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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My fiancée decided to call time on our relationship a week ago. We had been together for just under 2 years, this is the third (and final) time she has called things off. The break up is not acrimonious, we said we would remain firm friends. Fine, no problems. Except I have a pair of tickets for an event coming up next week which she knows about.
I have a lady friend who I have known for about five years and lives in another town, yes they do know about each other and it's never been a problem, and during a phone chat the other day she asked how things were between me and my then fiancée. I told her what had happened and amongst other things I said about the tickets. Yes, a mistake I know. She said I'd be needing a lady to accompany me then and left it there. I didn't pursue the matter either but she obviously wants to go with me.
So fantastic fabbers, what do I do? Which lady do I take with me? My ex or my long time friend? Or do I go on my own, which I don't really want to do but may be the best option. Or not go and have a made up explanation why I didn't go on my own?
Over to you good people.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're single, you do as you please.
Would you rather spend the moment with the ex, possibly hoping to sort things out, or are you ready for moving on? Not necessarily with another but in the sense of letting go. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take ur friend x
U need time to give urself a break from ur ex and let it breathe in order to maybe be friends in the future x "
Thank you. A friend has said just this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're single, you do as you please.
Would you rather spend the moment with the ex, possibly hoping to sort things out, or are you ready for moving on? Not necessarily with another but in the sense of letting go."
I wouldn't want to try make a go of things again with ex. We've already decided on that. Yes, I'm letting go.
Time to move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have questions.
Who did you agree to take when you bought the tickets?
Why would you have to make up an excuse if you didn't go?
"
My ex was the one going with me. As for excuses I see where you're coming from. |
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Is the ex expecting to go?
Were they bought as a gift? If so by who, for who?
Are they seated tickets or standing so could you split between the both of you?
Did you buy them together, 8fvsi sell the ticket to your friend and reimburse your ex?
If you are planning to remain friends, why can't you take your ex? |
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"I have questions.
Who did you agree to take when you bought the tickets?
Why would you have to make up an excuse if you didn't go?
My ex was the one going with me. As for excuses I see where you're coming from."
Ok, well the way I see it I'd you split amicably, you agreed to go with your ex do she's the one you take. If you don't want to and you think taking the other lady would cause problems, take a man friend. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you bought the tickets for the ex then maybe offer to give her the tickets to go and if she doesn’t want to then the tickets are yours to take who you want…
K"
Good suggestion. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If your ex knows about the tickets and the breakup is totally amicable surely she is expecting to go with you. "
I see where you're coming from but she did say that she wants to be on her own and that she doesn't want anything more from me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is the ex expecting to go?
Were they bought as a gift? If so by who, for who?
Are they seated tickets or standing so could you split between the both of you?
Did you buy them together, 8fvsi sell the ticket to your friend and reimburse your ex?
If you are planning to remain friends, why can't you take your ex? "
I bought the tickets as a surprise because the event, Ladies Day at the races, is something she and wanted to go to and never been.
To take her would be nice as it would be a wish fulfilled. We are friends now but at the moment she has cooled things right down, not wanting to do as much as we used to. |
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"Is the ex expecting to go?
Were they bought as a gift? If so by who, for who?
Are they seated tickets or standing so could you split between the both of you?
Did you buy them together, 8fvsi sell the ticket to your friend and reimburse your ex?
If you are planning to remain friends, why can't you take your ex?
I bought the tickets as a surprise because the event, Ladies Day at the races, is something she and wanted to go to and never been.
To take her would be nice as it would be a wish fulfilled. We are friends now but at the moment she has cooled things right down, not wanting to do as much as we used to. "
Ask her what she would like to do and go with that |
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"Is the ex expecting to go?
Were they bought as a gift? If so by who, for who?
Are they seated tickets or standing so could you split between the both of you?
Did you buy them together, 8fvsi sell the ticket to your friend and reimburse your ex?
If you are planning to remain friends, why can't you take your ex?
I bought the tickets as a surprise because the event, Ladies Day at the races, is something she and wanted to go to and never been.
To take her would be nice as it would be a wish fulfilled. We are friends now but at the moment she has cooled things right down, not wanting to do as much as we used to. "
If you bought them as a surprise for her as its something she hs always wanted to go to don't you think it would be a kick in the teeth for you to kow take another lady, even if she is 'just a friend'?
You don't have to speak to her, just drop the tickets off to her and hope she has a nice day out. |
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"My fiancée decided to call time on our relationship a week ago. We had been together for just under 2 years, this is the third (and final) time she has called things off. The break up is not acrimonious, we said we would remain firm friends. Fine, no problems. Except I have a pair of tickets for an event coming up next week which she knows about.
I have a lady friend who I have known for about five years and lives in another town, yes they do know about each other and it's never been a problem, and during a phone chat the other day she asked how things were between me and my then fiancée. I told her what had happened and amongst other things I said about the tickets. Yes, a mistake I know. She said I'd be needing a lady to accompany me then and left it there. I didn't pursue the matter either but she obviously wants to go with me.
So fantastic fabbers, what do I do? Which lady do I take with me? My ex or my long time friend? Or do I go on my own, which I don't really want to do but may be the best option. Or not go and have a made up explanation why I didn't go on my own?
Over to you good people.
"
Clearly the five years of friend ship are you hesitant because taking them might upset the ex. ?
Under two years and she’s broken your heart 3 times already .. this is going to sound harsh but … mate don’t afford people second chance .. I know “ every one deserves a second chance’ but all your doing is affording them the opportunity to fu*k you over again .
Take the friend they seem a little more committed to you , sorry bud . Best wishes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lots of thoughtful input as always and it is all very much appreciated. Thank you all.
On balance I think I shall take my long standing friend, who has always been there for me whenever I've had hard times and stood by me.
At least she isn't a heart breaker. |
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If the fiance was supposed to be going before. And you're going to stay friends. I'd have a conversation and feel it out with her. If she still wants to go and it wouldn't be too weird I'd still fulfil that commitment.
If she's not keen I'd say that no problem and that someone else is interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you and the ex are definitely over then don't take her.
If you think you'll enjoy the evening with your other female friend then go for it. If not then ask someone else. "
We are definitely over this time.
I'll be going with my long time friend. |
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