FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fab rant
Fab rant
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"I want to have a little rant if you want to add to it feel free but if you are just going to be mean dont bother! Im a frequent user of the forums on here, interacting in others posts and sometimes making my own ....always purely for the fun and laughs and meeting new people to have a chat with and some banter. But there is a difference to banter and peoppe just being plain mean and degrading others. Why in 2021 and after the 18 months we have all had, do some people feel the need to degrade someone purely for their benefit of making them feel they are better than others? Whether it be race, size, sexual orientation ( as guess what im GAY we exist we are going no where amd i am as important as you) or whatever it may be, these people need to realise that words (even from behind a phone and in a sex forum) their words can actually kill people! I know of 4 people (one a close friend) who have taken their own life for bullying/trolling/society belittling them making them feel worthless. So if i post something on these forums and its within you to make a vile nasty comment, do me a favour and dont bother. And dont tell me imo over reacting or to grow up/deal with it .... it isnt on me or those you abuse its on you so you do something about your attitude. Thanks for listening" I totally agree, if I come across as belittling anyone that has intact been seen and taken in the wrong way, but I am man enough to admit I could have that effect on people ( unintentionally ) And for that I can only apologise Let's all be happy and content is a wonderful thought op  | |||
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"My honest initial reaction to your post is to agree with you and say yes some people are quick to belittle and put people down and unfortunately it's the nature of social media and online forums. However on clicking the green arrow in an attempt to get some idea of what threads you have been posting to and the reaction you refer to all I can see are a number of occasions where you have snapped at a particular poster for simply asking a question. If you start a thread and someone asks a valid question about the thread or makes a humourous comment with no malicious intent it's just a matter of time before it kicks off if you react negatively rather than simply engaging politely. You can of course have a go if you don't agree with my assessment as you are entitled to but I won't be commenting again. " I do love questions | |||
"My honest initial reaction to your post is to agree with you and say yes some people are quick to belittle and put people down and unfortunately it's the nature of social media and online forums. However on clicking the green arrow in an attempt to get some idea of what threads you have been posting to and the reaction you refer to all I can see are a number of occasions where you have snapped at a particular poster for simply asking a question. If you start a thread and someone asks a valid question about the thread or makes a humourous comment with no malicious intent it's just a matter of time before it kicks off if you react negatively rather than simply engaging politely. You can of course have a go if you don't agree with my assessment as you are entitled to but I won't be commenting again. " I just did the same as you and came to the same conclusion. | |||
"My honest initial reaction to your post is to agree with you and say yes some people are quick to belittle and put people down and unfortunately it's the nature of social media and online forums. However on clicking the green arrow in an attempt to get some idea of what threads you have been posting to and the reaction you refer to all I can see are a number of occasions where you have snapped at a particular poster for simply asking a question. If you start a thread and someone asks a valid question about the thread or makes a humourous comment with no malicious intent it's just a matter of time before it kicks off if you react negatively rather than simply engaging politely. You can of course have a go if you don't agree with my assessment as you are entitled to but I won't be commenting again. " Thanks | |||
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"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. " Wow | |||
"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. Wow" Or you know, you could try and change the world by having a rant on a swingers forum……. One will bring you peace, the other only war. | |||
"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. " What a bullshit post!!! Why is it on the OP if people hiding behind a keyboard post comments that he may take offence to? In your view people can post whatever they want without taking any responsibility themselves about the consequences of same!! | |||
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"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. What a bullshit post!!! Why is it on the OP if people hiding behind a keyboard post comments that he may take offence to? In your view people can post whatever they want without taking any responsibility themselves about the consequences of same!!" Yes. It is called free speech. Are people not allowed opposing views? When you silence hatred, you push it down deeper, where it festers. Here people can see when such people say abhorrent things and either interact with them or not. But silence them? So they don’t expose themselves? Do you really know how dangerous that is? When do we stop silencing people? At what point do your words need silencing and perhaps, more importantly, who gets to decide? As for responsibility, firstly, when people say negative things or abhorrent things,, they have taken responsibility, regardless of consequence, just because you don’t see us blocking them, ignoring them, doesn’t mean that we aren’t, exclusion is better than silencing in this regards. Secondly, we all chose to be here on this site, we open ourselves up to the world, we need to take responsibility for that and understand that not everything we read we will like or agree with. But if jump down the throats of them posting it, then you validate their words and feed their ego. Who do you then think has won? | |||
"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. " I quite like this | |||
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"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. What a bullshit post!!! Why is it on the OP if people hiding behind a keyboard post comments that he may take offence to? In your view people can post whatever they want without taking any responsibility themselves about the consequences of same!! Yes. It is called free speech. Are people not allowed opposing views? When you silence hatred, you push it down deeper, where it festers. Here people can see when such people say abhorrent things and either interact with them or not. But silence them? So they don’t expose themselves? Do you really know how dangerous that is? When do we stop silencing people? At what point do your words need silencing and perhaps, more importantly, who gets to decide? As for responsibility, firstly, when people say negative things or abhorrent things,, they have taken responsibility, regardless of consequence, just because you don’t see us blocking them, ignoring them, doesn’t mean that we aren’t, exclusion is better than silencing in this regards. Secondly, we all chose to be here on this site, we open ourselves up to the world, we need to take responsibility for that and understand that not everything we read we will like or agree with. But if jump down the throats of them posting it, then you validate their words and feed their ego. Who do you then think has won? " You’re going off on a complete tangent here! There’s a big difference between free speech and hate speech. People with opposing views on things are quite entitled to use free speech to engage in discussions or arguments about various points. That kind of thing makes the world a better place. People actively going out of their way to makes posts on forums attacking either a person’s beliefs, sexuality or even the person themselves is hate speech. The OP pretty much asked for those people to not bother posting as opposed to asking the site to silence and not allow them post. Huge difference! Your initial post says it’s on the reader for taking anything they read to heart as opposed to the people who go out of their way to post such stuff. Then you say those who have posted have already taken responsibility for posting such negative or abhorrent things…….have they? Have they genuinely thought before posting about how their words might affect those that read them? Have they though about whether or not they really need to post words that add nothing to the actual discussion but are solely designed to get a reaction or get under someone’s skin? And yes we all choose to be here aware of what may be posted. Does that make it ok for people to still post vile comments, abusive comments and bully others? Again taking responsibility away from those posting and laying it on those that read it. If people on here jumped down their throats for posting such shit then it’d be the decent people on here that would come out the winners! | |||
"And yes we all choose to be here aware of what may be posted. Does that make it ok for people to still post vile comments, abusive comments and bully others? Again taking responsibility away from those posting and laying it on those that read it. If people on here jumped down their throats for posting such shit then it’d be the decent people on here that would come out the winners!" I agree with most of what you are saying but the nature of these forums is that not everything is as it seems. Many people throw forum grenades and run off only to return in the same thread using another profile they have conveniently created for just such a purpose. Trolls operate on many levels and it's easy to say that staying silent is wrong and they should be confronted. However in a lot of cases all that does is give them the oxygen they require. I've done most of what you have suggested. I've called people out, I've stood up for other posters and I've been a lone voice because the reality is that most people really don't care enough to get involved and are happy to sit back and let arguments develop. Sometimes silence is the way to go by not feeding the trolls. Those who are nasty and hateful and misogynistic need that validation and the more they get the nastier and more hateful they become | |||
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"I've done most of what you have suggested. I've called people out, I've stood up for other posters and I've been a lone voice because the reality is that most people really don't care enough to get involved and are happy to sit back and let arguments develop. " In the short time I’ve been on these forums I’ve seen you as a regular poster in a lot of threads and would say you’re a well respected member on here. While it may feel like you’re banging your head against a wall calling out trolls etc I’ve no doubt that someone on the receiving end of abuse etc would take comfort from someone like yourself fighting their corner for them. A small thing like that goes a long way to negating other things that may have been said. I know trolls etc can never be fully stopped and will always find ways to get their message across, I just agree with the OP that it really is uncalled for and this would be a better place without those people. | |||
"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. " I agree with this | |||
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"My honest initial reaction to your post is to agree with you and say yes some people are quick to belittle and put people down and unfortunately it's the nature of social media and online forums. However on clicking the green arrow in an attempt to get some idea of what threads you have been posting to and the reaction you refer to all I can see are a number of occasions where you have snapped at a particular poster for simply asking a question. If you start a thread and someone asks a valid question about the thread or makes a humourous comment with no malicious intent it's just a matter of time before it kicks off if you react negatively rather than simply engaging politely. You can of course have a go if you don't agree with my assessment as you are entitled to but I won't be commenting again. " I must have been looking at the same threads as you. Sorry OP, maybe you're perhaps misunderstanding people, but from what I can see, you come across as someone with a massive chip on his shoulder. Someone had asked you a question, and you jumped on him accusing him of belittling you, when he'd done nothing of the sort. I could appreciate your rant about people being mean if that were the case, but in the threads you've posted to, I haven't seen anyone being mean to you at all. | |||
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"Manners cost nothing, it's all about thriving to be a good human being and making others feel comfortable and open on forums. There's really no excuse for their rudeness " | |||
"If you take the anonymous words that random people off the internet post to heart and do not see them for what they are. Then I’m sorry to say. That’s on you. Life is hard, it’s suppose to be. It’s a struggle for everyone and no one person or group has the monopoly on that struggle, you will get ridiculed, rejected, overlooked, ignored, defamed, lied about, humiliated and a thousand other things. That dear OP is life and that experience is not unique to you. The measure of who you are and your salvation, lies only in the way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again. What a bullshit post!!! Why is it on the OP if people hiding behind a keyboard post comments that he may take offence to? In your view people can post whatever they want without taking any responsibility themselves about the consequences of same!! Yes. It is called free speech. Are people not allowed opposing views? When you silence hatred, you push it down deeper, where it festers. Here people can see when such people say abhorrent things and either interact with them or not. But silence them? So they don’t expose themselves? Do you really know how dangerous that is? When do we stop silencing people? At what point do your words need silencing and perhaps, more importantly, who gets to decide? As for responsibility, firstly, when people say negative things or abhorrent things,, they have taken responsibility, regardless of consequence, just because you don’t see us blocking them, ignoring them, doesn’t mean that we aren’t, exclusion is better than silencing in this regards. Secondly, we all chose to be here on this site, we open ourselves up to the world, we need to take responsibility for that and understand that not everything we read we will like or agree with. But if jump down the throats of them posting it, then you validate their words and feed their ego. Who do you then think has won? You’re going off on a complete tangent here! There’s a big difference between free speech and hate speech. People with opposing views on things are quite entitled to use free speech to engage in discussions or arguments about various points. That kind of thing makes the world a better place. People actively going out of their way to makes posts on forums attacking either a person’s beliefs, sexuality or even the person themselves is hate speech. The OP pretty much asked for those people to not bother posting as opposed to asking the site to silence and not allow them post. Huge difference! Your initial post says it’s on the reader for taking anything they read to heart as opposed to the people who go out of their way to post such stuff. Then you say those who have posted have already taken responsibility for posting such negative or abhorrent things…….have they? Have they genuinely thought before posting about how their words might affect those that read them? Have they though about whether or not they really need to post words that add nothing to the actual discussion but are solely designed to get a reaction or get under someone’s skin? And yes we all choose to be here aware of what may be posted. Does that make it ok for people to still post vile comments, abusive comments and bully others? Again taking responsibility away from those posting and laying it on those that read it. If people on here jumped down their throats for posting such shit then it’d be the decent people on here that would come out the winners!" Who decides who is decent? And yes by reading something you are partly responsible. You made a choice to read something, to actively participate in an open forum where you are fully aware that other people may have a different opinion than you. That is a choice. That is a responsibility. These are words. YOU are the one that lets them have power. YOU are the one that lets them into you, lets them niggle and twist, writhe until they become like a cancer. You let them in. Fortunately I am not so insecure as to demand silence or use so freely the word hate. I look at the words that are written, by faceless people and I say “well I don’t agree with that” but I don’t need to call “bullshit”, if they choose to live by that sword then it is inevitable that they will die by it. Never silence hate, never. Because silent hate is insidious, it is the cancer that eats away at society. Let them speak, so that they are known. Let them stick their heads above the parapet and not whisper in the ears of kings, show me mine enemy | |||
