Too much waffle, needs to be more concise and the paragraph in capitals is unnecessary... just block men from messaging you.
You also mean utmost not upmost. Upmost means highest on a list.
It won't do any harm, to double check your punctuation and grammar too.
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Reads well. Personally, I think it's a bit long. I'd also lose the stuff about being straight and just block single men. You'd come across less whiney if you did that.
The Dom bit also doesn't sit right for me. You may have a naturally dominant personality, but that does mean you can 'dom' every woman that comes your way.
But as I said, they are just personal nitpicks. On the whole it reads well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Reads well. Personally, I think it's a bit long. I'd also lose the stuff about being straight and just block single men. You'd come across less whiney if you did that.
The Dom bit also doesn't sit right for me. You may have a naturally dominant personality, but that does mean you can 'dom' every woman that comes your way.
But as I said, they are just personal nitpicks. On the whole it reads well."
These are what I need. Thank you.
I am going to give it a full rewrite |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Too much waffle, needs to be more concise and the paragraph in capitals is unnecessary... just block men from messaging you.
You also mean utmost not upmost. Upmost means highest on a list.
It won't do any harm, to double check your punctuation and grammar too.
"
Thank you. What do you mean by too much waffle? What parts would you class as waffle? |
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"Too much waffle, needs to be more concise and the paragraph in capitals is unnecessary... just block men from messaging you.
You also mean utmost not upmost. Upmost means highest on a list.
It won't do any harm, to double check your punctuation and grammar too.
Thank you. What do you mean by too much waffle? What parts would you class as waffle?"
You're using 10 words, where 3 would be sufficient.
People don't need a life story, just an overview of what you're seeking and can offer. Humour helps too.
Women do read profiles, but yours is likely to be more than even avid readers will want to tackle. It's about 3 pages long on a mobile phone. I would aim for about a third of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually wouldn't have gotten past the pics but it was kind of ok... Unfortunately I stopped reading as soon as I hit "I am a dom"... I always do tho, it just prevents me reading any further, like hitting a barrier... I think it may be a con dom!
Sorry... My son sent me a fathers day card again n now I can't help myself!  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I usually wouldn't have gotten past the pics but it was kind of ok... Unfortunately I stopped reading as soon as I hit "I am a dom"... I always do tho, it just prevents me reading any further, like hitting a barrier... I think it may be a con dom!
Sorry... My son sent me a fathers day card again n now I can't help myself! "
This!
Good profile and better than one liner.
But reserve the dom bit for when you speak/ write to people perhaps. Without wanting to patronise, it is also a bit difficult to accept from somebody so young. Not saying you are not or cant be but I would not put it in the profile for now.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It starts "I am a Electrical and Electronic Engineering".
Sorry. Corrected it. Was meant to say student haha
Also should say "an" not "a""
Probs not the best idea to be doing this after a 12hr shift haha. I'm not this bad at English promise haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree with others who've said it's too long. A good rule is to cut it down to a phone screen length or so, keep it concise 
LvM"
Thank you. Should I do a full rewrite or just snip it?
I've always been really bad with BIOS for everything |
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"I agree with others who've said it's too long. A good rule is to cut it down to a phone screen length or so, keep it concise
LvM
Thank you. Should I do a full rewrite or just snip it?
I've always been really bad with BIOS for everything"
You could probably get away with deleting everything in the "extras" to be honest.
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree with others who've said it's too long. A good rule is to cut it down to a phone screen length or so, keep it concise
LvM
Thank you. Should I do a full rewrite or just snip it?
I've always been really bad with BIOS for everything
You could probably get away with deleting everything in the "extras" to be honest.
LvM"
Thank you. I did think that was a it cringy |
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