FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you think alcohol makes you more confident in bed?
Do you think alcohol makes you more confident in bed?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was speaking to friend from my "real" life who has body confidence issues and was telling me she needs to be d*unk to sleep with her fwb.
There was a time pre-fab (and a little bit into it too) that I too had to be d*unk (or at the very least quite tipsy) to be able to have sex.
Now I have absolutely no problem getting straight down to it, but I think I owe a lot of that to being on here to be honest. I was always confident and had no problems pulling on nights out or dating apps before, but a lot of that was just façades and projection - and alcohol. I think the confidence is definitely more "real" now, and I think I'm actually a lot better in bed when I'm sober. Plus I can actually orgasm! 
I still enjoy a little glass of wine or two on meets, but I don't feel like I NEED it, which is great. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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No. Tipsy me is more accident prone, more oh god second guessing everything I do...
Sober me enjoys sex a lot more. Can remember it all. Actually orgasm. I rarely, if at all, drink during a dalliance. Maybe twice in nearly ten years but that was because we went for a meal beforehand both times. It's really difficult to orgasm after a few drinks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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D*unk no. That would result in me passing out on his bed.
Tipsy however, yes. If I've had a few glasses of bubbly I'll happily strip naked and put myself in all sorts of positions that I'd be self conscious about if I was sober  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't need booze to have sex and I get an immense amount of pleasure from sex when sober but I do find when I'm tipsy or d*unk I'm much more confident within myself. When I'm sober there's always a part of me that is thinking how awful I must look, but that little niggle disappears when I have had a drink and it's quite refreshing to completely let those thoughts go.
It's not something I'm particularly worried about as like I said ^ I don't feel like I NEED booze to have great sex but I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me a confidence boost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never sleep with someone who was d*unk. I rarely drink on meets as I prefer to be sober. If they wanted a glass or two then it’s no issue for me.
I think being sober always for maximum enjoyment from both sides.
I understand the confidence part but of I haven’t made them feel safe and confident in not being judged then I haven’t played my full part before the meet |
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I had a lot of shit d*unk sex in my 20s.
I prefer my sex sober these days unless I know someone really, really well.
I don't drink on meets with randoms. I don't need to drink to be able to fuck.
Alcohol impares my ability to orgasm too.
So it's a no ta from me
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Absolutely not. I used to think it gave me confidence, but I hate things that affect how I feel and think so went T Total again. I’m way more confident and clear without booze. It’s way more empowering being sober  |
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"No. Tipsy me is more accident prone, more oh god second guessing everything I do...
Sober me enjoys sex a lot more. Can remember it all. Actually orgasm. I rarely, if at all, drink during a dalliance. Maybe twice in nearly ten years but that was because we went for a meal beforehand both times. It's really difficult to orgasm after a few drinks!"
So glad it isn't just me on the orgasm thing Meli |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
There is one thing I always used to worry about sober was why didn't I check whether she had a cat? Having the confidence to say nah, I'll go home...
I'm really allergic to the friggers but it's not like you can take an antihistamine cos then you've got an upper.
I used to badly binge drink at the weekends....
Did it give me confidence. No, but I was always checking for brewers droop - if you know what I mean?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, I’ve tapped into my sexual side early on and I feel very confident in what I’ve got to offer and about my sexual energy. So I don’t need any Dutch courage to tap into it and I’m very free in bed 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. Tipsy me is more accident prone, more oh god second guessing everything I do...
Sober me enjoys sex a lot more. Can remember it all. Actually orgasm. I rarely, if at all, drink during a dalliance. Maybe twice in nearly ten years but that was because we went for a meal beforehand both times. It's really difficult to orgasm after a few drinks!"
Yep, no matter how hard I tried I could never orgasm while d*unk! Now I'm like an orgasm dispenser  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a introvert it just helps with general confidence when meeting up with people.
As for sex I'm not sure, I used to be very confident in the bedroom with or without alcohol a few years ago then the sex stopped and my confidence followed
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't drink so ... Nope.
At the start it was difficult without Dutch courage. Now I have a load more self confidence than ever... And also have discovered an exhibitionist streak... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I don't drink so ... Nope.
At the start it was difficult without Dutch courage. Now I have a load more self confidence than ever... And also have discovered an exhibitionist streak..."
Can I shave your back? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not d*unk bit need a few.Not very body confident at all but after a couple that melts away.  "
Are you serious? You both have great bodies!! 
Not trying to come on to you lol just genuinely surprised |
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i don't feel being d*unk is attractive so it wouldn't work for me
a few drinks to create a relaxed atmosphere is one thing, oils the wheels a bit, but full on bladdered, no thanks.
Chances are it won't be much fun trying to do it while plonkered. |
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I've never tasted alcohol in my life and have no intention of starting now so I can't say one way or the other if it has any effect on a person's libido or skills in the bedroom but I've always assumed it would have a negative effect.
I know lots of people with regrets related to encounters when under the influence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pre kink i wouldnt really have thought much about being d*unk in bed, but since discovering the world of BDSM the importance of consent, personal responsibility + awareness has made me reconsider whether alcohol has a place on play dates... I tend to have a glass of red wine after play
My body confidence +ease at being naked has grown with my exploration of the kink world and I've felt completely comfortable and accepted by my play partners to date |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not d*unk bit need a few.Not very body confident at all but after a couple that melts away.
Also just noticed we shop in the same place  "
Ahh thanks doent help were nit having much luck on here with meets. We di indeed.xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"D*unk no. That would result in me passing out on his bed.
Tipsy however, yes. If I've had a few glasses of bubbly I'll happily strip naked and put myself in all sorts of positions that I'd be self conscious about if I was sober "
Im sure i had a bottle of moet around here.  |
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"I hardly drink, yes it makes people more confident but it also makes them clumsy.
I'd have a couple of drinks on a meet but I wouldn't get d*unk "
. I’m the clumsiest person there is without a drink! |
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"I hardly drink, yes it makes people more confident but it also makes them clumsy.
I'd have a couple of drinks on a meet but I wouldn't get d*unk
. I’m the clumsiest person there is without a drink! "
I don't doubt it |
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I can’t finish if I have a bit of alcohol in my system, certainly d*unk or even tipsy I get hard but forget the rest.
So I generally stay away from alcohol even when I’m out dressed, if I think I’m going to get lucky later.
If I’m not feeling it, then drink plenty and be Merry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I gave up drinking a few years ago, though I do have a glass of wine from time to time (once every few months, or so).
I would never drink on a fab meet. I’m tired enough as it is and alcohol just puts me in a stupor and literally kills my libido.
I have no issue with anyone drinking, but sex with a d*unk person doesn’t feel hedonistic - it just feels shit. Disconnected, fuzzy, lacking intimacy, dulls the senses.
Pass
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To put this into perspective, some people think a couple of drinks makes them better car drivers in reality this isn’t the case and can end in tragedy, also I’ve seen lots of fellow tgirls who won’t set foot out in public unless they are intoxicated, I don’t have such problems and prefer to stay sober when I’m “Paula” as it can impare judgement and compromise my safety and well-being |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To put this into perspective, some people think a couple of drinks makes them better car drivers in reality this isn’t the case and can end in tragedy, also I’ve seen lots of fellow tgirls who won’t set foot out in public unless they are intoxicated, I don’t have such problems and prefer to stay sober when I’m “Paula” as it can impare judgement and compromise my safety and well-being "
Genuine question : does your safety feel less compromised when you’re not Paula and have had a drink??
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No.
I used to feel I needed beer to have any confidence, but over the last few months I've stuck to 0% beer (which is surprisingly good).
The odd thing is it still relaxes me and seems to boost my confidence, without me getting d*unk, and having all the issues that alcohol can cause. I'm loving it.
Though, I do have to admit, occasionally I miss that slightly tipsy feeling. |
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"I gave up drinking a few years ago, though I do have a glass of wine from time to time (once every few months, or so).
I would never drink on a fab meet. I’m tired enough as it is and alcohol just puts me in a stupor and literally kills my libido.
I have no issue with anyone drinking, but sex with a d*unk person doesn’t feel hedonistic - it just feels shit. Disconnected, fuzzy, lacking intimacy, dulls the senses.
Pass
"
I agree with sex with a d*unk person feeling shit. Plus, I wouldn't want to anyway as it would feel like I'm taking advantage of them, even if sex had been pre-planned. |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
My fave sex is sober actually, in the daytime/morning. Fully present and freshly tingly.
But oh my goodness, there has been such fun and hilarity and bonkersness in the altered state times.
It's all good to me. Im lucky yo be pretty confident either way but I have heard many friends say they need a boost from alcohol.
That's not very sustainably healthy.. something to be addressed I think.
X
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"I was speaking to friend from my "real" life who has body confidence issues and was telling me she needs to be d*unk to sleep with her fwb.
There was a time pre-fab (and a little bit into it too) that I too had to be d*unk (or at the very least quite tipsy) to be able to have sex.
Now I have absolutely no problem getting straight down to it, but I think I owe a lot of that to being on here to be honest. I was always confident and had no problems pulling on nights out or dating apps before, but a lot of that was just façades and projection - and alcohol. I think the confidence is definitely more "real" now, and I think I'm actually a lot better in bed when I'm sober. Plus I can actually orgasm!
I still enjoy a little glass of wine or two on meets, but I don't feel like I NEED it, which is great."
I don't need it but I do like a glass of prosecco before the evening.. Or occasion.
If I'm quite tipsy tho I'm much more likely to have anal sex
I'm more relaxed so the whole thing works out better |
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"To put this into perspective, some people think a couple of drinks makes them better car drivers in reality this isn’t the case and can end in tragedy, also I’ve seen lots of fellow tgirls who won’t set foot out in public unless they are intoxicated, I don’t have such problems and prefer to stay sober when I’m “Paula” as it can impare judgement and compromise my safety and well-being
Genuine question : does your safety feel less compromised when you’re not Paula and have had a drink??
"
I don’t go out much in male mode tbh apart from music gigs I’ve always felt safe even though I’ve been to some dodgy venues one place I feel intimidated is Cardiff it’s a very scary place |
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