FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > "So when are you free?"
"So when are you free?"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why does this question always manage to kill any promising conversation? (off here too)
Are you asking or is it when you're asked? "
When I'm asking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does this question always manage to kill any promising conversation? (off here too)
Are you asking or is it when you're asked?
When I'm asking "
This site is rammed with flakes. I've been stood up/ ghosted and messed around soooo many more times than having actual meets.
Youre hotter than July so as clichéd as it sounds "it's their loss". I'm finding my fun at clubs and events these days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life "
Least you're finding out they don't meet....
Separating the boys from the men! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life "
Awww hugs I would say your definitely worth the effort I know how hard it can be when you get let down
I have done it my self pulled profile and throwing everything away so hugs to you |
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I have a similar issue, and sometimes it happens after we've met for a social: they still seem keen but won't commit to meeting up, just spit their dummy when I meet someone else.
Better to find they're a no-show before you're at a venue waiting for them to arrive I guess, but I feel your frustration. |
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life "
It’s nothing to do you lovely, it’s just there are a lot of people on here who are all talk and have no intention of actually meeting anyone. It happens to us all at some point and it does knock your confidence but we just have to forget about them and move on.
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes they never intended to meet, they just wanted to fantasise.
You burst their bubble when you ask that question.
It's not just guys though.
Some women do it as well.
 "
I'm sure everyone does. I even pre-warn people in my bio that I do this lol. But I never talk about meeting, I just go straight in with the filth  |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Sometimes they never intended to meet, they just wanted to fantasise.
You burst their bubble when you ask that question.
It's not just guys though.
Some women do it as well.
I'm sure everyone does. I even pre-warn people in my bio that I do this lol. But I never talk about meeting, I just go straight in with the filth "
Feel free to fill my inbox with filth anytime.  |
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life "
Thank fuck it ain’t just me |
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"Because being free and actually wanting to use that free time to prepare for sex, travel there and be in the mood for it are entirely different things. "
Spot on. Hate it when guys would say ‘you are free tonight, so why don’t you want to meet’ ….. I might be, but I also have other interests outside of here or sometimes I just want to enjoy the quiet time alone ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why does this question always manage to kill any promising conversation? (off here too)
Are you asking or is it when you're asked?
When I'm asking
This site is rammed with flakes. I've been stood up/ ghosted and messed around soooo many more times than having actual meets.
Youre hotter than July so as clichéd as it sounds "it's their loss". I'm finding my fun at clubs and events these days."
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life
Least you're finding out they don't meet....
Separating the boys from the men!"
I know but I always get my hopes up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life
Awww hugs I would say your definitely worth the effort I know how hard it can be when you get let down
I have done it my self pulled profile and throwing everything away so hugs to you "
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a similar issue, and sometimes it happens after we've met for a social: they still seem keen but won't commit to meeting up, just spit their dummy when I meet someone else.
Better to find they're a no-show before you're at a venue waiting for them to arrive I guess, but I feel your frustration."
Yeah I met someone (who's not on here anymore) for a social once and every time I tried to arrange something after he'd agree to it then ghost me nearer the time, and pop back up after the agreed date with his excuses. The thing is he used really personal, sensitive family stuff that would make me look like a monster if I questioned it, so I would just accept his apologies and try again. After 3 or 4 times I finally snapped and told him I wasn't interested anymore and he totally made me out to be the asshole and made me feel like shit. I swear this is a form of gaslighting? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes they never intended to meet, they just wanted to fantasise.
You burst their bubble when you ask that question."
I know there's loads of fantasists on here, but some guys come across so genuine it's hard not to get reeled in. This happens across other apps too btw, not just on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life
It’s nothing to do you lovely, it’s just there are a lot of people on here who are all talk and have no intention of actually meeting anyone. It happens to us all at some point and it does knock your confidence but we just have to forget about them and move on.
Kx"
Thank you xx
I feel like it's gotten even worse since covid though? People only really want online connections these days, it's like we've forgotten how to do things in real life... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life "
Well i dont see why anyone wouldnt meet up with you. Unless you said that you was going to tie them up and peg them with no lubrication. Then that is a very acquired taste. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because being free and actually wanting to use that free time to prepare for sex, travel there and be in the mood for it are entirely different things.
Spot on. Hate it when guys would say ‘you are free tonight, so why don’t you want to meet’ ….. I might be, but I also have other interests outside of here or sometimes I just want to enjoy the quiet time alone ! "
I'd never force someone to use their free time to meet me if they want to do other stuff, nor do I ever ask for short notice meets. I always ask them when they're free and try to accommodate around that. I think it's the actual fact of them realising that I'm fully intending to meet that scares them off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life
Well i dont see why anyone wouldnt meet up with you. Unless you said that you was going to tie them up and peg them with no lubrication. Then that is a very acquired taste."
Ohhhhh is that where I'm going wrong then? 
 |
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By *LiamMan
over a year ago
Midlands |
"Because being free and actually wanting to use that free time to prepare for sex, travel there and be in the mood for it are entirely different things.
Spot on. Hate it when guys would say ‘you are free tonight, so why don’t you want to meet’ ….. I might be, but I also have other interests outside of here or sometimes I just want to enjoy the quiet time alone ! "
some people seriously don't know how to have other hobbies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life
Well i dont see why anyone wouldnt meet up with you. Unless you said that you was going to tie them up and peg them with no lubrication. Then that is a very acquired taste.
Ohhhhh is that where I'm going wrong then?
"
If I was closer I would meet up for a coffee then check out a few records shops. Music is the key to life. Note to self stop spends so much on vinyls. |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not. |
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By *9Karm69Man
over a year ago
plymouth/chesterfield |
"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not. "
Agree as lots hide behind text, so best to social meet and see how you get on |
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not. "
Sure but if they are not feeling it during the chat with the OP they are entitled to bail out. It’s how it works on here. If you’re too sensitive you won’t survive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not.
Sure but if they are not feeling it during the chat with the OP they are entitled to bail out. It’s how it works on here. If you’re too sensitive you won’t survive "
So when they're telling me how much they fancy me and how they can't wait to meet up, should I take that as a sign they're not feeling it? |
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not.
Sure but if they are not feeling it during the chat with the OP they are entitled to bail out. It’s how it works on here. If you’re too sensitive you won’t survive
So when they're telling me how much they fancy me and how they can't wait to meet up, should I take that as a sign they're not feeling it? "
I that instance my guess would be they are a fantasist and not a swinger. You clearly have misjudged them and made poor use of your time. |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not.
Sure but if they are not feeling it during the chat with the OP they are entitled to bail out. It’s how it works on here. If you’re too sensitive you won’t survive
So when they're telling me how much they fancy me and how they can't wait to meet up, should I take that as a sign they're not feeling it?
I that instance my guess would be they are a fantasist and not a swinger. You clearly have misjudged them and made poor use of your time. "
Yup. Its clearly totally 100% her fault |
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not.
Sure but if they are not feeling it during the chat with the OP they are entitled to bail out. It’s how it works on here. If you’re too sensitive you won’t survive
So when they're telling me how much they fancy me and how they can't wait to meet up, should I take that as a sign they're not feeling it?
I that instance my guess would be they are a fantasist and not a swinger. You clearly have misjudged them and made poor use of your time.
Yup. Its clearly totally 100% her fault "
We all get taken in by fakes and fantasists on here. It is a minefield and hard to spot them but you stand or fall with the decisions you make on here. It’s not fair but it is what it is. Not for the feint hearted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes they never intended to meet, they just wanted to fantasise.
You burst their bubble when you ask that question."
That's happening alot on both sides, sadly... And it tends to create this generalisation about what to expect... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not. "
Don't you think that we got to a point where even if a person is genuine... It will still be treated just like the fake ones... It's like a non ending circle... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not.
Don't you think that we got to a point where even if a person is genuine... It will still be treated just like the fake ones... It's like a non ending circle... "
Yeah 100%
I'm really quick to cut people off now if I spot any potential red flags. Probably making things worse for myself but the alternative is letting myself be burned again and again. Sometimes I feel like this site has just made me incredibly jaded, but there's more reasons to stay than to leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life
Awww hugs I would say your definitely worth the effort I know how hard it can be when you get let down
I have done it my self pulled profile and throwing everything away so hugs to you
Thank you xx "
Your welcome xx |
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"Let me clarify - I mean whenever I'm keen to meet after a bit of back and forth and ask them when they're free. And then either I get excuse after excuse (red flag) or just left unread forever.
Starting to feel like I'm not worth the effort of actually meeting in real life "
What you on about? You've met 8 men in your time on here? Granted the last was two years ago but we've had covid. There's a few single men that'd give their left testicle for those stats. |
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not.
Don't you think that we got to a point where even if a person is genuine... It will still be treated just like the fake ones... It's like a non ending circle...
Yeah 100%
I'm really quick to cut people off now if I spot any potential red flags. Probably making things worse for myself but the alternative is letting myself be burned again and again. Sometimes I feel like this site has just made me incredibly jaded, but there's more reasons to stay than to leave. "
Better to be jaded and have some quality meets than put up with the time wasters, there are some gems in here Amber I promise you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ha. A massive percentage of people on here are all talk and no show. Don't take it personally. I prefer to meet sooner rather than later, find out if there is chemistry and not waste my time on endless online chat if not.
Don't you think that we got to a point where even if a person is genuine... It will still be treated just like the fake ones... It's like a non ending circle...
Yeah 100%
I'm really quick to cut people off now if I spot any potential red flags. Probably making things worse for myself but the alternative is letting myself be burned again and again. Sometimes I feel like this site has just made me incredibly jaded, but there's more reasons to stay than to leave.
Better to be jaded and have some quality meets than put up with the time wasters, there are some gems in here Amber I promise you x"
Can you find them for me? |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Block and move on. They clearly weren’t into you enough to go next stage "
Do you always know in advance exactly when you'll be free for sex?
I'm free right now but there's no way I can have sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Block and move on. They clearly weren’t into you enough to go next stage
Do you always know in advance exactly when you'll be free for sex?
I'm free right now but there's no way I can have sex."
Just giz a blowie then sugar |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Block and move on. They clearly weren’t into you enough to go next stage
Do you always know in advance exactly when you'll be free for sex?
I'm free right now but there's no way I can have sex."
Firstly, I don't always plan sex meets. If they want to get a hotel because they can't accom I 100% will categorically refuse to go straight to a hotel without a social first. Same goes for if they say they want more of a fwb type relationship, I'll propose getting to know each other over a drink. In fact, my status right now is about planning drinks.
Secondly, no there's no way I could have sex right now. But if I planned to, say tomorrow evening, I'd spend the entire day getting hyped up for it and then yes I absolutely could fuck all night long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Block and move on. They clearly weren’t into you enough to go next stage
Do you always know in advance exactly when you'll be free for sex?
I'm free right now but there's no way I can have sex."
I could go a bit, and Im free.  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Block and move on. They clearly weren’t into you enough to go next stage
Do you always know in advance exactly when you'll be free for sex?
I'm free right now but there's no way I can have sex.
Just giz a blowie then sugar"
As you asked so nicely I'll give you a half-arsed one, with teeth. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Block and move on. They clearly weren’t into you enough to go next stage
Do you always know in advance exactly when you'll be free for sex?
I'm free right now but there's no way I can have sex.
I could go a bit, and Im free. "
Legs shaved? Takes me a day to shave everything and by then I'm too tired to put my underwear on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Block and move on. They clearly weren’t into you enough to go next stage
Do you always know in advance exactly when you'll be free for sex?
I'm free right now but there's no way I can have sex.
I could go a bit, and Im free.
Legs shaved? Takes me a day to shave everything and by then I'm too tired to put my underwear on "
We could tie their hands up they would never tell then. |
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