners, to join a site like this?
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Not read the article but I can take a good guess at it and I say it's bollocks.
We're either suited or we're not. Very few of those buck wild teenage romances go on to marriage and the next 70yrs because we find out we're not suited. Many of those sexless marriages stay together because there's more things than just sex.
Id's say it's just one persons opinion on why they are finding out what sex is like and are liking it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This phrase jumped out from the Philippa Perry letter response this weekend:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/12/ask-philippa-perry-something-about-my-perfect-partner-is-not-doing-it-for-me
Do we sabotage good relationships to find a thrill? Is that what drives people in good relationships, who don't want to leave their partners, to join a site like this?
"
Is the secret not to maintain that in the relationship?
I’m asking because I haven’t got a clue  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Not read the article but I can take a good guess at it and I say it's bollocks.
We're either suited or we're not. Very few of those buck wild teenage romances go on to marriage and the next 70yrs because we find out we're not suited. Many of those sexless marriages stay together because there's more things than just sex.
Id's say it's just one persons opinion on why they are finding out what sex is like and are liking it? "
Read the article.
It reminded me of a couple 20 years ago. They'd been together 15 years, married for 10, and both had affairs, felt there were faults with the other etc. They gave each other the six weeks summer holidays to get themselves back together as a couple and if they couldn't they would part. They are still together and have been happier each year. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"This phrase jumped out from the Philippa Perry letter response this weekend:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/12/ask-philippa-perry-something-about-my-perfect-partner-is-not-doing-it-for-me
Do we sabotage good relationships to find a thrill? Is that what drives people in good relationships, who don't want to leave their partners, to join a site like this?
Is the secret not to maintain that in the relationship?
I’m asking because I haven’t got a clue "
All addictions are problematic.
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I don’t buy into the idea of being ‘addicted’ to love- applying the addiction label to an increasing range of behaviours means that the term becomes meaningless
But I can definitely relate to the article, in fact it applies directly to my current circumstances as I’ve been wrestling with similar thoughts about my guy. Past relationships and dating experiences have been more of a rollercoaster. I would end up regretting it if I ended things to pursue something more thrilling, but I have definitely given a lot of thought to this exact issue recently
On a related note, Esther Perel’s ideas around the paradox of love are really interesting |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I don’t buy into the idea of being ‘addicted’ to love- applying the addiction label to an increasing range of behaviours means that the term becomes meaningless
But I can definitely relate to the article, in fact it applies directly to my current circumstances as I’ve been wrestling with similar thoughts about my guy. Past relationships and dating experiences have been more of a rollercoaster. I would end up regretting it if I ended things to pursue something more thrilling, but I have definitely given a lot of thought to this exact issue recently
On a related note, Esther Perel’s ideas around the paradox of love are really interesting "
I hope you work through your current dilemma and reach a happy place with your decision.
I saw Perel's tweet about app-based dating becoming stale and needing to 'play' together to find some excitement.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's definitely a thing
But I've grown out of it 
What did it take for your to outgrow the behaviour?
"
Probably the realisation that choices I was making were leaving me feeling not very good about myself afterwards and the ability to change that was in my control |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think it's definitely a thing
But I've grown out of it
What did it take for your to outgrow the behaviour?
Probably the realisation that choices I was making were leaving me feeling not very good about myself afterwards and the ability to change that was in my control "
That's great. Congratulations. |
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