FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How often do women message first?
How often do women message first?
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Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
In the last month - twice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.
Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.
Then again, that is just my experience."
Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.
They have no reason to ever meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
Never, at first. Now, if I see something funny on the forums, I might send a PM just to show my appreciation 
For local fun, I’d rather wait to see if I’m someone’s type and wait for a message.
How do you feel about receiving the first message from a woman OP? |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.
Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.
Then again, that is just my experience.
Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.
They have no reason to ever meet "
And the reason they are on here? |
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I personally, would love to receive a message or two from a woman first. Shows that interest works both ways, and that a man doesn't always have to do all the initial work! We're all in this hellhole together after all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.
Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.
Then again, that is just my experience.
Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.
They have no reason to ever meet "
*hands Ranger a yard brush* |
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By *drianukMan
over a year ago
Spain, Lancs |
"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.
Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.
Then again, that is just my experience.
Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.
They have no reason to ever meet
*hands Ranger a yard brush*"
You are pretty rare but...carry on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
Once or twice messaged didnt get any answer,so i stopped |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been told by a few men that they get nasty messages and blocked after. It happens to both sexes, and spoils the experience here for both men and women. |
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"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
when I was meeting , I'd often message people if their profiles interested me. |
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Haven't sent a first contact message in 18 months and I receive on average 1 message every couple of weeks from women so it does happen.
That can increase to a couple a week depending on my involvement in the forums.
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
Huge respect (and attraction!) for any woman who is willing to message first on a site like this...it definitely makes you different than the rest in my eyes. I would never reject (or not reply to) any woman who messages first (as long as the message doesn't contain anything offensive).
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‘If you build it they will come’
If your profile fits to what they are looking for then I’m sure they’ll message.
C will often message someone if they interest her. Whilst I have a good idea of what she likes I’m not going to capture everyone. Plus it’s a turn on to see her flirt with someone.
K |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
I’ve messaged people first 3 times in 3 years. I just don’t need to. I get dozens of messages in a day and I just choose who to reply to.
It does take someone to be rather exceptional for me to message them first. |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
It has happened on occasion - it’s a lovely feeling personally especially for those of us who have low self esteem and so in.
Two stand out. One led to a year long affair and some new amazing experiences and many many happy memories and the other led to my worst ever experience and nearly broke me totally! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have, not sure how many times tho, don't get the 'I don't need to' mindset. If there's someone I'm interested in why not make first contact? It's just being proactive  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been messaged a few times, it’s nice to get a message from someone that you haven’t spoken to. Usually it’s from a thread and maybe something I’ve written, and they message to ask how I am.
It’s just friendly but it’s nice. |
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"I’ve been messaged a few times, it’s nice to get a message from someone that you haven’t spoken to. Usually it’s from a thread and maybe something I’ve written, and they message to ask how I am.
It’s just friendly but it’s nice. "
I messaged you first!!  and it was for that exact reason xx |
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In my experience women who message first are usually those who aren't announcing in the forums or status updates about the hundreds if not thousands of unread messages they have. That little gold star they are waiting for never seems to arrive in the post.
Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.
Those are the same women who don't complain about the quality of messages they receive or the unsolicited dick pics. That's because they don't need to as they are quietly and proactively using the site in a way that suits them best. |
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"I would imagine most don’t have the time to message first with having to get through all the messages in their in box  "
That's what filters are for . I didn't really get anywhere wading through the messages sent to me anyway. |
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"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
If an individual has all filters up. The only way the are contactable is by them messaging first.
Even if they only have males blocked. They still need to initiate a conversation to a male.
For those that don't have message blocks. They can pick and choose from the vast array of messages recieved and may use browser stealth mode to review profiles and images before follow up messaging.
Of course it is completely personal choice as to how an individual uses the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.
Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.
Then again, that is just my experience.
Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.
They have no reason to ever meet
And the reason they are on here?"
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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago
Ho Chi Minge City |
"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
3.6% of the time, every time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first ever fab experience was borne of a message sent to me first, and as much as proportionally yes, it's low; there has been a good few little yellow 1's at the top of the screen. Don't give up hope OP!
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Three or four times a week for me. Sometimes none for weeks at a time, sometimes half a dozen in a day.
I don't carpet-bomb, I only send a message when I see something in a profile or a status update that tickles my fancy.
I've had much better interactions that way than I have waiting and hoping that someone I fancy will message me. |
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"In my experience women who message first are usually those who aren't announcing in the forums or status updates about the hundreds if not thousands of unread messages they have. That little gold star they are waiting for never seems to arrive in the post.
Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.
Those are the same women who don't complain about the quality of messages they receive or the unsolicited dick pics. That's because they don't need to as they are quietly and proactively using the site in a way that suits them best. "
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"In my experience women who message first are usually those who aren't announcing in the forums or status updates about the hundreds if not thousands of unread messages they have. That little gold star they are waiting for never seems to arrive in the post.
That
Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.
Those are the same women who don't complain about the quality of messages they receive or the unsolicited dick pics. That's because they don't need to as they are quietly and proactively using the site in a way that suits them best.
"
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I'v messaged four men first with a view to a potential meet...two turned out we didn't align after more detailed chat, and I met the other two. All of those were with probably the first three months of being on here. I've not bothered since   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally, would love to receive a message or two from a woman first. Shows that interest works both ways, and that a man doesn't always have to do all the initial work! We're all in this hellhole together after all! "
Dream on, my friend! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I message someone first then I've planned in my head on meeting them. They would have had a clear profile and face photos so I know a bit about them. If they cannot accommodate then I would sort that side of things out.
If they are not interested or don't reply after reading message then I leave it at that.
I wish guys would do the same.
If there were men like the OP in my neighbourhood I would be doing it more often ;-p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never...we go through messages together and decide to message or not. To be fair Mr PD is a chatty man and will talk to anyone. I'm more like I don't chat as I don't want to waste anyone's time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I gave up. I sent a fair few first messages and got no reply.
Doesn't just happen to guys you know.
"
I bet it doesn't but I bet women's "failure" rates are significantly lower than mens on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I gave up. I sent a fair few first messages and got no reply.
Doesn't just happen to guys you know.
"
Sorry I’m building myself up to reading my unread messages just sooooo many to get through |
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"Women are definitely in control on this site  "
I would argue “Women are definitely in demand in this site”, but “in control”? No. They certainly have more choices, and receive more offers than men (putting the bi guys aside), but “in control” sounds like brown-nosing to me |
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"There must be something in the water atm. I've had a few ladies 'make the first move' recently.
I thought it was my charm and wit, but.......  "
…….someone must have let slip about your lottery win….
(Only kidding fella) |
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So, last night I received a first time, opening message from a single woman, who offered me a bj! No messing around, straight to the point she was, which made a refreshing change! Just thought I would throw this out there to the guys who have lost faith in the women of Fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I occassionally get messages from women. They never lead to anything though. Almost all the time they never bother to reply after I send them a reply
I also rarely message women. I've never met anyone on here as a result. Go figure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience women who message first are usually those who aren't announcing in the forums or status updates about the hundreds if not thousands of unread messages they have. That little gold star they are waiting for never seems to arrive in the post.
Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.
Those are the same women who don't complain about the quality of messages they receive or the unsolicited dick pics. That's because they don't need to as they are quietly and proactively using the site in a way that suits them best. "
Tadam.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Woo I messaged another two guys today.
Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!
.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.
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"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?
Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
I don't get many messages from women.
Had an incredibly hot woman look at my profile earlier though.
I bet she was thoroughly dissapointed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Woo I messaged another two guys today.
Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!
.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.
"
You messaged me to ask how I was after that horrendous couple, called me a war criminal and baby killer after I told them why I have beard in the beard thread they started.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Woo I messaged another two guys today.
Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!
.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.
You messaged me to ask how I was after that horrendous couple, called me a war criminal and baby killer after I told them why I have beard in the beard thread they started.
"
And thank you I was ok I’ve been called far worse in my life. |
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By *rMrsRichCouple
over a year ago
Bournemouh |
"I do if i see a good status or something written on here"
Yes I agree with this. Quite rare I’ll message first - mainly because I’m pretty crap at opening messages! But usually it’s a status or a particular profile or forum comment that catches me that’s get to to message first. |
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I’ve had women message me for normally three reasons.
A comment I’ve made on the forums.
I’m on a guest list for a club night so they’d like to meet for a chat and a laugh.
It’s a friend who wants a chat.
The longer you’re on here and the more effort you put into the lifestyle, the more ‘chances’ you’ll get to catch that elusive ladies eye. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Woo I messaged another two guys today.
Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!
.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.
You messaged me to ask how I was after that horrendous couple, called me a war criminal and baby killer after I told them why I have beard in the beard thread they started.
And thank you I was ok I’ve been called far worse in my life. "
Hahaha Tom,
You've just reminded me it's three people I've chatted to recently...
Haven't forgotten you, honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didnt actually answer the question. I do message first. Rarely these days but I'm glad i overcame my initial hang ups and just reach out. It doesn't have to be a sexual connection. If I'm curious of a person, I don't want to wait around too long. People come and go from here. Catching moments when we can.. |
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Must be something we said!!!! Think we will stick to receiving. 