FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How we don’t talk anymore
How we don’t talk anymore
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person? |
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If you 'chatted' with them and got along I see no reason to lose contact. Get in touch , why don't you ?
I tend not to 'chat'.....
I only comment on the forums and most of the comments are vague and superficial.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s the ease with which new encounters can come along. Unless you find true depth to your chat or the connection you have made, it isn’t easy to maintain idle chit chat. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
There are quite a few people that I have had conversations with in the past but don’t chat to regularly, unless a situation arises where I have cause to talk with them, I generally don’t.
That doesn’t mean that I like them less or don’t consider them as friends or worthy of conversing with |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Some have left
I do try to contact the ones I'm regularly in touch with even just to check if they're ok xxx"
I try to contact them but often the message goes unanswered, maybe lost in the sea of other messages |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Some have left
I do try to contact the ones I'm regularly in touch with even just to check if they're ok xxx
I try to contact them but often the message goes unanswered, maybe lost in the sea of other messages "
True xx I do find some etc or text x |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"I can't get Cliff Richard out of my head now ........... not a pretty Sunday morning thought."
That’s was the idea, I was going to use the title “it’s so funny how we don’t talk anymore”  |
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"I can't get Cliff Richard out of my head now ........... not a pretty Sunday morning thought.
That’s was the idea, I was going to use the title “it’s so funny how we don’t talk anymore” "
Gotta love a bit of Cliff  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person? "
Lots have stopped chatting to me too and given up trying to work out why, I have stopped making the effort now. People know where I am if they want to contact me. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Like any friendships some will be fleeting and you'll lose touch, some you'll still see each other around and maybe swap a brief hello, others you'll see every day and stop for a natter, some you see every day and have a continuing dialogue with, and others will be solid to the point you may not speak for weeks or months but when you do connect again you just pick up where you left off.
My best friend from school is a good example of the latter - 45 years we've known each other and have been through everything together - yet we can go months without talking.
Of course friendship is a two way thing and takes both people to invest in it.
None of that is any different on here - I can think of examples to fit all of the above amongst people I've chatted to/been friendly with on here. |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person?
Lots have stopped chatting to me too and given up trying to work out why, I have stopped making the effort now. People know where I am if they want to contact me."
I did but you didn’t reply  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person?
Lots have stopped chatting to me too and given up trying to work out why, I have stopped making the effort now. People know where I am if they want to contact me.
I did but you didn’t reply "
When? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Part of it could be they've found new people to chat to, the conversation has fizzled out, you don't get on well any more, no headspace for one on one conversations.... so many reasons!
I can't say I do see forum users and think that, if I do want to be in contact with someone I'll message them. It's natural for conversations to change over time, if you want to talk to them, just do so OP. Don't overthink it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people you meet and connect with won't be with you at the end.
The connections and relationships we have throughout our lives are there to be enjoyed while they are there, but nothing lasts forever and to "drift" doesn't mean they didn't care about you.
As they say, we're like ships that pass on the night. A bright light and then it's over.
I'd say the same applies to fab as to life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people are tired of my shit and have heard the same 5 jokes on heavy rotation as nauseam, that’s why I think it’s vital to move on and find some new people to annoy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I find myself being the one who always instigates the communication, I take that as a sign that maybe the feelings are no longer mutual, or the person isn't as interested in me as I am to them.
It's a way of life really. People want certain levels of friends networks; some happy with small networks, others with larger.
I'm come to accept that you may get these fair weather friends, and then they move on. When this happens, I just move on too. Life's too short to worry about it  |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Most people are tired of my shit and have heard the same 5 jokes on heavy rotation as nauseam, that’s why I think it’s vital to move on and find some new people to annoy. "
Your humour is always top class, anyone that gets annoyed is clearly soulless |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Thinking about this further, I tend to find that some people are chasers and will instigate contact, others are chased and wait for contact. On fab the former is almost exclusively guys and often people are chasing the shiny new people, rather than tending to old contacts.
It’s not a bad thing and it’s not a reflection on anyone, it’s just how things are |
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They might just be like me and be rubbish at textual communication  . When I like someone I tend to wait until I have the energy to give them a decent response but that only tends to come in short bursts. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"If I find myself being the one who always instigates the communication, I take that as a sign that maybe the feelings are no longer mutual, or the person isn't as interested in me as I am to them."
Picking up on this, it’s not necessarily a sign someone isn’t interested. Personally I have a few weirdness issues that stops me initiating contact because:
A) I feel like I’m bothering them
B) I don’t know what to say (very shy introvert)
I find long back and forth messaging overwhelming and exhausting (side effect of mental health issues). I do better with irregular, short messages (like checking in from time to time). I find that a much better way to communicate and have folk on here that I have spoken to for years like that (and met).
Long in-depth messages where you have to give an outline of your daily life is just too much for me. I have a lot going on at home, but at the same time my life is fairly routine and mundane, back and forth messages about day to day life quickly die on their arse, it’s draining.
Anyway, I know that makes me sound well odd, but you see a lot of folk on here going on about “if they like you they will message you”. and yes most normal folk will/would.
But keep in mind there are a lot of weirdos on here who are a bit more hard work. That may mean they aren’t for you, and that’s fair enough, but know that sometimes it is never personal - it’s just how they are. Poor social skills maybe, whatever. |
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"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person? "
Some I would love to reconnect with, others not so much. I do not message any of them as I assume I'm harassing them. They know where I am if they wanted to chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I find myself being the one who always instigates the communication, I take that as a sign that maybe the feelings are no longer mutual, or the person isn't as interested in me as I am to them.
Picking up on this, it’s not necessarily a sign someone isn’t interested. Personally I have a few weirdness issues that stops me initiating contact because:
A) I feel like I’m bothering them
B) I don’t know what to say (very shy introvert)
I find long back and forth messaging overwhelming and exhausting (side effect of mental health issues). I do better with irregular, short messages (like checking in from time to time). I find that a much better way to communicate and have folk on here that I have spoken to for years like that (and met).
Long in-depth messages where you have to give an outline of your daily life is just too much for me. I have a lot going on at home, but at the same time my life is fairly routine and mundane, back and forth messages about day to day life quickly die on their arse, it’s draining.
Anyway, I know that makes me sound well odd, but you see a lot of folk on here going on about “if they like you they will message you”. and yes most normal folk will/would.
But keep in mind there are a lot of weirdos on here who are a bit more hard work. That may mean they aren’t for you, and that’s fair enough, but know that sometimes it is never personal - it’s just how they are. Poor social skills maybe, whatever. "
Interesting thoughts.
I guess we all have personal feelings towards that issue. |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person?
Some I would love to reconnect with, others not so much. I do not message any of them as I assume I'm harassing them. They know where I am if they wanted to chat."
What if they feel the same? You would never speak again? |
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"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person?
Some I would love to reconnect with, others not so much. I do not message any of them as I assume I'm harassing them. They know where I am if they wanted to chat.
What if they feel the same? You would never speak again? "
I know maybe one day I wont overthink the situation and actually send a message |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person?
Some I would love to reconnect with, others not so much. I do not message any of them as I assume I'm harassing them. They know where I am if they wanted to chat.
What if they feel the same? You would never speak again?
I know maybe one day I wont overthink the situation and actually send a message"
Do it! |
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On here specifically, if it's someone I class as a friend then I'll keep in touch, even if sporadically. If it's an acquaintance then I'll just see it as kind of like having a conversation with a stranger in a pub, you have a pleasant chat and then go your separate ways, you'd probably say hello and even have another quick chat if you bump into them again, but there probably wasn't that spark that would drive me to keep in contact. |
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I’m pants at staying in touch with people. I find constant messaging in general here exhausting and I don’t really message unless I have something to say. It’s not a case of getting bored or finding a new person to talk to or thinking any less of someone. It’s just how I am. I can not talk to my best mate in months, then call her like we spoke yesturday. I like friendships like that. |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"I’m pants at staying in touch with people. I find constant messaging in general here exhausting and I don’t really message unless I have something to say. It’s not a case of getting bored or finding a new person to talk to or thinking any less of someone. It’s just how I am. I can not talk to my best mate in months, then call her like we spoke yesturday. I like friendships like that. "
I thought I had just bored you  |
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"I’m pants at staying in touch with people. I find constant messaging in general here exhausting and I don’t really message unless I have something to say. It’s not a case of getting bored or finding a new person to talk to or thinking any less of someone. It’s just how I am. I can not talk to my best mate in months, then call her like we spoke yesturday. I like friendships like that. "
This is exactly me too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Life gets busy sometimes , and sometimes people are only on here to browse and not have time to start full on conversations that day knowing they don't have the time to reply constantly to someone so they don't always bother.
Plus I ran out of boob photos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every now and then I'll message the friends I've not heard from for a while, to check in.
Otherwise conversations ebb and flow and as lacey said sometimes i don't feel able to do the conversations justice, so will wait a bit
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"I’m pants at staying in touch with people. I find constant messaging in general here exhausting and I don’t really message unless I have something to say. It’s not a case of getting bored or finding a new person to talk to or thinking any less of someone. It’s just how I am. I can not talk to my best mate in months, then call her like we spoke yesturday. I like friendships like that. "
This.
Jo.Xx |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Life gets busy sometimes , and sometimes people are only on here to browse and not have time to start full on conversations that day knowing they don't have the time to reply constantly to someone so they don't always bother.
Plus I ran out of boob photos "
That’s impossible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person? "
People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime |
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By *.R.M OP Man
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Good morning all, the last few days I’ve been reminiscing about people that I’ve chatted with on here over the years. Many no longer chat even though they’re active on here, I guess people move on and find new people to chat to. Do you often think about reconnecting with someone or do you see them in the forum and not give a second thought about that person?
People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime"
This is true |
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I chat a lot on here. Sometimes a great conversation just fizzles out into one word answers and I feel like the Spanish inquisition firing non-stop questions at someone. At that point I usually figure they've lost interest and let the conversation die.
There are few conversations that are sustained over long periods, and they tend to move off-site.
Sometimes it feels like finding a decent conversation on here is harder than finding a decent meet, but sooner or later I know I'll always click with someone and have a good natter for as long as it lasts. |
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OP. I very rarely initiate contact and if I do, it’s primarily with someone I have met or would like to meet. There are some great people on fab and, I am sure, were it not for distance or circumstances many of them would become friends.
But keeping up with people (either on here or other forms of social media) can be difficult. So because I use fab as a sex site (yes, I’m one of “those”) I’m never too worried when people lose touch or the messages stop.
Fab has been good to me, some great memories, some absolute hoots and long may that continue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Normally they can’t hold a conversation so the messages stop
I mean I can talk for Africa!! And will happily chat crap
But obv the messages end cos I guess I don’t go oh yeah I’ll come hop on your thing  after the first message!
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"I think most interactions on here are going to be fleeting and fickle for the most part
Yes "
Yes. Which is a shame. As I'd like to check in and chat with them regularly, but then I don't want to be bugging them if they don't want to. |
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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago
Milford Haven |
It should only be a problem for people that are ignored. I have many people I chat to here on fab and outside of it, find some more interesting than others, that would only be because some have more chat to offer which intrigues me more. I have never been to Africa and would like to chat about this surely someone is out there like myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't personally need constant interaction to keep an interest active
I am, however, acutely aware that others need the stimulation and attention
I tire quite quickly of blithe, friendly, chit chat purely for the purpose of keeping a conversation flowing
I have met a handful of forumites and, without exception, all have been positive and affirming experiences
Even though I rarely chat to any of them these days, certainly not with any consistency, I would happily meet - and I know that I would enjoy our shared experience
In terms of those I have met with for sex, I am quite cut & dry that that was the intention and I feel no major need to keep in touch
A couple of ex meets have messaged me recently and whilst I wouldn't rule meeting them again, I don't feel obliged in any way and I am unapologetic for my change in circumstance which means that it is very rare that I will have the time to meet |
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