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Trusting your instinct?
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
So when you meet new people (whether it is on fabs or outside in the "real" world) - do you trust your initial impression?
Do you find your initial impression is always the right one after you get to know them?
What makes you think you can trust your instinct? |
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It's tough to call because confirmation bias will always creep in.
I've thought someone was lovely only to be proved wrong, but I can't remember a time I've ever thought someone a twat without them proving me right in that belief.
Doesn't mean it's not happened, it just hasn't stuck in my mind. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I am currently working with somebody who initially (through Teams meetings) I thought was a real pratt. Ok, he knew his stuff but came across rather arrogant, condescending and anti women.
Then we had a one to one conversation, which I dreaded as per my initial image of him. I found out a number of things about him including a real insecurity and "imposter syndrome" in bigger meetings. He is actually such a lovely, genuine guy and we have become quite good friends over the last 18 months. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am currently working with somebody who initially (through Teams meetings) I thought was a real pratt. Ok, he knew his stuff but came across rather arrogant, condescending and anti women.
Then we had a one to one conversation, which I dreaded as per my initial image of him. I found out a number of things about him including a real insecurity and "imposter syndrome" in bigger meetings. He is actually such a lovely, genuine guy and we have become quite good friends over the last 18 months. "
I’d say I’m a good judge of character and usually I get it right but occasionally even my gut instinct gets it wrong and I get proven otherwise
Also I totally know what u mean, as people who don’t know me, think I come across as a bitch , snobby and “cold” but it’s really not me, I’m actually quite sweet and bubbly x
You just have to talk to me to find out  |
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I’m pretty much universally disliked on sight. Something about my face apparently. Thankfully, most people thaw out as we communicate.
I really hope people don’t trust first impressions, as the one I make is clearly terrible! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think initial impressions and gut instinct about people are two different things. First impressions are usually with your head not your gut. For me my gut instinct that something is off about someone has always been right so I will never ignore it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think initial impressions and gut instinct about people are two different things. First impressions are usually with your head not your gut. For me my gut instinct that something is off about someone has always been right so I will never ignore it."
Omg totally!! You made a good difference of the two x |
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"I’m pretty much universally disliked on sight. Something about my face apparently. Thankfully, most people thaw out as we communicate.
I really hope people don’t trust first impressions, as the one I make is clearly terrible!"
Not a terrible impression, I would imagine; a lot of women feel threatened or intimidated (not in the bullying sense, just depressingly not feeling able to compete, even when it’s not a competition - speaking from experience here) by a beautiful woman when they meet them. I can’t speak for men, obvs, but putting my empath head on, I would say that a lot of men may feel that they have to be careful in these sad, pc-gone-mad times, not to come across as lechers so try to distance, and even confident men may feel that they’d be punching! You really are that stunning, and I’m well jell! Lucky girl! *luv* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If its safety your talking abiut I would say always trust your instinct, it's what keeps us safe.
If its people then that's different. Layers of people are crazy and need breaking down.
I like to know the person before rudies haha x |
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"I’m pretty much universally disliked on sight. Something about my face apparently. Thankfully, most people thaw out as we communicate.
I really hope people don’t trust first impressions, as the one I make is clearly terrible!"
I think you have a very friendly, happy looking face....
And stunningly beautiful x |
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By *ettaManMan
over a year ago
Based in Kerry, work in Cork. |
As was mentioned, our instincts are there to protect us and help us survive. As a result, we will often get a lot of false positives when it comes to identifying 'threats' or just twats.
Since the cost of dismissing a potential true positive is so high, we will tend to listen to our instincts. This can give us a skewed perception of the accuracy of our instincts, where we believe them to be more accurate than they are.
Then there is the issue of context, as you have alluded to, where you always encountered the person in a given situation. As it turned out, it was the persons own fears and insecurities that causes them to behave in a certain way. This is true for most people. It is usually subconscious conditioning that is at play.
Our instincts are there to help us survive, not necessarily to thrive. In fact, they can inhibit our thriving bcos they can make us avoid situations which would be good for us, which would be educational, which would help us to grow. They are designed to keep us in our comfort zone.
If we can learn to become aware of and question our instincts in lower danger situations we can benefit from the that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If my instinct is that there's something off about them then I don't bother giving it the benefit of the doubt. Guess I don't find out on here if my instinct was right or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to be honest though I find it more difficult online and definitely question if they are as genuine as they make out. But I've always been spot on with my initial thoughts about pretty much everyone I've met face to face. |
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"I think initial impressions and gut instinct about people are two different things. First impressions are usually with your head not your gut. For me my gut instinct that something is off about someone has always been right so I will never ignore it."
Exactly this  . Always trust my gut instinct. If something doesn't feel right, then there's something not quite right... |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I think initial impressions and gut instinct about people are two different things. First impressions are usually with your head not your gut. For me my gut instinct that something is off about someone has always been right so I will never ignore it."
I like this distinction - even though perhaps they go hand in hand in the early stages? My gut instinct felt a tiny bit threatened by this guy I am working with but I also thought he was a bit of a prat. As it turned out, I did not need to feel threatened.
Love the distinction though - makes the whole thing a lot clearer. |
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"I’m pretty much universally disliked on sight. Something about my face apparently. Thankfully, most people thaw out as we communicate.
I really hope people don’t trust first impressions, as the one I make is clearly terrible!
Not a terrible impression, I would imagine; a lot of women feel threatened or intimidated (not in the bullying sense, just depressingly not feeling able to compete, even when it’s not a competition - speaking from experience here) by a beautiful woman when they meet them. I can’t speak for men, obvs, but putting my empath head on, I would say that a lot of men may feel that they have to be careful in these sad, pc-gone-mad times, not to come across as lechers so try to distance, and even confident men may feel that they’d be punching! You really are that stunning, and I’m well jell! Lucky girl! *luv*"
It is women who are unfriendly, you're spot on! ‘You have evil eyes', is the most common comment!
Thank you for your lovely words, and don’t be jell; it’s amazing what false eyelashes and lighting can achieve! |
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