FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is connection overrated?
Is connection overrated?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I ask because of comments like:
‘People talk too much on here and don't meet’
‘I’m in your area today for 87minutes, want to meet?’
‘I have an amazing body, we should have sex’
Are more people wanting a connection hence the slower rate of meeting? Is there confusion about the meaning of ‘nsa’?
Its Sunday and I'm musing. Garibaldi anyone?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I need a connection to someone...this doesn’t have to be built over weeks etc. But simply a hot body does nothing for me at all..stimulation starts in the mind so if that’s not happening nothing else will. Don’t get me wrong it could be a handful of exchanges but definitely needed before hand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I have to connect with people on some level, without getting to know someone it's impossible to know if your personalities will gel or if your sexually compatible. If having a conversation puts people off so be it but sexual attraction isn't enough for me to arrange a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For meets a connection is vital. At group events I'm a little more open to strangers just shoving it in and having a go, but 1 on 1 is more intimate. I need to feel comfortable, attracted, be able to talk and laugh etc. Xx |
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No thanks to the garibaldi, I'll have a M and S chocolate chip shortbread though.
For me "connection" means able to chat and laugh without feeling uncomfortable. I need that and no more. Other people need more and some need less.
Nobody is wrong in my opinion. |
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I think most people need some kind of connection ,we are not looking for a emotional connection as we have that and more with each other but we do need to be able to relax and have a laugh and chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ask because of comments like:
‘People talk too much on here and don't meet’
‘I’m in your area today for 87minutes, want to meet?’
‘I have an amazing body, we should have sex’
Are more people wanting a connection hence the slower rate of meeting? Is there confusion about the meaning of ‘nsa’?
Its Sunday and I'm musing. Garibaldi anyone?
"
This is a great question OP.
I always seek an connection first and foremost. If we end up not meeting then I have gained a friend which is awesome.
NSA for me personally means that you are not tied to anyone, have no other expectations of that person. Though I appreciate that there are other interpretations of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ask because of comments like:
‘People talk too much on here and don't meet’
‘I’m in your area today for 87minutes, want to meet?’
‘I have an amazing body, we should have sex’
Are more people wanting a connection hence the slower rate of meeting? Is there confusion about the meaning of ‘nsa’?
Its Sunday and I'm musing. Garibaldi anyone?
"
Why not 90 minutes? An hour and a half? 87 minutes is demeaning! |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Connection is important for us and so if another couple don't want to have a social first we won't meet them, it our rule and a simple one. We have in recent times noticed an increase in the meet now requests but we just politely decline them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For meets a connection is vital. At group events I'm a little more open to strangers just shoving it in and having a go, but 1 on 1 is more intimate. I need to feel comfortable, attracted, be able to talk and laugh etc. Xx"
Love the new profile pic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a Siamese Twin type of connection right down to the very bad What's App connection.
Your personal connectivity may be dependent on a hand even lower than the cards you are playing and during Strip Poker clothes are coming off anyway.
That's the best way I can explain it. |
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I don't think many folks do have sex without connection tbh. Sometimes it's easier achieved than others. I think people are often confused and think connection is trust or that it must be earned or built over time  |
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Back when we were yf&s we both had quite a lot of nsa, one night stands, random encounters whatever you want to call them. These were with people we met in pubs or clubs shared a drink or two, laughed, flirted, fucked and probably never saw again.
That's a connection to me |
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"I ask because of comments like:
‘People talk too much on here and don't meet’
‘I’m in your area today for 87minutes, want to meet?’
‘I have an amazing body, we should have sex’
Are more people wanting a connection hence the slower rate of meeting? Is there confusion about the meaning of ‘nsa’?
Its Sunday and I'm musing. Garibaldi anyone?
"
Connection is important to us.
We aren't looking for NSA we are looking for fwb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ask because of comments like:
‘People talk too much on here and don't meet’
‘I’m in your area today for 87minutes, want to meet?’
‘I have an amazing body, we should have sex’
Are more people wanting a connection hence the slower rate of meeting? Is there confusion about the meaning of ‘nsa’?
Its Sunday and I'm musing. Garibaldi anyone?
"
For me, I can only find that connection (if it's there) through meeting.
I won't talk for long on here. |
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Connection is vital to us.
Everyone is different but we’d never meet anyone who we didn’t feel a connection was there.
Unless it was a scenario we were ticking off our list and C wasn’t to find out but there’d still be conversations between me and the other person(s).
We are looking for top shelf memories and we feel we’d only get that with a deep connection with people.
K |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I need to have some connection with a man to meet,or its a bit awkward.
So I always take it steady and get to know someone a bit, my best meets have come from this.
If someone wants a v fast meet, I know we're not compatible, so it's a good filter really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we go to a club we don’t get / want any connections with people we play with , not going to conduct an interview prior to getting naughty ,it just happens, ( just my opinion ) |
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By *rans-DTV/TS
over a year ago
Wimborne,Dorset |
I guess thats the difference between men and women. As a pre op trans girl who hasn't started hormone treatment yet, I'm still full of testosterone and our brains are wired from the very first time we ejaculate to want to have sex as often as possible. This overwhelming desire to have sex far outweighs the connection conundrum. Darcey x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess thats the difference between men and women. As a pre op trans girl who hasn't started hormone treatment yet, I'm still full of testosterone and our brains are wired from the very first time we ejaculate to want to have sex as often as possible. This overwhelming desire to have sex far outweighs the connection conundrum. Darcey x"
I have noticed this , since basically removing almost all of the testostone in my body.
I mean I was more sexually driven in that way. (Example I could have done quickies with strangers easy) While now my brain still enjoys being sexually driven but it’s way different. I can’t explain. I feel like I need a sort Of connection for sure..
so the whole. I’ve got 20 mins can I pop over? No mate, u can fuck off.
mind blown at the power of hormones |
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"For meets a connection is vital. At group events I'm a little more open to strangers just shoving it in and having a go, but 1 on 1 is more intimate. I need to feel comfortable, attracted, be able to talk and laugh etc. Xx"
This. For a 1 on 1 meet I like at least to have talked/messaged about our mutual likes and dislikes... Got to know someone a bit. Doesn't mean we need to have any feelings for each other but enough of a connection to feel we're likely to have a good time with each other. And just both being physically attracted doesn't guarantee that. For meets I don't really enjoy "fuck and go".
At clubs in more open to play with a stranger especially giving oral. |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
If there is no connection happening via lots of messaging then it's never going to happen for me, if you can't connect with words it's going to be no more than a visit to an escort minus the money element and surely most people want a little more than that? |
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Actually no...connection is about the ability to embrace all that you are and appreciate that for most of your time during conception we were all female and embrace that softer gentler side of us.This is something I embrace every day and people travel a long way to learn to embrace that during time with me.Men and women struggle with the image of who they are meant to be.In truth we just need to be true to ourselves and you will find your life will fall into place and connection will be possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If there is no connection happening via lots of messaging then it's never going to happen for me, if you can't connect with words it's going to be no more than a visit to an escort minus the money element and surely most people want a little more than that? "
Trust me a lot of guys are happy with that release …  |
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There was someone that meets your requirements out there but may not meet your you physical desires without an awful lot of searching but most of all...honesty...but you can find what you seek...I guess a sexual supermarket would be great..can you imagine  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s the clinching factor for me…. Chatting and getting to know someone while planning a date weekend is amazing and exciting. So is the journey to getting there x it’s when you finally meet and see each other, smile and say hi, that first hug and kiss. That’s when we know if our connection is genuine. You feel it like a spark, you see it in each other. Eyes brightening, smiles getting bigger, blushing if you’re lucky!
Without that connection it will just be an enjoyable weekend. But nothing more.
A connection for me is everything  |
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Connection is needed so you can look into their eyes and know that when they say they enjoyed your company they actually mean it the fact you can make them laugh to break the ice mainly to make all parties comfy in each other’s presence |
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It’s most likely an influx of people on here chatting with no intention of meeting, without being honest about it.
Most people that are here to meet will agree that you’ll learn more about a person in a 15 minute social than you will in 6 months of messaging.
So those people will happily find a small connection on here and go for a social.
But over the years the site has changed into more of a social media platform where less and less people actually meet.
This has a knock on effect where people will push quite quickly for a social meet because it sorts out the people here that meet and the people here chasing fabs and validation.
It looks like people care less about a connection, and that’s probably somewhat true, but for me, and many guys, it’s more about sorting through the posers in the most efficient way possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Connection is hugely key for me. I would never do anything without it. Re: FAB, I use the forum purely to chat and I'm very open and upfront about not meeting people (My one experience was terrible so I'm not going down than route again!) |
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Has to be a connection for me.
The build up to everything that’s been spoken about, knowing you get on, always makes for better sex.
Sadly though I think some can just turn it on and tel you want you want to here, meet, then drop you on your arse. Not a nice feeling and makes the walls go up |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"Has to be a connection for me.
The build up to everything that’s been spoken about, knowing you get on, always makes for better sex.
Sadly though I think some can just turn it on and tel you want you want to here, meet, then drop you on your arse. Not a nice feeling and makes the walls go up "
Oh I know that one so well from certain people I've met!
I'm the same I need a bit of a build up before, doesn't have to be an age but a bit of tension built always makes for a better experience for me |
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"Has to be a connection for me.
The build up to everything that’s been spoken about, knowing you get on, always makes for better sex.
Sadly though I think some can just turn it on and tel you want you want to here, meet, then drop you on your arse. Not a nice feeling and makes the walls go up "
Yes that has happened to me on more than one occasion x |
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