FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Blunt as fuck chat up lines please
Blunt as fuck chat up lines please
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
My dear friend Saff needs to learn the fine art of the chat up line.
So folks, give her the best you've got. Knock her off her pretty little feet and make her swoon.
But be warned..... she doesn't get subtlety, so blunt as you can please.
She's whopped a tit out and everything in readiness.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The one I get every day
“Did it hurt”  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"The one I get every day
“Did it hurt” "
Ahh.... a classic.
So, Saff.... did it hurt?  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Can i ruin you  "
Ooh she might get that one |
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Its not going to suck its self  |
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Point between her legs and ask if she is going to eat that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 18:22:30] |
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My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
You’re welcome  |
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Do you want to go halves on a bastard? |
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Fancy coming back to mine for a pizza and a shag? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you fuck on first date as i do. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
You've what Saff? And a thread? It's the twilight zone.
(Not a line) |
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"Can i ruin you "
May the force be with you. |
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"Do you want to go halves on a bastard?"
Good luck at 45 but god loves a trier… |
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“GIZZASHAGYABITCH” works wonders. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Its not going to suck its self "
That would be impressive if it did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm boring. I tend to just say "I like you" or "would you like to kiss" or "would you like to dance"
If I have already been dancing then I'm a heaving ball of sweat and as red as a beet and my chances of success are even higher. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Fuck it just bend over "
Ooh that's blunt. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"While you're down there. "
During the bending over from the previous one? |
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Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.
Want to see if you can add “has an awesome gag reflex” to your C.V.?
Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
You’re welcome "
I’m ashamed, that I laughed at these   |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Point between her legs and ask if she is going to eat that."
She's flexible.... but not that flexible! |
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"Its not going to suck its self
That would be impressive if it did"
See and that’s where it’s going wrong… next |
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"“GIZZASHAGYABITCH” works wonders. "
Sold  |
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"Fuck and go? "
Where you off?!? |
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"Show me your rat "
You’re thinking of Nora… |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
You’re welcome "
I nearly died on my drink then |
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"Fuck and go?
Where you off?!?"
I’ll stay if you like  |
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"You've what Saff? And a thread? It's the twilight zone.
(Not a line)"
Only one Meli… might treat the other one next week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think something falling down ooo wait it’s just your Knickers wait let me help you with them |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
You’re welcome "
Why am I not surprised you have a barrel full of these lines  |
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"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
You’re welcome "
Disappointed in the lack of Dutch ovens… try harder |
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"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
You’re welcome "
The little toe one I'd a classic! |
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"Its not going to suck its self
That would be impressive if it did"
Fab would have a shortage of single males |
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"Do you fuck on first date as i do."
No I’m a fucking lady… |
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By *wointo1Couple (MM)
over a year ago
Manchester |
Do you want me to pull out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your one in a million and when I say that I mean one in a million that I have messages to day so the question is are you going to be the lucky one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck and go? "
 |
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
One for the GoT fans:
You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're so fine I'd suck your dad's dick just to get a taste of the recipe |
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"You're so fine I'd suck your dad's dick just to get a taste of the recipe "
My kinda chick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I normally splat and run but damm your so fine I will repeat |
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 18:46:10] |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Come on people!!
My dead grandpa could do better.
I said knock her off her feet! |
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
hmmm... too subtle eh?...
Ok... how about
Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion? |
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You'd better tell work you won't be in tomorrow, by the time I'm finished you won't be able to walk. |
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Hope you cook breakfast if I am stopping the night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be a good slag" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not going to suck its self
That would be impressive if it did"
It would render fab redundant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve all been desensitised by fab…
FAF is surely the most direct and obvious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you have a inch in your pants can I scratch for you
My chat up games weak but my cumming games heavy |
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" hmmm... too subtle eh?...
Ok... how about
Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion?"
How big is a portion? Portion of what? Too many questions… |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"One for the GoT fans:
You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon..."
*faints* |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
" hmmm... too subtle eh?...
Ok... how about
Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion?
How big is a portion? Portion of what? Too many questions… "
Cake. |
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"Hope you cook breakfast if I am stopping the night "
Yes but you’re not. |
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Is your dad a cement mixer, coz you sure make me hard!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like your face. Can I sit on it? |
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Let me try again.
Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you |
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
" hmmm... too subtle eh?...
Ok... how about
Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion?
How big is a portion? Portion of what? Too many questions… "
Cock. And it's a fairly sizable portion...
(That's the super subtle followup line) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you want to cum to heaven |
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"One for the GoT fans:
You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon...
*faints*"
Not seen it… next… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One for the GoT fans:
You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon...
*faints*
Not seen it… next… "
get them kickers (in your case boxers) off now |
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"Let me try again.
Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you "
Are you powdery and mushy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nice tits. Mind if I feel them" - I witnessed a mate say this once. She replied "Yeah, ok then". They dated for two years. |
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"Let me try again.
Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you
Are you powdery and mushy? "
No I’m smooth and creamy. Maybe the odd large lump |
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"BRACE! BRACE! BRACE!"
Funny .., better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your name is Saff?
That stands for Sucks And Fucks Frequently right? |
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By *uy PiercedMan
over a year ago
somewhere only we know |
[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 18:59:53] |
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Bite on this flannel
Assume the position ! |
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"Your name is Saff?
That stands for Sucks And Fucks Frequently right? "
Sarcastic as Fuckety Fuck… |
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"Bite on this flannel
Assume the position !"
Yes!!! Smooth talker granny… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would you prefer cocktail of whiskey+cum after good shag, or shall i order something else? |
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"Let me try again.
Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you
Are you powdery and mushy?
No I’m smooth and creamy. Maybe the odd large lump "
Partial to a large lump but not too sure about the creamy stuff… try harder… |
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
Eh up Saff... I hear you're partial to a big lump... |
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If you look that good in clothes l bet you look even better in your birthday suit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm going to bang you like a shit house door blowing in a hurricane |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead? "
Coffee just came out of my nose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey ladies what's difference between you and my sunglasses ? |
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By *ill74Man
over a year ago
New forest area |
Here's 10p, call your mam, you've pulled.
Fancy a fuck
My balls need emptying, can I empty them in you.
I need to have a lie down. You look like a nice bed...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead? "
no joking ... 100% honesty. That's how my wife bedded me first.
To shut me up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead?
Coffee just came out of my nose"
You said blunt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey ladies what's difference between you and my sunglasses ? "
sunglass sit hire on my face |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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after i night to together saff there be only 7 planets after i destroyed uranus |
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"I'm going to bang you like a shit house door blowing in a hurricane "
You've pulled
This is an awesome line |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gorgeous legs....!! They'd look great as a scarf!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?
(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)
We have sex and then you disappear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Any Irish meat in you.do you want some |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?
(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)
We have sex and then you disappear "
Saff..... winner!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?
(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)
We have sex and then you disappear
Saff..... winner!!"
Ooo what do I win ? Lol x |
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"Bite on this flannel
Assume the position !
Yes!!! Smooth talker granny… "
Shut the fuck up before I fuck you shut!
( too much ?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?
Warm regards |
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"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?
(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)
We have sex and then you disappear "
Or we have sex then you pull a rabbit out
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The one and only classic of…
They’re nice legs, what time do they open? |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"Its not going to suck its self
That would be impressive if it did"
Does it count if the guy sucks it himself? He keeps asking me to watch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?
(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)
We have sex and then you disappear
Or we have sex then you pull a rabbit out
"
That answer probably would of saved a lot of drinks being chucked over me haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like your face. Can I sit on it? "
Do you want to sniff my wood |
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
Bet you dont play golf Saff, but I'd still like to drive my balls into your rough... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bet you dont play golf Saff, but I'd still like to drive my balls into your rough..."
Winner (where’s the applause emoji) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s a party on your face, can I come? |
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Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!"
I love it! |
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"If you look that good in clothes l bet you look even better in your birthday suit "
Makes me think of Father Christmas… so no |
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"Bet you dont play golf Saff, but I'd still like to drive my balls into your rough..."
You calling me rough? |
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"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?
Warm regards "
Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch? |
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Nice car, your manoeuvres are good too, how bout slam it in reverse and back up onto this (gestures to cock) |
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"Bite on this flannel
Assume the position !
Yes!!! Smooth talker granny…
Shut the fuck up before I fuck you shut!
( too much ?) "
… ermmmmmmm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This never worked for me but it used to be one of my dare chat up lines years ago when I was younger in the night clubs.
(Quiet) If you fancy an f@@k say (loud) what. |
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Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?
Warm regards
Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch?"
Put a ball on my nose and find out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
You’re welcome "
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"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?
Warm regards
Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch?
Put a ball on my nose and find out "
Sold |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you a chocolate orange?
Because I want to unwrap you and bang you on the table |
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"Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty"
Pretty polly, pretty polly |
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"Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!"
Mmmmm doughnutttssss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?
Warm regards
Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch?
Put a ball on my nose and find out
Sold "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you a better shag than your mum? |
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"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead? "
That rings a bell. |
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Bet you’re dripping like a fucked fridge |
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By *ill74Man
over a year ago
New forest area |
Smile if you want to have sex... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your knickers will look good on the bedroom floor. |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
Ever fucked a 67 year old. ? No , Your place or mine  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Ever fucked a 67 year old. ? No , Your place or mine "
Now that's blunt.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you just window shopping or would like to pop in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Saff:
Wednesday 29th September @7pm
Dinner Reservation for 2 is under the name “Will”.
RSVP
X
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Hello darling, suppose a ducks out of the question,
Get your coat you've pulled |
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"Bet you’re dripping like a fucked fridge "
Oooosshhhttt I am now. |
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" . Some good ones here Saff"
Want to borrow one Nora?!? |
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" . Some good ones here Saff
Want to borrow one Nora?!? "
I only skimmed through. I’ll go back and look who posted them |
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"Saff:
Wednesday 29th September @7pm
Dinner Reservation for 2 is under the name “Will”.
RSVP
X
"
Very specific |
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D’ya wanna flaaaake in that luv? |
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I’ve witnessed a mate use this a few times…
“Do you know what, you’d love me if I wasn’t so fucking ugly”
Usually gets, “you’re not ugly!” Or “shame that isn’t it”. Either way it gets a laugh, when we were younger I reckon it worked about 60% of the time. |
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Let’s go to my place and do some math. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My cock is about to leave home, he's hard work. Have you got a decent box to put him in |
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By *aviniaCDTV/TS
over a year ago
Leeds (close to GAP) |
"Wow, you don't sweat much for a big lass!" |
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I'm no psychic but I reckon by the morning we'll both be fucked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 21:08:58] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you take it up the arse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 21:10:25] |
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Blunt ok these are some of the most bluny I've heard in clubs and bars from years or bar work
Nice shoes do you fancy a fuck
Do I make you moist
Nice dress it would look better on my floor
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lick this or fuck off, you really are boring me... |
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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago
manchester |
Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lick this or fuck off, you really are boring me..."
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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago
manchester |
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I fancy some cock on tongue for tea Pet, brace yourself  |
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By *ete59Man
over a year ago
Royston |
How do you like your eggs cooked in the morning |
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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago
manchester |
Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between! |
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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago
manchester |
Roses are red, lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour |
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By *ananas57Couple
over a year ago
lake ariel |
I use this one, I’m a slutty wife |
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If I must , I don’t mind doing care in the community |
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"Show me your rat
You’re thinking of Nora… "
Lmao!! That’s def not your kind of chat up line Saff  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you got any Irish in you? …….. Do you want some? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you got any Irish in you? …….. Do you want some? |
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[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 21:43:48] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've got the buns I've got the hotdog |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fancy a felch? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You look a lot like my next victim. |
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Wanna get naked?
I have actually used this line!
Mrs TMN x |
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