FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > being insulted and need help

being insulted and need help

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This week has not been a good one on fabs.

I have had quite a few first time mesages from men who dont fit into my box mainly not white. When i politely tell them that they are not my typr and good luck and happy swinging, i get an insulting message back calling me all kinds of names. I block and report. Im wondering why all of a sudden im getting them. Its kinda hurtful. Im honest on my profile, I like English men.

Im wondering if folk can read my profile and give me an idea if i have not said that I only want English (white) MEN. Can I put it any clearer

Thank you for your help in this matter.

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Delete, block, dont respond....report if abusive...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Delete, block, dont respond....report if abusive..."

I do babe but im wondering if i need to change that part of my profile where i say that i prefer English men or can i make it clearer at all.

I have reported 7 cases in the last 9 days.

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Delete, block, dont respond....report if abusive...

I do babe but im wondering if i need to change that part of my profile where i say that i prefer English men or can i make it clearer at all.

I have reported 7 cases in the last 9 days."
or you could just leave it as it is, its your profile...eveyone gets mail off people they dont want, as filters dont include ethnicity just do what your doing and smile

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I like a certain type of man but don't advertise it on the profile. That way when a mail comes in I can say yes or no without people asking why I am not looking for them.

We don't get abusive mails for saying no thanks.

Maybe change your profile wording for the type of man you are looking for and see if that helps.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

PS...obviously nothing is an excuse for abuse so reporting is a good thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Delete, block, dont respond....report if abusive...

I do babe but im wondering if i need to change that part of my profile where i say that i prefer English men or can i make it clearer at all.

I have reported 7 cases in the last 9 days."

You could cut the prefer bit out? Put will only play with White men.

If you look on other ladies profiles they say will only play with black men etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a thought, but maybe if you take off that wee bit at the end of your profile! (the bit about the crap)!

I personally find nothing wrong with it, (its just a bit banter after all), but, some total numpty might see it as a challenge!

Either that, or just reply to the msgs that appeal to you!

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By *azzasheeneMan over a year ago

kent

An Asian woman who likes white guys!

Such a shame there are not more of you on here.

Don't be put off and just ignore the undesirables....x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

Its seems from reading some of the threads in here that those that state they like or don't like a particular type of person will inevitable get comments from those that are'nt included in that preference,red rag to a bull syndrome and they can't seem to help but take it personally,feel indignant about it and just have to resort to abuse because of that

Maybe change the wording like rugby has suggested and see if it makes a difference to the types of massages you're getting and if you get messages from people that are clearly not your preference then just don't respond to them

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Delete, block, dont respond....report if abusive...

I do babe but im wondering if i need to change that part of my profile where i say that i prefer English men or can i make it clearer at all.

I have reported 7 cases in the last 9 days.or you could just leave it as it is, its your profile...eveyone gets mail off people they dont want, as filters dont include ethnicity just do what your doing and smile

Thank you femme

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"PS...obviously nothing is an excuse for abuse so reporting is a good thing

Thanx Rugby xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Delete, block, dont respond....report if abusive...

I do babe but im wondering if i need to change that part of my profile where i say that i prefer English men or can i make it clearer at all.

I have reported 7 cases in the last 9 days.

You could cut the prefer bit out? Put will only play with White men.

If you look on other ladies profiles they say will only play with black men etc"

Thank you allsports i will change that to play with white men

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"An Asian woman who likes white guys!

Such a shame there are not more of you on here.

Don't be put off and just ignore the undesirables....x"

Here here

I think its ok and just delete and report as there's no need to be rude

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like a certain type of man but don't advertise it on the profile. That way when a mail comes in I can say yes or no without people asking why I am not looking for them.

We don't get abusive mails for saying no thanks.

Maybe change your profile wording for the type of man you are looking for and see if that helps."

That's what I do. In a roundabout sort of a way.

I never say what I'm looking fot as I don't know till I find it. That way people don't get offended.

OP, I'd leave your profile as it is or how you want it. Polite people will read it and move on.

'Idiots' won't bother reading it anyway and mail you and be daft. Don't worry about those, it's nothing personal. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just a thought, but maybe if you take off that wee bit at the end of your profile! (the bit about the crap)!

I personally find nothing wrong with it, (its just a bit banter after all), but, some total numpty might see it as a challenge!

Either that, or just reply to the msgs that appeal to you! "

Thank you edinguy i will take that bit out as i see where you are coming from

thank you for you advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"An Asian woman who likes white guys!

Such a shame there are not more of you on here.

Don't be put off and just ignore the undesirables....x"

Thank oyu leeroynjenkins

I am what i am and I like what I like and I cant change that about me. There are asian ladies out there maybe just not on this site.

thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Its seems from reading some of the threads in here that those that state they like or don't like a particular type of person will inevitable get comments from those that are'nt included in that preference,red rag to a bull syndrome and they can't seem to help but take it personally,feel indignant about it and just have to resort to abuse because of that

Thank you Honeypot I have made 2 changes to my profile and i hope that will stop the the type of men messaging me. Fingers crossed as im always polite on here and always so no in a good and polite way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"An Asian woman who likes white guys!

Such a shame there are not more of you on here.

Don't be put off and just ignore the undesirables....x

Here here

I think its ok and just delete and report as there's no need to be rude

Xx"

Thank you Bigbrighty

I do that already and im sure i will have to still do that again

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I like a certain type of man but don't advertise it on the profile. That way when a mail comes in I can say yes or no without people asking why I am not looking for them.

We don't get abusive mails for saying no thanks.

Maybe change your profile wording for the type of man you are looking for and see if that helps.

Thank you Scarlet i have made the changes that people have suggested and i hope it will let men know what i am looking for.

That's what I do. In a roundabout sort of a way.

I never say what I'm looking fot as I don't know till I find it. That way people don't get offended.

OP, I'd leave your profile as it is or how you want it. Polite people will read it and move on.

'Idiots' won't bother reading it anyway and mail you and be daft. Don't worry about those, it's nothing personal. X"

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Maybe change your profile wording for the type of man you are looking for and see if that helps."

I meant that to read....maybe change the wording of your profile to not say what type of man you are looking for and see if that helps.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I second many of the above statements. Its your profile and last time i checked you can say what you damn well please. Ive read it, and there is nothing wrong with it. You are simply stating what you want you prefer and what you want.....this is no different to hundrrs of others ive seen on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not sure I like the idea that a lady has to change her own profile because of some bigots and their uncalled for messages. Its the bigots that are wrong not the OP and one would hope the site would support someone getting those sorts of messages and kick the bigots as far as they could, IP address and all. And a bigot can be any colour ...

If the policy for a lady preferring white men is to change her profile then what about all the other ladies preferring black men? Surely they must change their profiles as well? Or can't we say anything about that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

There are no policies only advice given to try and make life easier for the op,and of course reporting and blocking is always encouraged when being sent abuse from any member of the site

No-one is telling anyone that they have to change their profiles either so I don't know why you feel you have to make comments that they do?

Catlady asked for advice about her own profile and there is advice given if she wants to see if it helps,if it helps then thats surely a good thing?

Why you feel the need to mention all profiles that state a preference must now change then leave the sarcy comment at then end I have no idea

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By *appyprivateMan over a year ago

Blackburn

Might be worth putting at the top of it all "Only looking to play with WHITE English men" - could be people are just skim reading your profile.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sites like this would be a lot better if they did ISP bans for unique users.

It is basically abuse and an ISP will jump on a customer should a webmaster complain about harassment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are no policies only advice given to try and make life easier for the op,and of course reporting and blocking is always encouraged when being sent abuse from any member of the site

No-one is telling anyone that they have to change their profiles either so I don't know why you feel you have to make comments that they do?

Catlady asked for advice about her own profile and there is advice given if she wants to see if it helps,if it helps then thats surely a good thing?

Why you feel the need to mention all profiles that state a preference must now change then leave the sarcy comment at then end I have no idea

Try reading my post again...

There was advice given (including by a Mod) for the OP to change her profile. So my point was 'why should she'. Indeed others said the same thing.

So the follow on from that is if she should have to (to avoid the bigots)then should others who also express a racial preference (as is their right so to do)?

You made out my last question was a sarccy comment when it wasn't. It was a straightforward question but you have made it into something else and I would appreciate your correcting your statement if you wouldn't mind.

I ask again. Can we or can't we ask questions about balance in a race related Thread?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think it's just you as i seem to be getting alot more abuse this past couple of days just report block and move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Filters or just ignore. Believe me though it's not just single men that are rude mofo's.

I'd say just report block and don't bother responding to people that clearly haven't read your profile.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

I ask again. Can we or can't we ask questions about balance in a race related Thread?"

I have nothing to correct so won't bother doing so

And you're more than well aware if you read the forum rules that you can ask whatever you like as long as its within those rules so I really don't know why you need to ask the question in the first place unless you're trying to make a huge point out of nothing by suggesting that its not allowed

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Some people get offended when they're excluded: you see them starting their whiny, petulant threads every day.

When I'm meeting I only meet white men and have that on MY profile. I certainly wouldn't amend it to appease anyone.

Little you can do about the precious darlings fragile egos but block and report!

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

There was advice given (including by a Mod) for the OP to change her profile. So my point was 'why should she'. Indeed others said the same thing.

There was suggestions given by two mods in the capacity as members and not speaking for Admin who run the site.

As always, no one has to take any advice or suggestions from any member.

I am sure any sensible person can see when mods are speaking for themselves or shutting a thread and speaking as a mod.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been on this site along time as i said on other post and only one nasty mail in my years i would hate it... I meet as a single too so chat to loads of single men and Just find it strange .. woman get alot of this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I second many of the above statements. Its your profile and last time i checked you can say what you damn well please. Ive read it, and there is nothing wrong with it. You are simply stating what you want you prefer and what you want.....this is no different to hundrrs of others ive seen on here

Thank you Jinto

well so far i have had mainly asian men being insulting to me but hopefully that will now stop with the changes I have made.

Thank you for your feedback babe.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should thank them for adding an extra layer of filtering to you choice of male

I always say that if people respond like that to a no thanks then they are not people you want to associate with and it enforces your decision not to meet

delete block report and carry on looking for the right guy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not sure I like the idea that a lady has to change her own profile because of some bigots and their uncalled for messages. Its the bigots that are wrong not the OP and one would hope the site would support someone getting those sorts of messages and kick the bigots as far as they could, IP address and all. And a bigot can be any colour ...

Thank you Charlie for your feedback I think its asian men, they call me allkinda names once i reject them. I do block and report but its not nice. I dont desever the names they call me simply becuase i like white men.

Thank you for your comments babe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing wrong with your profile or insisting on your prefernce. Changing things makes the feel they have won a moral battle and they will just do same to other people. Keep deleting and blocking them. In the long run, you will eventually block out all the piss takers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There are no policies only advice given to try and make life easier for the op,and of course reporting and blocking is always encouraged when being sent abuse from any member of the site

No-one is telling anyone that they have to change their profiles either so I don't know why you feel you have to make comments that they do?

Catlady asked for advice about her own profile and there is advice given if she wants to see if it helps,if it helps then thats surely a good thing?

Why you feel the need to mention all profiles that state a preference must now change then leave the sarcy comment at then end I have no idea

Thank you Honeypot

I have made changes to my profile and today i have had less messages so im hoping the few changes i have made will make a difference, only time will tell babe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Might be worth putting at the top of it all "Only looking to play with WHITE English men" - could be people are just skim reading your profile."

Good idea private will do that too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Filters or just ignore. Believe me though it's not just single men that are rude mofo's.

I'd say just report block and don't bother responding to people that clearly haven't read your profile. "

Thank you Ch0pp for your feedback

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By *njamesMan over a year ago

Swindon

Your profile is fairly clear and straight forward. It says exactly what yo are looking for and what you are not.

You do however get a small percentage of people on this site that think the criteria you set do not apply to them, as they believe they are a little special or better than the rest.

Keep your chin up and don't take anything personally that has been sent to you, there are genuine guys out there and it's a shame that a small number spoil it for the rest.

You are a sexy lady and can have your pick, so ignore the idiots and enjoy the brighter side of fab.

Block, delete and report

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some people get offended when they're excluded: you see them starting their whiny, petulant threads every day.

When I'm meeting I only meet white men and have that on MY profile. I certainly wouldn't amend it to appease anyone.

Little you can do about the precious darlings fragile egos but block and report!"

Thank you Miss tress for your feedback

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have been on this site along time as i said on other post and only one nasty mail in my years i would hate it... I meet as a single too so chat to loads of single men and Just find it strange .. woman get alot of this."

I think i get this because im Asian and lets face it there are not many of us on here. So when asian men message me they think im gotta put out to them and well i wont. So hence the nasty names im called.

Thank you babe for your feedback

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You should thank them for adding an extra layer of filtering to you choice of male

I always say that if people respond like that to a no thanks then they are not people you want to associate with and it enforces your decision not to meet

delete block report and carry on looking for the right guy"

Thank you Chunky

I cant understand why we dont have this as a filter it would really help me and others out alot

Thank you for your feedback babe

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nothing wrong with your profile or insisting on your prefernce. Changing things makes the feel they have won a moral battle and they will just do same to other people. Keep deleting and blocking them. In the long run, you will eventually block out all the piss takers."

Thank you black teaser for your feedback I must admit my block list has got quite bigger lately and your right eventually they will all be blocked making life easier

thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Your profile is fairly clear and straight forward. It says exactly what yo are looking for and what you are not.

You do however get a small percentage of people on this site that think the criteria you set do not apply to them, as they believe they are a little special or better than the rest.

Keep your chin up and don't take anything personally that has been sent to you, there are genuine guys out there and it's a shame that a small number spoil it for the rest.

You are a sexy lady and can have your pick, so ignore the idiots and enjoy the brighter side of fab.

Block, delete and report

Thank you wilt james for your feeback.

Sometimes it can be quite hurtful but like you said dont take it to heart. I will and am enjoying fabs and have made some wonderful friends which kinda balances out the nasty messages

so thankful for the block button.

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By *njamesMan over a year ago

Swindon

"Your profile is fairly clear and straight forward. It says exactly what yo are looking for and what you are not.

You do however get a small percentage of people on this site that think the criteria you set do not apply to them, as they believe they are a little special or better than the rest.

Keep your chin up and don't take anything personally that has been sent to you, there are genuine guys out there and it's a shame that a small number spoil it for the rest.

You are a sexy lady and can have your pick, so ignore the idiots and enjoy the brighter side of fab.

Block, delete and report

Thank you wilt james for your feeback.

Sometimes it can be quite hurtful but like you said dont take it to heart. I will and am enjoying fabs and have made some wonderful friends which kinda balances out the nasty messages

so thankful for the block button.

My pleasure and keep that sexy smile on show, don't let anyone put you down xx

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