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Socials. Yes or no
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Good morning all. My first time posting.
Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.
This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Socials are an important step to help determine if you want to get physical with someone. Being selective about who you fuck doesn’t make this a dating site.
I would suggest you stick to what you want and find more compatible people. |
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Social first for us every time, no pressure, see if there's some chemistry between us. It's not dating it's just well... Social lol don't let anyone push you into an uncomfortable situation, do whatever makes you comfortable, best of luck OP x |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I always chat for a while first and then meet got a social. It doesn't matter how well you get on chatting I have found until you meet each other you don't actually know if there is any chemistry. So for me a social is important and saves any awkwardness. If someone doesn't want a social first that's grand they can go find someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree OP so much easier years ago....
Don't change, keep looking.
It's the only way people will respect what you want in the end.
I'd rather do without, than doing their way.
Keep going lovely  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer quality not quantity. I need to connect with someone so a social would be important. It also builds up the anticipation and longing. A quick roll in the hay would just be using someone as a vessel to "chuck my muck" and not overly satisfying. |
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I don't know where people get the idea that sex is super easy. They think logging onto a real basic profile with no or little photos and info then saying "let's meet" will just do it. If they can't be bothered, just pay for prostitution. It's our bodies which is a precious commodity. Not going to give it free to any Tom, Dick or Harry. Ludicrous attitude some people on here have.  |
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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago
Shropshire |
For me, a social is important, because like someone else said.. You can chat and get along so well, but it isn't until you meet someone in the flesh, that you get the true feeling for them. |
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I much prefer a social meet before anything happens. Am I odd in wanting to know if I actually get on with the people I have sex with?
Ideally I’d like to meet people I could have socials with regularly with no pressure on whether sex happens or not.
But like you say OP it seems an awful lot of people just want instashag… |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
We find socials are absolutely essential in establishing whether we wish to take things further or not. We would rather find out that we are not attracted or have nothing in common with another couple over a drink or two than in the awkward situation where some sort of play is expected. Not that it would stop us staying no in that circumstances either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all. My first time posting.
Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.
This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "
Stick to your preferred routine, social is a must. Even at the club one doesn't just get straight on the job.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all. My first time posting.
Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.
This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "
Hi OP and welcome to the forum
My advice is to keep doing what you're doing. I prefer to have a social first too and it's worked for me for 9 years.
NBVN x |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
If someone is not prepared for a social and prepared to walk away from that social without as much as a kiss then it speaks volumes as for their character and an easy way to decide if it's another one for the bin. Why would someone expect you to fall into bed with them without any effort or seduction, would be a very cold meeting. |
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Socials just add to the build up for me and I really enjoy them. It’s also our way of seeing if we’re all going to get along in the bedroom.
We’re not looking for quick one off meets so look for people who are wanting similar. You need to do this the way it suits you so don’t change what you’re comfortable with because of other people.
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to have a couple of socials before anything else. But then when meeting I like to get to know the people I plan to fuck. Do it your way no one can dictate that to you |
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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
We do socials first and aren't into banging complete strangers. It's good to get expectations out in the open. Don't want to stumble into bed with a single guy who's been feeding himself violent porn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being honest I would go with whatever made my meet feel comfortable, I’ll always have a no pressure no expectations approach anyway so even meeting in the flesh doesn’t mean sex is expected, saying that if the connection is intense and both minds are fully engaged it’s probably going to be instantly down to intense action  but again I can only speak for myself. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
It's a definite social first for me, even if on the rare occasion it's led to more immediately after. It's nice to meet people in a relaxed, no pressure environment and it can take me a while to make up my mind anyway. Hopefully you connect with those who are more compatible with you soon. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Good morning all. My first time posting.
Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.
This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "
If somebody says this is not a dating site, that is their idea and it is about what they are looking for.
I think the site is what you want it to be and if you like a social meet first (as I definitely do) then there is nothing wrong with that. You are not doing anything wrong, you are doing things your way which is great.
If somebody does not want to me me for a social I think that is an indicator we are likely to look for different things in people. |
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I always ask for a social meet first.
I know I am not some Greek god that ladies will want to shag asap
A social means the lady or couple realise that i'm actually a good guy, so we meet somewhere public, have a chat and go our separate ways.
Once they get a chance to chat privately some want to meet again for something more adult, some don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do socials first and aren't into banging complete strangers. It's good to get expectations out in the open. Don't want to stumble into bed with a single guy who's been feeding himself violent porn."
A coffee somewhere very public is a good way to find out if a man can behave in a socially appropriate way.
I always coffee first meet, no sex chat. No physical contact at all. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"We do socials first and aren't into banging complete strangers. It's good to get expectations out in the open. Don't want to stumble into bed with a single guy who's been feeding himself violent porn.
A coffee somewhere very public is a good way to find out if a man can behave in a socially appropriate way.
I always coffee first meet, no sex chat. No physical contact at all."
This is such a good point - I ll do a thread on this because I do not want to distract from this one. |
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I enjoy socials. A fun night out with someone who you can be open, flirty and naughty with. Even if there is no sexual connection it is always a fun night out.
Also, I wouldn't want to get a hotel room for the night and someone not show up or it actually be a fake account! |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I enjoy socials. A fun night out with someone who you can be open, flirty and naughty with. Even if there is no sexual connection it is always a fun night out.
Also, I wouldn't want to get a hotel room for the night and someone not show up or it actually be a fake account! "
Very true - I had not thought of that... the financial implications. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"No, too much like a date for me
Totally agree. I guess we are in the minority! Also, we only get one evening every few months to “play” so for us, drinks and a chat first just doesn’t work. "
I understand that and had not thought of the time constraints for some people. |
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I have a “social” condition stated on my profile.
In the last 5 years I have made one exception and it worked wonderfully but I wouldn’t scrap it ever, I’ll take each case on its own merit.
However I do agree with you that people seem reluctant of late, I’ve arranged 6 socials in the last month or so and 4 cancelled . It won’t affect my preference of meeting socially first though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do socials first and aren't into banging complete strangers. It's good to get expectations out in the open. Don't want to stumble into bed with a single guy who's been feeding himself violent porn.
A coffee somewhere very public is a good way to find out if a man can behave in a socially appropriate way.
I always coffee first meet, no sex chat. No physical contact at all.
This is such a good point - I ll do a thread on this because I do not want to distract from this one."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials are an important step to help determine if you want to get physical with someone. Being selective about who you fuck doesn’t make this a dating site.
I would suggest you stick to what you want and find more compatible people."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always a social here first. With no expectations.
In a public place.
"
Yes me too - also enables you to find out all the things they have obviously been lying about (they often think once you have met you won’t mind about the 5 year old pics, different height/weight etc)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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However the woman/ couple want to play it….want them to feel comfortable and relaxed and if a social helps that then all for it. If they just want to use me in a hotel room or theirs then that’s ok too as long as they are at ease.
Having said that a social is just an extension of fun, so it can tell a lot about a person before the shenanigans begin :D |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanku all for your replies. I was thinking things had changed. Glad to see I'm not the only one who finds socials a good way of finding people out xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a social is a must in my book but trying to get one these days is rarer than hens teeth some people like myself are better in person than behind a keyboard |
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Always a social first, correct it's not a dating site hence why it's a social and not a date, its also not "just shag" or "uber shags" you do what feels right for you and if people are pushy or funny about having a social then that would be the first red flag that they aren't going to be considerate in the bedroom.
Mr Hayes |
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Welcome to the forums OP.
I have always done a social first and it does say on my profile.
If guys aren't happy with that then they can jog on to someone who.is willing not too. I see it as a bullet dodged x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social first for us every time, no pressure, see if there's some chemistry between us. It's not dating it's just well... Social lol don't let anyone push you into an uncomfortable situation, do whatever makes you comfortable, best of luck OP x"
Name the pub |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I always do a social and I'm not looking to date, I'm in a relationship.
Socials are a great way to chat and have a laugh, no pressure and see if you're both attracted enough to meet again.
If someone doesn't want to meet socially, if just stop engaging with them. |
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"Good morning all. My first time posting.
Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.
This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "
I'd say to him well it might not be a dating site, but if you won't meet me for a social first then you're definitely not getting in my knickers!
It sounds like someone I know off here too tbh!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello OP. Welcome.
I can’t say I’m all that surprised at the attitude you’ve met. I haven’t read the rest of the thread but I can imagine many would have told you to ignore those men for spouting excuses about this not being a dating site.
Each to his own if he comes across a woman who wants what he does. Many others don’t and want a connection first. I believe the site has swelled and the new members may lack a certain grace and manners that were commonplace a few years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they don't want a social they just want a shag... I ain't up for that... Or they would be too embarrassed to be seen out with me... Also not up for that either... I pretty much only meet socially these days  |
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We don’t do socials, because we don’t meet outside of a club so no point. The “social” for us is at the club. If people want to play they need to come along on nights we go and see if we get on. As always, no guarantees though. |
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By *vriderMan
over a year ago
Chester |
"My preference is meet, make sure we're both not serial killers, then back to the place for sex.
But respect others rules and wants. "
Tbf, what are the chances of the person you meet being a serial killer too?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always always always a social should be the first thing organised and go in with lots of anticipation but no expectations other than pleasant company...anything that happens during or after should be considered a major bonus |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting
Absolutely. We do the same every time
Hello  "
Good afternoon Young Private x |
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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago
Walking down the only road I've ever known! |
"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting
Absolutely. We do the same every time
Hello
Good afternoon Young Private x"
Should I bring my kissing stool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always a social for us first. We like to laugh and chat and see if we're actually gonna get on.
If you can't have a laugh and a carry on, there's no chance of us wanting to invite you to our boudoir |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting
Absolutely. We do the same every time
Hello
Good afternoon Young Private x
Should I bring my kissing stool "
Stop it sexy bum x |
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If someone thinks they can decide they want to fuck me after half a dozen messages, without talking to me or seeing me in the flesh, (so to speak) I probably don't want to fuck them.
Social first, neutral ground. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"If someone thinks they can decide they want to fuck me after half a dozen messages, without talking to me or seeing me in the flesh, (so to speak) I probably don't want to fuck them.
Social first, neutral ground."
Good to see you back |
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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago
Walking down the only road I've ever known! |
"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting
Absolutely. We do the same every time
Hello
Good afternoon Young Private x
Should I bring my kissing stool
Stop it sexy bum x "
Nope, you want me to look you in the eyes don't you x |
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"If someone thinks they can decide they want to fuck me after half a dozen messages, without talking to me or seeing me in the flesh, (so to speak) I probably don't want to fuck them.
Social first, neutral ground.
Good to see you back "
Thanks very much. Hope you're both ok.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting
Absolutely. We do the same every time
Hello
Good afternoon Young Private x
Should I bring my kissing stool
Stop it sexy bum x
Nope, you want me to look you in the eyes don't you x "
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Good morning all. My first time posting.
Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.
This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "
Depending how well the chatting has went actually getting to know each other and not wanting to leap straight forward but wanting to explore further with a social is like continuing the chemistry but in person something that I enjoy and think is sensible as much as important |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd only ever meet with the intention to fuck straight away if I'd spent a long time speaking with said person and knew they were genuine through video chats etc.
But I would never ever risk it with someone I didn't know well. I'd always have a social first to make sure we clicked and it felt right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m going to give the social thing a try. If I don’t like it won’t try it again. At least I know straight away what people I’m dealing with, rather than like looking at a picture or video. |
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