FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Something awful has just happened....
Something awful has just happened....
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"A moment of silence for a fallen hero.
Get a new one with next-day delivery.
I always have a spare rabbit because I burn through them very quickly and won't be without one! Better safe than sorry."
I am currently without the ability to even do that.... my bank card vanished on Saturday and I'm awaiting a new one dammit!! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"This is why we have credit cards.
Unless you want us to try and fix it remotely by hive mind troubleshooting?"
Do you think that'll work?
No credit card here. That way leads to madness  |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead 
Send help. Send chocolate. Please  "
I'm sure you could find a few tongues to satisfy you until you get a new one.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I feel your cuntache, mine died at the height of its usage. Luckily they sent a replacement out within 48 hours or I'd have been leaping on any poor sod.
If you have a PayPal account you can order one using that, the Doxy website accepts PayPal and you don't need a card for that? #helpingavagout. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I'm sure you could find a few tongues to satisfy you until you get a new one. "
There is not a single tongue here though.
Well.... there's mine. But I'm not that flexible. |
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"A moment of silence for a fallen hero.
Get a new one with next-day delivery.
I always have a spare rabbit because I burn through them very quickly and won't be without one! Better safe than sorry.
I am currently without the ability to even do that.... my bank card vanished on Saturday and I'm awaiting a new one dammit!!"
Oh bugger! Manual wanks for a few days then |
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "
Friends we gather her today to lay to rest a true hero in these difficult times now if everyone will lower there heads and pray
Lo, there do I see my cord.
Lo, there do I see my owner,
and my plug, and my batteries.
Lo, there do I see the line of my products,
Back to the beginning!
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla!
Where the brave may buzz forever! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Oh god no!
Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps?
 xxxx"
Always  |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
"Oh god no!
Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps?
xxxx
Always "
Ive just slipped into your box xx |
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
Friends we gather her today to lay to rest a true hero in these difficult times now if everyone will lower there heads and pray
Lo, there do I see my cord.
Lo, there do I see my owner,
and my plug, and my batteries.
Lo, there do I see the line of my products,
Back to the beginning!
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla!
Where the brave may buzz forever!"
Amen |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Oh god no!
Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps?
xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx"
I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent).  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I feel your cuntache, mine died at the height of its usage. Luckily they sent a replacement out within 48 hours or I'd have been leaping on any poor sod.
If you have a PayPal account you can order one using that, the Doxy website accepts PayPal and you don't need a card for that? #helpingavagout."
Ooooh....... my vag is most grateful to you for the suggestion.... |
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"Oh god no!
Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps?
xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx
I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent). "
You should see a doctor about that |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Oh god no!
Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps?
xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx
I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent).
You should see a doctor about that "
They said I need a mechanic. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"A moment of silence for a fallen hero.
Get a new one with next-day delivery.
I always have a spare rabbit because I burn through them very quickly and won't be without one! Better safe than sorry.
I am currently without the ability to even do that.... my bank card vanished on Saturday and I'm awaiting a new one dammit!!
Oh bugger! Manual wanks for a few days then "
I know..... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
Friends we gather her today to lay to rest a true hero in these difficult times now if everyone will lower there heads and pray
Lo, there do I see my cord.
Lo, there do I see my owner,
and my plug, and my batteries.
Lo, there do I see the line of my products,
Back to the beginning!
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla!
Where the brave may buzz forever!"
That's beautiful |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Oh god no!
Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps?
xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx"
That was what that was? Ooooh |
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Okay. It’s wasp season so get a dome shaped plastic pot and smear the inside with jam. Put this near a seaside little bin and wait until you have a fair number of the little blighters stuck on the jam inside. Carefully (note word usage) put a cap on the other end. Next grab your self a rolling pin and glue plastic dome (with wasps inside) onto one end (dome side up).
Now when you are in need of relief give the rolling pin a damn good shake to annoy the little buggers in the dome and place against waffle.
You’re welcome (still don’t understand why I failed the audition for Blue Peter) |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Its obviously due to excessive wear and tear 
It is. I confess. Excessively excessive.
Surely they don't have a fair usage policy though"
I don't even know! I should have read the small print |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send penises. Send chocolate. Please "
Edited for accuracy…. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"R.I.P
Come stroke me and make it better?
Ok, shall I get dressed or not? I'm naked at the moment, I was just applying lotion.."
Definitely not. Don't want lotion on the clothes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"R.I.P
Come stroke me and make it better?
Ok, shall I get dressed or not? I'm naked at the moment, I was just applying lotion..
Definitely not. Don't want lotion on the clothes."
Ok Sugartits jumping in the car now |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have a new, unused, in the box 'spare' rabbit that i am extremely unlikely to open /use... I can post it to you?!? "
How have you a spare that you are unlikely to use??
And are you actually this much of an angel? How am I even asking.... I know you are! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Okay. It’s wasp season so get a dome shaped plastic pot and smear the inside with jam. Put this near a seaside little bin and wait until you have a fair number of the little blighters stuck on the jam inside. Carefully (note word usage) put a cap on the other end. Next grab your self a rolling pin and glue plastic dome (with wasps inside) onto one end (dome side up).
Now when you are in need of relief give the rolling pin a damn good shake to annoy the little buggers in the dome and place against waffle.
You’re welcome (still don’t understand why I failed the audition for Blue Peter) "
You're a bloody genius you are!
They should never have rejected you..... the world is a sadder place because of it.
How about a YouTube channel? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send penises. Send chocolate. Please
Edited for accuracy…."
You are just too good to me.
And.... erm.... you say it yet you don't do it? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send penises. Send chocolate. Please
Edited for accuracy….
You forgot tongues.  "
Outrageous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a new, unused, in the box 'spare' rabbit that i am extremely unlikely to open /use... I can post it to you?!?
How have you a spare that you are unlikely to use??
And are you actually this much of an angel? How am I even asking.... I know you are!"
It's a long story haha... DM me if you want me to post xx |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"R.I.P
Come stroke me and make it better?
Ok, shall I get dressed or not? I'm naked at the moment, I was just applying lotion..
Definitely not. Don't want lotion on the clothes.
Ok Sugartits jumping in the car now"
You're too good to me treacle |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have a new, unused, in the box 'spare' rabbit that i am extremely unlikely to open /use... I can post it to you?!?
How have you a spare that you are unlikely to use??
And are you actually this much of an angel? How am I even asking.... I know you are!
It's a long story haha... DM me if you want me to post xx"
I adore you. See you in your box in a bit xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you going to bury it in the back garden?
I may have to.....
Unless that’s what killed it
I can't even get it in the front garden ffs"
Does it need mowing? |
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Sorry Posh buy I've eaten all the chocolate but let me suggest putting a brick in your washing machine, sticking a suction dildo to it either on top or to the front and then plonking yourself onto said dildo.
Who cares if your washer is fucked as long as you will be sated and happy |
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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
"Are you going to bury it in the back garden?
I may have to....."
My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx
Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters  though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage |
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Argh this would be my biggest nightmare! Especially now I have more alone time to fill!!
I've had one break in past its so upsetting. Especially when you replace it but the model or settings have changed!!
Hope yours is replaced ASAP. X |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Are you going to bury it in the back garden?
I may have to.....
Unless that’s what killed it
I can't even get it in the front garden ffs
Does it need mowing?"
It does. But it's not that bloody big! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Sorry Posh buy I've eaten all the chocolate but let me suggest putting a brick in your washing machine, sticking a suction dildo to it either on top or to the front and then plonking yourself onto said dildo.
Who cares if your washer is fucked as long as you will be sated and happy "
You're a clever sausage Sophie! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Set up a crowd funding page, I’m sure the guys of fab will help out!
You have the best ideas
Might I suggest you sell your old one on a popular auction site ........ yes I'm sure some would !"
That both makes me feel a bit and also makes me wonder if that's true..... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I think if you’re crumping mains-powered sex toys then you maybe need to ask yourself a few questions 
Mind, a friend of mine “crushed” her expanding rabbit "
I completely confess I've overused it..... this is what happens when your requirement for orgasms outstrips your ability to have someone to help! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Youve over used it! That’s what you’ve done! You over used it!
Time for a more up to date ‘all singing all orgasm’ model me thinks  "
I have. Totally overused it! I confess.
May have to save for a new one.... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Check the fuse or check you haven’t taken the power down in the whole area "
There was a pop.... and a spark.... but the power in the area is ok thank goodness! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Are you going to bury it in the back garden?
I may have to.....
My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx
Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage "
That would be awesome! I do wonder how often that kind of thing happens....
Make it a really smooth one would you |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Argh this would be my biggest nightmare! Especially now I have more alone time to fill!!
I've had one break in past its so upsetting. Especially when you replace it but the model or settings have changed!!
Hope yours is replaced ASAP. X"
Thank you for sharing the sorrow.
Me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"18 months is a really good going. That's the longest any of my pet wands lived 
I am so glad it isn't just me!!
You might remember my RIP wand post in a similar tone lol
I severed its head  "
|
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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
"Are you going to bury it in the back garden?
I may have to.....
My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx
Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage
That would be awesome! I do wonder how often that kind of thing happens....
Make it a really smooth one would you "
Dimensions? I fancy playing with my wood and be good to try something different  |
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"Oh god no!
Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps?
xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx
I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent).
You should see a doctor about that
They said I need a mechanic. "
Ouch |
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"Debbie McGee might have one of Paul Daniels' spare ones
Can you ask her next time you see her?
Yeah, I've got her on speed dial
Knew you'd come through for me "
She said that she's preoccupied, but will send Jim along as a replacement |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
By help you mean turn up with another wand?
"
That absolutely works |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"18 months is a really good going. That's the longest any of my pet wands lived
I am so glad it isn't just me!!
You might remember my RIP wand post in a similar tone lol
I severed its head "
I do recall.... that's impressive |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Are you going to bury it in the back garden?
I may have to.....
My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx
Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage
That would be awesome! I do wonder how often that kind of thing happens....
Make it a really smooth one would you
Dimensions? I fancy playing with my wood and be good to try something different "
Dealers choice I say |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"So not so posh time for a new wand but remember "it's not the wizard the choices the wand it's the wand that choices the wizard""
I'd like it to hurry.... |
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By *ibonacciMan
over a year ago
hidden location |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "
I'm no expert on wands, but I'm pretty sure chocolate isn't gonna help you fix it. Super glue or duct tape, yes, but chocolate? What were you thinking..? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Debbie McGee might have one of Paul Daniels' spare ones
Can you ask her next time you see her?
Yeah, I've got her on speed dial
Knew you'd come through for me
She said that she's preoccupied, but will send Jim along as a replacement "
Well now... that works |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I'm no expert on wands, but I'm pretty sure chocolate isn't gonna help you fix it. Super glue or duct tape, yes, but chocolate? What were you thinking..? "
Not as a replacement!! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I like fixing stuff...did it let the magic smoke out? "
It went pop and sparked.... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
Just use your satisfier pro for a while "
I'm totally on it |
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I like fixing stuff...did it let the magic smoke out?
It went pop and sparked...."
oh dear ... that's fairly terminal....my sanding mouse did that the other day....sounds like it's permanently fuckered |
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "
I appreciate that this doesn't help in the short term but sign up to a adult toy site to be a tester, that way you can get some for free. Saves your money to leave you to buy more in the long run.
Hope your Monday improves! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I like fixing stuff...did it let the magic smoke out?
It went pop and sparked....oh dear ... that's fairly terminal....my sanding mouse did that the other day....sounds like it's permanently fuckered "
It very much is.... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months....
She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I appreciate that this doesn't help in the short term but sign up to a adult toy site to be a tester, that way you can get some for free. Saves your money to leave you to buy more in the long run.
Hope your Monday improves! "
Ooooh I'm going to look into that.... |
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I feel your pain mine has died too 
