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Utter Bollox (part ?)
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Due to a p.m. I have been urged to start another tell (slight) porkies about the one above. Fooking great whoppers are acceptable though  |
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"Due to a p.m. I have been urged to start another tell (slight) porkies about the one above. Fooking great whoppers are acceptable though "
aww is that the perplexed emoticon your using? |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Was not born on the 5th of March
Has a really nice pussy
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Emoticon |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"Was not born on the 5th of March
Has a really nice pussy
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Emoticon"
prefers to play with pussy emoticons than the real thing |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Prefers listening to 70's band The Real Thing
Wears her tops insideout |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
you to me are everything
only wears his vest when his longjohns are in the wash |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Searches relentlessly for King John the 2nd's Crown Jewels in The Wash
Washes naked outdoor in a kiddies paddling pool |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Has horns that he uses to hook knickers off unsuspecting ladies washing lines  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"lol"
goes mmmmmmmmm when he really should go yeahhhhhhhhhhh babbbbbbbbbbbby  |
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By *eisty1Woman
over a year ago
BBW LAND |
Enjoys digging in allotments while naked lol |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Enjoys digging in allotments while naked lol"
arent we sposed to be fibbing? |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Has horns that he uses to hook knickers off unsuspecting ladies washing lines "
Bribes me to do so as she can sell them on line
Has 5 sugars in her coffee |
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Buys Femmes stolen undies online |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Sniffs Femme's unwashed knickers
Always keeps a Snickers bar in the freezer |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
is really stavros from the kebab shop...(check out the vest) |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
and feeds it leftover kebabs from stavros |
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loves big spiders in the bath!! |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
To prove she was a cider drinker, she dated every member of the band 'the wurzels ' .. |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
Is a member of the wurzels |
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Once gangbanged the wurzels jethro the comedian and reg Presley of the trogs to win the west of England's biggest groupie award
Since been exiled from Cornwall |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
once pretended to be Cliff Richard hoping to get some groupies - all he got were the gospel singers |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
wrote "five hundred miles" for the pretenders,thats how far he went for his last meet,only to get there and she was out |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
and I am still not happy with you
Encourages men to come 500 miles for a meet then switches of the lights and hides |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Got in touch with his inner self today.
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That's the last time he buys Tesco Value toilet roll. |
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Gospel singers are hot
Never uses toilet roll |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
thought douche was the french for two wondered why he kept getting wet when he tried to order beer |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
drinks his beer from a douch bag,says it tastes better |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Will do most things after 2 campari & sodas
Prefers leather to lace but couldn't spell it as her username |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
id frightened to take of his hat as it would show the tentacles (yes tentacles - not testicles) growing from his bald spot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id frightened to take of his hat as it would show the tentacles (yes tentacles - not testicles) growing from his bald spot "
scared to lift his kilt cause everyone will know he's become a soft southerner when they see his woolly undies |
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Having a tryst with an exiled Caledonian
They feed the ducks together in the park |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
went to the Tryst at Stenhousmuir - was disappointing when he found out it was a funfair (in joke for the bairns) |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Eats bairns fae breakfast
Washed down with Irnbru |
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Attends every country fair in the east midlands. Wears a white coat and pretends to be a judge in the sheep competition |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He wants to be the sheep |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"He wants to be the sheep "
is a sheep |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
Has a sheep outfit and travels to the countryside so someone can take her from behind.
This is the truth thread isnt it??
Mwahhh wuv ewe femme  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Has a sheep outfit and travels to the countryside so someone can take her from behind.
This is the truth thread isnt it??
Mwahhh wuv ewe femme "
baaaaaaa
Eats shoots n leaves |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"Has a sheep outfit and travels to the countryside so someone can take her from behind.
This is the truth thread isnt it??
Mwahhh wuv ewe femme baaaaaaa
Eats shoots n leaves "
Pah! def a lie! I dont eat cos I'm dead skinny .
I dont thnk femme has got this thread at all  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Has a sheep outfit and travels to the countryside so someone can take her from behind.
This is the truth thread isnt it??
Mwahhh wuv ewe femme baaaaaaa
Eats shoots n leaves
Pah! def a lie! I dont eat cos I'm dead skinny .
I dont thnk femme has got this thread at all "
Has huge bulls balls |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
[Removed by poster at 04/09/12 23:41:26] |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Is an unsuccessful matador
Always ended up with the horn in her mouth |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Is an unsuccessful matador
Always ended up with the horn in her mouth "
likes to play wild e coyote to my road runner...beep beep! |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
Should have been in Cyote Ugly due to her "meep meep's" aka her hooters.
Oh ffs wrong thread again! Im shit at this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sends messages to herself when her inbox goes quiet |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"Sends messages to herself when her inbox goes quiet "
oh ffs I thought ths was fibs!
Right lady!
She wears elasticated waist slacks when she's out on the pull |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sends messages to herself when her inbox goes quiet oh ffs I thought ths was fibs!
Right lady!
She wears elasticated waist slacks when she's out on the pull "
They work a treat!  |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"Sends messages to herself when her inbox goes quiet oh ffs I thought ths was fibs!
Right lady!
She wears elasticated waist slacks when she's out on the pull
They work a treat! "
(i know but shhhh!)
She also stuffs cushions down her top too, and her real name is jemima jellyfish. |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
Really has a sylph like figure - but disguises it by eating 26 bars of chocolate every day |
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Coats his willy in chocolate and asks women to nibble his twix
They are always disappointed to see nothing more than a chocolate finger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coats his willy in chocolate and asks women to nibble his twix
They are always disappointed to see nothing more than a chocolate finger"
Is secretly fighting the urge to borrow my red lipstick for his avatar |
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Have you got a darker lippy?
Has a pet snail called Gary
Blames it for the trail on the bathroom floor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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likes chocolate coasted willys |
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Licks chocolate coated willies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"likes chocolate coasted willys "
likes his willy dipped in chillis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"keeps a pet tarantula!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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likes it hot and sweaty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"likes it hot and sweaty "
likes it cold |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you got a darker lippy?
Has a pet snail called Gary
Blames it for the trail on the bathroom floor"
You been watching too much sponge bob! And no, sorry, you get what you're given!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you got a darker lippy?
Has a pet snail called Gary
Blames it for the trail on the bathroom floor
You been watching too much sponge bob! And no, sorry, you get what you're given!!"
wants them lips |
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"Have you got a darker lippy?
Has a pet snail called Gary
Blames it for the trail on the bathroom floor
You been watching too much sponge bob! And no, sorry, you get what you're given!!
wants them lips "
Come get them!
Can't get enough of me |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
coated his body in chocolate sauce and invited anyone to lick it off - was very disappointed when everyone ran away laughing |
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Everyone just laughs and points |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Mother to my kids"
Is a goat herder on Clapham Common
Got confused as he prefers Wombles |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Changed his name by deed poll to 'AAA' .... Now claims to be the best arcade gamer in the world. |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
Never did get past the first letter of the alphabet - and stutters too |
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thinks moth balls are gob stoppers! |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Keeps a pet moth in her bra
And ants in her pants |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Keeps a pet moth in her bra
And ants in her pants "
wombles around on wimbledon common |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Plans to run the London Marathon in 6" stilettos
Will need a sat nav |
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is sat in front of fred dibners chimney with two packs of dynamite under his hat! |
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Trying to mount Fred dinners chimney
Taking hypnotherapy to counter her vertigo first |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Went for a job as a chimney sweep
Took Sooty with him to the interview |
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Used soo as a furry mitten
When he had finished he screamed "told you she was gagging for it" |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
uses glove puppents instead of toilet paper - then gives dirty shows |
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plays the banjo for beer on saturdays at the local shopping mall |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
asked the local shopping mall if they could advertise for their club. Were arrested when the set up the bed and invited passer bys to take of their clothes and join in |
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"asked the local shopping mall if they could advertise for their club. Were arrested when the set up the bed and invited passer bys to take of their clothes and join in "
is a mannequin in E.W.M |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Smokes Manekin Cigars
Moonlights as a Groucho Marx impersonator |
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"keith lemmons understudy"
her eyes glow red at midnight! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"keith lemmons understudy
her eyes glow red at midnight!"
im told she really is an ex Russian Spy |
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World record holder for shagging the most Yorkshire terriers at one orgy. The clue to How many is in his username |
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"World record holder for shagging the most Yorkshire terriers at one orgy. The clue to How many is in his username"
is looking forward to winter as he likes to stick his cock in the snow! |
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Makes snow angels with her fanny flaps |
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"Makes snow angels with her fanny flaps"
makes very small eyes in snowmen with his cock! |
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Jap eyes
Only person ever to get frostbitten fanny flaps |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Wears bridget jones knickers and trips the light fandango |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is tee total and doesn't swear |
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"Due to a p.m. I have been urged to start another tell (slight) porkies about the one above. Fooking great whoppers are acceptable though "
the bugger above is pretending he started the lie about the person above thread, its mine i tell you |
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"Jealous of his own silhouette "
i am indeed its quite handsome and better looking than me
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Wears a lady's thong to the beach because his budgie smugglers look like they have flown the nest |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Doubles as the mirror in im snow white but i drifted |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"The reason the mirror crack'd"
your not that fragile surely?
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Has Fraggle Rock box set collection
Treats herself to a 1/4 of Sherbet Pips every payday |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Has Fraggle Rock box set collection
Treats herself to a 1/4 of Sherbet Pips every payday "
one of those is the truth |
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Bribes fraggles with sherbert pips
Still doesn't get a shag |
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Bribes fraggles with sherbert pips
Still doesn't get a shag |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Bribes fraggles with sherbert pips
Still doesn't get a shag"
smells of fraggle and his love tunnel has healed over..... |
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My love tunnel is not for you.
Swears her blue waffle is a sherbert pip montage art installation |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Is a busker outside the Tate Modern Art Gallery
Only takes Dry Roast Peanuts as donations |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Has 100sets of matching vest n pant sets |
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Thinks nobody has noticed the black widow spider perched on her head in her av.
Also has a preference for men in vests |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
drives up and down the motorway looking for roadkill for his dinner |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Favourite song is 2-4-6-8 Motorway
Only lives in Leeds because she ran out of M1 |
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Can only count to nine on his fingers for the same reason that he has love and hat on his fingers |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Eats fish fingers & peas for breakfast
Pee's his pants beforehand though |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
sqibs his damp patch while nicking superanfans spiderman vest |
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Only have a damp patch because of you gag reflex
Sniffs spidermans gusset |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Wears a spiderman outfit
Whilst watching The Jeremy Kyle Show |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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gets his vests from the Sally Army |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They sniff old men's bicycle seats outside the library on weekends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nicks old mens' bicycles from outside the library to stand on to perve over the wall at the old peoples' home |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
thinks the plastic sheeting on the beds in the old peoples home should be standard issue for all - it because they both wear incontinence pants |
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Buys "slightly soiled" incontinence pants from eBay |
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sticks pennies to the floor so he can perv at old ladies bloomers when they bend over to pick them up! |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Goes to the baker's to buy a bloomer
Flashes hers so she can get a freebie |
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"Goes to the baker's to buy a bloomer
Flashes hers so she can get a freebie "
got arrested for buying a frozen chicken and hiding it under his hat! |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Goes to the baker's to buy a bloomer
Flashes hers so she can get a freebie
got arrested for buying a frozen chicken and hiding it under his hat!"
Perfectly legal if I have bought it
Wants a hat just like mine |
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is doing a poo on a portable toilet in front of a brick shit house! |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
Pinched her bra from les Dawson |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Pinches old lady's bums
Then tries to French kiss them |
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secretly admires nottingham forest and often wanks over an old poster of the european cup winning side |
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Makes chicken balti in a window cleaners bucket |
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"Makes chicken balti in a window cleaners bucket"
adds to the spicey kick my good man, if mr reggae reggae sauce can make it so can i with my concoction  |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
Is terrified of flap jacks |
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is the elephant man underneath the maccy d bag |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Is banned from his local McDonalds
Can't flip a burger to save his life |
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Banned from McDonald's buggery in the front window on grimace |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Takes photos of women's behinds when standing behind them on escalators |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
Wears do it yourself peep hole bras |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Wears do it yourself peep hole bras"
Eats snails n puppy dog tails |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Has discovered men have feelings too....
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Hunger for definite... |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Has discovered men have feelings too....
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Hunger for definite..."
Likes dipping by the river for tuna |
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"Has discovered men have feelings too....
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Hunger for definite...Likes dipping by the river for tuna "
wears chicken nuggets as earrings! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
has been doing standup at the local pub as a tommy cooper tribute act.. |
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"has been doing standup at the local pub as a tommy cooper tribute act.."
uses red licqourice torpedoes for lipstick! |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Does extremely kinky things with Twiglets |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"Does extremely kinky things with Twiglets "
licks the twiglets and puts them back into the box.. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Only gets her box out once in a blue moon
Moons at passers by from her Fiat Punto |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
wishes he was a flashy Italian lover - used his Morris Minor to try and pick up ladies |
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thinks windowlene is sex on the beach |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Claims to have Given James dyson a blow job, that's how he came up with the idea for his no loss of suction vacuum, |
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Got turned down by dyson for the blow job gig.
Went crying to Henry
Made him red |
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went on dragons den with his invention for a walking vac named it a byson! |
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Converted hers to power her pneumatic bra.
The suction means she has a cleavage now |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
All was going well at his butcher's apprentice interview.....
Until he demonstrated that he wasn't very clever with his cleaver |
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Don't try his diet tips, especially the one on eating clover |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Recently arrested at airport security after white powder discovered in his undies,
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released after it was discovered it was miracle grow |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
thought talc was a great lubricant - till it caked up and he ended up stuck |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
covered his tackle in chocolate mousse and waves it at women who have PMT ..... |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Staple diet is Dundee Cake
Shares it with his imaginary pigeon friends |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
sprinkled hundreds and thousands over him self in the hope a fairy would take him home. |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
stuffs her bra with fondant icing homing to make herself sweet |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
has been stocking up on chocolate mice to tempt the local cats over as he misunderstood the point of attracting pussies. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Oi, sod off. It took Me & Funky ages to count all those.
We might have a recount next year on our dessert island, must include the custard next time though
You are a Tarot card reader
Buys cheap teabags |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
has a secret shrine to funky in his garage,, full of viles of his belly button fluff.. |
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modelled for john paul gaultiers perfume bottles |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Dreams about Button Moon
Is susceptible to many offers, but only on Thursdays |
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wears a knotted hanky on his head on blackpool beach! |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
is afraid of sand after her first boy fiend tried to have her on the beach after they were rolling about on the sand |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
really disappointed when she went to ride the big one in blackpool... Only to find it a roller coaster |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
thought he could fit the tower up his jackzi after thinking the postcard photo was real size |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Used the random username generator but everything it came up with would have been a complete travesty of justice
Once had a daytrip to Scotch Corner |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
wears high heeled crocs, with the little plastic flowers in them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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strokes tramps faces to get them to smile |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
tried to get a pair of crocs - but sent them back after they bit her toes |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
