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70 ways to please a woman
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take her shopping 
Is it true a woman have an orgasm every time you buy her something new?"
Especially if it’s expensiveeeeee I get to planet Venus by how intense my orgasms are when I get covered in Gucci |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take her shopping
Is it true a woman have an orgasm every time you buy her something new?
Last thing I got was a frying pan can’t say it made me orgasm no 
Turn it up the other way "
The instructions leaflet must have gone missing in transit! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Give me orgasms or Haribo, I'm always pleased with either."
I read supermarkets are running out of Haribos as there are no drivers to deliver them. Why make it harder to please you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take the bins out without being asked.
Bring her a brew in the morning and don’t expect sex in return. "
Bring her a coffee in the morning and provide the expected sex
Mr |
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"Give me orgasms or Haribo, I'm always pleased with either.
I read supermarkets are running out of Haribos as there are no drivers to deliver them. Why make it harder to please you? "
That's why I gave the option of orgasms - not reliant on a vulnerable supply chain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Send her flowers every week for the rest of her life (this would make me very happy) "
Wow this would make me deliriously happy.. I'd do everything else! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Send her flowers every week for the rest of her life (this would make me very happy)
Wow this would make me deliriously happy.. I'd do everything else! "
x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Notice when she does her hair, nails, make up and tell her good she looks. Random gestures and little gifts, doesn’t have to be big or expensive just that you’re thinking about her and want to do it |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Notice when she does her hair, nails, make up and tell her good she looks. Random gestures and little gifts, doesn’t have to be big or expensive just that you’re thinking about her and want to do it"
Aww you actually have a heart!  So cute. Although it's not following the theme of jokey responses I really love this. Being attentive is a definite way to please someone. |
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"Listen to her. Let her rant/vent/talk without trying to offer a solution. Sometimes we just want to talk and be heard, not fixed. "
Alternatively, dive in and tell her where she is going wrong, she will appreciate the expert advice.
And don’t try to be a complete hero getting everything absolutely right, make sure you make a balls of the occasional thing so she has something to moan about.
And do considerate things like arranging a golf weekend for when her mother is visiting, so they they can spend quality time together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do not do generic woman things for me.
I am a person and it's an epic fail to think I will appreciate something because people think that 'women' do.
In short....... know me. "
Strange, how lots of people seem to be on a quest of knowing how other gender "works" or what "ticks them". Instead of just getting onto knowing individual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See me, really see me, and hear me, really hear me, and remember what I say (as much as is humanly possible).
Also, accept me for who I am, don’t try to change me into something I’m not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Notice when she does her hair, nails, make up and tell her good she looks. Random gestures and little gifts, doesn’t have to be big or expensive just that you’re thinking about her and want to do it
Aww you actually have a heart! So cute. Although it's not following the theme of jokey responses I really love this. Being attentive is a definite way to please someone."
Be consistent as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See me, really see me, and hear me, really hear me, and remember what I say (as much as is humanly possible).
Also, accept me for who I am, don’t try to change me into something I’m not. "
This “really” business. How does that work? |
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"Green and Blacks
Also, give her helpful advice. If she is moaning about something, simply tell her what she should do / what you would have done / what she should have done. "
Do you find that gets you sex? |
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"Green and Blacks
Also, give her helpful advice. If she is moaning about something, simply tell her what she should do / what you would have done / what she should have done.
Do you find that gets you sex? "
Yes. |
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"Green and Blacks
Also, give her helpful advice. If she is moaning about something, simply tell her what she should do / what you would have done / what she should have done.
Do you find that gets you sex?
Yes. "
It would get you a slap from me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Green and Blacks
Also, give her helpful advice. If she is moaning about something, simply tell her what she should do / what you would have done / what she should have done.
Do you find that gets you sex?
Yes.
It would get you a slap from me. "
For some a slap could be the beginning of sex mmmmmm slap me baby haha |
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"Respect!! Make her feel secure and irreplaceable, but only if you mean it! Don’t lie! Oh and never eat her chocolate without asking first Miss PC "
Or have a replacement stash of chocolate that's bigger than her stash, cos eating someone else's is always naughtier |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Green and Blacks
Also, give her helpful advice. If she is moaning about something, simply tell her what she should do / what you would have done / what she should have done. "
Omg your brave the fire in her eyes and the redness in her face is working out how to kill you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They are all different, some like gifts, some like acts of devotion, some need time commitment.
Some just need a credit card and insta followers. "
So jaded for one so young  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never look comfortable or content.
If you're happy, they are angry.
Give them lots of space. 20 hours per day should just about do it.
Pleasure them but dont expect to be pleasured back.
If you see them smiling, be afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop wanking into her knicker drawer.
Or if you do, at least do the laundry after."
If you borrowed the knickers for a day make sure you returned them to the rightful owner too.  |
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