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Favourite insults/quips?
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Best one i heard was from my Boss he had been cut up by a boy racer. But ended up parked next to him in a car park.
Boss got out boy racer got out. boss said to boy racer "hope your not that fast in bed or your girlfriend wouldn't be happy"
Boy racer went bright red his girlfriend who had get out other side was killing her self laughing.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Best one i heard was from my Boss he had been cut up by a boy racer. But ended up parked next to him in a car park.
Boss got out boy racer got out. boss said to boy racer "hope your not that fast in bed or your girlfriend wouldn't be happy"
Boy racer went bright red his girlfriend who had get out other side was killing her self laughing.
"
Brilliant!!! Your boss is an absolute boss |
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By *icknmix500Man
over a year ago
South Gloucestershire |
At a cocktail party a very cocky Argentine playboy made a comment trying to impress two Brit girl's
My Reply
The last time i was this close to a ARGIE he was on the end of my Bayonet !
He left the Party |
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" At a cocktail party a very cocky Argentine playboy made a comment trying to impress two Brit girl's
My Reply
The last time i was this close to a ARGIE he was on the end of my Bayonet !
He left the Party"
I’m not surprised. Way over the top imo!  |
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By *yronMan
over a year ago
grangemouth |
" At a cocktail party a very cocky Argentine playboy made a comment trying to impress two Brit girl's
My Reply
The last time i was this close to a ARGIE he was on the end of my Bayonet !
He left the Party
I’m not surprised. Way over the top imo! "
Agreed. |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
Years ago I was working in an off licence for my sins and a group of teenage guys walked in and started giving me lip, regarding proof of identity.
Soon got fed up of their excuses and wanted them out. So, when my "Can you go please and annoy another shop keeper other than me," went straight over their heads. I followed it up with "You lot are the best advert for condoms, I've ever seen." Which suprisingly also went straight over their heads.  |
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A friend used to be a bouncer. One night while chatting to him he refused some wannabe hardman entry to said club.
The fella said "do you know who my dad is?"
Quick as a shot my friend retorted "mate you don't even know who your dad is." |
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Some of my favourites are from Groucho Marx:
“Next time I see you, remind me not to speak to you.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception!”
“You haven’t stopped talking since I got here, you must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle!”
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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago
the Goldilocks Zone |
Few offerings from NI:
Away and bate yourself...
Shut yer bake ya wee ballix / clampet / ballbag / scrote...
Shut yer yap...
That wee spide sickens ma pish...
She's a scowl that'd turn milk /
face that'd rot a potato...
Aye - Yer ma...
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"Few offerings from NI:
Away and bate yourself...
Shut yer bake ya wee ballix / clampet / ballbag / scrote...
Shut yer yap...
That wee spide sickens ma pish...
She's a scowl that'd turn milk /
face that'd rot a potato...
Aye - Yer ma...
"
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
I think it's one of the "Comic Strip Ones" - Dawn French under a Table with Nigel plainer. I'm paraphrasing here....
"Why don't you shut your mouth and let your arse do the talking!?" |
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