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Menopause - how did your sex life survive?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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12 months in now and my wife's sex drive has all but gone.
With body image issues as well (she's bbw and i do mean beautiful) but is self conscious and sex is a 5 - 10 times a year if we're lucky thing.
Did anyone else experience similar? Did it ever return?
And yes - that's why I am here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"12 months in now and my wife's sex drive has all but gone.
With body image issues as well (she's bbw and i do mean beautiful) but is self conscious and sex is a 5 - 10 times a year if we're lucky thing.
Did anyone else experience similar? Did it ever return?
And yes - that's why I am here. "
Sorry to hear that.
I've probably been going through hormonal changes during the last few years and the tiredness and forgetfulness is a couple of major factors. Still got the monthlies. However, I'd be absolutely devastated should I lose my libido cos that's not waning any time soon (thankfully).
We're all here for different reasons by the way.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"12 months in now and my wife's sex drive has all but gone.
With body image issues as well (she's bbw and i do mean beautiful) but is self conscious and sex is a 5 - 10 times a year if we're lucky thing.
Did anyone else experience similar? Did it ever return?
And yes - that's why I am here. "
I've seen on other menopause threads, that some ladies benefited from HRT - eventually bringing back their libido. |
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"Is she taking hrt? "
I've only just starting taking HRT - 2 weeks in - and the mood swings are horrendous! I've been post menopausal for a good 2 yrs now & have never noticed any change in libido. I only decided to give HRT a go for the hot flushes.....x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is she taking hrt?
I've only just starting taking HRT - 2 weeks in - and the mood swings are horrendous! I've been post menopausal for a good 2 yrs now & have never noticed any change in libido. I only decided to give HRT a go for the hot flushes.....x
"
It’s really important for other things too,
It can help prevent osteoporosis and some cancers.
Did you watch the Davina documentary? |
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"Is she taking hrt?
I've only just starting taking HRT - 2 weeks in - and the mood swings are horrendous! I've been post menopausal for a good 2 yrs now & have never noticed any change in libido. I only decided to give HRT a go for the hot flushes.....x
It’s really important for other things too,
It can help prevent osteoporosis and some cancers.
Did you watch the Davina documentary?"
No, I've not seen it. Was it good?
I must watch it. Thanks, Lovely xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is she taking hrt?
I've only just starting taking HRT - 2 weeks in - and the mood swings are horrendous! I've been post menopausal for a good 2 yrs now & have never noticed any change in libido. I only decided to give HRT a go for the hot flushes.....x
"
Did u try speak to your doctor to see if adding progesterone might counter balance the effects from
Estrogen only HRT?
Ive been on for different reasons but I’ll be damned I haven’t felt this good ever
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Currently going through a medically induced menopause which is sucky bit it's in an attempt to control my hormonal level.
Im just as horny as before, more so if anything.
My advice from a woman's perspective, treat her with love and kindness and romance her a bit. Not for any reason but just to show her you care.
A random bunch of flowers / chocolate/ taking her for a romantic date, even just tidying up.
I know sound cliche but it will make her feel wanted.
Then communicate about wants , needs and desires. Who knows what could happen.
Going through it myself I admit it's crappy at times and sometimes you just want to feel appreciated and loved.
All the best x |
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Get her to speak to her GP.
Get them to refer her to the nearest menopause clinic.
They can give her the correct treatment and medication including testogel to get her back to feeling her old self.
Don't take no for an answer, they are amazing. |
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"I was one of the lucky ones and sailed through the menopause with minimal symptoms and my libido has increased, but then my mum says I'm not normal!
Hugs to everyone suffering x"
I was the same. No weight gain or even a flush. I know I am lucky. Sex drive has never been better. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Support, being understanding and not putting pressure on her. The menopause was a bad time with mood swings, hot flushes (tropical moments as we called them) and general tiredness and God knows what else. I am no expert all I could do was be supportive. |
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By *nly4funMan
over a year ago
Nottingham |
This is exactly where I am at. The Mrs and I used to be at it like rabbits. Since the menopause however, penetrative sex has become painful for her and she has shut down. She won’t engage in oral. Passionate kissing is also gone. Anything that might lead to any desire has ended for her - presumably as mental protection.
My needs and desires have not changed. I still desire her and the loss of that side of our relationship is heartbreaking. What should I do? Continue to ignore how this is making me feel until it boils over into a massive marriage ending bust up and lose my soul mate and best friend in one go??!! Or perhaps take an occasional opportunity for release, especially if I can find a similarly minded FWB (no emotional commitment is important cos I do not intend to betray her emotionally).
I’m still not sure what to do. I did have a FWB for a while but COVID ended that. And was a massive help - we both needed an occasional release and someone to share our load bit neither wanted more.
I wish there was a way to make things right with the Mrs but until there’s a medical intervention that would cure her condition there’s no chance of that.
I guess I will have to remain conflicted and resilient and if I am to continue exploring without ripping apart my family, very very careful too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She already takes ustrogel and progestorone (excuse spellings) but I'm not and she's not seeing any benefit yet? "
Get her to speak to her doctor about taking testosterone too, some menopausal ladies also need a boost with this and can do wonders for the sex drive x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She already takes ustrogel and progestorone (excuse spellings) but I'm not and she's not seeing any benefit yet? "
Maybe it could be the ustrogel that might not be enough? There’s pills and patches too so maybe it’s worth for her to see if she can switch and see if it works better? X
I know in the US they do injections of estro but I think it’s not legal in the U.K, as that’s estro in gold form lol
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you. I know she's due a review so we'll see if that comes up. "
It's unlikely to. Most doctors are ignorant when it comes to menopause unless it's a specialist area for them. If she's struggling get her to ask to see a menopause specialist or I'd suggest seeing a private one
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow. Thank you all.
Your replies really help.
"
Op, use reply + quote
Testosterone can make all the difference, but apparently it’s extremely difficult to get doctors to prescribe it, worth a try though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you. I know she's due a review so we'll see if that comes up.
It's unlikely to. Most doctors are ignorant when it comes to menopause unless it's a specialist area for them. If she's struggling get her to ask to see a menopause specialist or I'd suggest seeing a private one
"
150% about going private |
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"Thank you. I know she's due a review so we'll see if that comes up.
It's unlikely to. Most doctors are ignorant when it comes to menopause unless it's a specialist area for them. If she's struggling get her to ask to see a menopause specialist or I'd suggest seeing a private one
"
It's not necessary to go private.
You will pay silly money for treatment that you can get on the NHS but its hard to get referred unfortunately. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Wow. Thank you all.
Your replies really help.
Op, use reply + quote
Testosterone can make all the difference, but apparently it’s extremely difficult to get doctors to prescribe it, worth a try though? "
It is I had to go private |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow. Thank you all.
Your replies really help.
Op, use reply + quote
Testosterone can make all the difference, but apparently it’s extremely difficult to get doctors to prescribe it, worth a try though?
It is I had to go private"
Sadly, I’ve heard that a lot recently. I’m hoping I don’t need hrt yet, but I’ve been researching it. |
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My wife as been like this for the last 9 years no sex,no loving nothing,I’ve tried everything you can think of,flowers,chocolate jewellery even brought a place on the coast,we used to be every morning and night,now it’s like we are just friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife as been like this for the last 9 years no sex,no loving nothing,I’ve tried everything you can think of,flowers,chocolate jewellery even brought a place on the coast,we used to be every morning and night,now it’s like we are just friends."
Maybe she’s just not a sexual person? Or, sorry to say, not attracted to you anymore?
Like stuff like this happens. Did you guys talk about it or swept it under the carpet? |
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Menopause, even if a woman has few symptoms, often changes you sexually Usually it takes longer to become aroused, sometimes penetration is less comfortable, often you need to use lube. This means that your partner needs to adjust to these changes too.
If possible open discussion is best. |
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