FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is distance a barrier?
Is distance a barrier?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I find that, generally, people I speak to in the forums and elsewhere are too far away to reasonably meet, whereas the local people I’ve spoken to are few and far between. Is this because women don’t feel the pressure to meet when there’s so much distance, whereas if you’re more local you’d feel more pressured? Genuine question as it’s something I’ve started to notice a lot xx |
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I've never felt pressured to meet regardless of someone's location, if I don't want to meet then I say so...if they're insistent or pushy after a polite no then they'll receive a not so polite answer.
Distance has never made a difference to me, if I liked someone and wanted to meet then I'd make it happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they live on Uranus it will probably be a one night stand, unless they’re prepared to meet halfway, which is Mars or Jupiter.
You have people living on your anus?  "
Yes, that’s why I’m taking those tablets to get rid of them. |
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"If they live on Uranus it will probably be a one night stand, unless they’re prepared to meet halfway, which is Mars or Jupiter.
You have people living on your anus?
Yes, that’s why I’m taking those tablets to get rid of them. "
You can get tablets that get rid of people?
Do they only get rid of the ones that you don't like?
(asking purely for research purposes, obviously  ) |
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
"I find that, generally, people I speak to in the forums and elsewhere are too far away to reasonably meet, whereas the local people I’ve spoken to are few and far between. Is this because women don’t feel the pressure to meet when there’s so much distance, whereas if you’re more local you’d feel more pressured? Genuine question as it’s something I’ve started to notice a lot xx"
Distance should be no object if you really click... it does heap the pressure and anticipation up though as spontaneous meets are near impossible, so perhaps not ideal... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer longer social meets anyway. I've had a weekend with someone from Northampton before (2 1/2 hours away) and it was awesome. Distance not an issue for the right person. I'd make it work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never has been, I guess it depends what you’re after. But I’m
After connection and building in something. So planning a full weekend together, laughing, smiling and enjoying doing everything you Would on a date weekend.
A gorgeous evening meal out and dress up is part of the flirting and evenings fun, a couple of drinks in a cool bar, live music… heaven. Flirting and kissing and light gentle touches xx
Late lazy lie in… brunch and exploring. Drinks and shopping till we drop x
Distance is no issue not when making an amazing memory.
Traveling and having weekends in different cities is great fun to.
I can’t wait to explore York with someone special as it’s an amazing city I love.
But I’ll also be happy with a log cabin. Food to cook Amazing meals. Wine. A log fire a outside hot tub amd a clear night to stargaze
Perfect xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am always happy to travel for the right person so I don’t see distance as being a barrier at all. Obviously the distance needs to be discussed before it goes to meeting as I wouldn’t want it to become an issue further down the line |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never has been, I guess it depends what you’re after. But I’m
After connection and building in something. So planning a full weekend together, laughing, smiling and enjoying doing everything you Would on a date weekend.
A gorgeous evening meal out and dress up is part of the flirting and evenings fun, a couple of drinks in a cool bar, live music… heaven. Flirting and kissing and light gentle touches xx
Late lazy lie in… brunch and exploring. Drinks and shopping till we drop x
Distance is no issue not when making an amazing memory.
Traveling and having weekends in different cities is great fun to.
I can’t wait to explore York with someone special as it’s an amazing city I love.
But I’ll also be happy with a log cabin. Food to cook Amazing meals. Wine. A log fire a outside hot tub amd a clear night to stargaze
Perfect xx "
Ok you've sold it to me.  
Can we finish the romantic evening in Hooters? |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
If the destination is within reach it’s not a barrier, it’s a case of whether you wish to travel the distance for that person
For me connection is key, if that connection is with someone further afield then you just put in a little more effort, plan things together, make a weekend of a visit, the travel to a meet can be an adventure in itself xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never has been, I guess it depends what you’re after. But I’m
After connection and building in something. So planning a full weekend together, laughing, smiling and enjoying doing everything you Would on a date weekend.
A gorgeous evening meal out and dress up is part of the flirting and evenings fun, a couple of drinks in a cool bar, live music… heaven. Flirting and kissing and light gentle touches xx
Late lazy lie in… brunch and exploring. Drinks and shopping till we drop x
Distance is no issue not when making an amazing memory.
Traveling and having weekends in different cities is great fun to.
I can’t wait to explore York with someone special as it’s an amazing city I love.
But I’ll also be happy with a log cabin. Food to cook Amazing meals. Wine. A log fire a outside hot tub amd a clear night to stargaze
Perfect xx
Ok you've sold it to me.
Can we finish the romantic evening in Hooters?"
The one in Nottingham lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Ok you've sold it to me.
Can we finish the romantic evening in Hooters?
The one in Nottingham lol"
Indeedy, classy joint. It was the standard annual trip for Superbowl night.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Ok you've sold it to me.
Can we finish the romantic evening in Hooters?
The one in Nottingham lol
Indeedy, classy joint. It was the standard annual trip for Superbowl night. "
. Hahah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've never seen distance as an issue as long as all parties are in constant communication beforehand...a little trust goes a long way.
Imagine driving 200 old miles for a no show?!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've never seen distance as an issue as long as all parties are in constant communication beforehand...a little trust goes a long way.
Imagine driving 200 old miles for a no show?!
"
I got ghosted when half way down the M6 to a meet in Birmingham recently. Only 30 miles into the journey but thank god I turned back after the 3rd non-reply to my messages and being "un-friended" on the app we'd been chatting on. And yes I'd had video call with said person so she wasn't a "he".  |
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It’s the biggest for me. No ones worth more than an hour drive unless I already know them and have a strong connection
There’s no way I’m driving over an hour, and that’s pushing it, to meet a stranger from the internet.
There’s probably half a million women within an hour of me. I live near London too so, probably way more. I just can’t see why I’d bother to travel so far |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I won't travel long distances to meet someone .45 mins is the most unless I'm travelling that way for something and we chatted before that would be different.
I don't have the spare time or energy to be travelling for hours to meet someone new and I always do a social first anyhow.So yes for me distance is a barrier. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
There are many reasons I don't tend to meet locally. It would take a really special connection to get me to change that now after some bad experiences.
It does mean I might not see the person as often as we would like, as I'm talking over 200, 300, 400 miles. But when there is a connection that's worth it, it is worth it. And the time you do get to spend with that person is so very special. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Not really.
We meet up in Birmingham with my sub as its half way between us and her, however we have on occasion gone the entire way and stayed with her.
We have met a few local people, but most meets have been a few hours away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only meet people who are 30 minutes from my home. Main reason is that I'm currently unemployed (for various reasons) so can't afford hotels or fuel to reasonably go any further. |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
I used to prefer distanced meets so that whole nosey neighbourhood thing is avoided but local people are handier for building something more regular.
For the right person I’d travel far and make it into a little adventure over a few days.
I have friends (non fab) all over the country so I’m often travelling about somewhere so travelling to make new fab friends isn’t off my cards, just depends what they hope to get out of it at the end of the day. |
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I don’t want to meet people infrequently. I need a pretty epic connection to want to have sex and if that happens i enjoy working within that dynamic to push buttons. That’s rare for me and I’m happy with that. So big distances would be an issue and so not something I’ll consider. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel more pressure when there is distance. If something comes up I can't as easily rearrange with someone how is travelling hours with a hotel booked etc. I prefer locals xx |
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Yes distance is an issue mainly because I don't have the time or inclination to spend half a day driving somewhere.
Yes I know the website I'm on but I don't need sex enough to go across country for it.
I have driven 3 hours for a meet but that couldn't be sustained.
I'm very clear in my profile about mutual arrangements so that includes distance travelled and costs etc as much as anything else.
There are no clubs in Northern Ireland and no more than a handful at most of organised socials during the year and half of those are by invitation only and they don't advertise for men.
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I don't feel pressure ever, whatever the circumstances.
Distance is an issue for me, my time is limited so I'd rather not spend it travelling. Also I prefer regular meet ups and with someone too far away that's not going to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's tricky because if there's too much distance, you can't spend as much time with someone that you might like. But if the connection is there, then I would go for it regardless of distance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sort of get this. When I chat to someone from say, Scotland, there's no chance of meeting so they don't ask. I can have a nice chat and not worry about leading them on. When they're local I find if I even say thanks to a compliment I immediately get pestered for a meet, or get called a prick tease. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sort of get this. When I chat to someone from say, Scotland, there's no chance of meeting so they don't ask. I can have a nice chat and not worry about leading them on. When they're local I find if I even say thanks to a compliment I immediately get pestered for a meet, or get called a prick tease."
Yeah….I’m just up the road, tease!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sort of get this. When I chat to someone from say, Scotland, there's no chance of meeting so they don't ask. I can have a nice chat and not worry about leading them on. When they're local I find if I even say thanks to a compliment I immediately get pestered for a meet, or get called a prick tease."
Yep. If I say thank you for a compliment to someone in Scotland, that’s it, if I say thank you to someone down the road, that then prompts more messages. |
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It’s time & location for us. T works such long hours that free time is really limited - then if we have to travel to a meet…
In winter he gets a few weekends off so hopefully can have some fun then!!
J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's tricky because if there's too much distance, you can't spend as much time with someone that you might like. But if the connection is there, then I would go for it regardless of distance. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I sort of get this. When I chat to someone from say, Scotland, there's no chance of meeting so they don't ask. I can have a nice chat and not worry about leading them on. When they're local I find if I even say thanks to a compliment I immediately get pestered for a meet, or get called a prick tease."
Exactly this xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of the day it depends on personal preference. Some people like to keep it local and some people, who are a little more discreet, like to travel so the chances of seeing someone in the area are quite slim. Obviously 200+ is never going to work. I’ve met with someone who lived in Wales and we met half way, we stopped in a hotel for a few days. That certainly worked. |
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I prefer local, I can't afford to travel, I don't drive. It's usually easier and quicker to arrange, especially for a quick social.
I would feel more pressure about meeting someone from far away if they were travelling a long distance just to see me. |
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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
Depends on the circumstance, person etc
A quick meet or for just a coffee, it would depend how far but limited... but if a connection is there and/ or is somewhere worth visiting for a weekend anyway, then why not? Trying to arrange things for a distance meet can be a bit more tricky and depends on finances etc but life is very much for living and what's the chances of all the best matches happening being local. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"At the end of the day it depends on personal preference. Some people like to keep it local and some people, who are a little more discreet, like to travel so the chances of seeing someone in the area are quite slim. Obviously 200+ is never going to work. I’ve met with someone who lived in Wales and we met half way, we stopped in a hotel for a few days. That certainly worked. "
200+ can work.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry I meant for myself, but absolutely- 200 miles can work for some people and I wish these people good luck. A waste of a huge journey though if they don’t show up  |
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