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By *oppet22 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
huddersfield |
Just seen a girl must have only been about 12 13 walking down street in very short skirt not hiding anything from view fishnet stcocking low cut top would you let your kids out dressed like that i do worry when i see girls dressed like that as there lots of men out there that would try to take advantage of them or even worse just my thoughts on it i would never let them out dressed like that sorry for been old fashion |
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"Just seen a girl must have only been about 12 13 walking down street in very short skirt not hiding anything from view fishnet stcocking low cut top would you let your kids out dressed like that i do worry when i see girls dressed like that as there lots of men out there that would try to take advantage of them or even worse just my thoughts on it i would never let them out dressed like that sorry for been old fashion "
No I wouldn't |
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Not a mum but I have a hunch you're adding poetic license for dramatic effect lol
Girls have worn mini skirts for years.... I doubt it was all hanging out.
Fishnet and whale net tights are very popular amongst goth/alt/emo culture.
Your post just indicates societies insistence that women am for it, not that men need to control themselves. |
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"Not a mum but I have a hunch you're adding poetic license for dramatic effect lol
Girls have worn mini skirts for years.... I doubt it was all hanging out.
Fishnet and whale net tights are very popular amongst goth/alt/emo culture.
Your post just indicates societies insistence that women am for it, not that men need to control themselves. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of the things I wore at that age were shocking. My mum knew nothing about it as I would hide in my school bag and put it on at my friends house. I think if she looked that young most men would have the sense to avoid. |
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By *oppet22 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
huddersfield |
90% of men can and do control but when i see a girl like that alone it worrys me a bit thats all am saying not that am ageist it at all everyone to there own on how they dress is just a question and yes you could see her knickers thats how short it was |
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"90% of men can and do control but when i see a girl like that alone it worrys me a bit thats all am saying not that am ageist it at all everyone to there own on how they dress is just a question and yes you could see her knickers thats how short it was "
So are you saying that the sight of a child's knickers will make men do things but if the girl doesn't show skin the man won't do anything ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a mum to 4 girls and a nan to 2 granddaughters and they wore short skirts! X"
Me too, when I was a girl mini skirts were back in fashion big time xx |
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This is where I get on my high horse.
I don’t think I would like my child to wear that however it is there choice and I’m sure I have worn some questionable outfits in my youth .
Clothing is just that, clothing. It’s a way to express yourself. Things can happen to people of different genders wearing a variety of outfits including normal oversized stuff.
It’s down the the person that is looking to realise they are way to young and not objective them like that. But again that goes for all ages. What you wear does not give anyone the right to think anything
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd discourage it as I know what men are like. But, when she's old enough and wants to express herself and experiment with her style then there's not much I can do about it. I'd just make sure she's aware of how people may view her and the dangers that come with that.
What that girl was wearing really is not an issue but the way you and others are looking at her is what the real issue is here. |
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Absolutly not. We used to live in the usa and i was horrified what the girls were wearing at the middle school prom - so 13/14
Some of them looked like streetwalkers. What were their moms thinking!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd discourage it as I know what men are like. But, when she's old enough and wants to express herself and experiment with her style then there's not much I can do about it. I'd just make sure she's aware of how people may view her and the dangers that come with that.
What that girl was wearing really is not an issue but the way you and others are looking at her is what the real issue is here. "
Completely agree with this. There's only so long you can have a say in what they wear, past a certain age they are their own person and want to express themselves. My parents especially my dad, didn't agree with a lot of what I wore but past the age of 16 had to like it or lump it. Yes, my skirts were short or my tops were low cut but that was my choice and I was old enough to make that choice. |
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"90% of men can and do control but when i see a girl like that alone it worrys me a bit thats all am saying not that am ageist it at all everyone to there own on how they dress is just a question and yes you could see her knickers thats how short it was "
90% of men can control themselves? So are you saying 10% of men can’t control themselves when a CHILD walks past dressed however they please? I think your estimates are miles out. I think it’s a fraction of 1% of men who can’t control themselves. |
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I can guarantee ( okay I know nothing is certain in life ) that no one will ever ask the question about the dangers to boys of 13 or so who's pants are at half mast and we can see their underpants and the open shirts on a hot day let us see their chests.......
Who warns those boys about women ? |
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By *oppet22 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
huddersfield |
I agree there people should wear what they want without fear of what people say am no prune it was she was alone nr woods if she was in a more public place would have not given it a second thought |
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"90% of men can and do control but when i see a girl like that alone it worrys me a bit thats all am saying not that am ageist it at all everyone to there own on how they dress is just a question and yes you could see her knickers thats how short it was
90% of men can control themselves? So are you saying 10% of men can’t control themselves when a CHILD walks past dressed however they please? I think your estimates are miles out. I think it’s a fraction of 1% of men who can’t control themselves. "
Even that is extreme. It means in a crowd of 1000 men that 100 of them are dodgy toward women.
If that is so then im dressing all women in armed tanks |
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The point that society should STOP trying to own womens sexuality keeps getting lost in the reading somewhere.
Stop men being dodgy..... allow women to exist.
Educate men differently. Women are people not things. |
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As a mum to 2 daughters I teach them ‘their bodies, their rules’ and also that NO ONE has the right to touch them or make them uncomfortable in anyway.
If I had boys I’d teach them respect and self control.
I’ve worn some pretty revealing things.
My 21 year old wore a pretty revealing dress out last night and SHE choose to wear shorts under it for her comfort.
This isn’t about clothes. If she was attacked by a man - it would be because that man thought he had the right to her body. This is what we need to stamp out. |
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"I can guarantee ( okay I know nothing is certain in life ) that no one will ever ask the question about the dangers to boys of 13 or so who's pants are at half mast and we can see their underpants and the open shirts on a hot day let us see their chests.......
Who warns those boys about women ? "
Yes!!! |
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"I agree there people should wear what they want without fear of what people say am no prune it was she was alone nr woods if she was in a more public place would have not given it a second thought "
Oh so now she was on her own near some woods..... Headphones on next, nose on her phone maybe? Any other cliché?! |
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I’ve been out before with the ex and saw a group of 3/4 girls around 14/15. One had her shorts pulled up so high her butt cheeks were clearly on show below the shorts. They went passed up several times in the shopping centre. In the end I stopped them and asked her if her dad knew what she was wearing and what was on show, she replied no. So I told her to get to the toilets and get covered up, that it was inappropriate and that if anything happened to her, then she’d regret it. And yes I have a daughter, almost 24, and no she never went out like. Did she change clothes when away from us? Probably! Would I have been angry in an adult told her to cover up? No |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been out before with the ex and saw a group of 3/4 girls around 14/15. One had her shorts pulled up so high her butt cheeks were clearly on show below the shorts. They went passed up several times in the shopping centre. In the end I stopped them and asked her if her dad knew what she was wearing and what was on show, she replied no. So I told her to get to the toilets and get covered up, that it was inappropriate and that if anything happened to her, then she’d regret it. And yes I have a daughter, almost 24, and no she never went out like. Did she change clothes when away from us? Probably! Would I have been angry in an adult told her to cover up? No"
I'd be raging if you did that to my daughter. That's so fucking rude and not your place as a stranger at all.
It's a fucking bum cheek! How's that inappropriate? It's almost like you're putting the blame onto her and not the people who look at her and sexualise her. |
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"I’ve been out before with the ex and saw a group of 3/4 girls around 14/15. One had her shorts pulled up so high her butt cheeks were clearly on show below the shorts. They went passed up several times in the shopping centre. In the end I stopped them and asked her if her dad knew what she was wearing and what was on show, she replied no. So I told her to get to the toilets and get covered up, that it was inappropriate and that if anything happened to her, then she’d regret it. And yes I have a daughter, almost 24, and no she never went out like. Did she change clothes when away from us? Probably! Would I have been angry in an adult told her to cover up? No
I'd be raging if you did that to my daughter. That's so fucking rude and not your place as a stranger at all.
It's a fucking bum cheek! How's that inappropriate? It's almost like you're putting the blame onto her and not the people who look at her and sexualise her. "
I understand where you’re coming from and respect what you’re saying. I was just worried in case anything happened to her. Sorry my post offended you, there was no offence meant to anybody |
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"I’ve been out before with the ex and saw a group of 3/4 girls around 14/15. One had her shorts pulled up so high her butt cheeks were clearly on show below the shorts. They went passed up several times in the shopping centre. In the end I stopped them and asked her if her dad knew what she was wearing and what was on show, she replied no. So I told her to get to the toilets and get covered up, that it was inappropriate and that if anything happened to her, then she’d regret it. And yes I have a daughter, almost 24, and no she never went out like. Did she change clothes when away from us? Probably! Would I have been angry in an adult told her to cover up? No
I'd be raging if you did that to my daughter. That's so fucking rude and not your place as a stranger at all.
It's a fucking bum cheek! How's that inappropriate? It's almost like you're putting the blame onto her and not the people who look at her and sexualise her. "
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"I honestly never meant to upset anyone, once again, I apologise"
I'm only speaking for me. I'm neither upset nor offended but I disagree with your actions totally.
Adults should not accost children in the street.. |
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I didn’t do it out of victimisation or anything like that. I just saw the way others were looking and I was really worried. I’ll leave the forum now, I don’t like confrontation and upset so I’ll leave |
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"I didn’t do it out of victimisation or anything like that. I just saw the way others were looking and I was really worried. I’ll leave the forum now, I don’t like confrontation and upset so I’ll leave"
That was a quick about face!
If it's your opinion then stand by it. Just because someone doesn't agree with you is no reason to leave. |
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Men should respect a woman choice of outfit and know it does not mean consent but the age worries me but people are growing up with TikTok which is changing people's view of decency.
Very much on the fence.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's up to her xx
I disagree. No way would I have let my daughter out the door at a young age dressed like that and as long as she lived under my roof I had the last say."
Kids will do as they please anyway at the end of the day, I'm more interested in making sure she's educated and supported so she can make intelligent decisions. But it's still her body and clothes, she can wear anything she likes or as little as she likes. I'd prefer she didn't but it is up to her xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn’t do it out of victimisation or anything like that. I just saw the way others were looking and I was really worried. I’ll leave the forum now, I don’t like confrontation and upset so I’ll leave"
You don't have to leave the forum, that's your opinion at the end of the day. And you've not upset me, but I completely disagree with what you did. I don't think it was ok at all. I'd absolutely lose my shit if I found out that happened to my daughter. It's not your place to tell my daughter how to dress.
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"It's up to her xx
I disagree. No way would I have let my daughter out the door at a young age dressed like that and as long as she lived under my roof I had the last say.
Kids will do as they please anyway at the end of the day, I'm more interested in making sure she's educated and supported so she can make intelligent decisions. But it's still her body and clothes, she can wear anything she likes or as little as she likes. I'd prefer she didn't but it is up to her xx"
And that is the problem with kids today. When I was young we respected our parents enough to live by their rules. I loved to dress my daughter in the latest fashions but she was always dressed appropriately for her age before leaving the house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's up to her xx
I disagree. No way would I have let my daughter out the door at a young age dressed like that and as long as she lived under my roof I had the last say.
Kids will do as they please anyway at the end of the day, I'm more interested in making sure she's educated and supported so she can make intelligent decisions. But it's still her body and clothes, she can wear anything she likes or as little as she likes. I'd prefer she didn't but it is up to her xx
And that is the problem with kids today. When I was young we respected our parents enough to live by their rules. I loved to dress my daughter in the latest fashions but she was always dressed appropriately for her age before leaving the house."
I probably could apply rules and be obeyed. But I don't see the need to xx |
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"I didn’t do it out of victimisation or anything like that. I just saw the way others were looking and I was really worried. I’ll leave the forum now, I don’t like confrontation and upset so I’ll leave"
Yes it’s good you were worried, but you blamed her. What would be a much better course of action was to stand up and call the pervy inappropriate fuckers out for their behaviour
Only when we tackle the actual problem can we get anyway forward in solving it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's up to her xx
I disagree. No way would I have let my daughter out the door at a young age dressed like that and as long as she lived under my roof I had the last say.
Kids will do as they please anyway at the end of the day, I'm more interested in making sure she's educated and supported so she can make intelligent decisions. But it's still her body and clothes, she can wear anything she likes or as little as she likes. I'd prefer she didn't but it is up to her xx
And that is the problem with kids today. When I was young we respected our parents enough to live by their rules. I loved to dress my daughter in the latest fashions but she was always dressed appropriately for her age before leaving the house."
"Kids today"? Were kids yesterday much better? I'm a middle aged man and was a little shit when I was a teenager. I've heard them Mods and rockers were a bit of trouble in their teens too. Teddy boys started it in the 50s tho right? Do you think it might be possible that rebelling at that age is just a normal part of growing up? |
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"Men should respect a woman choice of outfit and know it does not mean consent but the age worries me but people are growing up with TikTok which is changing people's view of decency.
Very much on the fence. "
Lots of things changed thd view of decency throughout the ages. If they hadn't we'd all still be wearing ankle length skirts and ruffles round our neck.
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"It's up to her xx
I disagree. No way would I have let my daughter out the door at a young age dressed like that and as long as she lived under my roof I had the last say.
Kids will do as they please anyway at the end of the day, I'm more interested in making sure she's educated and supported so she can make intelligent decisions. But it's still her body and clothes, she can wear anything she likes or as little as she likes. I'd prefer she didn't but it is up to her xx
And that is the problem with kids today. When I was young we respected our parents enough to live by their rules. I loved to dress my daughter in the latest fashions but she was always dressed appropriately for her age before leaving the house.
"Kids today"? Were kids yesterday much better? I'm a middle aged man and was a little shit when I was a teenager. I've heard them Mods and rockers were a bit of trouble in their teens too. Teddy boys started it in the 50s tho right? Do you think it might be possible that rebelling at that age is just a normal part of growing up?"
I was a little shit too as a teenager but my parents would not let me do whatever I wanted I just did when they weren't there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's up to her xx
I disagree. No way would I have let my daughter out the door at a young age dressed like that and as long as she lived under my roof I had the last say.
Kids will do as they please anyway at the end of the day, I'm more interested in making sure she's educated and supported so she can make intelligent decisions. But it's still her body and clothes, she can wear anything she likes or as little as she likes. I'd prefer she didn't but it is up to her xx
And that is the problem with kids today. When I was young we respected our parents enough to live by their rules. I loved to dress my daughter in the latest fashions but she was always dressed appropriately for her age before leaving the house.
"Kids today"? Were kids yesterday much better? I'm a middle aged man and was a little shit when I was a teenager. I've heard them Mods and rockers were a bit of trouble in their teens too. Teddy boys started it in the 50s tho right? Do you think it might be possible that rebelling at that age is just a normal part of growing up?
I was a little shit too as a teenager but my parents would not let me do whatever I wanted I just did when they weren't there."
I mistook whst you said. I thought you were implying that you did as you were told cause you respected your parents.
Yeah I daren't have got caught either.  |
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"Men should respect a woman choice of outfit and know it does not mean consent but the age worries me but people are growing up with TikTok which is changing people's view of decency.
Very much on the fence.
Lots of things changed thd view of decency throughout the ages. If they hadn't we'd all still be wearing ankle length skirts and ruffles round our neck.
"
Very much in agreement with you but a dislike the sexualisation of children...
Also we only have a description of what she was wearing and actually seeing that outfit might change everybody's view.
I think he just trying to be a Goodman and protect a young woman from his perceived threat of some men which is a good thing but many women no longer feel that need protection from men no one is wrong just different views if you found in a situation to no fault of your own would you be happy for a man the step in and assist you 100% you would.
Work the other way too if a guy is struggling with his emotions women are far better and supporting not judging making them face up to their problems than going to the pub to get pissed with another man. |
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I do find it interesting that while the women of Afghanistan are being "told" to cover up we are (rightly) outraged but we find it perfectly acceptable to police what young women wear in this country and shame girls for daring to own their own bodies and fashion choices.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutly not. We used to live in the usa and i was horrified what the girls were wearing at the middle school prom - so 13/14
Some of them looked like streetwalkers. What were their moms thinking!!! "
Yes I was shocked by it but what can you do? |
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Yep, all women should behave and dress in such a way as to not inflame the delicate nature of mens desires. They are fragile creatures who simply cannot be held responsible for their behaviours
The girls, boys, women and men in my tribe are taught body autonomy and also what to expect and how to deal with the very common and vile behaviours, particularly from boys and men.
A friends son in law couldn't see the problem with the 'playful' pinch with tongs he inflicted on his wife's 16 year old sisters bottom and refused to acknowledge how uncomfortable and frightening that was.
These threads are jam packed with shocking admissions from men about what they do for sexual gratification and how they think it's normal and justify it. |
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"Absolutly not. We used to live in the usa and i was horrified what the girls were wearing at the middle school prom - so 13/14
Some of them looked like streetwalkers. What were their moms thinking!!!
Yes I was shocked by it but what can you do?"
Steetwalkers? How about stop shaming women and start targeting why you use historically negative language on people who have every right to dress how they please.
And I'll tell you what you can do, call out anyone and everyone who shames, belittles and objectifes girls and women.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutly not. We used to live in the usa and i was horrified what the girls were wearing at the middle school prom - so 13/14
Some of them looked like streetwalkers. What were their moms thinking!!!
Yes I was shocked by it but what can you do?
Steetwalkers? How about stop shaming women and start targeting why you use historically negative language on people who have every right to dress how they please.
And I'll tell you what you can do, call out anyone and everyone who shames, belittles and objectifes girls and women.
"
If we can start with The Sun and The Mail we'll get more done. Those two vile publications have been sexualising children forever. They influence how people vote what must they have done for society's views on women ffs.  |
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"I didn’t do it out of victimisation or anything like that. I just saw the way others were looking and I was really worried. I’ll leave the forum now, I don’t like confrontation and upset so I’ll leave"
You have to own your decisions and the right to them.
I'd be another person who would be fucking furious if you said that to any of my relatives.
Your care was misplaced, you should have been supporting her choice by calling out those staring. |
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"Absolutly not. We used to live in the usa and i was horrified what the girls were wearing at the middle school prom - so 13/14
Some of them looked like streetwalkers. What were their moms thinking!!!
Yes I was shocked by it but what can you do?
Steetwalkers? How about stop shaming women and start targeting why you use historically negative language on people who have every right to dress how they please.
And I'll tell you what you can do, call out anyone and everyone who shames, belittles and objectifes girls and women.
If we can start with The Sun and The Mail we'll get more done. Those two vile publications have been sexualising children forever. They influence how people vote what must they have done for society's views on women ffs. "
I get so rageful about how badly women are allowed to exist. Little more than disposable wet holes here for a start.
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Some of the comments on here, show why we still have so far to go for genuine equality for women.
Women are still very much judged on what they wear and how they look, even in high powered jobs. Men aren't.
We as parents and family need to do everything in our power, to educate our young men and boys in treating women and girls as people, not sexual objects.
As to the individual who presumed to tell someone else's child how to dress... I can't think of an appropriate polite response |
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"Absolutly not. We used to live in the usa and i was horrified what the girls were wearing at the middle school prom - so 13/14
Some of them looked like streetwalkers. What were their moms thinking!!!
Yes I was shocked by it but what can you do?"
I went dress shopping with my daughter and we found an outfit that she was happy to wear that didn't shock me. Though i warned her that her feet would be hurting by the end as she wanted to wear heels. . We compromised on a pair with wedge heels - we had a grown up discussion.
Now i would have to bribe her to wear a dress as prefers leggings and baggy tshirts. |
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Say what you want to say, at the end of the day I wasn’t being nasty, I was just worried about a child who was showing half her arse off! Yeah I coulda called the guys out that were staring but don’t you think that would’ve drawn more attention to her, than me saying quietly??? |
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"Don’t have kids
But I will say my clothes are not my consent
If I want to go out in lingerie and sky high heels I am still not asking for it "
Love this
My clothes (or lack thereof) are not my consent. *stealing this*
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Say what you want to say, at the end of the day I wasn’t being nasty, I was just worried about a child who was showing half her arse off! Yeah I coulda called the guys out that were staring but don’t you think that would’ve drawn more attention to her, than me saying quietly???"
I don’t think anyone was saying you were being nasty, just that you don’t have to right to do that, and your actions could potentially have been quite traumatic for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Say what you want to say, at the end of the day I wasn’t being nasty, I was just worried about a child who was showing half her arse off! Yeah I coulda called the guys out that were staring but don’t you think that would’ve drawn more attention to her, than me saying quietly???"
Doesn't sound like you said it very quietly. It sounds like you had a go at an innocent child that was a complete stranger to you. If a stranger done that to my daughter, she'd be mortified and extremely upset. It would probably make her paranoid over everything she wore after that too. It's really none of your business what that child is wearing.
I would be livid if this had been my child. |
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I said it nicely and quietly in a caring tone. Everyone views things differently, and I didn’t think it right the way people were staring at her, male and female, I’m a caring person and meant her no harm.
I feel like I’m on fucking trial!!!!!!
Who’s next????? |
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As a father of 7 girls and 2 boys I've never had to worry about what any of them wear. Both were taught to respect their bodies and those of the opposite sex irrespective of gender, race, sexuality or religion. When they were older I used to joke with some of the girls that they'd forgotten to put the skirt on but the belt was nice lol they'd just laugh. My initial reaction to the OP was no I wouldn't, and that was more about her being so young. As a dad I'd want her to remain safe so I think I'd talk to my daughter first but I'd have probably have let her go out whilst I stayed at home and worried lol. My 23 yr old was wearing very short shorts the other day and yes her bum cheeks were showing.. She actually asked me if they were exposed I said yes and she kept pulling them down she wasn't comfortable herself about it. So just because you see things, a girl might be totally unaware of just how revealing something is if she can't see it |
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"It's up to her xx
I disagree. No way would I have let my daughter out the door at a young age dressed like that and as long as she lived under my roof I had the last say.
Kids will do as they please anyway at the end of the day, I'm more interested in making sure she's educated and supported so she can make intelligent decisions. But it's still her body and clothes, she can wear anything she likes or as little as she likes. I'd prefer she didn't but it is up to her xx
And that is the problem with kids today. When I was young we respected our parents enough to live by their rules. I loved to dress my daughter in the latest fashions but she was always dressed appropriately for her age before leaving the house.
"Kids today"? Were kids yesterday much better? I'm a middle aged man and was a little shit when I was a teenager. I've heard them Mods and rockers were a bit of trouble in their teens too. Teddy boys started it in the 50s tho right? Do you think it might be possible that rebelling at that age is just a normal part of growing up?"
Kids of yesterday year were probably far worse! I know I was how I survived some of the stuff we did I dont know! X |
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" Say what you want to say, at the end of the day I wasn’t being nasty, I was just worried about a child who was showing half her arse off! Yeah I coulda called the guys out that were staring but don’t you think that would’ve drawn more attention to her, than me saying quietly???"
Nobody has accused you of being nasty. You interfered with your personal feelings and standards and handed them over to a girl, a complete stranger.
You did the wrong thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of the things I wore at that age were shocking. My mum knew nothing about it as I would hide in my school bag and put it on at my friends house. I think if she looked that young most men would have the sense to avoid. "
Was going to say this. My parents had (and still have!) no idea of some of the things I wore/did in secret when I was growing up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of the things I wore at that age were shocking. My mum knew nothing about it as I would hide in my school bag and put it on at my friends house. I think if she looked that young most men would have the sense to avoid.
Was going to say this. My parents had (and still have!) no idea of some of the things I wore/did in secret when I was growing up. "
That's why I think it's so important to accept the choices your kids make, even if you don't like those choices. I think it encourages a more open and supportive relationship where they don't feel the need to hide stuff from you.
I'm not saying let your child go out naked when they are 12, but within good reason let them have their own sense of self and don't guilt them for completely normal things that are part of growing up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter is nearly 14 and has her own style, she wears what she feels comfortable and happy with. But she is also quite clearly a teenager. It’s not for her to worry and be conscious about what she’s wearing, after all it’s not her with the issue. Anybody who looks at any teen/young woman and deems their outfit to be one of a sexual nature are the ones who need educating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of the things I wore at that age were shocking. My mum knew nothing about it as I would hide in my school bag and put it on at my friends house. I think if she looked that young most men would have the sense to avoid.
Was going to say this. My parents had (and still have!) no idea of some of the things I wore/did in secret when I was growing up.
That's why I think it's so important to accept the choices your kids make, even if you don't like those choices. I think it encourages a more open and supportive relationship where they don't feel the need to hide stuff from you.
I'm not saying let your child go out naked when they are 12, but within good reason let them have their own sense of self and don't guilt them for completely normal things that are part of growing up."
I agree, children need to be able to make their own decisions, and have their own bodily autonomy, within sensible reason.
Don’t want to wear a coat, then don’t, that’s how they learn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I told my daughter to cover up before she went out, what would I be teaching her? That she's responsible for lecherous eyes on her or worse? That she shouldn't enjoy freedom to wear what she likes? I would never teach my daughter that she has to change to appease men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a mum but I have a hunch you're adding poetic license for dramatic effect lol
Girls have worn mini skirts for years.... I doubt it was all hanging out.
Fishnet and whale net tights are very popular amongst goth/alt/emo culture.
Your post just indicates societies insistence that women am for it, not that men need to control themselves. "
Absolutely agree… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a mum to 2 daughters I teach them ‘their bodies, their rules’ and also that NO ONE has the right to touch them or make them uncomfortable in anyway.
If I had boys I’d teach them respect and self control.
I’ve worn some pretty revealing things.
My 21 year old wore a pretty revealing dress out last night and SHE choose to wear shorts under it for her comfort.
This isn’t about clothes. If she was attacked by a man - it would be because that man thought he had the right to her body. This is what we need to stamp out. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A mum of 3 girls and it shouldn’t even come in to question what women or girls wear!! Men should be able to control themselves, especially around a child!!!! No matter how she is dressed.
Ridiculous thread. |
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"90% of men can and do control but when i see a girl like that alone it worrys me a bit thats all am saying not that am ageist it at all everyone to there own on how they dress is just a question and yes you could see her knickers thats how short it was
90% of men can control themselves? So are you saying 10% of men can’t control themselves when a CHILD walks past dressed however they please? I think your estimates are miles out. I think it’s a fraction of 1% of men who can’t control themselves.
Even that is extreme. It means in a crowd of 1000 men that 100 of them are dodgy toward women.
If that is so then im dressing all women in armed tanks"
If you are using a room with 1000 men in it I said it would be a fraction of 1% so maybe 1 person in a thousand. |
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"It's up to her xx"
This exactly! Her body, her choice. Explain the risks, give her sound advice on how to prepare and deal with unpleasant situations she might encounter, then let her make her choices and learn from her mistakes.
We manage risks every waking hour of our lives and if a young 'un is determined to dress a certain way no amount of parental discipline is going to change that. |
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"If I told my daughter to cover up before she went out, what would I be teaching her? That she's responsible for lecherous eyes on her or worse? That she shouldn't enjoy freedom to wear what she likes? I would never teach my daughter that she has to change to appease men. "
That sounds like sensible parenting to me. I took exactly the same view with my girls. |
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"If I told my daughter to cover up before she went out, what would I be teaching her? That she's responsible for lecherous eyes on her or worse? That she shouldn't enjoy freedom to wear what she likes? I would never teach my daughter that she has to change to appease men. "
The question that has to be asked is why does she want to go out like that in the first place. There are fashionable age appropriate clothes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't matter what people wear. If she's under age you shouldn't be worried about what might happen because it's just as much down to you to make sure nothing does. |
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By *iss KissWoman
over a year ago
near Coventry |
"Just seen a girl must have only been about 12 13 walking down street in very short skirt not hiding anything from view fishnet stcocking low cut top would you let your kids out dressed like that i do worry when i see girls dressed like that as there lots of men out there that would try to take advantage of them or even worse just my thoughts on it i would never let them out dressed like that sorry for been old fashion "
Men who would take advantage of an underage girl, would do that no matter what they are wearing. Sick fucks. Im getting a whiff of victim blaming here. |
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This whole thread makes me very sad and angry, that my 4yo daughter will still have to contend with the same sexist BS, despite decades of effort to reframe thinking about the female body, clothing and sexuality.
Fuck it, why not just get us all wearing a burqa and have done with it?! |
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"Just seen a girl must have only been about 12 13 walking down street in very short skirt not hiding anything from view fishnet stcocking low cut top would you let your kids out dressed like that i do worry when i see girls dressed like that as there lots of men out there that would try to take advantage of them or even worse just my thoughts on it i would never let them out dressed like that sorry for been old fashion
Men who would take advantage of an underage girl, would do that no matter what they are wearing. Sick fucks. Im getting a whiff of victim blaming here. "
A whiff?!?! It's a full blow cases of the shits  |
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"This whole thread makes me very sad and angry, that my 4yo daughter will still have to contend with the same sexist BS, despite decades of effort to reframe thinking about the female body, clothing and sexuality.
Fuck it, why not just get us all wearing a burqa and have done with it?! "
Ridiculous, isn't it although I daresay plenty of burqa wearing women have been sexually assaulted. |
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"If I told my daughter to cover up before she went out, what would I be teaching her? That she's responsible for lecherous eyes on her or worse? That she shouldn't enjoy freedom to wear what she likes? I would never teach my daughter that she has to change to appease men.
The question that has to be asked is why does she want to go out like that in the first place. There are fashionable age appropriate clothes."
Age appropriate?
You're one of those women who judge the apparel of other women, aren't you.
I'm almost 61 and I daresay you'd like to see me in a t skirt, frilly blouse and flat shoes? |
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"This whole thread makes me very sad and angry, that my 4yo daughter will still have to contend with the same sexist BS, despite decades of effort to reframe thinking about the female body, clothing and sexuality.
Fuck it, why not just get us all wearing a burqa and have done with it?!
Ridiculous, isn't it although I daresay plenty of burqa wearing women have been sexually assaulted. "
Oh, I'm sure someone can find something to blame upon the poor burqa wearing lady if she is assaulted. Wrong colour or something, most likely.
Urgh - stupid world  |
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"If I told my daughter to cover up before she went out, what would I be teaching her? That she's responsible for lecherous eyes on her or worse? That she shouldn't enjoy freedom to wear what she likes? I would never teach my daughter that she has to change to appease men.
The question that has to be asked is why does she want to go out like that in the first place. There are fashionable age appropriate clothes."
What on earth are age appropriate clothes?
I am so pleased that my parents brought me up to have a mind of my own and be comfortable being me ... no doubt I should have natural coloured hair, and not go out partying to the early hours at my age |
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I am strict with my daughter about what she wears in public. Not because of boys/men. It's to have respect for herself. When she goes out she looks absolutely beautiful and not an arse cheek in sight. She tries to push boundaries and as a mother I'll continue to be strict. Some young girls look like absolute tramps. I'm glad my daughter isn't one of them
R |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im old skool so people might think i have dinosaur views but i agree with the opening post
i agree with those that say people can dress how they want and that its men who should learn not to be a cunt and abuse them but as a parent i know that in the real world there are dangerous people as much as we would like them not to be or to educate themselves or be better or whatever the latest buzzwords are haha
like i wouldnt walk down to west ham on a match day in my millwall shirt yea the west ham fans should learn to be better and not want to kick my head in if we lived in a perfect society but in reality they would kick my head in haha so to protect against that its sensible for me not to wear my millwall kit
also we sexualise kids too young and if they dress in a sexually provocative way at that age i would have words yeah call me old fashioned or say im the problem or its toxic masculinity or whatever you want to say but i think kids should be kids
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"im old skool so people might think i have dinosaur views but i agree with the opening post
i agree with those that say people can dress how they want and that its men who should learn not to be a cunt and abuse them but as a parent i know that in the real world there are dangerous people as much as we would like them not to be or to educate themselves or be better or whatever the latest buzzwords are haha
like i wouldnt walk down to west ham on a match day in my millwall shirt yea the west ham fans should learn to be better and not want to kick my head in if we lived in a perfect society but in reality they would kick my head in haha so to protect against that its sensible for me not to wear my millwall kit
also we sexualise kids too young and if they dress in a sexually provocative way at that age i would have words yeah call me old fashioned or say im the problem or its toxic masculinity or whatever you want to say but i think kids should be kids
"
You are the one assigning sexuality to the girl's clothing. My daughter wears short skirts because she likes them. And why shouldn't she wear them? Adults are the ones labelling wearing a short skirt as sexually provocative. That's how we end up with women victim blamed for being assaulted. The length of the skirt is provocative. Really?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"im old skool so people might think i have dinosaur views but i agree with the opening post
i agree with those that say people can dress how they want and that its men who should learn not to be a cunt and abuse them but as a parent i know that in the real world there are dangerous people as much as we would like them not to be or to educate themselves or be better or whatever the latest buzzwords are haha
like i wouldnt walk down to west ham on a match day in my millwall shirt yea the west ham fans should learn to be better and not want to kick my head in if we lived in a perfect society but in reality they would kick my head in haha so to protect against that its sensible for me not to wear my millwall kit
also we sexualise kids too young and if they dress in a sexually provocative way at that age i would have words yeah call me old fashioned or say im the problem or its toxic masculinity or whatever you want to say but i think kids should be kids
You are the one assigning sexuality to the girl's clothing. My daughter wears short skirts because she likes them. And why shouldn't she wear them? Adults are the ones labelling wearing a short skirt as sexually provocative. That's how we end up with women victim blamed for being assaulted. The length of the skirt is provocative. Really? "
op said v short skirt not hiding anything from view low cut tops yea that sounds bad imho like i said before in perfect society wouldnt be an issue but in real life there are dangers out there sick people sick minds if u like it or not
so if i walk down road with tight see thru thong on hardly hiding my cock i espect that people would look its what happens in real life
i aint victim blaming but saying wouldnt want my own kid dressing like that at that age ... my opinion that i am entitled to |
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"If I told my daughter to cover up before she went out, what would I be teaching her? That she's responsible for lecherous eyes on her or worse? That she shouldn't enjoy freedom to wear what she likes? I would never teach my daughter that she has to change to appease men.
The question that has to be asked is why does she want to go out like that in the first place. There are fashionable age appropriate clothes.
Age appropriate?
You're one of those women who judge the apparel of other women, aren't you.
I'm almost 61 and I daresay you'd like to see me in a t skirt, frilly blouse and flat shoes?"
You are a grown up and can wear what you want. But this thread is about children. |
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"im old skool so people might think i have dinosaur views but i agree with the opening post
i agree with those that say people can dress how they want and that its men who should learn not to be a cunt and abuse them but as a parent i know that in the real world there are dangerous people as much as we would like them not to be or to educate themselves or be better or whatever the latest buzzwords are haha
like i wouldnt walk down to west ham on a match day in my millwall shirt yea the west ham fans should learn to be better and not want to kick my head in if we lived in a perfect society but in reality they would kick my head in haha so to protect against that its sensible for me not to wear my millwall kit
also we sexualise kids too young and if they dress in a sexually provocative way at that age i would have words yeah call me old fashioned or say im the problem or its toxic masculinity or whatever you want to say but i think kids should be kids
You are the one assigning sexuality to the girl's clothing. My daughter wears short skirts because she likes them. And why shouldn't she wear them? Adults are the ones labelling wearing a short skirt as sexually provocative. That's how we end up with women victim blamed for being assaulted. The length of the skirt is provocative. Really?
op said v short skirt not hiding anything from view low cut tops yea that sounds bad imho like i said before in perfect society wouldnt be an issue but in real life there are dangers out there sick people sick minds if u like it or not
so if i walk down road with tight see thru thong on hardly hiding my cock i espect that people would look its what happens in real life
i aint victim blaming but saying wouldnt want my own kid dressing like that at that age ... my opinion that i am entitled to "
People might look. You might want them to. But should they touch? No. You shouldn't assume you'll be sexually assaulted if you had your penis out with a moustache and hat on it. But plenty of women are victim blamed because they were wearing lacy underwear at the time of a sexual assault. UNDERWEAR. The garments you can only see if you remove the outer clothing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"im old skool so people might think i have dinosaur views but i agree with the opening post
i agree with those that say people can dress how they want and that its men who should learn not to be a cunt and abuse them but as a parent i know that in the real world there are dangerous people as much as we would like them not to be or to educate themselves or be better or whatever the latest buzzwords are haha
like i wouldnt walk down to west ham on a match day in my millwall shirt yea the west ham fans should learn to be better and not want to kick my head in if we lived in a perfect society but in reality they would kick my head in haha so to protect against that its sensible for me not to wear my millwall kit
also we sexualise kids too young and if they dress in a sexually provocative way at that age i would have words yeah call me old fashioned or say im the problem or its toxic masculinity or whatever you want to say but i think kids should be kids
You are the one assigning sexuality to the girl's clothing. My daughter wears short skirts because she likes them. And why shouldn't she wear them? Adults are the ones labelling wearing a short skirt as sexually provocative. That's how we end up with women victim blamed for being assaulted. The length of the skirt is provocative. Really?
op said v short skirt not hiding anything from view low cut tops yea that sounds bad imho like i said before in perfect society wouldnt be an issue but in real life there are dangers out there sick people sick minds if u like it or not
so if i walk down road with tight see thru thong on hardly hiding my cock i espect that people would look its what happens in real life
i aint victim blaming but saying wouldnt want my own kid dressing like that at that age ... my opinion that i am entitled to
People might look. You might want them to. But should they touch? No. You shouldn't assume you'll be sexually assaulted if you had your penis out with a moustache and hat on it. But plenty of women are victim blamed because they were wearing lacy underwear at the time of a sexual assault. UNDERWEAR. The garments you can only see if you remove the outer clothing "
i never said otherwise and agree |
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"im old skool so people might think i have dinosaur views but i agree with the opening post
i agree with those that say people can dress how they want and that its men who should learn not to be a cunt and abuse them but as a parent i know that in the real world there are dangerous people as much as we would like them not to be or to educate themselves or be better or whatever the latest buzzwords are haha
like i wouldnt walk down to west ham on a match day in my millwall shirt yea the west ham fans should learn to be better and not want to kick my head in if we lived in a perfect society but in reality they would kick my head in haha so to protect against that its sensible for me not to wear my millwall kit
also we sexualise kids too young and if they dress in a sexually provocative way at that age i would have words yeah call me old fashioned or say im the problem or its toxic masculinity or whatever you want to say but i think kids should be kids
"
Totally agree. Parents let kids do what they want. Wear what they want and behave how they want. There are no boundaries anymore. And don't get me started on the length of school skirts. Absolutely shocking
R |
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