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‘Out & proud’ swingers/couples
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I’m looking to hear from those (singles and couples) that are totally open about their lifestyle and who they are.
I’m starting a new job a week on Monday and the last 2 places I was at for a number of years each, everyone knew. Swingfields, naturist hols, the works.
The weird thing is. I can’t really remember HOW I let them in on the knowledge but it was a comfort to me that I never had to lie (I’m a TERRIBLE liar!) and I’d like (maybe in time) to be like that at the next place.
How did you ‘come out’ and are you glad you did?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m open about the way I am...it’s always come out in in general conversation when people talk about this relationship or their ideals. Last time was in the managers meeting when everyone was talking about their current relationship status...so I did the same...I don’t see it any different as to how others decide to conduct relationships  |
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"I’m open about the way I am...it’s always come out in in general conversation when people talk about this relationship or their ideals. Last time was in the managers meeting when everyone was talking about their current relationship status...so I did the same...I don’t see it any different as to how others decide to conduct relationships "
Yes this.
Scenario - “Did your husband take you away this weekend?”
“Nah he was in York with his other lady friend”
That kind of thing. . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m open about the way I am...it’s always come out in in general conversation when people talk about this relationship or their ideals. Last time was in the managers meeting when everyone was talking about their current relationship status...so I did the same...I don’t see it any different as to how others decide to conduct relationships
Yes this.
Scenario - “Did your husband take you away this weekend?”
“Nah he was in York with his other lady friend”
That kind of thing. . "
Lol...time and place but yeah. I really don’t feel like I should have to hide the way that I choose to have relationships....I’m not going to give intimate or sexual details but yeah.. if you want to be honest find the right way to word it. We cannot normalise or remove stigma without being a little open...as long as your comfortable with people knowing and potential questions |
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Swinging came up in a conversation a few years ago at work and most said they thought it was disgusting and genuinely thought it was keys in bowls. I said that maybe some people can separate sex and love and I’d rather have sex with someone as a hobby than golf. Which led to gormless ‘hole in one’ jokes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m totally honest with my friends about leading this lifestyle..
I’ve even told my 20 something daughter as I have nothing to hide & want to model sexual empowerment to my kids and that sex is not taboo or to be ashamed of.. I obviously don’t share the details but she knows I have multiple male friends.
She’s seen my profile & thinks my pics are ace!!
I told my Mum recently as well, as she kept on prying into where I was going, who I was meeting etc… that shut her up & the interrogations have since stopped  |
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I'm totally honest with my children, they know and we have chatted about it, my friends and some work collegues know, but I have always said I am not embarrased by it if I was I wouldn't do it x storm x |
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"I'm totally honest with my children, they know and we have chatted about it, my friends and some work collegues know, but I have always said I am not embarrased by it if I was I wouldn't do it x storm x"
Same! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm curious why people want to let others know about this aspect of their life.
Aside from to shock, titilate or somehow make themselves seem edgy and interesting, I don’t see why it's anyone else's business, especially colleagues or family members |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious why people want to let others know about this aspect of their life.
Aside from to shock, titilate or somehow make themselves seem edgy and interesting, I don’t see why it's anyone else's business, especially colleagues or family members "
It’s none of those… simply put other people talk about their relationships. If we chose to have multiple relationships why is this wrong to discuss or openly say? Why should we have to hide this? It’s not as though you are discussing sexual exploits. |
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"I'm curious why people want to let others know about this aspect of their life.
Aside from to shock, titilate or somehow make themselves seem edgy and interesting, I don’t see why it's anyone else's business, especially colleagues or family members "
I mean, I don't go round telling everyone who I've fucked, how and when but if they ask a question I won't lie.
Maybe it's to normalise sexual openness?
I got asked at work if I wa kwd a guy off on the train home from a night out the other day. I hadn't but we all had a laugh about how good of a girl I was on that night out.
Plus the more open I am about it now (see previous comment) the less it can be used in an attempt to hurt or belittle me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A hugely empowering thread starting here. Imo ENM is kinda like where homosexual relationships were years back, ppl are starting to accept it happens just pls don't mention it.
I hope that will change and so prevent the shame and damage living a hidden life can cause.
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"I'm curious why people want to let others know about this aspect of their life.
Aside from to shock, titilate or somehow make themselves seem edgy and interesting, I don’t see why it's anyone else's business, especially colleagues or family members "
But also because it’s ‘real’. I don’t like lying. It’s like people who are cheating on their wife. Surely there’s only so many imaginary ‘stag do’s’ or whatever they can go on if they wanted a weekend away.
My eldest worked out where I had gone when I went to swingathon - because of the news reports and the geography - much like anyone could have done had I told them.
I suppose it’s like the poster above says ‘if you’re open they can’t make stories up as you are upfront about it. In a way like the way ‘fat Amy’ calls herself ‘Fat Amy’ on pitch perfect.
Why should I lie about something just because it’s not someone else’s cup of tea? I wouldn’t go on a fox hunt or to comic con as they aren’t my scene but someone else might. Xx |
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"A hugely empowering thread starting here. Imo ENM is kinda like where homosexual relationships were years back, ppl are starting to accept it happens just pls don't mention it.
I hope that will change and so prevent the shame and damage living a hidden life can cause.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t hide the lifestyle so to speak, it’s often brought up usually the scenario is when I’m out with friends and then someone I’ve not seen for a long time or met before asks “so are you seeing anyone” …. I’ve found it easier to say I’m swinger than to hide anything… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious why people want to let others know about this aspect of their life.
Aside from to shock, titilate or somehow make themselves seem edgy and interesting, I don’t see why it's anyone else's business, especially colleagues or family members
But also because it’s ‘real’. I don’t like lying. It’s like people who are cheating on their wife. Surely there’s only so many imaginary ‘stag do’s’ or whatever they can go on if they wanted a weekend away.
My eldest worked out where I had gone when I went to swingathon - because of the news reports and the geography - much like anyone could have done had I told them.
I suppose it’s like the poster above says ‘if you’re open they can’t make stories up as you are upfront about it. In a way like the way ‘fat Amy’ calls herself ‘Fat Amy’ on pitch perfect.
Why should I lie about something just because it’s not someone else’s cup of tea? I wouldn’t go on a fox hunt or to comic con as they aren’t my scene but someone else might. Xx"
Absolutely.
We talk openly about different religions and thoughts on such we declare beliefs and talk about sexuality. Why are relationships any different?
I talk with my children about many things and yes naturally relationships are part of this as they grow up and talk about life we discuss gay, lesbian and heterosexual relationships, marriage and long relsationships we also talk about having more than one partner...this came from them so we explored it... surely this is healthy and helps people to grow into who they want to be without stigma and feeling they have to conform |
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We're not open really but then again, it's never really come up as an issue. I think we will need to discuss with our adult son at some point because we think he might have joined that other website and if he decided to go to a club or fetish night, I'd probably prefer not to bump into him  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Luckily because a lot of people at work know I was at football - so how was the football will end the first question
Luckily nobody knows about my nocturnal activities so I will jsut say I got home at 3.30am had a banging evening and it was class -
It doesn’t need any more information than taht |
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We don't hide the fact we're swingers and when discussing hobbies, we sometimes mention it.
We're not quite as out and proud as we'd like to be, due to Caroline's job - hence our face pics are friends only - but most of our work colleagues, friends & family know, and sometimes ask about the scene. |
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I’m very open with my Mum & sister about my lifestyle!
I need them to know that I am safe.
I also have a vanilla friend who gets all the details of who, why, when etc so if anything does happen then there’s at least some start of a trace to my body!
I’ve always been open with boyfriends too, some can handle it, some can’t but that’s life!
It’s part of who I am and they need to accept it or move on!
Pixie x |
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"I'm curious why people want to let others know about this aspect of their life.
Aside from to shock, titilate or somehow make themselves seem edgy and interesting, I don’t see why it's anyone else's business, especially colleagues or family members
But also because it’s ‘real’. I don’t like lying. It’s like people who are cheating on their wife. Surely there’s only so many imaginary ‘stag do’s’ or whatever they can go on if they wanted a weekend away.
My eldest worked out where I had gone when I went to swingathon - because of the news reports and the geography - much like anyone could have done had I told them.
I suppose it’s like the poster above says ‘if you’re open they can’t make stories up as you are upfront about it. In a way like the way ‘fat Amy’ calls herself ‘Fat Amy’ on pitch perfect.
Why should I lie about something just because it’s not someone else’s cup of tea? I wouldn’t go on a fox hunt or to comic con as they aren’t my scene but someone else might. Xx"
Totally agree ..be proud of myself and enjoy what the lifestyle has brought into my life x storm x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious why people want to let others know about this aspect of their life.
Aside from to shock, titilate or somehow make themselves seem edgy and interesting, I don’t see why it's anyone else's business, especially colleagues or family members "
Tbh I wouldn't talk about any relationships either. Suppose I don't want people judging or commenting on any of it, especially in a work environment.
Yep definitely guarded. |
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