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Swinging woman- a special breed
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I believe that swinging woman are a special breed. I think that they are wired differently to most woman particularly in regard to being able to have guilt free casual sex. I think they think like men sexually. What are your views? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree that most women aren't interested in this. Most of my female friends would judge me for being here.
Not sure how it compares to men though, I don't just sleep around, I'm still very selective with who I play with. I don't know if men are, but given how many copied and pasted messages I get, I'm guessing they're less so lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people have high sex drives, men or women. It would be interesting to check the hormone levels.
It is also a different perception of what sex represents. "
Good to have such expert anthropological insight as always. I enjoy your discussion threads immensely. |
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"Some people have high sex drives, men or women. It would be interesting to check the hormone levels.
It is also a different perception of what sex represents. "
I'm not sure if it's that though to be honest. I had a higher sex drive before I became a swinger but I mostly ignored it or dealt with it myself  . I think it's much more about the attitude part. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men should sexually think like women....
 "
Nice idea but unlikely to happen on a widespread scale. Women can definitely be influencers in this way one to one though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people have high sex drives, men or women. It would be interesting to check the hormone levels.
It is also a different perception of what sex represents. "
I think it’s a lot to do with the perception you have of sex, and whether someone likes to try out different people…’because you might have a very high sexual appetite (hormonally) but you might still remain mostly monogamous with one Fuck buddy. |
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I agree OP. I am not sure I buy the argument that women are not interested in sex. I just think that society has conditioned them not to talk about it. Every woman I have spoken to about sex (swinging friends or otherwise) has always said they love it. When you see a group of women out in a pub or somewhere similar the conversation is often about sex or something similar. |
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"Some people have high sex drives, men or women. It would be interesting to check the hormone levels.
It is also a different perception of what sex represents.
I'm not sure if it's that though to be honest. I had a higher sex drive before I became a swinger but I mostly ignored it or dealt with it myself . I think it's much more about the attitude part. "
I agree that it has to be both. Like a nature or nurture discussion. There will be individuals who are exceptions but many will have a high sex drive (either due to hormones or neurological hard wiring) and then have an attitude or belief system that allows it. Then they need opportunity too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people have high sex drives, men or women. It would be interesting to check the hormone levels.
It is also a different perception of what sex represents.
I'm not sure if it's that though to be honest. I had a higher sex drive before I became a swinger but I mostly ignored it or dealt with it myself . I think it's much more about the attitude part.
I agree that it has to be both. Like a nature or nurture discussion. There will be individuals who are exceptions but many will have a high sex drive (either due to hormones or neurological hard wiring) and then have an attitude or belief system that allows it. Then they need opportunity too. "
I have a high sex drive, and I had my hormones checked recently, they are all in the normal range. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree OP. I am not sure I buy the argument that women are not interested in sex. I just think that society has conditioned them not to talk about it. Every woman I have spoken to about sex (swinging friends or otherwise) has always said they love it. When you see a group of women out in a pub or somewhere similar the conversation is often about sex or something similar. "
Who’s not interested in sex? (I mean the asexuals exist but are one small fraction) Hah it’s a great topic of conversation and we all love being nosey bitches. But then again, not everyone is cut out to have 100s of different partners or wants to.
I still think there’s still a bit of prejudice (tho we are very liberal sexually here in the U.K.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do men and women really think differently about sex or the emotional impact that sex has on them?
I think that's the real difference. Enjoying sex and different sexual situations can be common. How it makes you feel and why you do it will differ for everyone and more generally between a man and a woman. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I can't have guilt free casual sex in the way a man could. Well I could (and did in my past) but I don't want to, it doesn't hold any interest for me. Perhaps some women could but choose not to because they know what they want.
On a personal note I'm aware that my hormones are imbalanced (thanks medical condition) but I'm not sure that's what causes my attitude to sex - it might facilitate me being more keen to seek out sexual encounters but societal teachings/conventions often.
I don't think swinging women are "wired differently" in all honesty. What I do think is there's more self honesty, less acceptance of social conditioning and more desire to explore their desires. It doesn't mean they think about sex in a way the stereotypical man does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s definitely an interesting topic, I would say SOME men are here to just have easier access to sex with others, some are here with a completely different mindset towards sex and understand and respect more what others are and aren’t looking for, I certainly couldn’t or wouldn’t just meet anyone for sex, personally I still have standards and need my mind to be involved and engaged, I’d rather not meet at all than have a pointless fuck with somebody I have no connection with. |
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I can only talk about myself and how I feel about sex and swinging. Yes, I do believe I have high sex drive, have tried monogamous relationships before and my sex drive was a problem quite a few times. Therefore I decided I am not cut out for monogamy. I also like my variety that I can only get through having more than one sexual partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say it's less common than men but plenty of women love casual sex. Often it's a confidence thing, all my friends would love to swing like I do, but don't have the confidence xx |
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"I'd say it's less common than men but plenty of women love casual sex. Often it's a confidence thing, all my friends would love to swing like I do, but don't have the confidence xx"
I often hear women say that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's also interesting how what people think, people think influences how people behave. I think there are more people out there who would like to be more sexually liberal but are discouraged by the perception of peer pressure.
I wonder if that affects women more than men? |
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"It's also interesting how what people think, people think influences how people behave. I think there are more people out there who would like to be more sexually liberal but are discouraged by the perception of peer pressure.
I wonder if that affects women more than men?"
It's more society than peer pressure. Even look at the language that describes men and women who have more than one sexual partner.
Men: "players", "stags", though lately a term "manwhore" is appearing but still without as negative meaning as for women
Women: "sluts", "slags", "whores" etc.
Which terms are more negative?
You have to be quite strong within yourself to ignore it and enjoy yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men should sexually think like women....
Nice idea but unlikely to happen on a widespread scale. Women can definitely be influencers in this way one to one though. "
It's a shame, think how great it would be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree OP. I am not sure I buy the argument that women are not interested in sex. I just think that society has conditioned them not to talk about it. Every woman I have spoken to about sex (swinging friends or otherwise) has always said they love it. When you see a group of women out in a pub or somewhere similar the conversation is often about sex or something similar. "
 this is it.
We are ‘told’ through society from a young age what our place is, how we should behaviour, what we like and learn quickly to judge our bodies harshly. Friends have negative feelings around sex; often embarrassed that they like it or Led to the thought they should!!!
Women on here aren’t special they just refuse social norms. |
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I don't know so much about wired differently, but swinging women are certainly far more clued up to the fact that you can keep eroticism, and sexual satisfaction in one box, and feelings of emotional attachment in another. Too many years of straight dating sites have proved that point to me. I believe that it's also why I can only develop a successful relationship with a lady who can think along those lines. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In my experience the vast majority of woman are scared to death of casual sex and therefore hold themselves back. One reason why I think Anne Summers has done so well. It's therefore a joy to come on this site and meet ladies that love sex and don't regret it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's interesting thinking about this. I do seem to have 2 distinct groups of female friends. Most have only had 1-4 sexual partners, very vanilla and are mostly in steady relationships. Then a couple of friends like me, that have had 10s or 100s of sexual partners and don't mind shagging someone they've just met for fun.
As I said in my previous post, several in my first group of friends long to be in the latter, but confidence and probably social stigma stop them. Or they're stuck in monogamous relationships. Xx |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"In my experience the vast majority of woman are scared to death of casual sex and therefore hold themselves back. One reason why I think Anne Summers has done so well. It's therefore a joy to come on this site and meet ladies that love sex and don't regret it. "
You're speaking on behalf of the majority of women - wow!
I wouldn't assume a majority or a minority because there's a whole wide range between monogamy and casual sex, but I can assure you that many women aren't scared, they just don't want either! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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One big reason why I think swinging woman are wired differently is because unlike the vast majority of woman there doesn't seem to be the need for an emotional connection in order for them to enjoy sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One big reason why I think swinging woman are wired differently is because unlike the vast majority of woman there doesn't seem to be the need for an emotional connection in order for them to enjoy sex. "
I think you're just making things up now |
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I don't do casual. They are all repeats. But i have surprised myself by my utter lack of jealousy. Whether i could do it as part of a regular couple i don't know. And that would only be doing it together for sure.
Horses for courses i guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience the vast majority of people are scared to death of casual sex"
There, fixed that for you. However, given the possibilities for pregnancy, STIs, abuse etc it doesn't seem unreasonable for the majority of women to decide that shagging every cock that offers itself isn't a great option.
I think you'll find that most swinging women (if we must generalise) are still pretty choosy. |
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"I believe that swinging woman are a special breed. I think that they are wired differently to most woman particularly in regard to being able to have guilt free casual sex. I think they think like men sexually. What are your views?"
I don't think that I think like men sexually.
I do have a pretty high sex drive, like to play hard and often, and I am far more attracted to women than I have ever been men.
My Husband is happy for us to allow ladies to come and play, it's just the way I am, don't see it as being a special breed. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I think If you’re a dirty bitch then you’re a dirty bitch regardless, no matter where you hang out.
It’s just that most women on here are after something specific to them, and this is the best place (for them) to find it.
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I don't think women who swing think like men or are special breed. They're just women being women.
If a woman doesn't fit with preconceived ideas of how she should be it seems to confuse and the only reference point is to compare her to a man  |
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I think every woman here will pretty much know exactly what she wants but it doesn’t always comply with NSA. Some women don’t have the ability to emotionally detach themselves once they meet someone. For many it becomes akin to a dating site which it really isn’t |
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"I believe that swinging woman are a special breed. I think that they are wired differently to most woman particularly in regard to being able to have guilt free casual sex. I think they think like men sexually. What are your views?"
Agreed 100%  |
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"Well, women are constantly told that being sexual is shameful. It's not easy to rise above judgment. "
No it isn't and being marked out as a special breed for certain sexual inclinations doesn't help. Most humans enjoy sex some more and some less than others and in varying ways. Only when its accepted that women (and men) can enjoy legal and consensual sex however they want without being compartmentalised will all this flaming nonsense stop
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I do not agree with the idea that swinging women are a special breed.
Decades ago you could have argued the same about women who drink alcohol, go to work or do other things usually (culturally/ historically ) associated with male behaviour.
Swinging women are perhaps just that little bit more adventurous, more curious, more creative in their imagination and less inhibited by traditionally imposed morality; in short women actually enjoy sex and are not afraid to ask for it.
I think more deeply than some and see myself as more liberated than most, swinging is just a tiny part of it.
I am neither ashamed nor proud nor anything else really - just happy to dip in and out of the lifestyle occasionally and meeting similarly minded people.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting thinking about this. I do seem to have 2 distinct groups of female friends. Most have only had 1-4 sexual partners, very vanilla and are mostly in steady relationships. Then a couple of friends like me, that have had 10s or 100s of sexual partners and don't mind shagging someone they've just met for fun.
As I said in my previous post, several in my first group of friends long to be in the latter, but confidence and probably social stigma stop them. Or they're stuck in monogamous relationships. Xx"
I think this is very true .. I also seem to have the same type of 2 category with my girl friends
I still think it’s a lot to do with how confident a woman is and if she cares about the judgement/stigma from casual sex
Some might fantasise about being more promiscuous but just keep it as fantasy |
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