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Why are men….
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Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
But we love them  |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
But we love them "
 I can’t live without them.
Just frustrating sometimes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Girl i ask myself the same I feel like I need to bring out the Rosetta Stone to decipher some of them…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
We say the exact same things about women  no wonder we don't understand each other |
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"Because of phrases like "man up"
"Big boys don't cry" etc?"
It’s so true.
I once had a guy tell me that they don’t want to talk because they don’t get into emotional chats. Surely that’s something that brings you closer to someone.
|
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Girl i ask myself the same I feel like I need to bring out the Rosetta Stone to decipher some of them…."
Hahaha let’s do it together |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
We say the exact same things about women no wonder we don't understand each other "
Sounds like we’re doomed forever |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Because they're taught from a young age not to, to play the game of what's expected when you're a man, not be vulnerable, be strong and silent... blah, blah, blah which is utter bollocks. I love, love, love men who can be open and express how they are feeling; whether that's telling me that they have feelings for me or they are feeling crap. Have patience with them and hold a safe space for them to be open with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
We are strange breed OP |
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"I’ll be honest and say I find men a lot less confusing than women. Always thought I should have been a bloke! "
Really…I’m the complete opposite.
That’s a good thing for you Nora. Since the confusing part usually the the communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
But I agree more men need to be more straight talking and chat about about what they're thinking and feeling - who knows might help with their own mental health |
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"Because we're from Mars and you're from Venus.
If we understood the opposite sex completely some of the allure would vanish"
I’d have to disagree with that. I think that the more you understand the better it gets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because of phrases like "man up"
"Big boys don't cry" etc?"
Unfortunately, they aren't just phrases, they are life lessons being handed down, this world chews up and spits out men on an hourly basis. There's no room for weakness in most of the world, and sensitivity is easily exploited. And a lot of men's experience of this doesn't just mean from other men, a lot of time when we open up to many women we trust and we talk about our insecurities, fears, feelings, we get a little down the line and we find our own words fired back at us like bullets.
It's just the way it is. |
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"Because they're taught from a young age not to, to play the game of what's expected when you're a man, not be vulnerable, be strong and silent... blah, blah, blah which is utter bollocks. I love, love, love men who can be open and express how they are feeling; whether that's telling me that they have feelings for me or they are feeling crap. Have patience with them and hold a safe space for them to be open with you. "
Are times changing? Are we telling the young to express more.
I know from my own personal outlook of men in my life from my father, brothers, friends, partners, lovers that they have to portray themselves in such a way of being so closed off from expressing how they feel.
To come across a guy who can be that open has been rare for me. We need more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
You are generalising that men think that deeply
But I’m seriousness you described me a few years ago, now I’m plain talking about what I want from life and open up about things to people to get different and fresh perspectives |
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Men are conditioned to behave differently. It’s very sad and damaging. I’ve always found them pretty straight forward unless they’re intentionally being deceptive. But I need to know them pretty well as a human before considering anything else so maybe the friendship part helps with cutting out the grey areas. |
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"Because of phrases like "man up"
"Big boys don't cry" etc?
Unfortunately, they aren't just phrases, they are life lessons being handed down, this world chews up and spits out men on an hourly basis. There's no room for weakness in most of the world, and sensitivity is easily exploited. And a lot of men's experience of this doesn't just mean from other men, a lot of time when we open up to many women we trust and we talk about our insecurities, fears, feelings, we get a little down the line and we find our own words fired back at us like bullets.
It's just the way it is. "
So would you say that you think men are like this because they’ve opened up but had it used back on them as ammunition hence why they close themselves off to others? |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
You are generalising that men think that deeply
But I’m seriousness you described me a few years ago, now I’m plain talking about what I want from life and open up about things to people to get different and fresh perspectives"
I probably shouldn’t have generalised all men with my title but it’s something quite common in with my own experience.
It’s nice to hear that you are more open about what you want. I find that it just makes things easier for everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Girl i ask myself the same I feel like I need to bring out the Rosetta Stone to decipher some of them….
Hahaha let’s do it together "
I’ll bring a ouija board just in case as well 
|
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"Because of phrases like "man up"
"Big boys don't cry" etc?
Unfortunately, they aren't just phrases, they are life lessons being handed down, this world chews up and spits out men on an hourly basis. There's no room for weakness in most of the world, and sensitivity is easily exploited. And a lot of men's experience of this doesn't just mean from other men, a lot of time when we open up to many women we trust and we talk about our insecurities, fears, feelings, we get a little down the line and we find our own words fired back at us like bullets.
It's just the way it is. "
Exactly, however, I would say it is not taught rather a trait of being men. you are supposed to be courageous, warrior, provider, protector, the strength, be brave.
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Simply because women normally have an answer for everything |
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"Men are conditioned to behave differently. It’s very sad and damaging. I’ve always found them pretty straight forward unless they’re intentionally being deceptive. But I need to know them pretty well as a human before considering anything else so maybe the friendship part helps with cutting out the grey areas. "
Even with friendship you have those that are still grey with areas.
But it sounds like you’ve got your way of doing it and it seems to work for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Simply because women normally have an answer for everything "
And an ulterior motive |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
Little while ago a female in the forums, made some comments towards me which completely unfounded and inaccurate, especially as she did not know anything about me. Simply corrected politely by doing so she retaliated unpleasently and so did her forum friends.
The point was from the collective they said, "a real man would not have said anything and should have just taken it", we may have been brought up with "Big boys don't cry", "be a real man". But those sentiments are still here and current - is that opening up?
|
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Simply because women normally have an answer for everything
And an ulterior motive "
All those days at the pub paying off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings."
If you don’t choose your audience wisely, you get dismissed and told to ‘stop being miserable and bringing everyone else down’. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
You are generalising that men think that deeply
But I’m seriousness you described me a few years ago, now I’m plain talking about what I want from life and open up about things to people to get different and fresh perspectives
I probably shouldn’t have generalised all men with my title but it’s something quite common in with my own experience.
It’s nice to hear that you are more open about what you want. I find that it just makes things easier for everyone "
I’m only joking about the generalising part OP.
It does make it easier for everyone as you can be honest and say no to the things you don’t want without having to explain constantly let alone leave perceived wriggle room for persuasion.
I have tried my hardest to communicate it in my profile too and as a result I am talking to the people I want to talk to and not time wasters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because of phrases like "man up"
"Big boys don't cry" etc?
Unfortunately, they aren't just phrases, they are life lessons being handed down, this world chews up and spits out men on an hourly basis. There's no room for weakness in most of the world, and sensitivity is easily exploited. And a lot of men's experience of this doesn't just mean from other men, a lot of time when we open up to many women we trust and we talk about our insecurities, fears, feelings, we get a little down the line and we find our own words fired back at us like bullets.
It's just the way it is.
So would you say that you think men are like this because they’ve opened up but had it used back on them as ammunition hence why they close themselves off to others?"
Yeah, plus the handed down baton of be strong, show no weakness, don't let anyone in. But it isn't handed down for no reason, we are talking about men who are handing down these lessons who were mostly raised in far rougher environments and circumstance than those they are handing them down to, just in my case, we are talking about a male line going back through the years living in the slums of Glasgow. That's not a place where softness of any kind is of any use, there's no point crying, no point talking, it won't change the fact that you need to fight through the day and get food on the table. And that story is the same for most of the men from most of the places in most of the world. And even though times "have changed" men still need that mentality to stay afloat in society today. Yes it's good to talk, but to someone who can actually help, not just to anyone, someone you trust, someone who is there to help you stay upright. |
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"Because of phrases like "man up"
"Big boys don't cry" etc?
Unfortunately, they aren't just phrases, they are life lessons being handed down, this world chews up and spits out men on an hourly basis. There's no room for weakness in most of the world, and sensitivity is easily exploited. And a lot of men's experience of this doesn't just mean from other men, a lot of time when we open up to many women we trust and we talk about our insecurities, fears, feelings, we get a little down the line and we find our own words fired back at us like bullets.
It's just the way it is.
So would you say that you think men are like this because they’ve opened up but had it used back on them as ammunition hence why they close themselves off to others?
Yeah, plus the handed down baton of be strong, show no weakness, don't let anyone in. But it isn't handed down for no reason, we are talking about men who are handing down these lessons who were mostly raised in far rougher environments and circumstance than those they are handing them down to, just in my case, we are talking about a male line going back through the years living in the slums of Glasgow. That's not a place where softness of any kind is of any use, there's no point crying, no point talking, it won't change the fact that you need to fight through the day and get food on the table. And that story is the same for most of the men from most of the places in most of the world. And even though times "have changed" men still need that mentality to stay afloat in society today. Yes it's good to talk, but to someone who can actually help, not just to anyone, someone you trust, someone who is there to help you stay upright. "
Really good point, well made...
After all, men are from Mars...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Little while ago a female in the forums, made some comments towards me which completely unfounded and inaccurate, especially as she did not know anything about me. Simply corrected politely by doing so she retaliated unpleasently and so did her forum friends.
The point was from the collective they said, "a real man would not have said anything and should have just taken it", we may have been brought up with "Big boys don't cry", "be a real man". But those sentiments are still here and current - is that opening up?
"
That is disgusting behaviour, it's horrible when the pack mentality start. Of course you are a real man, your masculinity should not be defined by any trait or characteristic.
I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that |
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By *ulkuriMan
over a year ago
London |
Because we are told from young age not to share any emotions or you'll be seen as weak. You need to deal with your emotions in solitude and behind closed doors.
Then we also have the moments, especially during break ups, when those shared doubts and fears are used against men. Just to lash out with "you were never man enough" type of thing.
I wasn't raised to follow any of those mantras. Because of that, I have been called or assumed gay more than I can remember.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that"
Are you one of the rare few that accept honest answers, whether they like the answer or not?
Almost exclusively I find people ask for it but don’t actually want it.
Not a dig at you btw, just setting the scenario… |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Stop canalising where there isn't any water.
If you find 50% of men confusing...... chances are it's you not them.
I find them pretty straight forward.
The ones you haven't known long want sex.
The ones you've known for ages want sex.
The ones you haven't met yet - want sex.
Not attachment and certainly not emotional attachment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that
Are you one of the rare few that accept honest answers, whether they like the answer or not?
Almost exclusively I find people ask for it but don’t actually want it.
Not a dig at you btw, just setting the scenario…"
Yes I am, give me honesty anyday, regardless of whether the answer is what I want to hear. Give me reality over superficial anyday because if you always take the good then how can you use it as a way of reflecting to personal growth |
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On sites such as this the men do the fuckity dance.
They are shit scared of speaking the truth because they signed up for a shag and find that the women they speak to are looking for emotional crutches.
So they won't say 'FAF' as they will lose contact with someone they view as a possibility if only she's shut the fuck up ...... |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
It’s weird because many guys would say the same thing about women
Obviously there’s a communication block somewhere, and I think both sides are as guilty as one another |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd like to also say, these lessons aren't just handed down by men, there are many men who were raised by women while the man was working or had fucked off who handed down those exact same lessons. I, for example was raised adopted away from my family by a single woman, and she handed down those lessons to me too. So it isn't just a "man" thing, women who truly care for the men they raise will also teach them that the world they are growing up into has no time for men who are sensitive, who are naive. Doing anything else, in reality, is like sending a puppy into viper pit. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
People aren’t confusing, we just like to pretend they are to make ourselves feel better about the behaviour of ourselves or others.
When you break it down most of the mystery occurs when people are trying to somehow gain an advantage or benefit. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"Little while ago a female in the forums, made some comments towards me which completely unfounded and inaccurate, especially as she did not know anything about me. Simply corrected politely by doing so she retaliated unpleasently and so did her forum friends.
The point was from the collective they said, "a real man would not have said anything and should have just taken it", we may have been brought up with "Big boys don't cry", "be a real man". But those sentiments are still here and current - is that opening up?
That is disgusting behaviour, it's horrible when the pack mentality start. Of course you are a real man, your masculinity should not be defined by any trait or characteristic.
I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that"
Thank you, I raised the point just to highlight the fact even this day and age in the spirit of the thread, even though we are supposed to be more enlightened and accepting that these sentiments still hold a strong place and guys are still expected to "man up, be a real man etc etc," held to archetypal typecasts and standards |
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"Because we're from Mars and you're from Venus.
If we understood the opposite sex completely some of the allure would vanish
I’d have to disagree with that. I think that the more you understand the better it gets "
To a point but I think there needs to be some air of mystery kept |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that
Are you one of the rare few that accept honest answers, whether they like the answer or not?
Almost exclusively I find people ask for it but don’t actually want it.
Not a dig at you btw, just setting the scenario…
Yes I am, give me honesty anyday, regardless of whether the answer is what I want to hear. Give me reality over superficial anyday because if you always take the good then how can you use it as a way of reflecting to personal growth "
That’s probably the closest thing to a real life superpower there is. |
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"I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that
Are you one of the rare few that accept honest answers, whether they like the answer or not?
Almost exclusively I find people ask for it but don’t actually want it.
Not a dig at you btw, just setting the scenario…
Yes I am, give me honesty anyday, regardless of whether the answer is what I want to hear. Give me reality over superficial anyday because if you always take the good then how can you use it as a way of reflecting to personal growth "
|
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"On sites such as this the men do the fuckity dance.
They are shit scared of speaking the truth because they signed up for a shag and find that the women they speak to are looking for emotional crutches.
So they won't say 'FAF' as they will lose contact with someone they view as a possibility if only she's shut the fuck up ...... "
exactly this |
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On a recent "Am I on your hotlist?" thread I was messaged by people I'd never spoken to before and 3 of those told me that one of the reasons I'm on theirs is because of my no BS approach and the fact I say it as it is without worrying about sucking up to anyone.
I grew up in a matriarchal family and had to become a responsible adult at the age of 12 so to use a term I despise I manned up back then.
I am not comfortable talking about emotions but at the same time I have been the rock that many people have needed over the years and I couldn't have done that if I was an emotional person.
I suffer from anhedonia which you can Google as I won't explain it correctly but I am also an avid people watcher.
That allows me to see how others behave and how they tailor their conversations and engagement to ingratiate themselves with others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are women so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Agreed |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"On a recent "Am I on your hotlist?" thread I was messaged by people I'd never spoken to before and 3 of those told me that one of the reasons I'm on theirs is because of my no BS approach and the fact I say it as it is without worrying about sucking up to anyone.
I grew up in a matriarchal family and had to become a responsible adult at the age of 12 so to use a term I despise I manned up back then.
I am not comfortable talking about emotions but at the same time I have been the rock that many people have needed over the years and I couldn't have done that if I was an emotional person.
I suffer from anhedonia which you can Google as I won't explain it correctly but I am also an avid people watcher.
That allows me to see how others behave and how they tailor their conversations and engagement to ingratiate themselves with others.
"
Cool . I'm on more peoples Hit List than Hot List but I'm fine with that. I still have my body armour |
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"On a recent "Am I on your hotlist?" thread I was messaged by people I'd never spoken to before and 3 of those told me that one of the reasons I'm on theirs is because of my no BS approach and the fact I say it as it is without worrying about sucking up to anyone.
I grew up in a matriarchal family and had to become a responsible adult at the age of 12 so to use a term I despise I manned up back then.
I am not comfortable talking about emotions but at the same time I have been the rock that many people have needed over the years and I couldn't have done that if I was an emotional person.
I suffer from anhedonia which you can Google as I won't explain it correctly but I am also an avid people watcher.
That allows me to see how others behave and how they tailor their conversations and engagement to ingratiate themselves with others.
"
I like you you’re not an arse licker. You’ll say what you feel without worrying it may put women off wanting to meet you. I like that. |
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"I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that
Are you one of the rare few that accept honest answers, whether they like the answer or not?
Almost exclusively I find people ask for it but don’t actually want it.
Not a dig at you btw, just setting the scenario…
Yes I am, give me honesty anyday, regardless of whether the answer is what I want to hear. Give me reality over superficial anyday because if you always take the good then how can you use it as a way of reflecting to personal growth "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that
Are you one of the rare few that accept honest answers, whether they like the answer or not?
Almost exclusively I find people ask for it but don’t actually want it.
Not a dig at you btw, just setting the scenario…
Yes I am, give me honesty anyday, regardless of whether the answer is what I want to hear. Give me reality over superficial anyday because if you always take the good then how can you use it as a way of reflecting to personal growth
That’s probably the closest thing to a real life superpower there is. "
I just don't know how to be anything other than upfront. Mind games and manipulations hold no court for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think I could be anything other than I am now, I’d hope I’m not confusing or give off mixed messages or signals
Talking about feelings in general I get though, I keep my heart open to other people but I’m pretty guarded on what I let you see in general. But if I make a connection I’ll open up
And let you in.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've given up on men now, apart from my partner but he's spot on with his communication thankfully. I'm in agreement with MissDreavus, no time for mind games or crap like that. I want honesty and no bullshit. I'll just take things with a pinch of salt now.
I get it's difficult for men to open up, but fuck I can't be bothered sometimes. |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
You are generalising that men think that deeply
But I’m seriousness you described me a few years ago, now I’m plain talking about what I want from life and open up about things to people to get different and fresh perspectives
I probably shouldn’t have generalised all men with my title but it’s something quite common in with my own experience.
It’s nice to hear that you are more open about what you want. I find that it just makes things easier for everyone
I’m only joking about the generalising part OP.
It does make it easier for everyone as you can be honest and say no to the things you don’t want without having to explain constantly let alone leave perceived wriggle room for persuasion.
I have tried my hardest to communicate it in my profile too and as a result I am talking to the people I want to talk to and not time wasters"
That’s a win win situation since you’re getting to know those that are more for you. Being straight and open about it hopefully gets you what you want from the site |
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"Because of phrases like "man up"
"Big boys don't cry" etc?
Unfortunately, they aren't just phrases, they are life lessons being handed down, this world chews up and spits out men on an hourly basis. There's no room for weakness in most of the world, and sensitivity is easily exploited. And a lot of men's experience of this doesn't just mean from other men, a lot of time when we open up to many women we trust and we talk about our insecurities, fears, feelings, we get a little down the line and we find our own words fired back at us like bullets.
It's just the way it is.
So would you say that you think men are like this because they’ve opened up but had it used back on them as ammunition hence why they close themselves off to others?
Yeah, plus the handed down baton of be strong, show no weakness, don't let anyone in. But it isn't handed down for no reason, we are talking about men who are handing down these lessons who were mostly raised in far rougher environments and circumstance than those they are handing them down to, just in my case, we are talking about a male line going back through the years living in the slums of Glasgow. That's not a place where softness of any kind is of any use, there's no point crying, no point talking, it won't change the fact that you need to fight through the day and get food on the table. And that story is the same for most of the men from most of the places in most of the world. And even though times "have changed" men still need that mentality to stay afloat in society today. Yes it's good to talk, but to someone who can actually help, not just to anyone, someone you trust, someone who is there to help you stay upright. "
That makes a lot of sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just putting it out there - is it really a man Vs woman thing ?
I know lots of women who are just as confusing - mixed messages, playing mind games etc
I think it's more of a mindset rather than a gender gap
Just offering an opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to be clear - I agree generally men need to coached more about talking and opening up more - there's a reason why there's a big mens mental health campaign at the moment.
More needs to be done |
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"Just putting it out there - is it really a man Vs woman thing ?
I know lots of women who are just as confusing - mixed messages, playing mind games etc
I think it's more of a mindset rather than a gender gap
Just offering an opinion "
I was going to offer that it's not a gender issue but I have said that quite frequently and begins to feel like a mantra.
I have no idea why human interaction always needs splitting down some 'imaginary' line.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they're taught from a young age not to, to play the game of what's expected when you're a man, not be vulnerable, be strong and silent... blah, blah, blah which is utter bollocks. I love, love, love men who can be open and express how they are feeling; whether that's telling me that they have feelings for me or they are feeling crap. Have patience with them and hold a safe space for them to be open with you. "
I grew up with a Dad and Grandad who were both what you might call 'traditional' or even macho men but neither of them ever taught me to be silent or not show emotions. They could be tough and vulnerable-I remember my Grandad knocking out a neighbour who kicked his dog then crying for a week when that dog died.
People are complicated, life is complicated. I think it has little to do with whether you're a man or a woman. |
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"Little while ago a female in the forums, made some comments towards me which completely unfounded and inaccurate, especially as she did not know anything about me. Simply corrected politely by doing so she retaliated unpleasently and so did her forum friends.
The point was from the collective they said, "a real man would not have said anything and should have just taken it", we may have been brought up with "Big boys don't cry", "be a real man". But those sentiments are still here and current - is that opening up?
That is disgusting behaviour, it's horrible when the pack mentality start. Of course you are a real man, your masculinity should not be defined by any trait or characteristic.
I like honesty and I like an upfront answer to a questions, I don't have the time or inclination to be wondering about what their actions mean or trying to decipher thoughts. Too old for that"
That’s exactly it. It’s trying to work out the riddles and there really isn’t time and would save a lot of they’re just upfront |
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By *LiamMan
over a year ago
Midlands |
For me being a man is such a great thing, I like being the one who can keep going through all adversities and try and push forward.. Not saying I don't like to open up but there's a difference between opening up things what have hurt you and dwelling on them. |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Stop canalising where there isn't any water.
If you find 50% of men confusing...... chances are it's you not them.
I find them pretty straight forward.
The ones you haven't known long want sex.
The ones you've known for ages want sex.
The ones you haven't met yet - want sex.
Not attachment and certainly not emotional attachment. "
but if they find me confusing then just say as I do with them.
Im happy for you that you find them pretty straightforward. |
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"On sites such as this the men do the fuckity dance.
They are shit scared of speaking the truth because they signed up for a shag and find that the women they speak to are looking for emotional crutches.
So they won't say 'FAF' as they will lose contact with someone they view as a possibility if only she's shut the fuck up ...... "
Yeah but that’s where I’m saying why can’t they just be honest about it.
If you don’t get a fucking fuck then look at someone else who doesn’t care about the openness |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
It’s weird because many guys would say the same thing about women
Obviously there’s a communication block somewhere, and I think both sides are as guilty as one another "
I can’t speak for the women, I can only say from by the way I do thing.
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"I don’t think I could be anything other than I am now, I’d hope I’m not confusing or give off mixed messages or signals
Talking about feelings in general I get though, I keep my heart open to other people but I’m pretty guarded on what I let you see in general. But if I make a connection I’ll open up
And let you in.
"
From chats with you on here Tom I think you’ve always been very open, those you connect with obviously know you on a deeper level |
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"I've given up on men now, apart from my partner but he's spot on with his communication thankfully. I'm in agreement with MissDreavus, no time for mind games or crap like that. I want honesty and no bullshit. I'll just take things with a pinch of salt now.
I get it's difficult for men to open up, but fuck I can't be bothered sometimes. "
I’m totally with you on that. Just don’t Waste my time is what I say. Do your thing |
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"Just putting it out there - is it really a man Vs woman thing ?
I know lots of women who are just as confusing - mixed messages, playing mind games etc
I think it's more of a mindset rather than a gender gap
Just offering an opinion "
Of course it can be both men and women but I can’t obviously say it from me talking to a women like that since I don’t talk to women like that.
Some women confuse the fuck out of me too. But I can easily just block those out. |
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"Because they're taught from a young age not to, to play the game of what's expected when you're a man, not be vulnerable, be strong and silent... blah, blah, blah which is utter bollocks. I love, love, love men who can be open and express how they are feeling; whether that's telling me that they have feelings for me or they are feeling crap. Have patience with them and hold a safe space for them to be open with you.
I grew up with a Dad and Grandad who were both what you might call 'traditional' or even macho men but neither of them ever taught me to be silent or not show emotions. They could be tough and vulnerable-I remember my Grandad knocking out a neighbour who kicked his dog then crying for a week when that dog died.
People are complicated, life is complicated. I think it has little to do with whether you're a man or a woman."
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"For me being a man is such a great thing, I like being the one who can keep going through all adversities and try and push forward.. Not saying I don't like to open up but there's a difference between opening up things what have hurt you and dwelling on them. "
There’s nothing wrong with being a man…just to be clear
You do it the way you want to. |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
I just say it as it is, I don't beat around the bush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry a bit of a rant coming....Men and women have different problems to deal with. Women aren't as likely, especially in younger years, to end up in a physical fight because someone doesnt like the way they looked at them. Men hide their feelings because society expects and conditions them to be tougher. That's why the vast majority of dirty and hard jobs are done by men. You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables. Its also why most stabbing victims are male. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry a bit of a rant coming....Men and women have different problems to deal with. Women aren't as likely, especially in younger years, to end up in a physical fight because someone doesnt like the way they looked at them. Men hide their feelings because society expects and conditions them to be tougher. That's why the vast majority of dirty and hard jobs are done by men. You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables. Its also why most stabbing victims are male. "
Yeah I personally wouldn’t want to do it , wouldn’t want to break a nail |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Because we're from Mars and you're from Venus.
If we understood the opposite sex completely some of the allure would vanish"
Okay, okay! We heard you the first time!!!
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Boys play games…men will tell you honestly.
Unfortunately men can be shallow and most of the time they need to know you’re interested in them before they open up and become vocal. If they still play games then sometimes it’s because of a they’ve been played before and are now tearing the water, it’s not a healthy way to do it but it happens OP.
This is just my opinion and something that with age I’ve realised that I prefer truth and honesty than mind games and tricks. Truth hurts people a lot of times because they would rather believe the lie because it more palatable. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables. "
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat |
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I find men really straightforward in general...probably one of the reasons that I've always had more male friends than female. I'm very direct though, and ask direct questions...in my experience men generally don't open up by themselves, but will answer direct questions. |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Stop canalising where there isn't any water.
If you find 50% of men confusing...... chances are it's you not them.
I find them pretty straight forward.
The ones you haven't known long want sex.
The ones you've known for ages want sex.
The ones you haven't met yet - want sex.
Not attachment and certainly not emotional attachment. "
You were doing so well until your last line. My parents are in their eighties and still very much in love. I've been in love more often than is good for me!
If you've never found real attachment, emotional attachment from even just one man, I quote "chances are it's you not them."
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women are just as confusing ha we have the same problems understand them
I think women tend to be quite open or maybe I’m just talking for myself. "
Yes women talk to each other’s all the time. They have to steam out quickly as they learn it earlier than boys from school year.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat"
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further. |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
I think that works both ways. In my experience, it’s previous damage that’s put a wall up. So confidence in the person you’re talking to helps gain trust and barriers down, and then people open up.
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" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further. "
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change. |
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By *aviniaCDTV/TS
over a year ago
Leeds (close to GAP) |
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
But in the nicest possible way, maybe that's because you're a woman?...x xx
Runs and hides!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Can we talk about this after the football ? |
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" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further. "
No one can deny the physical differences. That is not sufficient to say that the role of the most muscled makes them superior and worth more. Technology closes the gap somewhat and as we head toward a genderless society 'child rearing' won't be seen as something that a 'weaker' sex does for no recognition. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
We don’t know…..and then we think we do , get it and realise we wanted something else. This site is to blame , for the first time in my life I’m refusing more offers of sex than I’m accepting ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
No one can deny the physical differences. That is not sufficient to say that the role of the most muscled makes them superior and worth more. Technology closes the gap somewhat and as we head toward a genderless society 'child rearing' won't be seen as something that a 'weaker' sex does for no recognition. "
I'm saying that in the countries where the most has been done to make everything equal across the board to make everything as close to personal choice as possible, the choices between men and women maximised, they didn't shrink, more men went into physical based fields and more women went into social and people based fields. The complete opposite of what was expected. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change. "
Hane a look at Rwanda, most gender equal country in Africa and I think In 3 or 4 in the world. Very high number of female CFO and FDs amd 50% of all judges are female. Very good place to do business , very little corruption and fraud compared to west Africa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change. "
It actually maximises the split, which is not what they expected at all |
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" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change.
Hane a look at Rwanda, most gender equal country in Africa and I think In 3 or 4 in the world. Very high number of female CFO and FDs amd 50% of all judges are female. Very good place to do business , very little corruption and fraud compared to west Africa "
Very interesting I’ll have to look into that
I wonder why the same effect didn’t happen in Scandinavia countries |
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" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
No one can deny the physical differences. That is not sufficient to say that the role of the most muscled makes them superior and worth more. Technology closes the gap somewhat and as we head toward a genderless society 'child rearing' won't be seen as something that a 'weaker' sex does for no recognition.
I'm saying that in the countries where the most has been done to make everything equal across the board to make everything as close to personal choice as possible, the choices between men and women maximised, they didn't shrink, more men went into physical based fields and more women went into social and people based fields. The complete opposite of what was expected. "
I know what you said. I read it. I understood it.
The point I made was that one role should not be valued over the other. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change. "
We are also talking about women not seeing it as their role, these gender distinctions are so ingrained into our psyche that you are trying to undo centuries of social doctrines which pigeon-hole gender roles. Trying to undo that in a few decades is not going to realise any visible change soon. You only have to look at Afghanistan - Taliban have promised to allow women to be educated to university level - then what?
Same with males undoing centuries of social doctrines are not going to see any radical change anytime soon but it is going faster than with women - talking gender roles and what is manly or not |
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" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change.
We are also talking about women not seeing it as their role, these gender distinctions are so ingrained into our psyche that you are trying to undo centuries of social doctrines which pigeon-hole gender roles. Trying to undo that in a few decades is not going to realise any visible change soon. You only have to look at Afghanistan - Taliban have promised to allow women to be educated to university level - then what?
Same with males undoing centuries of social doctrines are not going to see any radical change anytime soon but it is going faster than with women - talking gender roles and what is manly or not"
But you could also argue that those gender roles come about because of real physical and mental differences between men and woman, and that the studies done in Scandinavia are more evidence that these aren’t roles that can be undone, their just natural parts of how different men and woman’s body/mind are
It’s interesting either way and I’ll be happy to see how things turn out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t think I could be anything other than I am now, I’d hope I’m not confusing or give off mixed messages or signals
Talking about feelings in general I get though, I keep my heart open to other people but I’m pretty guarded on what I let you see in general. But if I make a connection I’ll open up
And let you in.
From chats with you on here Tom I think you’ve always been very open, those you connect with obviously know you on a deeper level "
Thank you and our chats on here have always been very, but yes privately abd with friends I can open up more |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"I don’t think I could be anything other than I am now, I’d hope I’m not confusing or give off mixed messages or signals
Talking about feelings in general I get though, I keep my heart open to other people but I’m pretty guarded on what I let you see in general. But if I make a connection I’ll open up
And let you in.
From chats with you on here Tom I think you’ve always been very open, those you connect with obviously know you on a deeper level
Thank you and our chats on here have always been very, but yes privately abd with friends I can open up more "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change.
We are also talking about women not seeing it as their role, these gender distinctions are so ingrained into our psyche that you are trying to undo centuries of social doctrines which pigeon-hole gender roles. Trying to undo that in a few decades is not going to realise any visible change soon. You only have to look at Afghanistan - Taliban have promised to allow women to be educated to university level - then what?
Same with males undoing centuries of social doctrines are not going to see any radical change anytime soon but it is going faster than with women - talking gender roles and what is manly or not"
It's not, in my opinion, about undoing anything, or anything being engrained, it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people. Of course there is cross over on both sides. But why is that even a bad thing? The majority of men do jobs that women don't want a part of anyway. Why is it that sewage cleaning and waste processing arent pigeon holed fields, but the industries where there are huge financial ladders are?
Afghanistan is a bad example, its a country ruled by religious doctrine in which most men like the way things are.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
But we love them "
I'm not feeling like I love many at the moment, but I'm basing that on boring, rude and idiotic people on here that don't use the English language properly and seem like they've never spoken to a woman before!
The not opening up really frustrates me though. Showing emotion isn't a weakness. |
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" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change.
We are also talking about women not seeing it as their role, these gender distinctions are so ingrained into our psyche that you are trying to undo centuries of social doctrines which pigeon-hole gender roles. Trying to undo that in a few decades is not going to realise any visible change soon. You only have to look at Afghanistan - Taliban have promised to allow women to be educated to university level - then what?
Same with males undoing centuries of social doctrines are not going to see any radical change anytime soon but it is going faster than with women - talking gender roles and what is manly or not
It's not, in my opinion, about undoing anything, or anything being engrained, it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people. Of course there is cross over on both sides. But why is that even a bad thing? The majority of men do jobs that women don't want a part of anyway. Why is it that sewage cleaning and waste processing arent pigeon holed fields, but the industries where there are huge financial ladders are?
Afghanistan is a bad example, its a country ruled by religious doctrine in which most men like the way things are.
"
I’m dying at this, it’s so true
“We need more female CEO!”
“Ok but like 99% of slaughter house employees are male, should we fix that?”
“Ew no we only want good equality not that icky stuff” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change.
We are also talking about women not seeing it as their role, these gender distinctions are so ingrained into our psyche that you are trying to undo centuries of social doctrines which pigeon-hole gender roles. Trying to undo that in a few decades is not going to realise any visible change soon. You only have to look at Afghanistan - Taliban have promised to allow women to be educated to university level - then what?
Same with males undoing centuries of social doctrines are not going to see any radical change anytime soon but it is going faster than with women - talking gender roles and what is manly or not
It's not, in my opinion, about undoing anything, or anything being engrained, it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people. Of course there is cross over on both sides. But why is that even a bad thing? The majority of men do jobs that women don't want a part of anyway. Why is it that sewage cleaning and waste processing arent pigeon holed fields, but the industries where there are huge financial ladders are?
Afghanistan is a bad example, its a country ruled by religious doctrine in which most men like the way things are.
I’m dying at this, it’s so true
“We need more female CEO!”
“Ok but like 99% of slaughter house employees are male, should we fix that?”
“Ew no we only want good equality not that icky stuff”"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me , is guys are infinitely simpler to understand. Women confuse the hell out of me"
We're like onions: with many layers.
I'm sure all women would love to be compared to an onion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" You won't see many women working on the M6 in heavy rain laying power cables.
But isn't that why, we still hold onto gender specific type casts, not that women are not capable - it's just not seen as a woman's role.
My OH can lift a 25kg lighting rig like bag of sugar. 5ft nothing slight of figure. She looks hot in Hi Vis, shorts, steelies, and hard hat
Not according to studies done in the Scandinavian countries, over the last however long, they have done everything possible to make as equal as possible and to eradicate the idea of gender roles and it actually maximised the different choices and roles further.
I was gonna say something similar. We seem to have a really strong belief that gender roles are responsible for so much.
However when you look at countries that try their absolute best to erase these gender roles we see almost no change.
Hane a look at Rwanda, most gender equal country in Africa and I think In 3 or 4 in the world. Very high number of female CFO and FDs amd 50% of all judges are female. Very good place to do business , very little corruption and fraud compared to west Africa "
I love visiting Rwanda… they have healed so much in such a short time… I love everything from there total ban on plastic bags in country. To there compulsory village tidying one Saturday every month.
Prisoners who abscond and are caught start their whole prison sentence again once caught… |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"
it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people.
"
Isn't that exactly what has been done here , typecasting men into one type of role and women into another.
Isn't that the core of the problem - people have been predetermined roles based on gender, of course there is cross-over but isn't that statement based on what we have been lead to believe for centuries that women prefer one type of role and men another.
as said OH capable of lifting 25Kg lighting rig like a bag of sugar but also likes to work with people and just as at home in LBD heels as steelies and Hi Via looks stunning on both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Give a man.
One plate.
One of each dining utensil.
A TV with either streaming services or games.
Access to internet.
We are the least complicated.
In terms of feelings towards men or women. You just need to differeniate whether guys just wanna dip their wick and fall asleep, or actually be romantically attached? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Give a man.
One plate.
One of each dining utensil.
A TV with either streaming services or games.
Access to internet.
We are the least complicated.
In terms of feelings towards men or women. You just need to differeniate whether guys just wanna dip their wick and fall asleep, or actually be romantically attached? "
And guns… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have personally always been very open and expressive in my emotions and thoughts. What I've found however, is that the women I've been in relationships with haven't been comfortable with it.
Also, there is an unspoken pressure on men to always be 'strong' as anything else makes us seem weak. Obviously I believe that's bs, we're all just humans trying to find our way through life.
Personally I don't think there are really many differences between the sexes (aside from the obvious lol), just social conditioning and perhaps how we're raised teaches us to act in certain ways.
That's just my pennies worth, but I've found it very difficult to find a woman who is comfortable with me being open and expressive |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Here's something:
'Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking about, then men spend thinking'.
 |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
You know, I know some incredibly open and emotionally intelligent men. They are either naturally like that OR they have had to learn to express their feelings when needed and they are safe from judgement.
My partner is pretty introvert and it's not his natural way to be as open as I am. I love deep, sharing, revealing, vulnerable chats and connection but our closeness and depth comes from deeply respecting how each person is naturally.. And not asking or expecting for that to change.
As long as we are able to be honest, open when it matters and when it flows. I can be expressive and revealing and he can be introspective without expectation.
He knows he can share anything with me but if he doesnt, it's OK. This way, it actually brings a richer depth of connection.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
You know where I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people.
Isn't that exactly what has been done here , typecasting men into one type of role and women into another.
Isn't that the core of the problem - people have been predetermined roles based on gender, of course there is cross-over but isn't that statement based on what we have been lead to believe for centuries that women prefer one type of role and men another.
as said OH capable of lifting 25Kg lighting rig like a bag of sugar but also likes to work with people and just as at home in LBD heels as steelies and Hi Via looks stunning on both"
No, it's not a problem at all, it's just the way things naturally happen, as seen by the Scandinavian countries trying eradicate those outcomes and exacerbating the outcome. And we haven't been lead to believe anything, it's the way things had to be? If the romans had sent the women out to war, would they have lasted long enough to leave the imprint they did on the globe? The role of men doing the dangerous jobs, the war, the filth, all of it, did THE signal most important thing ever. It put a buffer between the women and children and danger. And that's not to say that that is a division? There's this weird notion that men have trodden on women throughout history, but, the truth is man and woman have stood side by side through the hardest time and circumstances in history and struggled together. Yes, they had different roles, but the same goal. Survival. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people.
Well said
Isn't that exactly what has been done here , typecasting men into one type of role and women into another.
Isn't that the core of the problem - people have been predetermined roles based on gender, of course there is cross-over but isn't that statement based on what we have been lead to believe for centuries that women prefer one type of role and men another.
as said OH capable of lifting 25Kg lighting rig like a bag of sugar but also likes to work with people and just as at home in LBD heels as steelies and Hi Via looks stunning on both
No, it's not a problem at all, it's just the way things naturally happen, as seen by the Scandinavian countries trying eradicate those outcomes and exacerbating the outcome. And we haven't been lead to believe anything, it's the way things had to be? If the romans had sent the women out to war, would they have lasted long enough to leave the imprint they did on the globe? The role of men doing the dangerous jobs, the war, the filth, all of it, did THE signal most important thing ever. It put a buffer between the women and children and danger. And that's not to say that that is a division? There's this weird notion that men have trodden on women throughout history, but, the truth is man and woman have stood side by side through the hardest time and circumstances in history and struggled together. Yes, they had different roles, but the same goal. Survival. "
|
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"
it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people.
Isn't that exactly what has been done here , typecasting men into one type of role and women into another.
Isn't that the core of the problem - people have been predetermined roles based on gender, of course there is cross-over but isn't that statement based on what we have been lead to believe for centuries that women prefer one type of role and men another.
as said OH capable of lifting 25Kg lighting rig like a bag of sugar but also likes to work with people and just as at home in LBD heels as steelies and Hi Via looks stunning on both
No, it's not a problem at all, it's just the way things naturally happen, as seen by the Scandinavian countries trying eradicate those outcomes and exacerbating the outcome. And we haven't been lead to believe anything, it's the way things had to be? If the romans had sent the women out to war, would they have lasted long enough to leave the imprint they did on the globe? The role of men doing the dangerous jobs, the war, the filth, all of it, did THE signal most important thing ever. It put a buffer between the women and children and danger. And that's not to say that that is a division? There's this weird notion that men have trodden on women throughout history, but, the truth is man and woman have stood side by side through the hardest time and circumstances in history and struggled together. Yes, they had different roles, but the same goal. Survival. "
Norsk women were warriors fought alongside the men and some of the most accomplished warriors, Boudica, Joan of Ark. Just to name a few - this was a thread was about how guys are expected to behave in a certain stereo type and the attitude that keeps them there, even today seem the same for women still. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
it's just the case that most men like jobs and activities that revolve around certain physical things, and most women like activities that revolve around people.
Isn't that exactly what has been done here , typecasting men into one type of role and women into another.
Isn't that the core of the problem - people have been predetermined roles based on gender, of course there is cross-over but isn't that statement based on what we have been lead to believe for centuries that women prefer one type of role and men another.
as said OH capable of lifting 25Kg lighting rig like a bag of sugar but also likes to work with people and just as at home in LBD heels as steelies and Hi Via looks stunning on both
No, it's not a problem at all, it's just the way things naturally happen, as seen by the Scandinavian countries trying eradicate those outcomes and exacerbating the outcome. And we haven't been lead to believe anything, it's the way things had to be? If the romans had sent the women out to war, would they have lasted long enough to leave the imprint they did on the globe? The role of men doing the dangerous jobs, the war, the filth, all of it, did THE signal most important thing ever. It put a buffer between the women and children and danger. And that's not to say that that is a division? There's this weird notion that men have trodden on women throughout history, but, the truth is man and woman have stood side by side through the hardest time and circumstances in history and struggled together. Yes, they had different roles, but the same goal. Survival.
Norsk women were warriors fought alongside the men and some of the most accomplished warriors, Boudica, Joan of Ark. Just to name a few - this was a thread was about how guys are expected to behave in a certain stereo type and the attitude that keeps them there, even today seem the same for women still. "
And they never built an empire the size of the romans? Did they? Why? Because their actions endangered both men and women and their children. Just because they can, it doesn't mean they should. If someone booted my door off right now, I would not want Athena next to me, I'd want her grabbing the kids and scooting out the back.
I know exactly what this thread was about, I was one of the first to explain why it occurs and why it is mostly a required and necessary attitude for men to not show signs of weakness. The world may be more advanced technologically today than it has ever been but that doesn't mean that men don't still have to have a get up and keep going attitude to get through life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Late to this.
In my experience men in male only groups open up, are vulnerable and no one judges them. This may be friendships or men's group. I've seen tears. I've seen insecurities expressed. I've seen some deep stuff that will stick with me.
Personally I think the "man up" etc stuff rears it's head more in mixed gender settings. Aka society. And I suspect it's because there is limited benefit in being vulnerable with most women most of the time. From what I can see, it's only really welcomed after there is attraction. But can be an attraction killer of shown too soon.
I also think there is a related syndrome in we don't ascribe emotions as easily to men as women. Look at the " I can't get a meet threads". No-one says, fuck, 50 no replies. That rejection gotta be hard on you."
Rant over. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes "
Ditto with women lol |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Ditto with women lol "
Can’t live with them or without hey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Ditto with women lol
Can’t live with them or without hey "
Such a conundrum |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Ditto with women lol
Can’t live with them or without hey
Such a conundrum "
Lol hey there Paul….it is what it is  |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Ditto with women lol
Can’t live with them or without hey "
Now u know why I’m Bi |
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"Why are men so confusing?
I don’t understand them.
I don’t understand why half of them talk in riddles.
I don’t get why some of them just don’t talk about how/what they’re thinking/feelings.
It’s mentally so draining sometimes
Ditto with women lol
Can’t live with them or without hey
Now u know why I’m Bi "
Taking the best of both worlds |
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Men are predisposed not to show vulnerability aka “weakness” if you seek to truly understand men then first acknowledge and understand this.
Evolution has carved us a niche that is no longer correct. Biology, ancestry, genetics and society conflict. The most successful of our gender are those that are more able, like all species, to adapt, they are agile of thought and action and able to accommodate the evolving role that society presents them. But…..
…this is not the norm and for the majority of the gender this is learned inter-generationally, so some of us find ourselves at an evolutionary dead end and like giant pandas are just holding on…
… we’re holding on. When you understand this, you will understand (most) men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men are predisposed not to show vulnerability aka “weakness” if you seek to truly understand men then first acknowledge and understand this.
Evolution has carved us a niche that is no longer correct. Biology, ancestry, genetics and society conflict. The most successful of our gender are those that are more able, like all species, to adapt, they are agile of thought and action and able to accommodate the evolving role that society presents them. But…..
…this is not the norm and for the majority of the gender this is learned inter-generationally, so some of us find ourselves at an evolutionary dead end and like giant pandas are just holding on…
… we’re holding on. When you understand this, you will understand (most) men "
I like this. Keep on holding on. |
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"Men are predisposed not to show vulnerability aka “weakness” if you seek to truly understand men then first acknowledge and understand this.
Evolution has carved us a niche that is no longer correct. Biology, ancestry, genetics and society conflict. The most successful of our gender are those that are more able, like all species, to adapt, they are agile of thought and action and able to accommodate the evolving role that society presents them. But…..
…this is not the norm and for the majority of the gender this is learned inter-generationally, so some of us find ourselves at an evolutionary dead end and like giant pandas are just holding on…
… we’re holding on. When you understand this, you will understand (most) men
I like this. Keep on holding on."
Sometimes, dear Alder, it is necessary to understand that the only way to truly hold on is to let go, it is in then that we truly become what we are. |
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Men are simple creatures but to get any joy with most women you have to say the right things, do the right things...one wrong move can get you dropped from any prospect of success. It's like trying to play a really difficult computer game. If women were as straightforward and easy to please as men, there'd be a lot more shagging going on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men are predisposed not to show vulnerability aka “weakness” if you seek to truly understand men then first acknowledge and understand this.
Evolution has carved us a niche that is no longer correct. Biology, ancestry, genetics and society conflict. The most successful of our gender are those that are more able, like all species, to adapt, they are agile of thought and action and able to accommodate the evolving role that society presents them. But…..
…this is not the norm and for the majority of the gender this is learned inter-generationally, so some of us find ourselves at an evolutionary dead end and like giant pandas are just holding on…
… we’re holding on. When you understand this, you will understand (most) men
I like this. Keep on holding on.
Sometimes, dear Alder, it is necessary to understand that the only way to truly hold on is to let go, it is in then that we truly become what we are. "
This made me howl a little bit. Im not good at letting go. I have read the fable of The Bridge and know it must be done. |
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