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What did I do wrong?????
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.
He saw me as i walked past the pub he was stood outside of & made a derogatory comment about the length of my skirt which i ignored. Next thing i knew he was following me making even more comments ref how i looked. I crossed the road & he followed & i even sped up a bit but he just ran too.
This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!
I just ran like fuck with him following me till i got to the Asda carpark which was well lit, by now my skirt had ridden up way too far showing pretty much everything which made this guy even more aggressive till one of the Asda vans drove past & slowed right down which seemed to scare him off!
I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".
What else could i have done??????
Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh goodness how awful.
You absolutely did nothing wrong and even if you chose to walk down the road in your underwear it doesn't give anyone the right to frighten you or be abusive.
Glad you weren't hurt though but please report it to the police as the next person may not be so lucky x |
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Terrifying. Easy to say from the comfort of home but where you went wrong was in failing to administer a swift and painful boot to his bollocks. When a guy is writhing in agony on the ground it’s then very easy to follow up with a stamp to the face. Not advocating violence in any way of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to report this to the police. Even though the attack wasn't physical, next time it could be.
I'm sorry that, that had to happen to you, people are dicks sometimes.
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could you not report to the police as a hate crime.
I'm sure he would have been caught on CCTV at some point.
It's so sad that we still have people like that in this world !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jeezo....thats really grim
As above, report to the 5-0 as could have gone the other way and next person in this guys crosshairs may not be so lucky
Lucky...hell,being able to walk about safely should never be about luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please report to the police, next time he could do more.
Im sorry this has happened to you. It is not acceptable in any way and you have done nothing wrong x |
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You have to report as difficult as that maybe
But if he thinks he has got away with it he will definitely do it again with really serious consequences
I would have thought there was cctv in the car park
Feeling for you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are alot of ignorant people around and you did not deserve this. I would have gone into Asda and phoned a friend to come and collect me."
They were closed |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
It's very important you don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong at all. It's really important you report it to the police though because you might be saving somebody a worse situation.
I'm sorry this happened to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You did nothing wrong op
Sorry you had to go though this
I always say my clothes are not my consent
If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying
I would phone them police
If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to
And op if the worst comes to the worst
A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys |
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Yeah report to the police. It's weird behaviour. I know it didn't go well when he discovered you were trans and it took a turn, but could have went worse if you were the type of woman he was after.
They might be able to pick him up on the pub CCTV.
In future, make sure you have your phone. Pepper spray. R alarm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m so sorry that that happened to you, sound totally terrifying !! Jesus, try to report it and see if there are ways to find out who he is x let the police handle it
I can’t believe some people are still like that… |
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The only person who did wrong is the guy.
I agree that reporting to the police is a good idea. However if the same thing happens to another person before you do or if you feel unable to the responsibility *still* lies solely with him. Your actions have nothing to do with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op this is a matter for the police. That kind of intimidating and aggressive behaviour is abhorrent. You should speak to your local dibble and make a statement.
As for being in the wrong quite simply you were not. You have every right to go about your lawful business. How you choose to dress or your manner of appearance has nothing to do with anyone. |
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You did nothing wrong. Dressing a certain way does not give someone the right to comment on your appearance.
If you were in a residential area or near an open shop you could maybe have knocked on a door and asked for assistance.
I'm sorry you had to experience this, I would definitely report to the police. I hope you're ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You did nothing wrong op
Sorry you had to go though this
I always say my clothes are not my consent
If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying
I would phone them police
If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to
And op if the worst comes to the worst
A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys "
If someone approaches from behind, it would be pretty difficult to pull that off |
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You did nothing wrong. The guy is an arsehole.
It doesn't matter what you were wearing it doesn't give anyone the right to treat you like that.
Please report this as the next person he picks on might not be lucky enough to get away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You did nothing wrong op
Sorry you had to go though this
I always say my clothes are not my consent
If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying
I would phone them police
If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to
And op if the worst comes to the worst
A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys
If someone approaches from behind, it would be pretty difficult to pull that off"
Pull your elbow up and pull it back these a reason MMA has some rules no shots to the nads and can’t punch in the throat |
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"The only person who did wrong is the guy.
I agree that reporting to the police is a good idea. However if the same thing happens to another person before you do or if you feel unable to the responsibility *still* lies solely with him. Your actions have nothing to do with it."
Spot on. |
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"You did nothing wrong op
Sorry you had to go though this
I always say my clothes are not my consent
If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying
I would phone them police
If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to
And op if the worst comes to the worst
A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys
If someone approaches from behind, it would be pretty difficult to pull that off
Pull your elbow up and pull it back these a reason MMA has some rules no shots to the nads and can’t punch in the throat "
Can just add that giving anyone self defence advice online is terrible advice and can absolutely make things worse.
Physically defending yourself is bottom of the list. Do everything you can in your power to stop it before you get to that point.
That means running, screaming, banging on any nearby houses/shops you can find. Offer them your phone, wallet, bag, whatever.
The absolute last call should be trying to defend yourself and offering that kinda advice online puts people at risk and can make the situation worse |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"The only person who did wrong is the guy.
I agree that reporting to the police is a good idea. However if the same thing happens to another person before you do or if you feel unable to the responsibility *still* lies solely with him. Your actions have nothing to do with it."
Absolutely this.
Sorry this happened to you OP. It shouldn't have. |
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I hope you're ok OP that must have been frightening.
You did nothing wrong, it's something that unfortunately happens. It's the reason I'm paranoid and always carry my phone on me when I'm outdoors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.
He saw me as i walked past the pub he was stood outside of & made a derogatory comment about the length of my skirt which i ignored. Next thing i knew he was following me making even more comments ref how i looked. I crossed the road & he followed & i even sped up a bit but he just ran too.
This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!
I just ran like fuck with him following me till i got to the Asda carpark which was well lit, by now my skirt had ridden up way too far showing pretty much everything which made this guy even more aggressive till one of the Asda vans drove past & slowed right down which seemed to scare him off!
I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".
What else could i have done??????
Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible "
Sorry you experienced this. I hope you’re doing as well as you can be today. Have you thought about buying an attack alarm? It’s awful to think we should have to even consider buying one, but, just to hopefully make you feel a safer xx |
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"Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.
He saw me as i walked past the pub he was stood outside of & made a derogatory comment about the length of my skirt which i ignored. Next thing i knew he was following me making even more comments ref how i looked. I crossed the road & he followed & i even sped up a bit but he just ran too.
This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!
I just ran like fuck with him following me till i got to the Asda carpark which was well lit, by now my skirt had ridden up way too far showing pretty much everything which made this guy even more aggressive till one of the Asda vans drove past & slowed right down which seemed to scare him off!
I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".
What else could i have done??????
Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible "
You did absolutely nothing wrong at all. But you should report it to the police, if not for yourself but for others |
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Hi Op
This has happened to me in the past guys following me as i left a club. Two lads standing in front of me as I was trying to get to a cab office, another one trying to push me down a back street. A d*unken guy in a pub having a rant at me over being in a gay venue dressed. You have to deal with the situation the best way you can, however violence is the last thing you should do.
If you’re not trained in self defence, hits to Adam’s apple or kicking someone in the balls you’re most likely going to miss or not hit hard enough. You only do that if he’s actually attacking you and there’s no way of escaping.
Get to a public space, yelling and screaming if you have to, in the guys face if he approaches you or gets into your personal space.
Then report it to the Police as soon as possible.
In 20 years of going out in public I can count on one hand truly scary moments whilst I was dressed. So don’t let this put you off, you have a right to wear what you want and go about your business without getting hassled.
Sending love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, this is awful and you did absolutely nothing wrong. Hope you're feeling okay today xx
If the ASDA car park had cameras you should report to the police ASAP. This guy shouldn't be allowed on the streets. |
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You did nothing wrong OP, the guy who followed was.
I have to agree with other replies, this need reporting to the Police. He may do it again but take things further. Someone else could get harassed by the same man.
Sorry this happened to you x. |
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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
You did nothing wrong and under no circumstances should anybody have to succumb to this kind of abuse...
Some lesser humans don't need reason. I was walking home from school in my teens, walked through an alley off of a busy high street and was then sexually assaulted by a bloke... it takes all sorts of low life and those with mental issues, so never judge yourself on it! X |
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You didn't do anything wrong and 100% the complete and utter twats fault but sadly way to much of it happening now and way to many blame "Themselves" and as most will tell you it is never ever ever about anything other than "Power" or a sense of "Entitlement " or even "Low self esteem" or a combo but still no excuse for what he did at all and so get yourself along to the Police and report his sorry excuse for a man ass and as the next time someone might not be so lucky but sorry to read your post as must have been scary as hell and please please don't blame yourself as someone who has alreasdy written upto you 100% what you choose to wear or not wear and way to many sad little men out there and even on this site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd get yourself a n alarm and maybe pepper spray ... just for your peace of mind"
Er not the pepper spray, that's an offensive weapon, you can't walk around with that 'just in case' in this country I'm afraid. |
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"Terrifying. Easy to say from the comfort of home but where you went wrong was in failing to administer a swift and painful boot to his bollocks. When a guy is writhing in agony on the ground it’s then very easy to follow up with a stamp to the face. Not advocating violence in any way of course. "
I can’t agree with that. What if you miss ... could make a bad situation a lot worse very quickly.
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"Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.
He saw me as i walked past the pub he was stood outside of & made a derogatory comment about the length of my skirt which i ignored. Next thing i knew he was following me making even more comments ref how i looked. I crossed the road & he followed & i even sped up a bit but he just ran too.
This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!
I just ran like fuck with him following me till i got to the Asda carpark which was well lit, by now my skirt had ridden up way too far showing pretty much everything which made this guy even more aggressive till one of the Asda vans drove past & slowed right down which seemed to scare him off!
I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".
What else could i have done??????
Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible "
As others have said, please report this. Report it to the police. Report it to Asda in case they have any security footage and report it to the pub he was outside in case they have any footage. |
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"I'd get yourself a n alarm and maybe pepper spray ... just for your peace of mind
Er not the pepper spray, that's an offensive weapon, you can't walk around with that 'just in case' in this country I'm afraid. "
You can use "Safehaus Self Defence Spray" which is a legal alternative. |
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"I'd get yourself a n alarm and maybe pepper spray ... just for your peace of mind
Er not the pepper spray, that's an offensive weapon, you can't walk around with that 'just in case' in this country I'm afraid.
You can use "Safehaus Self Defence Spray" which is a legal alternative. " yes...stay legal ..but feel safer |
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