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By *londeCaz OP Woman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Woke up this morning positive it was Thursday, picked the paper up - Friday...checked my phone - Friday...turned Breakfast TV on - Friday...what the feck happened to Thursday. Right there and then I decided never again to wash down my valium and co-codamol with 4 litres of "White Lightening" (£1.99 per bottle, only 47 units of alcohol in each litre)
Safely ensconsed in front of the lappie with an industrial sized bucket of coffee I ventured onto Fab to see if it was actually the cider or whether Funky had been messing with the space/time continuum and we'd all lost a day...what do I find - that ARSEWIPE TOSSPOT BlondeDaz managed to find and exploit my weakness (4 litres of White Lightening and the Thursday vibe) to take over my mind and body for an entire day, even going so far as to load his own attempt at a cock pic using MY double ender and MY sky remote!
Imagine my extra horror and shame when I discovered he'd posted a thread on the forum maligning my character and touching on many banned Thursday rant subjects 
I am just awaiting the local Shaman, catholic priest, CofE vicar and head of the WI and we are going to attempt an exorcism to banish this imposter to the depths of my colon as I'm due to have another 35 gallons of water flushed through there next week and if we get him into it, he'll be heading into the water treatment plant from there and I'll be well rid of him.
Sincere apologies to anyone he may have insulted yesterday, I can't bring myself to read in full any threads that my unwitting fingers typed onto yesterday, I only hope you understand I had no control over what was happening.
Can I also assure anyone who bumps into me at the Manchester Social on Saturday that it will be Caz in full charge of her faculties (well, as near full charge as I ever am in the presence of alcohol)  |
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