Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same? |
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It would depend. Cards on the table from me also. Would it be difficult to converse with you? Would we be able to chat without you saying things like "oh it would probably go wrong if I tried that" and similar? Would you be morose?
I ask these questions because you sound similar to how my father can be at times.
I know that you wouldn't meet us anyway but I'm assuming this is sort of hypothetical.
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Honestly? Yes it would put me off. Not because of how someone is (you do you and all that), but because I know that I don't deal very well with negative people, and I wouldn't deliberately put either of us in that situation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. I don't meet negative people that I perceive as being hard work as I'm here purely for fun. In real life I might persevere but they would have to be someone I really like despite the negativity as I find it really draining. And I exert enough of my energy just being around people sometimes. |
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I know the feeling op I have my own mental health issues and have dealt with some shit that has and still is impacting my meeting people but I try and leave all the shit from other at home in a box ( it has a habit of showing up anyway) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry but no I wouldn't meet someone who's negative. I've had to deal with a lot of negativity from my mother over the years and it's just worse and because she's tried to control and manipulate me through it, we are not that close anymore and she's one of the reasons I was diagnosed with depression. I made a mental note to myself for my own sake to walk away and stay away from negative people now. When all is said and done, they always try to drag you down to their level x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In real life, with a friend, no it wouldn't put be off and I'd want to help them get through it. But on here? Sadly yes it would because I'm on here for fun and so I generally seek out fun and positive people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?"
Question:
What do you generally expect from others? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it would put me off. But from what I've seen of you on the forums, you're quite funny and don't come across as a negative person. I think we are all a bit negative sometimes.
I can't stand it when people are nothing but pessimistic and everything is negative. I find it really draining to be around people like that so I probably wouldn't meet with someone if that's the kind of vibe I got from them.
I feel similar about people who are always on top of the world and happy. Hahaha, you can't please me. I need a good balance.  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It depends on how I see you. If yes you find the negative in everything then the chances are I wouldn't meet you. I don't mind people having bad days we all do, but someone who can't find joy in anything then nope I would pass. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would put me off to be honest. My personality can reflect those I am with so being around someone who is negative about everything just mentally puts a strain on me. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Being honest it would probably put us off. When meeting we want to chat, have a laugh and generally have a good time. If it is going to be hard to talk to you or you are going to be pessimistic about everything then we would bow out very quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?"
From reading your forum posts I'd meet you.  |
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"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?
From reading your forum posts I'd meet you. "
well I didn't start this thread to try and meet people but when in Rome.
Hey how you doin ?   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what way are you negative?
I always tend to look at everything as bad.
However in my humble opinion,I'm funny as fuck as well.  "
Funny is good. Not everything deserves a positive spin on it |
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"Being honest it would probably put us off. When meeting we want to chat, have a laugh and generally have a good time. If it is going to be hard to talk to you or you are going to be pessimistic about everything then we would bow out very quickly."
This for us too. Swinging is a little extra fun to us so that's what it has to be, fun. If we met someone who was negative about life, and talked everything down, then we would struggle. We enjoy life hearted fun banter and lots of laughter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm often perceived as negative but I see it more as being open, honest and saying it like it is. Ironically the people that claim I'm negative only focus on that and overlook the 99 positive things I've said or done to highlight the negative. I have no problem meeting people of all walks of life. I've dated men with depression personality disorders, severe epilepsy and on the Autistic spectrum and found them more interesting and fun then some of the "shiny happy people"
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"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?"
Are you a couple.
Are you grumpy and she happy or both grumps.
Would we meet a couple that maybe hard work hoping for a sexy evening.
No chance, sorry.
Looking for swinging friends not non swinging.
Don't know how you would word your first message.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, it wouldn't put me off from the way you've worded your post because you said you are trying to change and what better way to help than than to be around people that can help you see the good in things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iv spent years working on myself and I do tend to lean towards negative thoughts however iv never had anyone say this is an issue for them or people cut me off because of it. We can all be negative at times but if it's constant I don't and won't people like that in my life. |
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For me personally, I’m not good with negative people! I find myself getting dragged into it, and it really does impact my mood in a negative way, which then impacts my mental wellbeing! I shadow the energy around me, so if someone’s grumpy I feel grumpy, if someone’s happy then I’m happy etc. Sorry to hear you’ve lost friends over it, that’s a bit rubbish! |
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"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?"
Well we've shared a few forum threads and I'd certainly enjoy a beer with you... You disguise those challenges well on these threads and I'd imagine many people have some issues but aren't as brutally honest as you've been. I'm sure people can have horny encounters without knowing everyone's deeply personal emotional settings. Working on it is brilliant though. Best of luck with it. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
People meet who they want to meet. Some you'll attract, others will bite your head off for looking at them wrong. There's plenty of different people in this world, realistically you're only chatting with them for 15 minutes then shagging for the rest... If you get along, you get along, if not it's a drive home? |
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I hear you and sympathize OP. For me it would depend on how the negativity would present itself. If that would be turned towards me if we'd met, I wouldn't have the ability to deal with that myself.
Having a winge and a bad day though would not put me off. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
I am not a negative person but always be told especially in the forums which kinda amuses me, it just proves how people judge you without knowing anything about you.
I have good days and bad like everyone but generally I am very positive, in my life and I have every reason to be so, my only negativity is how others try to define me when it suits.
But if i can help one person in the forums - tben its worth all the shite
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I've been thinking about this OP. No I don't think it would but it's situational. It depends really - if it resulted in taking it out on me, mind games etc... I'd probably give a wide berth. If it's something you're aware of, well, we all have our demons but some are more apparent than others. I'd meet for a social definitely. I think we're more than our issues.
For what it's worth in the years I've read you on the forum you don't come across as negative 100% of the time. Self deprecating, yes. Bit of a grumpy sod at times definitely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?"
I like you
Always have
You're normal and come across very human as opposed to being a whipped up version of you to attract more attention
So, yes, I'd meet you
Anxiety smanxiety
We can play anxiety Top Trumps over a beer |
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Cheers everyone thanks for your replies and honesty.
I appreciate it.
Lol yes I am a tad grumpy at times and very self deprecating but I do always try to tell the truth and be myself.
Much love and best wishes to all xx |
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If I was attracted to you, then it wouldn’t put me off meeting you however … if we met and you gave a really negative, mood hoover vibe I’d probably leave it there.
I’m happy to be social able with anyone, but if you see it as an opportunity to turn it into a negative then my low tolerance button would instantly be pushed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I’m totally honest, I wouldn’t.
I had a husband who was very negative, and I dealt with him for years, it was so much to take on.
It drains your energy doesn’t it "
Absolutely, it drained me until I started to feel like I was drowning, when I started to go under, that’s when I knew I had to leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps you are not as negative as you think you are?
Ive seen lots of your posts and its never struck me that you're negative. A lot of your posts are funny, some are insightful and in others you have the balls or tits (its a couples) profile and I dont know which one of you is posting) to take a stance rather than agree with everyone. I havnt seen you be nasty or cruel either.
I think you have more going for you than you realise.
Id happily meet you for coffee, beer, glass of wine and a chat.
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"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?"
Just looked at your verifications and nothing points to any form of negativity in all your real meets.
From your post,would give you a wide berth.
From your verifications would love to meet such a fun couple.
Which is real or a bit of both. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Not initially no. I’d meet you to make my own mind up about you as often folk have skewed opinions about themselves.
However, if you were very anxious, very down I’d probably have to leave it there as I have suffered from depression and I’m a very anxious person and have to manage my surroundings so as not to go into a downward spiral.
That said, I’ve always enjoyed your posts on here OP and think of you as being very dry humoured so I think we’d be alright for a coffee at least |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think overtime it can be draining always being the happy shiny one when other person does not make an effort to do the same for you. Sometimes it's worth trying on a different attitude even if it comes forced initially ? Saying that I don't know you at all and these are just general ramblings of mine. Feel free to ignore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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negativity and positivity can be habitual, you mention anxiety and depression so I know its not as easy as just saying well don't be like that, but try small changes to your out look, like if you make a sandwich that wasn't all that you expected maybe say well I'm no longer hungry rather than that was shit, go with more a flow in life than analysis of things, start small, aim high. you will get there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you giving yourself a misnomer here, OP?
Could it be that you’re more of a pessimist than wholly negative? I draw a distinction there that a pessimist might be negative about things to come but ‘in the moment’, i.e. normal conversation, they may be absolutely fine.
If someone were truly negative, I’d imagine even just that wouldn’t be a pleasant experience and you don’t come across that way. |
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"Cards on the table from the start.
I'm a negative person,I don't like to be this way I'm working to Change my mindset I'm trying to be more positive with my outlook and how I see others.
But fuck people don't make it very easy.
I've been dealt some shit during my 50plus year's also had some good times.
But I know my negativity has clouded people's opinions of me and as a result I have pretty much no friends and this hurts.
I try not to the way I am and wish I wasn't such a grump.
I suffer badly with anxiety and depression.
So my question is knowing this information would it put you off meeting me or someone else who is the same?"
I don't know if you can change being negative.
I am negative but I am quite happy and relaxed.
I expect the negative therefore every positive is a surprise and a bonus.
So I think it is less about your worldly outlook and more about how that effects your aura.
If you are negative but relaxed about it then few things worry you.
If you are negative but this concerns you then publicising that negativity can bring others down.
So try going with the world is crap but this is to be expected.
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