FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are You Ugly?..........
Are You Ugly?..........
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"Sharon is very attractive and says she would never go out with an ugly guy. Guess I can't be that ugly then..." not wanting to boast - but my hubby is as ugly as f@c# - but i love him.. | |||
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"quite often feel down and ugly or a little bit fat with my 2 chins and 2 bellys lol.. it`s just the way normal people feel sometimes against the beautiful.. " 2 chins and 2 bellies?well there are 2 of you in the couple isn't there? | |||
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 ). It could simply be her personality, or with some, how much inner sex appeal she oozes, even down to her laugh!
Yes, I have met some ladies who have described themselves as athletic, when in reality, they have been anything but.
However, how someone describes themselves is subjective. Everyone will always embellish some facet of themselves to get somewhere with someone or something. It's Human Nature to do so! | |||
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"To be on the safe side, I usually wear a large brown paper bag over my head at meets so the others don't have to look at me!! "I appreciate the attempt to inject humour, but why did you feel the need to do it by putting yourself down? | |||
"An interesting little monograph. Just as you see attractiveness as, ultimately, 4th dimensional the same is true of ugliness. I have met some truly physically attractive people in their photographs only to find that their core is rotten. The Dorian Gray's. How one feels about oneself is a different matter. It might be distorted by some body dysmorphia caused by the messages, real or otherwise, they have heard. On another thread someone said that their mother told them they were ugly. Mine did the same. I look so much like her that one ex saw a photo of her and thought it was me. I have not grown to believe I am ugly and think I am quite attractive but I do not think of myself as worthy of attention, let alone more. What did my mother feel about herself? I don't really know but I suspect she was told she was ugly too. We are at least half of how others see us. Those with facial difigurements with a light that shines so brightly in them that you are drawn to them are never thought of as ugly. I do have concerns about the emphasis on a standard visual of 'beauty' that is being presented across the world. Black women lightening their skin and straightening their hair is because we have been presented with a 'white' image of attractive. Young men and women becoming anorexic because skin and bones has become and ideal. I don't know how we reverse this but maybe we should all re-read Fat is Feminist Issue and look at what it tells us about our minds, bodies and societal conditioning." A very interesting response, thank you. | |||
"I cannot answer for other people, however, I have never considered myself as ugly, physically or otherwise. There are physical features that I am proud of, and am good at making the most of what my maker has given me. I have strengths that I am very proud of, such as honesty, integrity and dependability, creativity, and a quick wit. Those who reject me based on physical attributes are unlikely to appreciate my none physical strengths. They are likely to be too shallow for my liking. For me to like a person, he/she needs to have depths, to make me want to know more about that person. The inner beauty of a person will last long after his/her physical attributes have deteriorated, or lost completely. I miss the inner beauties of those that I have lost the most. Hope this makes sense. "Makes perfect sense, thank you. | |||
"I think all you said is spot on re the layered dimension of peoples views. There is a mainstream view of attractiveness that most folk would agree on but most definitely the sexiest thing is intelligence, wit and personality - however for a swinger site in particular that probably means they need to have some kind of physical attractiveness too. I think we need all our senses to be stimulated to have the best of swinging - the ones on here that think swinging=fucking are those that do not understand what swinging is really about . NSA means exactly that but not fucking on request. " Thank you. I suppose swinging means different things to different people, maybe instant short term gratification simply does not require attraction beyond the very basic. | |||
"Physically i hand on heart do not believe i am an ugly person, however there are traits to my personality that are." Those traits that you see as 'ugly', do you believe they are universally ugly? | |||
"From my point of view when considering someone for a meet, I always work on the format that every woman has some aspect of "beauty" about her. It might be how she looks facially, her body, her legs, how she dresses, or how she looks undressed ( ). It could simply be her personality, or with some, how much inner sex appeal she oozes, even down to her laugh!
Yes, I have met some ladies who have described themselves as athletic, when in reality, they have been anything but.
However, how someone describes themselves is subjective. Everyone will always embellish some facet of themselves to get somewhere with someone or something. It's Human Nature to do so!"Have you always managed to find some beauty in every women you've met? | |||
"Physically i hand on heart do not believe i am an ugly person, however there are traits to my personality that are. Those traits that you see as 'ugly', do you believe they are universally ugly?" jealousy.. and although i once tried to put a spin on it and say 'well if i didnt care id not be jealous' i since realized its all ugly | |||
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i think most of those that call themselves ugly will be doing so from life/real world experience. whether ur attractive or unattractive the people out there in the real world are gonna let you know about it one way or another
depending which way ur majority goes, majority tends to rule | |||
"Ugly for me is about personality and looks, i believe there are very few peoople that have nothing going for them. Plain people can radiate with a wonderful personality. But then ugly is about personality, someone can be seen as physically attractvie but have and ugly personality. Majority of people fall in the average looks some at the bottom end of the scale and some at the top. But physcially i find very few truelly ugly people" Personally I feel as if im in the plain Jane category I'm not gorjus by any means but I also don't believe I'm ugly I do however seem to hold a room and my pals are often in awe of me and my confidence which seems to attract people to me, I think my attitude and obvious love and acceptance for myself shines and radiates out of me I firmly believe that although not many of us can see a persons aura I believe our sixth sense picks up on it | |||
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"...........how would you know? Been on here a while now and having read the upteenth thread on looks, size, attractiveness, ugliness etc I wanted to ask a question. If you can be bothered to read this my question is at the end of the post. The fact is that if you take a cross section of society, put them in a room and show them pictures of straHngers, some pictures will be labelled ugly by the majority whereas some will be labelled attractive by the similar majority. Lets not sugarcoat it, when groups of people assess anyones purely physical appearance no one is 'gorgeous' to everyone. Nobody is hideously ugly to everyone. The overwhelming majority of us sit somewhere in the middle of the bell curve. I class attraction based on a 'picture' idea of someone as 2 dimensional. NOBODY is a picture, they are more than that. If you see someone in real life you are faced with the 'picture' of that person (the purely physical visual), but you also immediately see so much more. You see their mannerisms, you may hear their voice, their dress sense, their demeanor. In fact the 'picture' quickly becomes lost in so much more. I class this attraction, based on observation in the real world, as 3 dimensional. When you actually meet someone, you've normally gone through the 2 dimensional and 3 dimentional stage, sometimes very quickly. Once you start to converse, either initially with body language and then verbally you start to appreciate things like levels of intelligence, ability to socially interact, wit, humour, manners, patience, generosity, in fact all the qualities that make an individual what they are. I class attraction based on this as 4th dimensional. I totally believe that attraction based on the 4th dimension means more and lasts longer than the 3rd which in turn lasts longer than the 2nd. The problem is apart from maybe forums and possibly some very good profiles, using the Internet to attract is currently dominated by the 2 dimensional, which in turn feeds even more of our societies obsession with the 2 dimensional image of people. So if you bothered to read all that, you'll be asking what's the point of my thread, well I guess it's bit of a rant but with a curious edge. I really dislike when anyone descibes themselves as ugly. Oh I know some are just attention seekers wanting the sycophants to disagree, but some seem to really mean it. Have they really lost themselves completely in the 2 dimensional world? I don't know why but I find that thought quite sad. Will that only get worse in the future as the net takes over more and more? I know we all live in the real world, but as individual adults are we losing touch or diminishing the value of what I call the 3rd and 4th dimension of attractiveness? How does anyone know they're ugly? " See - now this is what I meant yesterday!!! Well put spice!! Gold star!! Personally I believe you should take others opinions with a major pinch of salt, evaluate their motives, decide how much faith you have in their opinion - and then sod em - and revel in your own beauty - be it inner, outer or in most cases - a healthy dose of both!!  | |||
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"....... How does anyone know they're ugly? " Actually there is a test…. or list of measures if you like. It starts with face symmetry and then goes on to look at the size and proportion of the facial features. | |||
"Can i be bold ? But sorry im defo not ugly if i was chocolate id eat myself sorry but i have alot of self worth couldnt care if someone ever said i was ugly because i wouldnt believe them, im never down on myself and my hubby is a hottie aswell xxx everyone should love themselves xxxx" Pmsl I am going to try that what a great response. "Jesus your ugly ! " "sorry I don't believe you" | |||
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"quite often feel down and ugly or a little bit fat with my 2 chins and 2 bellys lol.. it`s just the way normal people feel sometimes against the beautiful.. " Totally agree i feel ugly most of the time but people say "no your not" Years of psychological and other abuse leaves it marks I do sometimes feel okay but not gorgeous make up is great because folk cant see the real me | |||
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I've never really gone for the drop dead jaw dropping type because there usually morons whanting you to stroke there ego insted of enjoying eachother ! | |||
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"Another really "cool" thread, Blackspice, and one that makes me want to post. I agree with the notion of a multi-layered concept of dimensional beauty or attractiveness. Furthermore, some of what we consider attractive has its roots in transference which is based on our individual childhood/adolescence experience. Furthermore, there are cultural, racial and historical aspects to what is considered attractive. Personally I have an idea of what I am likely to be attracted to in a man - and an even clearer picture as to what would not be attractive. Interestingly, while a "less attractive" (by my standards)man can "win" me over through a great personality and intellect - this would not necessarily make him sexually attractive. I might like him as a friend but would not consider him for sexual encounters. Conversely, a "physically attractive" (again by my standards) man who lacks personality and intellect could not win me over if on opening his mouth he reveals an unpleasant character or comes across as being a bit thick. I guess the bottom line for me is that even in the swinging scene.... I need a modicum of both - and perhaps that is why I choose not to meet that many people. " Think that sums it up nicely!!!! Fancy a shag? | |||
"Another really "cool" thread, Blackspice, and one that makes me want to post. I agree with the notion of a multi-layered concept of dimensional beauty or attractiveness. Furthermore, some of what we consider attractive has its roots in transference which is based on our individual childhood/adolescence experience. Furthermore, there are cultural, racial and historical aspects to what is considered attractive. Personally I have an idea of what I am likely to be attracted to in a man - and an even clearer picture as to what would not be attractive. Interestingly, while a "less attractive" (by my standards)man can "win" me over through a great personality and intellect - this would not necessarily make him sexually attractive. I might like him as a friend but would not consider him for sexual encounters. Conversely, a "physically attractive" (again by my standards) man who lacks personality and intellect could not win me over if on opening his mouth he reveals an unpleasant character or comes across as being a bit thick. I guess the bottom line for me is that even in the swinging scene.... I need a modicum of both - and perhaps that is why I choose not to meet that many people. Think that sums it up nicely!!!! Fancy a shag? "Thought you were hung over? Ah, now I understand... you have been looking at my profile through whiskey googles | |||
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"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?"" And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes... | |||
"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?" And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes... "Yep! Sometimes they make really nice cakes!!!! | |||
"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?" And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes...
Yep!
Sometimes they make really nice cakes!!!! "You!!!!!! Honestly... you are soooooo shallow! | |||
"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?" And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes... "welll i did mean everyones perspective lol, but u get my point.Personally a high maintenance gorgeous(by peoples standards),self obsessed etc...would be far more ugly to me than a geeky plain scientist girl(she'd have to have bouts of fun aspects though). | |||
"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?" And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes...
welll i did mean everyones perspective lol, but u get my point.Personally a high maintenance gorgeous(by peoples standards),self obsessed etc...would be far more ugly to me than a geeky plain scientist girl(she'd have to have bouts of fun aspects though). "Agreed and yes, I did get you totally - (shame only on the forum lol) and I was just being a bit mischievous | |||
"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?" And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes...
Yep!
Sometimes they make really nice cakes!!!! You!!!!!! Honestly... you are soooooo shallow! "Just being honest!! A nice cake can tip the balance on the 'do I/don't I' dilemna!! Had I been shallow I'd simply have stated that a 'wazzer pair of jugs' or a 'bum that could crack walnuts' would equally tip the balance!! | |||
"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?" And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes...
welll i did mean everyones perspective lol, but u get my point.Personally a high maintenance gorgeous(by peoples standards),self obsessed etc...would be far more ugly to me than a geeky plain scientist girl(she'd have to have bouts of fun aspects though). Agreed and yes, I did get you totally - (shame only on the forum lol) and I was just being a bit mischievous "hey Aphrodite..Ive just taken one of those nutty professor potions..I'm now A BUFF self obsessed HUNK...I wouldnt shag u | |||
 Very Heavy topic for sswingers sex dating site lol
We all come on here for our reasons and with that comes risks; are we fit/clean/smart/intelligent/sexy enough to satisfy other interest in me sort of thing ...
Beauty is in the beholder and comes from within and your personality allows you to express that beauty to others ......... or your just a minger in which case bulk buy some paper bags lol hehehe
come on you didnt expect a serious answer from me did you lol
NB: note to self to cut down on coffee | |||
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"judging by the response I get on here. I have to assume Im UGLY "Now take that right back Frank!!! I wont have you put yourself down in that way!  | |||
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(sorry, I know I said it'd be a serious post but you know I can't help myself)) | |||
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"I am minging" you cant be as you make me smile alot here , lol | |||
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".......... Have they really lost themselves completely in the 2 dimensional world? I don't know why but I find that thought quite sad. Will that only get worse in the future as the net takes over more and more? I know we all live in the real world, but as individual adults are we losing touch or diminishing the value of what I call the 3rd and 4th dimension of attractiveness? " Do you really think it is the internet which is doing this? If the internet vanished tomorrow, do you think anything would change in the way people perceive themselves? Do many of the answers to your question, no matter how much people take the middle line and say 'average' just not go to prove how important it really is to them....... surely the answer to 'how do you know if you are ugly' should be.... "I don't know and I don't care". | |||
"Can i be bold ? But sorry im defo not ugly if i was chocolate id eat myself sorry but i have alot of self worth couldnt care if someone ever said i was ugly because i wouldnt believe them, im never down on myself and my hubby is a hottie aswell xxx everyone should love themselves xxxx Pmsl I am going to try that what a great response. "Jesus your ugly ! " "sorry I don't believe you" "Fantatsic !!! | |||
"Can i be bold ? But sorry im defo not ugly if i was chocolate id eat myself sorry but i have alot of self worth couldnt care if someone ever said i was ugly because i wouldnt believe them, im never down on myself and my hubby is a hottie aswell xxx everyone should love themselves xxxx Pmsl I am going to try that what a great response. "Jesus your ugly ! " "sorry I don't believe you" "Fantatsic !!! | |||
"...........how would you know? How does anyone know they're ugly? " if you are told often enough, then you believe it..... | |||
Im sure you are gorgeous | |||
"Brilliant post Blackspice and one that is going to get a rare serious answer off me....I seldom post on the attractiveness threads, I see myself as a normal woman, bit overweight, scrubs up reasonably well, plenty of wobbly bits and boobs that are more southern than KFC.....I'd never class myself as either attractive OR ugly as I know some folk call me gorgeous and I've had others not answer when I've sent a face pic so obviously I'm not their type.....that said for me, personality shines through, and if I received a message or series of messages that ran like a conversation, I'd be more likely to meet that person with a view to eventually getting together....whereas if I received a set of "Hi, how are you's" off a Beckham lookalike then I'd get fed up and block them......engage my brain and you've a much better chance of getting at my ladybits (I'd even consider giving them a wipe (sorry, I know I said it'd be a serious post but you know I can't help myself))"I am so totally stunned at seeing a serious post from you - but then you never let me down, do you? | |||
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"...........how would you know? Been on here a while now and having read the upteenth thread on looks, size, attractiveness, ugliness etc I wanted to ask a question. If you can be bothered to read this my question is at the end of the post. The fact is that if you take a cross section of society, put them in a room and show them pictures of strangers, some pictures will be labelled ugly by the majority whereas some will be labelled attractive by the similar majority. Lets not sugarcoat it, when groups of people assess anyones purely physical appearance no one is 'gorgeous' to everyone. Nobody is hideously ugly to everyone. The overwhelming majority of us sit somewhere in the middle of the bell curve. I class attraction based on a 'picture' idea of someone as 2 dimensional. NOBODY is a picture, they are more than that. If you see someone in real life you are faced with the 'picture' of that person (the purely physical visual), but you also immediately see so much more. You see their mannerisms, you may hear their voice, their dress sense, their demeanor. In fact the 'picture' quickly becomes lost in so much more. I class this attraction, based on observation in the real world, as 3 dimensional. When you actually meet someone, you've normally gone through the 2 dimensional and 3 dimentional stage, sometimes very quickly. Once you start to converse, either initially with body language and then verbally you start to appreciate things like levels of intelligence, ability to socially interact, wit, humour, manners, patience, generosity, in fact all the qualities that make an individual what they are. I class attraction based on this as 4th dimensional. I totally believe that attraction based on the 4th dimension means more and lasts longer than the 3rd which in turn lasts longer than the 2nd. The problem is apart from maybe forums and possibly some very good profiles, using the Internet to attract is currently dominated by the 2 dimensional, which in turn feeds even more of our societies obsession with the 2 dimensional image of people. So if you bothered to read all that, you'll be asking what's the point of my thread, well I guess it's bit of a rant but with a curious edge. I really dislike when anyone descibes themselves as ugly. Oh I know some are just attention seekers wanting the sycophants to disagree, but some seem to really mean it. Have they really lost themselves completely in the 2 dimensional world? I don't know why but I find that thought quite sad. Will that only get worse in the future as the net takes over more and more? I know we all live in the real world, but as individual adults are we losing touch or diminishing the value of what I call the 3rd and 4th dimension of attractiveness? How does anyone know they're ugly? " Hmm.I am not a Buddhist but sections of your post help me to understand why Buddhists talk about Westerners needing to 'quell the demons of their minds". | |||
"...........how would you know? How does anyone know they're ugly? if you are told often enough, then you believe it....." Only if you have a weak ego to begin with. | |||
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"Dunno .... are we? "Welcome back | |||
"Dunno .... are we? "Good to see you back | |||
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"Dunno .... are we? "Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again | |||
"Dunno .... are we?
Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again "rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol | |||
"Dunno .... are we?
Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again
rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol "Promises, promises... | |||
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"Dunno .... are we?
Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again
rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol
Promises, promises... "I've never been told I was ugly, but have been told I look scary on more than one occaision, that's why I wear the shades to soften my face | |||
"Dunno .... are we?
Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again
rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol
Promises, promises...
I've never been told I was ugly, but have been told I look scary on more than one occaision, that's why I wear the shades to soften my face "Scary, my arse...maybe on a dark night if I were up to mischief and bumped into you, but otherwise not a lot scares me (apart from me Mam when I'm in her bad books) I wear me shades to hide the fact that my eyes usually look like pissholes in the snow and farmers take pot-shots at my crow's feet | |||
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"im not ugly im more dopey looking " | |||
"Dunno .... are we?
Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again
rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol
Promises, promises...
I've never been told I was ugly, but have been told I look scary on more than one occaision, that's why I wear the shades to soften my face
Scary, my arse...maybe on a dark night if I were up to mischief and bumped into you, but otherwise not a lot scares me (apart from me Mam when I'm in her bad books) I wear me shades to hide the fact that my eyes usually look like pissholes in the snow and farmers take pot-shots at my crow's feet "Hey, I can do a look that would make Rambo shit himself
It's kept me safe on more than one occaision | |||
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"I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment.. is that wrong to feel??" no it isnt x | |||
"I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment.. is that wrong to feel??" let me feel you and I'll tell you | |||
"I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment.. is that wrong to feel??" hell no!! wooop wooop | |||
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"As the question is asked in the first person perspective I would say no I am not. "Is that based on comparing yourself to others or on? | |||
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"Dear Mr Spice.... If you want a real insight into where people place the importance of the two dimensional .... just post that since coming on here you have dropped your standards." if i am ugly i am in complete denial of the fact! | |||
"This is fascinating and well thought out thread,i suffered terribly from acne as a teenager,i hated going anywhere and showing my face to anyone,as i have become older my face has beome permanently scarred but now a lot of women say they find that attractive.I suppose the reality is society has dictated what ugly and beautiful is.ive met some really gorgeous people who are ugly on the inside and vice versa.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.Its like when you see a very attractive women with a not so attractive guy we wonder how the fuck they pulled them,not realizing that the relationship isnt just built on looks alone.Most beautiful women will only go with a hunky beautiful guy whom they believe are deserving of there beauty and time.Maybe we just naturally label ourselves and then try to find a partner who we believe is at the same level or slightly higher on the beauty scale than ourselves,we dont dare to try and go out of our league.It reminds me of the nightclub situation,at the beginning of the night all the guys are trying to pulthe best looking women in the club not realizing most of them have no chance,but give it a few hours and a few beers and at the end of the night all the guys are searching the club for fat women who they think will fuck them before its to late and time to go home" Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder. | |||
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"I don't consider myself anything special in the looks department, but I know some people who think I'm gorgeous. I'm certainly not going to disavow them of that opinion."
This goes for me too. I grew up believing I was 'ugly' due to sticky out ears, national health glasses and cheap haircuts. I fixed all those things and now consider myself 'unexceptional' yet sometimes I meet someone who seems to believe I am gorgeous. I have to say the compliments feel great, but I can't help thinking they must be mistaken. But if they are mistaken I am not going to try and correct their misapprehension lol. | |||
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