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Moral high ground
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A young couple moved into a new house.
The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the washing outside.
"That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better soap powder.
Her husband looked on, remaining silent.
Every time her neighbor hung her washing out to dry, the young woman made the same comments.
A month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"
The husband replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.
So don’t be too quick to judge others, especially if your perspective of life is clouded by anger, jealousy, negativity or unfulfilled desires.
"Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a well intended analogy, but we're all judgemental
I come here expecting to be judged
I expect my photos to be judged
I expect my words to be judged
A figure plucked from thin air, but I'd guess at least 3/4 of the threads here contain judgement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A young couple moved into a new house.
The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the washing outside.
"That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better soap powder.
Her husband looked on, remaining silent.
Every time her neighbor hung her washing out to dry, the young woman made the same comments.
A month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"
The husband replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.
So don’t be too quick to judge others, especially if your perspective of life is clouded by anger, jealousy, negativity or unfulfilled desires.
"Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.""
Brilliant, the judgmental here do put a massive downer on things. It's the one thing that i need a break from, id take rejection all day long if i didn't see it anymore.   |
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"It's a well intended analogy, but we're all judgemental
I come here expecting to be judged
I expect my photos to be judged
I expect my words to be judged
A figure plucked from thin air, but I'd guess at least 3/4 of the threads here contain judgement"
I agree Bussy. I deleted my comment above because it was a smile at the judgement being passed on a thread about non judgement......
Nonetheless , I like it. It has it's uses. For some. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"It's a well intended analogy, but we're all judgemental
I come here expecting to be judged
I expect my photos to be judged
I expect my words to be judged
A figure plucked from thin air, but I'd guess at least 3/4 of the threads here contain judgement"
I guess the op wasn't about not judging, it was more about what you feel you should judge, and also judging with a clear mind - in the end she was still judgmental, only this time with, at least, clear sight
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a well intended analogy, but we're all judgemental
I come here expecting to be judged
I expect my photos to be judged
I expect my words to be judged
A figure plucked from thin air, but I'd guess at least 3/4 of the threads here contain judgement"
You are right, we do judge, it is human nature, however it's not being judgemental that is the problem it is how that judgement is communicated....very often nothing needs to be said, but people cannot help themselves at times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes they can help themselves and still comment Dreavus. It's not always a bad thing to comment or to judge.
Depends "
No it's not always a bad thing your right, like I say it's how it's said that is the problem
And yep, people can but they don't/won't. |
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One thing that we have learned through life is that people see what they want to see and judge it accordingly.
The point that they zero effort to find out before judging says more about them as the OP has said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are very quick to judge and to label a person. Put them in that group so to speak. A lot depends how you were brought up etc. Treating others how you would want them to treat you etc. You are not born judgemental just like you are not born with racial tendencies. They can form within you. I have always been impartial to everything. All to do with life's social skills to an extent. |
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"It's a well intended analogy, but we're all judgemental
I come here expecting to be judged
I expect my photos to be judged
I expect my words to be judged
A figure plucked from thin air, but I'd guess at least 3/4 of the threads here contain judgement"
^ ^ ^ ^ This totally.. theres an old and very true saying... you dont get a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression... that 1st impression is a judgement on who you are, from how you present yourself... people may not like it, bit its a basic human instinct at play |
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"A young couple moved into a new house.
The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the washing outside.
"That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better soap powder.
Her husband looked on, remaining silent.
Every time her neighbor hung her washing out to dry, the young woman made the same comments.
A month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"
The husband replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.
So don’t be too quick to judge others, especially if your perspective of life is clouded by anger, jealousy, negativity or unfulfilled desires.
"Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.""
Oh dear.
I just thought Paul would say something like...
Instead of criticising her washing prowess why not get off your arse and clean our windows...
I'm just not a perfect person.
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I had to smile at the irony of us being asked to judge a woman not only for being judgemental herself but for the shocking crime of having dirty windows.
Luckily her husband was a paragon of virtue and not only cleaned the windows but taught wifey a valuable lesson. Criticise the neighbours washing often enough and he'll eventually get off his bottom and clean the damn windows  |
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"It's a well intended analogy, but we're all judgemental
I come here expecting to be judged
I expect my photos to be judged
I expect my words to be judged
A figure plucked from thin air, but I'd guess at least 3/4 of the threads here contain judgement"
Yes as humans we judge. I think the issue is voicing those judgements but even there we run into difficulties. There are certain things i do not like so if someone asks in a post if someone likes such and such I think it is valid and useful to answer not for me so the OP can get some idea how popular the such and such is. Otherwise if only the fans answer the OP could get the wrong impression that what they like is universally popular which could get them into trouble.
I think the more important message is be kind and be aware of the power of your words. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
It is not just the fact you're being judged here by somebody else's standards who thinks they are superior, also how that judgement is disseminated. Not just the ones that judge it the ones that carry/spread judgment on others even though they have no idea who they are.
People always like to think they are superior to someone else as OP post. People should get their own house in order before judging others.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"It is not just the fact you're being judged here by somebody else's standards who thinks they are superior, also how that judgement is disseminated. Not just the ones that judge it the ones that carry/spread judgment on others even though they have no idea who they are.
People always like to think they are superior to someone else as OP post. People should get their own house in order before judging others.
"
My house will likely never be in order, I’m flawed, and messy ! And even if it was I’d still try not to judge others. Human nature is used as an excuse for all kinds of behaviour from racism to toxic masculinity and worse. We are more than animals and instincts. We can pause and choose how to respond, rather than act on autopilot instincts, we also can choose to become self aware and change.
“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.” ~ Carl Jung
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And yet the guy in this little morality take takes a month, a whole month to clean the windows instead of saying to his wife "I think you're being a bit harsh , I'll give the windows a clean and we'll see if your perspective changes after that".
I'm judging him the pompous arse.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wise words. There are definitely a few people on Fab ( I'm not saying anyone on here) who could learn from that.
I'm sure I've been guilty of judging too quickly myself in the past but I try not to unless I know someone very well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And yet the guy in this little morality take takes a month, a whole month to clean the windows instead of saying to his wife "I think you're being a bit harsh , I'll give the windows a clean and we'll see if your perspective changes after that".
I'm judging him the pompous arse.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a well intended analogy, but we're all judgemental
I come here expecting to be judged
I expect my photos to be judged
I expect my words to be judged
A figure plucked from thin air, but I'd guess at least 3/4 of the threads here contain judgement"
This is also very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s human nature to be judgemental what’s individual is how we communicate that to others, I always remember seeing a very saying and it’s so simple but meaningful it simply said “ be a nice human “ if only we all could. |
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"One thing that we have learned through life is that people see what they want to see and judge it accordingly.
The point that they zero effort to find out before judging says more about them as the OP has said "
The quick to judge will always be amongst us. Many of us change through experience and the development of wisdom.
It is not the quick to judge that should concern us too much nor those that judge by what they CHOOSE to see. It's the ones that SEE CLEARLY sharing the eyes of others and yet choose to judge through they eyes of populism.
I'm not quite sure which of their actions harms society most.... their judgements or their cowardice or their lying or self delusion.
( incidentally I absolve myself of all wrong doing as 93.5% of this thread have - it's always 'the them' and never 'the me' ) |
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"It’s human nature to be judgemental what’s individual is how we communicate that to others, I always remember seeing a very saying and it’s so simple but meaningful it simply said “ be a nice human “ if only we all could."
'human nature?' ........ what's that? |
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"And yet the guy in this little morality take takes a month, a whole month to clean the windows instead of saying to his wife "I think you're being a bit harsh , I'll give the windows a clean and we'll see if your perspective changes after that".
I'm judging him the pompous arse.
"
I'm only half joking with this.
The saying "walk a mile in somebody else's shoes" applies in *all* situations, we don't get to choose who we judge if we're truly not judgemental. For me at least that isn't possible |
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I believe, coming from a period before the Interweb existed, that the ability of people today to annimously threaten, criticise and insult others has led to a culture of criticism, catfishing and trolling. It also seems to have led to a lack of concern for fellow humans.
Back a while, if you wanted to insult someone, you had to stand and say it face to face. That certainly helped with social conduct filtering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bigotry, judgement and discernment … all very formative states that help us get on… or not.
Bigotry helps the person feel superior and separate from the other human being they’re looking down and passing judgement on… usually the bigoted person isn’t open to having their opinion changed.
Judgement actually has several meanings (like most words do)…most don’t take the time to find out if their opinion on another is true or not, they believe their opinion to be final
Discernment usually entails the person uses several perspectives to arrive at a judgement that is also open to being changed once new evidence is brought to light.
Very important to have an opinion though as otherwise you become a doormat for everyone else’s opinions… imo haha |
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"Bigotry, judgement and discernment … all very formative states that help us get on… or not.
Bigotry helps the person feel superior and separate from the other human being they’re looking down and passing judgement on… usually the bigoted person isn’t open to having their opinion changed.
Judgement actually has several meanings (like most words do)…most don’t take the time to find out if their opinion on another is true or not, they believe their opinion to be final
Discernment usually entails the person uses several perspectives to arrive at a judgement that is also open to being changed once new evidence is brought to light.
Very important to have an opinion though as otherwise you become a doormat for everyone else’s opinions… imo haha"
How very discerning of you! I agree. |
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"What I don't understand is why nothing else appeared dirty in the month that passed between hanging the laundry.  "
I thought this yesterday. I tried not to give it too much time.
It's like if we don't suspend some thoughts there will never be a flying man with spidey senses and spinnarettes....
Shhhhhhh don't think. Just look pretty. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bigotry, judgement and discernment … all very formative states that help us get on… or not.
Bigotry helps the person feel superior and separate from the other human being they’re looking down and passing judgement on… usually the bigoted person isn’t open to having their opinion changed.
Judgement actually has several meanings (like most words do)…most don’t take the time to find out if their opinion on another is true or not, they believe their opinion to be final
Discernment usually entails the person uses several perspectives to arrive at a judgement that is also open to being changed once new evidence is brought to light.
Very important to have an opinion though as otherwise you become a doormat for everyone else’s opinions… imo haha
How very discerning of you! I agree."
We’ll Mrs Crumpet, being Black, raised by a single parent lesbian Black female as well as living in Wales for a time during childhood has meant I've had a lot of bigotry to deal with… and also had to sort out my own world views because of confusing mind sets I was exposed to in the 80’s.. was all very formative for me and opened my mind somewhat… also I’m a humanist and I find us humans very fun (for the most part) to figure out.
“Ain’t nowt as strange as folks”.. haha x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all judge; it’s our very nature
You’re judging those who judge right now "
I think judging is learnt behaviour.
Kids don’t judge until someone in their family tells them to… or shows them how to judge.
Racism wouldn’t exist if you were’t told and treated like a minority would it?!
Societal judging comes from what governments, tv and newspapers tells us what should be judged… that’s why we all so easily played… always ready to believe what we’re told instead of finding out for real for ourselves…
S’probably way more complicated than what I’m describing though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A young couple moved into a new house.
The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the washing outside.
"That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better soap powder.
Her husband looked on, remaining silent.
Every time her neighbor hung her washing out to dry, the young woman made the same comments.
A month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"
The husband replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.
So don’t be too quick to judge others, especially if your perspective of life is clouded by anger, jealousy, negativity or unfulfilled desires.
"Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.""
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