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You really can be both!!
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Trying to get into breaking a stereotype which I have seen on a number of threads; I guess it is human to associate people of certain traits/ behaviours with other people of similar traits/behaviours.
What I am talking about here (REALLY JUST ONE EXAMPLE, this is not about whether you are for or against vaccination) is things like if you are against vaccinations you are also considered to be right wing. Or as I saw on another thread you can be "anti royalty" but still against being "lynch justice against Prince Andrew".
In my world you can be any number of things and while they seem mutually exclusive to some, they are not to others.
My examples:
1. I am for (Covid) vaccinations but I am also for the freedom not to have them without being marginalised by society.
2. I am not religious in any shape or form but I do attend services for the benefit of others e.g. the widow of a former work colleague.
Hope this makes sense - not about anything in particular but more about trying to gap the binary divisions? |
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"Trying to get into breaking a stereotype which I have seen on a number of threads; I guess it is human to associate people of certain traits/ behaviours with other people of similar traits/behaviours.
What I am talking about here (REALLY JUST ONE EXAMPLE, this is not about whether you are for or against vaccination) is things like if you are against vaccinations you are also considered to be right wing. Or as I saw on another thread you can be "anti royalty" but still against being "lynch justice against Prince Andrew".
In my world you can be any number of things and while they seem mutually exclusive to some, they are not to others.
My examples:
1. I am for (Covid) vaccinations but I am also for the freedom not to have them without being marginalised by society.
2. I am not religious in any shape or form but I do attend services for the benefit of others e.g. the widow of a former work colleague.
Hope this makes sense - not about anything in particular but more about trying to gap the binary divisions? "
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Yes I totally get this! I’m the same with the vaccine. I’ve had it but believe it’s everyone’s personal decision.
I’m not religious but took my Nan to church every Sunday when she was alive as otherwise she couldn’t go.
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Im not religious either. Im very much against it. Yet, I'm godfather to 3 children. I refuse to sing the hymns, but have to say the ceremony words for obvious reasons.  "
You are being respectful to the parents (and children) without forcing your beliefs onto them. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Agreed. Not the same but
You can be beautiful and a nice person.
"
Actually that is a great example because so often attractive people, men and women are thought of as less competent in a job, less intelligent AND less pleasant as people.
It is not fair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the best definition I've ever seen of a good mind is one which can hold two conflicting opinions at the same time.
The main reason I'm so turned off my contemporary politics is the tribalism and binary dynamic. The most interesting and intelligent people I've ever met have held a good mix of opinions from small c conservative on some issues to extremely radical on others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope. I disagree totally. We should all be put in boxes and be judged not on our actions but by the last thing we put on Facebook.
Otherwise we are in danger of peace and harmony. Heaven forbid! |
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"Agreed. Not the same but
You can be beautiful and a nice person.
Actually that is a great example because so often attractive people, men and women are thought of as less competent in a job, less intelligent AND less pleasant as people.
It is not fair. "
It isn't fair. I see a lot of that attitude on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only people who shouldn't be getting a covid jab are those who have the correct medical advice to not take part, everyone else who's eligible should be taking it.
The question of whether they be marginalised is all on them, they're the ones spouting their Facebook researched reasons as to why they're not be taking it so why should I give them a 2nd thought.
On the question of not eing religious but still go to church because you're supporting a friend or a relative, how is that contradictory? My family know I'm atheist, yet none of them say anything when I attend a funeral or wedding etc as it's got fuck all relevance to my lack of belief.
To me it's not a question being two things at once as the examples quoted aren't mutually exclusive. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"The only people who shouldn't be getting a covid jab are those who have the correct medical advice to not take part, everyone else who's eligible should be taking it.
The question of whether they be marginalised is all on them, they're the ones spouting their Facebook researched reasons as to why they're not be taking it so why should I give them a 2nd thought.
On the question of not eing religious but still go to church because you're supporting a friend or a relative, how is that contradictory? My family know I'm atheist, yet none of them say anything when I attend a funeral or wedding etc as it's got fuck all relevance to my lack of belief.
To me it's not a question being two things at once as the examples quoted aren't mutually exclusive."
Well, I believe the first one is a good example but it is not what I wanted to be the focus on as there are other (painful to read at times) threads which address the vaxxers/ non vaxxers and what should be done.
For me it is about supporting the general idea (vaccination in this case) and at the same time being tolerant towards those who won't have it for whatever reason.
The second example is about having perhaps strong beliefs (or strong anti-beliefs) and still going to a place of worship and taking part which is possible in my world - for others it might be more difficult.
I guess for me this thread is about that tolerance, of being able to acknowledge that not every tory is a dickhead, not every labour MP is a saint... just another example.
Please feel free to give some examples that illustrate the point that you can be for example "smart and good-looking" ? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I think the best definition I've ever seen of a good mind is one which can hold two conflicting opinions at the same time.
The main reason I'm so turned off my contemporary politics is the tribalism and binary dynamic. The most interesting and intelligent people I've ever met have held a good mix of opinions from small c conservative on some issues to extremely radical on others."
Spot on - you summed it up brilliantly. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Agreed. I’d call this simply being an open minded, tolerant person."
Absolutely - and also it is possible to be an open-minded person by and large, and yet have pockets of blindspots where one can be really narrow-minded, e.g. when it comes ot racism, ust as an example. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Nope. I disagree totally. We should all be put in boxes and be judged not on our actions but by the last thing we put on Facebook.
Otherwise we are in danger of peace and harmony. Heaven forbid! "
You can be sensible AND sarcastic! |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Totally agree OP
So many topics on the forums (and in society at large) are presented as false dichotomies.
I’m a big fan of non dual thinking "
You know when I grew up, the world was black and white, safe secure categories in which a young person can find some sense of safety even though that safety is an illusion for reality is anything but.
Then I grew up bit by bit, and realised that there are no real black and white/ either or scenarios but the world is really a multi-chromatic place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally agree OP
So many topics on the forums (and in society at large) are presented as false dichotomies.
I’m a big fan of non dual thinking
You know when I grew up, the world was black and white, safe secure categories in which a young person can find some sense of safety even though that safety is an illusion for reality is anything but.
Then I grew up bit by bit, and realised that there are no real black and white/ either or scenarios but the world is really a multi-chromatic place? "
I don't understand people who can't see the greys, they only see black and white. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Totally agree OP
So many topics on the forums (and in society at large) are presented as false dichotomies.
I’m a big fan of non dual thinking
You know when I grew up, the world was black and white, safe secure categories in which a young person can find some sense of safety even though that safety is an illusion for reality is anything but.
Then I grew up bit by bit, and realised that there are no real black and white/ either or scenarios but the world is really a multi-chromatic place?
I don't understand people who can't see the greys, they only see black and white. "
Love the avatar!
I genuinely cannot understand how they cannot see what I see. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only people who shouldn't be getting a covid jab are those who have the correct medical advice to not take part, everyone else who's eligible should be taking it.
The question of whether they be marginalised is all on them, they're the ones spouting their Facebook researched reasons as to why they're not be taking it so why should I give them a 2nd thought.
On the question of not eing religious but still go to church because you're supporting a friend or a relative, how is that contradictory? My family know I'm atheist, yet none of them say anything when I attend a funeral or wedding etc as it's got fuck all relevance to my lack of belief.
To me it's not a question being two things at once as the examples quoted aren't mutually exclusive.
Well, I believe the first one is a good example but it is not what I wanted to be the focus on as there are other (painful to read at times) threads which address the vaxxers/ non vaxxers and what should be done.
For me it is about supporting the general idea (vaccination in this case) and at the same time being tolerant towards those who won't have it for whatever reason.
The second example is about having perhaps strong beliefs (or strong anti-beliefs) and still going to a place of worship and taking part which is possible in my world - for others it might be more difficult.
I guess for me this thread is about that tolerance, of being able to acknowledge that not every tory is a dickhead, not every labour MP is a saint... just another example.
Please feel free to give some examples that illustrate the point that you can be for example "smart and good-looking" ? "
The bit were you claim to have "strong anti-beliefs" and yet still take part in church services isn't an example of being able to hold two thoughts at the same time, it's at least disprectful to those who do believe and worst hypocritical.
If I attend a place of worship it's to support a friend or family member at which I'll maintain a dignified silence while not taking any part in the proceeds.
Being able to acknowledge not all Tory MPs are bad and not all Labour MPs are saints doesn’t work for me either, I'd say anyone would be a bit naive to think otherwise, though I can see what you're trying to get at.
I could say Boris Johnson is a terrible prime minister who gives not one fuck about anything other than himself, though I'd bet he'd be a great drinking partner.
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I’m loving this OP, well said! For me I see life as not being fixed or rigid, it’s flexible and always changing! If you have an open mind, you see the grey areas not just the black and white. How great is it to have a discussion with someone with an opposing opinion, I love that, just so interesting to hear other people views on things without voice raising or argument. Gives you something to think about. I’ve been vegetarian for over 30yrs, but cook my children meat every day! The smell makes me puke and it conflicts with my view on meat eating, however I am hopefully raising my children in an open minded environment, one where they know they can make their own minds up on without feeling pressured or judged! Oops dyslexic rambling again, I could go on haha! Miss PC x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always do my best to understand where someone else is coming from, even if their thoughts & processes don't match mine
I've never really fallen out with anyone over, for example, a principle because I don't expect nor want everyone elses principles to align with my own
I don't think I'm soft or (dare I use the word), a 'snowflake', I just come at it largely from a position of indifference
i.e. I'll do what's right for me, you do what's right for you
Sometimes, you have to flex your own feelings for the benefit of others
I'm gonna give the example of 'Princess Weddings'
I think they're OTT and there's a whole overpriced industry built around them, but if that is what someone wants, let them live their dream and even be a part of that dream
It's just that I prefer a registry office, 10 minutes, no faff, job done, but it's not my wedding |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"The only people who shouldn't be getting a covid jab are those who have the correct medical advice to not take part, everyone else who's eligible should be taking it.
The question of whether they be marginalised is all on them, they're the ones spouting their Facebook researched reasons as to why they're not be taking it so why should I give them a 2nd thought.
On the question of not eing religious but still go to church because you're supporting a friend or a relative, how is that contradictory? My family know I'm atheist, yet none of them say anything when I attend a funeral or wedding etc as it's got fuck all relevance to my lack of belief.
To me it's not a question being two things at once as the examples quoted aren't mutually exclusive.
Well, I believe the first one is a good example but it is not what I wanted to be the focus on as there are other (painful to read at times) threads which address the vaxxers/ non vaxxers and what should be done.
For me it is about supporting the general idea (vaccination in this case) and at the same time being tolerant towards those who won't have it for whatever reason.
The second example is about having perhaps strong beliefs (or strong anti-beliefs) and still going to a place of worship and taking part which is possible in my world - for others it might be more difficult.
I guess for me this thread is about that tolerance, of being able to acknowledge that not every tory is a dickhead, not every labour MP is a saint... just another example.
Please feel free to give some examples that illustrate the point that you can be for example "smart and good-looking" ?
The bit were you claim to have "strong anti-beliefs" and yet still take part in church services isn't an example of being able to hold two thoughts at the same time, it's at least disprectful to those who do believe and worst hypocritical.
If I attend a place of worship it's to support a friend or family member at which I'll maintain a dignified silence while not taking any part in the proceeds.
Being able to acknowledge not all Tory MPs are bad and not all Labour MPs are saints doesn’t work for me either, I'd say anyone would be a bit naive to think otherwise, though I can see what you're trying to get at.
I could say Boris Johnson is a terrible prime minister who gives not one fuck about anything other than himself, though I'd bet he'd be a great drinking partner.
"
I think we have to agree to disagree |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I’m loving this OP, well said! For me I see life as not being fixed or rigid, it’s flexible and always changing! If you have an open mind, you see the grey areas not just the black and white. How great is it to have a discussion with someone with an opposing opinion, I love that, just so interesting to hear other people views on things without voice raising or argument. Gives you something to think about. I’ve been vegetarian for over 30yrs, but cook my children meat every day! The smell makes me puke and it conflicts with my view on meat eating, however I am hopefully raising my children in an open minded environment, one where they know they can make their own minds up on without feeling pressured or judged! Oops dyslexic rambling again, I could go on haha! Miss PC x"
Thank you and the example of being vegetarian and cooking meat for your kids is a great one where you are holding two contradictory values without judgment. I think as a mum I would do the same, in fact I did for a while when we avoided meat. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I always do my best to understand where someone else is coming from, even if their thoughts & processes don't match mine
I've never really fallen out with anyone over, for example, a principle because I don't expect nor want everyone elses principles to align with my own
I don't think I'm soft or (dare I use the word), a 'snowflake', I just come at it largely from a position of indifference
i.e. I'll do what's right for me, you do what's right for you
Sometimes, you have to flex your own feelings for the benefit of others
I'm gonna give the example of 'Princess Weddings'
I think they're OTT and there's a whole overpriced industry built around them, but if that is what someone wants, let them live their dream and even be a part of that dream
It's just that I prefer a registry office, 10 minutes, no faff, job done, but it's not my wedding"
I do not often fall out with people either - and re your princess wedding example, I would say if for example my daughter desperately wanted the pomp, I would go along with it but I would probably try to make her see how vacuous the whole thing is. That said, she would not want it as she thinks very much like me. |
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As long as people respect my wishes I will respect theres.
With covid vacine its down to there choice or with evidence on what they want to choose.
Im not religious but respect there wishes in there presence.
I have attended clubs or events run by the church theyve been fun and enjoyed whilst there.
Theyve also respected my wish that im not a church goer so not drilled it down my throat.
Ive attended enough weddings with friends or partners and enjoyed the event.
The hugs and kisses from people I dont know and there friendlyness of them. |
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"Trying to get into breaking a stereotype which I have seen on a number of threads; I guess it is human to associate people of certain traits/ behaviours with other people of similar traits/behaviours.
What I am talking about here (REALLY JUST ONE EXAMPLE, this is not about whether you are for or against vaccination) is things like if you are against vaccinations you are also considered to be right wing. Or as I saw on another thread you can be "anti royalty" but still against being "lynch justice against Prince Andrew".
In my world you can be any number of things and while they seem mutually exclusive to some, they are not to others.
My examples:
1. I am for (Covid) vaccinations but I am also for the freedom not to have them without being marginalised by society.
2. I am not religious in any shape or form but I do attend services for the benefit of others e.g. the widow of a former work colleague.
Hope this makes sense - not about anything in particular but more about trying to gap the binary divisions? "
Very well said x |
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