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Things that make you different
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was wondering how do people with differences that are personal but visible approach this topic in meets ? Say like missing a body part, scars …. Do you tell them before meeting or feel no need to tell them at all ? It’s not a case of feeling ashamed more the feeling of not wanting it to define you as a person but also not wanting to shock others by not telling them in advance.
I hope this question comes across in the right way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was wondering how do people with differences that are personal but visible approach this topic in meets ? Say like missing a body part, scars …. Do you tell them before meeting or feel no need to tell them at all ? It’s not a case of feeling ashamed more the feeling of not wanting it to define you as a person but also not wanting to shock others by not telling them in advance.
I hope this question comes across in the right way. "
You look beautiful in your profile pic. We all have a lack of confidence about something but self confidence and living a life you love will see you through. Anyone who will judge you on a visible difference doesn’t deserve you. I know it can be a shallow world but it’s their loss, not yours if they don’t appreciate you. I have just been watching Gardeners World on TV and one of the viewers that does some presenting. She has a disability which means she has hands but no arms. She is the most inspiring person - she gardens with her feet and has a fabulous garden and vegetable garden, she doesn’t let anything she wants to do defeat her. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, unless you want to - just be yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was wondering how do people with differences that are personal but visible approach this topic in meets ? Say like missing a body part, scars …. Do you tell them before meeting or feel no need to tell them at all ? It’s not a case of feeling ashamed more the feeling of not wanting it to define you as a person but also not wanting to shock others by not telling them in advance.
I hope this question comes across in the right way.
You look beautiful in your profile pic. We all have a lack of confidence about something but self confidence and living a life you love will see you through. Anyone who will judge you on a visible difference doesn’t deserve you. I know it can be a shallow world but it’s their loss, not yours if they don’t appreciate you. I have just been watching Gardeners World on TV and one of the viewers that does some presenting. She has a disability which means she has hands but no arms. She is the most inspiring person - she gardens with her feet and has a fabulous garden and vegetable garden, she doesn’t let anything she wants to do defeat her. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, unless you want to - just be yourself. "
Thanks a wonderful answer thank you, Il have to check out this gardener as she sounds amazing !
It’s one of those things fab/swinging should be so simple but I personally will always have to consider telling something that’s personal to me with strangers. But your words have helped me. |
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I'm not meeting at the moment due to an accident I had last year which has left me with a scar (and a few other reasons).
I hate it and feel others would be put off by it too. Maybe once it starts to look better, I'll get myself back out there x |
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For me I love to give so as long as I can give pleasure to you in not bothered about looks or religen or race.
A close friend of mine is dating a grate sexy lady and she has health problems but when you look at them all you see is love..... and it's so nice ok yes she is cute but he is over a divorce and licking a dream for now.
Sexy is how you are not what you look like sexy is from within and you can't take that. |
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I use a wheelchair due to pelvic nerve damage I acquired during my last pregnancy. We make potential meets aware, purely for the logistics of having accessible places to meet. We've had a few people stop speaking to us once it's pointed out/mentioned (it's in our photos too).
I get frustrated sometimes about the fact I need to use the chair, having been able bodied for 31yrs of my life, but mostly, I don't have any issues. If other people have issues with me being a wheelchair user, then that's their problem.
I have a FWB who is an above the knee amputee - his lack of a left lower leg is irrelevant in our friendship etc....
Probably best to make potential meets aware of anything that might impact on practicalities, such as accessing places, but it's entirely up to the individual. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Aww guys this makes me feel so happy  thank you to all your reply’s I read everyone and theyv really helped knowing I’m not the only one that deals with things like this. Being positive and just owning it seem to be the way to go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not meeting at the moment due to an accident I had last year which has left me with a scar (and a few other reasons).
I hate it and feel others would be put off by it too. Maybe once it starts to look better, I'll get myself back out there x"
Hugs x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I love to give so as long as I can give pleasure to you in not bothered about looks or religen or race.
A close friend of mine is dating a grate sexy lady and she has health problems but when you look at them all you see is love..... and it's so nice ok yes she is cute but he is over a divorce and licking a dream for now.
Sexy is how you are not what you look like sexy is from within and you can't take that. "
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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago
wirral |
I have a scar and no one has ever mentioned it...Just own it, it's part of you and you're alive because of it. Who knows, other people might be alive because of it too depending on how you got it. Perhaps it would be a good conversation starter too |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've several large scars I never mention them as it's never come up in conversation before I have met anyone. Some have asked me about what happened when they see them but it's never been an issue. There's nothing I can do about them anyhow so may as well embrace them as part of me now. |
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By *antzMan
over a year ago
alton |
i have poland's syndrome, not as badly affected as some with it, i vaguely mention it in my profile "dodgy chest" really let it hold me back as a teenager, for no other reason than being ashamed of it, no female I've ever been with has seemed bothered by it,
never mentioned it prior to a meet just try and leave my t-shirt on for as long as possible  even in naturist clubs no-one has ever mentioned it, i should be honest and put a few pics up on profile, as now back after a long break i do see more and more profiles stating only looking for "gym fit blokes" i just tend not to trouble those people with a message,
we are what we are and i don't want to be sat in my nursing home in 40years regretting that i didn't just get on with it, if a couple or a lady kick me out of a meet because of it now I'd still prefer that than not go and be sat at home wondering what it would of been like to meet them.
bit of a ramble but i hope you get the jist of it |
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Personality over appearance is top of our criteria, we got click to share that dick lol.
We both have things we don't like about our bodies and wouldn't judge anyone else's. If they decided to call a meet off because of something they didn't like about us, then fair to say they were not for us in the 1st place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Scars don't define you. They are part of you and tell a story. I'm intrigued by them and only ask about them if its mentioned or if I feel they'd be comfortable being asked.
Own them and embrace them. Beauty is a matter of opinion to each and every one of us and it would be a very boring world if we all wanted the same thing |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
I have a bad scar on the front of one of my legs, I used to make a point of mentioning it and pretty much all of the time it was never an issue, it's more my hang up than anyone elses and I've learned to love with it and hardly mention it now pre meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve a lot of scars from different things. People I know know I have them but most are covered with tattoos now and one under my beard. I’m not self conscious of them as such. It’s just the explaining how it happened |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
How relevant, this just came up for me after chatting for weeks to someone and them mentioning the eyes are the windows to the soul I then asked if she had noticed anything different about mine. She had noticed something but too polite to ask. I actually have one blue and one green and blind in one eye, this was after a childhood accident and happened so long ago I forget about it therefore never mention it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thought I might add whilst I do have scars, my difference is I have no hair ! Like I have none and it’s nothing a choice, so not telling could result in some pretty funny moments if they pull my hair (wig) off haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How relevant, this just came up for me after chatting for weeks to someone and them mentioning the eyes are the windows to the soul I then asked if she had noticed anything different about mine. She had noticed something but too polite to ask. I actually have one blue and one green and blind in one eye, this was after a childhood accident and happened so long ago I forget about it therefore never mention it."
That just sounds pretty cool tbf, the different colours not the accent. |
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If you have an obvious disability, or particularly severe scaring, it's probably best to be up front about it. Simply to out those it's a problem for.
However, I hope that most will not be bothered. If I'm attracted to someone, scars, birthmarks and disabilities, are not going to change that.
Great to see so many positive posts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had to have a testicle removed
My assumption is it's very off putting so much so that I feel I should mention just in case we may meet
I've not had many meets none have specifically said that's the reason but .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thought I might add whilst I do have scars, my difference is I have no hair ! Like I have none and it’s nothing a choice, so not telling could result in some pretty funny moments if they pull my hair (wig) off haha "
Hair is over-rated. You certainly have plenty of other assets to please the eye anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have c-section scar and a few small ones. Never hide them, don't even think about them. Never thought of mentioning them before a meet."
I have a c section scar but my tummy roll covers it nicely |
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