FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > They message 1st, you reply then they delete?!
They message 1st, you reply then they delete?!
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I’ve had this situation happen quite often, It tends to be couple profiles. They message first, then once they have read my reply they delete. I struggle to understand the logic behind this practice, is it cold feet or fake profiles?? Has anyone else experienced this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing is on here ear that's just the Way It Is I literally get people who love you my profile they will fab one of my pictures I then send a message to them to say thank you to try and get the conversation flowing and then they just delete my message it's like ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, I’ve had it happen.
A couple sent me a one-liner, devoid of imagination, to which I replied with a couple of paragraphs as we’re sold as being the ‘Fab Way’.
Read, but quickly deleted.
Women and couples hold the power here, they can afford to be picky and are under no obligation to reply, as per site rules.
This is Fab. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Yeah, I’ve had it happen.
A couple sent me a one-liner, devoid of imagination, to which I replied with a couple of paragraphs as we’re sold as being the ‘Fab Way’.
Read, but quickly deleted.
Women and couples hold the power here, they can afford to be picky and are under no obligation to reply, as per site rules.
This is Fab."
Everyone has the power to be picky, not just women and couples.
Why did you reply to a one liner devoid of imagination? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes you can put the effort into a message to someone and they come back with the most basic,short or boring reply, usually this is an indication of how the rest of the chat will go so I would delete. Not saying this is what happened here but that's why I would delete  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, I’ve had it happen.
A couple sent me a one-liner, devoid of imagination, to which I replied with a couple of paragraphs as we’re sold as being the ‘Fab Way’.
Read, but quickly deleted.
Women and couples hold the power here, they can afford to be picky and are under no obligation to reply, as per site rules.
This is Fab.
Everyone has the power to be picky, not just women and couples.
Why did you reply to a one liner devoid of imagination?"
Some people will genuinely struggle to write stuff; I thought I’d at least give them a chance….. in hindsight it was probably hoping a little too much. |
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Believing others have more powers or hold a higher ground than you is the road to ruin on FAB.
What some have is more choice in terms of mail received but that doesn’t mean they have a better choice.
All you can do is make sure you stand out in the sea of people. Make it hard for people to ignore you. Get a profile that rocks their world.
FAB is fickle - everyone knows that. By making yourself better instead of moaning about missed opportunities then the next opportunity will come around quicker and soon you’ll be as picky.
K |
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"Sometimes you can put the effort into a message to someone and they come back with the most basic,short or boring reply, usually this is an indication of how the rest of the chat will go so I would delete. Not saying this is what happened here but that's why I would delete "
That’s the thing, I take my time when replying to messages. I’m not a one liner, I do tend to take my time with a well thought out reply. Oh well, it’s their loss. Just makes me think if they are actually from real profiles, as I’m finding more and more fake profiles now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only message others who I think I could actually be compatible with, so I haven't messaged many on here yet. I sent a message a week or so ago, was a paragraph, got a "sounds good" in response. What am I supposed to do with that |
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By *l MateMan
over a year ago
Sheffield Centre |
"Sometimes you can put the effort into a message to someone and they come back with the most basic,short or boring reply, usually this is an indication of how the rest of the chat will go so I would delete. Not saying this is what happened here but that's why I would delete "
I'm guilty of this, but I see the first message as breaking the ice. I don't want to be too graphic with the first message because that can look fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is on here ear that's just the Way It Is I literally get people who love you my profile they will fab one of my pictures I then send a message to them to say thank you to try and get the conversation flowing and then they just delete my message it's like ok"
Just because someone fabs one of your pics it doesn’t meant they love your profile.
One of the reasons ladies don’t fab pics so often is because the minute you do it can trigger unwanted messaging thinking you fancy them.  |
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"Surely if they send the 1st message/wink, that is them signaling their interest. If my reply also shows interest, why delete my message? "
Because for whatever reason they have decided to.
OP you are going to tie yourself up in knots worrying about it. It happens to everyone. Dust yourself down and move on |
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"Surely if they send the 1st message/wink, that is them signaling their interest. If my reply also shows interest, why delete my message?
Because for whatever reason they have decided to.
OP you are going to tie yourself up in knots worrying about it. It happens to everyone. Dust yourself down and move on"
I’m ok, honestly. It’s just a topic of debate, and wanted to see if others have had the same experience. No need to dust myself down but thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is on here ear that's just the Way It Is I literally get people who love you my profile they will fab one of my pictures I then send a message to them to say thank you to try and get the conversation flowing and then they just delete my message it's like ok
Just because someone fabs one of your pics it doesn’t meant they love your profile.
One of the reasons ladies don’t fab pics so often is because the minute you do it can trigger unwanted messaging thinking you fancy them. "
Keep it on the thread please.
Just because I answer you on here doesn’t mean I want a conversation in private about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely if they send the 1st message/wink, that is them signaling their interest. If my reply also shows interest, why delete my message? "
Not really. It could easily have been the husband that sent a message first, then latter that day the wife reads the message exchange. She looks at your profile and simply decides your not for her.
It happens all the time on FAB........just move on. |
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"I’ve had this situation happen quite often, It tends to be couple profiles. They message first, then once they have read my reply they delete. I struggle to understand the logic behind this practice, is it cold feet or fake profiles?? Has anyone else experienced this?"
It's perfectly possible that they sent out quite a few messages, waited for all the replies, decided on the one(s) they prefered and just deleted the rest. That having been said, if we ever messaged someone, received a reply and then decided against it, we'd have the decency to explain that. |
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Everyone has the power to be picky, not just women and couples.
Why did you reply to a one liner devoid of imagination?"
Quite. We get crass one liners from guys who don't match our profile all the time. We'd never do that and don't feel obliged to reply to them. |
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"I’ve had this situation happen quite often, It tends to be couple profiles. They message first, then once they have read my reply they delete. I struggle to understand the logic behind this practice, is it cold feet or fake profiles?? Has anyone else experienced this?
It's perfectly possible that they sent out quite a few messages, waited for all the replies, decided on the one(s) they prefered and just deleted the rest. That having been said, if we ever messaged someone, received a reply and then decided against it, we'd have the decency to explain that."
Thank you, that’s makes sense. I think it’s the face they delete my replies that make no sense. But hey, each to their own. I’m certainly not losing sleep over it. It was just a topic of discussion. |
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"I’ve had this situation happen quite often, It tends to be couple profiles. They message first, then once they have read my reply they delete. I struggle to understand the logic behind this practice, is it cold feet or fake profiles?? Has anyone else experienced this?
It's perfectly possible that they sent out quite a few messages, waited for all the replies, decided on the one(s) they prefered and just deleted the rest. That having been said, if we ever messaged someone, received a reply and then decided against it, we'd have the decency to explain that.
Thank you, that’s makes sense. I think it’s the face they delete my replies that make no sense. But hey, each to their own. I’m certainly not losing sleep over it. It was just a topic of discussion."
That's the best way. Men vastly outnumber females/couples here so it's never going to be easy for single guys.
As regards deleting mail, active females and couples get loads of messages every day. Trawling through them all quickly becomes unmanageable so it's easy to wind up simply deleting loads of them. That may be what's happened to you on some occasions. We try to reply to all proper messages we get but may sometimes miss a few. To the senders of those messages it might seem plain rudeness when when in fact it was just an oversight.
Stay positive! 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It happens dude may not like it but there's nothing you can do so just move on thing about fab is people treat it like a dating app when it is not "
It may not be a dating app but it's not an escort app either
The whole point of messaging is to see if the other party and yourself are compatible.
It's not a sex free for all. If people decide not to continue a conversation, that is their choice. |
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I understand that we all have a choice to reply or not. Maybe people are misunderstanding my forum post or think I’m upset for not getting a reply. Me personally, I wouldn’t make the initial contact with someone then delete their reply if they was equally as interested as suggested in my initial contact. I only message people that I think I’d get along with.
After reading your replies on the forum, I agree that people can change their minds, or other half of a couple may not be interested. I have found that there are a lot of profiles who have recently joined, and may have change of hearts when it comes to meets. I respect all people and understand there are many different people looking for as many different things. |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
The thing I find odd about messages. Female , couples. Say loads of mail received etc. I do not send many. Only if yes, on profile that have common theme for mine and their profile. So each message individual . Each message different. Some yes read , deleted or a reply. Others read . No reply. But not deleted. I know no reply means not interested. My thought is my message along with others still in their inbox. Why not just delete. So less mail in inbox. ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing I find odd about messages. Female , couples. Say loads of mail received etc. I do not send many. Only if yes, on profile that have common theme for mine and their profile. So each message individual . Each message different. Some yes read , deleted or a reply. Others read . No reply. But not deleted. I know no reply means not interested. My thought is my message along with others still in their inbox. Why not just delete. So less mail in inbox. ? "
I guess sometimes it can be an ego trip to see all those messages in your inbox?
Or if you're not a site supporter it can help see if that person's messaged you before.
Or they could keep it in their inbox if they're not sure about you yet and want some time to decide.
Could be many reasons why. |
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"The thing I find odd about messages. Female , couples. Say loads of mail received etc. I do not send many. Only if yes, on profile that have common theme for mine and their profile. So each message individual . Each message different. Some yes read , deleted or a reply. Others read . No reply. But not deleted. I know no reply means not interested. My thought is my message along with others still in their inbox. Why not just delete. So less mail in inbox. ?
I guess sometimes it can be an ego trip to see all those messages in your inbox?
Or if you're not a site supporter it can help see if that person's messaged you before.
Or they could keep it in their inbox if they're not sure about you yet and want some time to decide.
Could be many reasons why. "
All very true… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had this situation happen quite often, It tends to be couple profiles. They message first, then once they have read my reply they delete. I struggle to understand the logic behind this practice, is it cold feet or fake profiles?? Has anyone else experienced this?"
Don't reply to them,that'll teach 'em  |
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