FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are the forums inclusive

Are the forums inclusive

By *r Misbehaviour OP Man over a year ago

Guildford

As public boards, many members use the forums, but I wonder, are they inclusive for all, do cliques exist, members clubs for the cool kids, but if a shame if they do, as just makes an open forum, a closeted one, only for those in the know.

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know, but felt like I couldn’t then ask, like it was a thread not for me.

So, how inclusive are the forums, should those that use them be more open and accepting to those new to using, or, should I stop caring, and accept that it’s much like a school playground here at times?

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By *LiamMan over a year ago

Midlands

Moaning about it makes it worse. Just post what you feel and keep it moving. Just the Internet at the end of the day

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

In what way? I chat to everyone. If I do threads I try and answer each person.

Ps. I’ve been here a while and regarding that thread I don’t know either!

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Of course you can ask what it means, no one will bite your head off for it

just ask

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have found them cliquey. I tend to not post much now. Your experience may be different though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As public boards, many members use the forums, but I wonder, are they inclusive for all, do cliques exist, members clubs for the cool kids, but if a shame if they do, as just makes an open forum, a closeted one, only for those in the know.

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know, but felt like I couldn’t then ask, like it was a thread not for me.

No just join in with the threads you understand and feel you can be a part of....

The other stuff you mentioned - is just bullshit to me, with a dose of paranoia .... sorry!

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By *r Misbehaviour OP Man over a year ago

Guildford

I’m not moaning, I’m asking a question about them.

I haven’t been negative, nor derogatory towards them or anyone one them.

A simple question about what people think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In what way? I chat to everyone. If I do threads I try and answer each person.

Ps. I’ve been here a while and regarding that thread I don’t know either!

I don’t know either

Op, just join in, it’s like being at a pub where you don’t know anyone, you just get to know people gradually.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you are reading too much into someone's attempt to captivate the imagination

There are lots of people that you spark with - their humour, background, commonalities .. And just like in real life, we have strangers /passing aquaintances that we are polite to and then family /friends where you have a connection and its like picking up a good book and writing the next chapter

Make it what you want it to be, rather than worrying about how others use it

Just jump in

Whats the worst that can happen??

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I think sometimes people forget that not everyone knows all the games and stuff so to them it's obvious and they therefore think it is to everyone. If you ask, many people will be more than happy to explain to you how it works

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

They can be cliquey and some posts can be overrun and taken totally off topic. I tend to just avoid these ones. Can't be doing with the playground mentality x

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"In what way? I chat to everyone. If I do threads I try and answer each person.

Ps. I’ve been here a while and regarding that thread I don’t know either!

This is the same for me too...

Never be afraid...remember there are no daft questions.

Well...If you don't include the one's I've been known to ask

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think sometimes people forget that not everyone knows all the games and stuff so to them it's obvious and they therefore think it is to everyone. If you ask, many people will be more than happy to explain to you how it works

. "

Definitely. I’ll sometimes come on and see a part 2 of something and it’ just says as you were and I’ve no idea what it is!

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

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By *r Misbehaviour OP Man over a year ago

Guildford

I’ve been in the scene in London for years, been in and out of afar multiple times.

I’m not paranoid as someone suggested, just at work with the way people treat one another, here, in real life, it’s a shame that people aren’t kinder to one another, more accepting and more understanding.

So those saying I’m having a moan, I’m not, I queried if people think the open forums are open and inclusive, it’s a simple question.

And for those that said I had a dose of paranoia, I don’t, I just wish people cared more for one another and made things as open as possible.

Like I said, I’m well versed in Fabland, the ups, and the incredible number of downs of it and how people respond, react and communicate with one another on here.

I guess I wish people were better. If you have to take something away from this thread it’s that, be better to one another.

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By *estcountryDadBodMan over a year ago

Exeter

I’ve found them very inclusive personally as a relative newbie.

I’d say ask mate, plenty happy to help and others not so much, same as life.

Just have fine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just post my thoughts on the topic at hand if people what to chat they chat if not then on to the next thread that catches my eyes maybe check back in on the thread couple off hours later to see maybe my comment has catches anyone eye if not then I don’t re check and on to the next one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In what way? I chat to everyone. If I do threads I try and answer each person.

Ps. I’ve been here a while and regarding that thread I don’t know either!

This is the same for me too...

Never be afraid...remember there are no daft questions.

Well...If you don't include the one's I've been known to ask

Me three

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just join in. Every post you make, makes the forums a richer experience for everyone.

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By *ancer36Woman over a year ago

Stirling

The mentality of the forums being a clique or a popularity contest may exist for some, I’m an adult this isn’t school and I treat people with respect, avoid drama and do my own thing.

Sure some of my comments get skipped over or people don’t interact with me but I figure I’m just not there type or they have a more familiar relationship with another person in the thread that’s life.

I have zero interest in being liked by everyone but I’m not a dick and I think that’s the best way to be, my advice would be if there’s something your unsure of just ask, plenty of approachable people on here despite what some may say.

I haven’t used the forums for long but have found them a good way to make connections and have some harmless banter, flirtation.

We should all be having fun here not making anyone feel left out, room for all of us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In what way? I chat to everyone. If I do threads I try and answer each person.

Ps. I’ve been here a while and regarding that thread I don’t know either!

I don’t know either

Op, just join in, it’s like being at a pub where you don’t know anyone, you just get to know people gradually. "

This is the exact analogy I say! 100%

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter. "

Best way CG xx

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think the forums can be *both* inclusive *and* exclusive - there are certain threads and posters that try to include all, and other threads where it's obviously just a small select group bouncing off one another.

Personally I take the view that the forums are for all and if I have something I think worth contributing to a particular thread then I'll do so - if it gets a response then great, if it doesn't then so be it, no skin off my nose in the slightest, I've said what I wanted to say and don't expect a response.

A lot of the time it doesn't mean you're being ignored so try not to take it that way.

And in the instance you gave OP, if you're not sure of something, just ask, if people give you grief for it, it says more about them than you

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By *etcplCouple over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

As long as you accept that just by posting you are not guaranteed anything then yes they are inclusive.

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

There’s lots of genuine friendships here so not surprising many banter with each other. I’ve not been back long and have picked up some lovely new friends

it’s just like a pub. Have a mooch round and get involved.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

Hello OP

I don’t know what they game is all about either.

No, I don’t think the forums are as inclusive as they could be. There are marked differences in how people respond to others based on who they are. This is age old.

Forums will always have the ‘popular’ kids, just like school, but remember, that will change. The ones that were popular when I first came are not so popular now. New kids come along and take over the helm.

Some use the forums to chat to their mates rather than the thread as a whole, some are accidentally overlooked and some are deliberately ostracised.

But … it is what you make if it. Join in the things you like and ignore the rest. The forums can be a lot of fun. It’s a reflection of society so not everyone will be your cup of tea and vice versa but you know that

Getting involved is the best way to feel part of it in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

it can be abit clicky, nowhere near as bad as the chat rooms we have found, but if you post often then people will get to know you, we enjoy the forums and we always welcome others if we know them or not

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In what way? I chat to everyone. If I do threads I try and answer each person.

Ps. I’ve been here a while and regarding that thread I don’t know either!

I don’t know either

Op, just join in, it’s like being at a pub where you don’t know anyone, you just get to know people gradually. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you are reading too much into someone's attempt to captivate the imagination

Make it what you want it to be, rather than worrying about how others use it

Just jump in

Whats the worst that can happen?? "

and this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is hard op...I've tried in the last few months to fit in....but if your face dont fit.....just avoid the popularity threads or start your own...if you wanna fit in look at my threads...and do the opposite lol but remember to have fun x

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter. "

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques

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By *gent CoulsonMan over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Best advise, take the forums with a pinch of salt, if you don't know or understand the concept of some thread games, ask, someone will always tell you how they work.

There are some lovely people in the forums, so just enjoy

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Been here for more years than I care to admit and yeah, much like any social group of people, either in person or online, there will be those who engage more with others for various reasons. Ca it cliquey if you like but you'd be hard pressed to find a group of people where that doesn't happen.

Some threads I know I'll disappear in a second as a sexier person comes along but if I feel like it I will still post and see what happens.

There's a good ebb and flow in terms of interactions.

I feel in your example that's more about your confidence than anything else. What stopped you from asking what the deal was?

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

This is what you do

OP start some threads and have fun

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques"

You are always so friendly and welcoming in your threads.

The best forum poster ever x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Oh come on Evie !

Sexier than you ??? Really ?

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By *agicfingers1Man over a year ago

near Brighton

I don't know if I fit in or not (probably not) but I try to have a laugh and don't take it too seriously. I'll just keep being me anyway

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

I'm not in a clique but i feel i have been around long enough to venture my opinion.

The forums are a big mix of people and within that are some friendship groups so you do respond differently to a friend's post. That's just human nature. There are a couple of guys here who can be savage if they disagree with you. But just let it roll off your back. Also you may find that until you are better known you won't get your posts replied to as much. Again it's nothing personal so let it roll off.

If you are a sensitive souls they can be brutal. But i have also seen them incredibly supportive.

Yes there are in jokes and threads that are pure popularity contests which i tend to ignore for obvious reasons

They are a great way to get you noticed and give you things to connect to others.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques

You are always so friendly and welcoming in your threads.

The best forum poster ever x"

Aww coming from you that means alot thankyou

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques"

You are one of the most inclusive people on here

and you know how to enjoy the forums

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Oh come on Evie !

Sexier than you ??? Really ?"

Oh grampalina x

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques

You are one of the most inclusive people on here

and you know how to enjoy the forums

Mwah xx

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques"

Exactly, but the cliques will invite themselves, unfortunately.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Oh come on Evie !

Sexier than you ??? Really ?"

It's hard to believe, I know but it's true

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques

Exactly, but the cliques will invite themselves, unfortunately.

And take over a thread...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/07/21 12:12:43]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

Some of the posts are, but I just don't involved in those ones.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

I never get involved in that drama

My threads are inclusive no hidden agenda

No cliques

Exactly, but the cliques will invite themselves, unfortunately.

People have tried to drag me into drama their drama no just no dont wana hear anything negative about another user you have a problem with someone go to them direct dont use me to back up what's not even an issue x

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience"

Not true

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

They may appear a bit cliquey at times but that's mostly just because it's people who have either spent time posting on them and have gotten to know others and they have a laugh and a bit of craic on here. The more you post the more you become known basically. I rarely get any replies here in the lounge but it doesn't bother me. It also doesn't mean people are ignoring me though. It's the same a anything the more effort you put in the more you are seen and people begin to interact more with you.

Never be afraid to post on any of the forum's in here. Ask questions if you don't understand something ye you might get a smartass reply from someone but others will usually answer you .Mostly just enjoy yourself on here.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I haven't been here long O.P. but here is my tuppence worth.

I just post. I don't seek permission or membership.

Cliques come and go and they are less cliques than they are transient huddles of souls in need of affirmation.

I prefer those that 'appear' to stand alone and treat all comers with the same level of respect.

I fucking can't STAND the droolers that only speak to the tits in the hope of their 'libido' being rubbed. Both sexes are as bad but then I guess if I was desperate enough for a fuck or attention i'd display publicly too .....

Uhmmmmm just include yourself in everything and let the preeners believe what they like.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I haven't been here long O.P. but here is my tuppence worth.

I just post. I don't seek permission or membership.

Cliques come and go and they are less cliques than they are transient huddles of souls in need of affirmation.

I prefer those that 'appear' to stand alone and treat all comers with the same level of respect.

Uhmmmmm just include yourself in everything and let the preeners believe what they like. "

The men

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By *oxy lady40Woman over a year ago

bridgwater

"I think the forums can be *both* inclusive *and* exclusive - there are certain threads and posters that try to include all, and other threads where it's obviously just a small select group bouncing off one another.

A lot of the time it doesn't mean you're being ignored so try not to take it that way.

And in the instance you gave OP, if you're not sure of something, just ask, if people give you grief for it, it says more about them than you

"
this

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"They may appear a bit cliquey at times but that's mostly just because it's people who have either spent time posting on them and have gotten to know others and they have a laugh and a bit of craic on here. The more you post the more you become known basically. I rarely get any replies here in the lounge but it doesn't bother me. It also doesn't mean people are ignoring me though. It's the same a anything the more effort you put in the more you are seen and people begin to interact more with you.

Hello Bo luv......

See how nice I am O.P. ?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

Yes can b very cliquey! But is best to contribute on posts and not take seriously I'd say! Just go with the flow and have fun x

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"I haven't been here long O.P. but here is my tuppence worth.

I just post. I don't seek permission or membership.

Cliques come and go and they are less cliques than they are transient huddles of souls in need of affirmation.

I prefer those that 'appear' to stand alone and treat all comers with the same level of respect.

Uhmmmmm just include yourself in everything and let the preeners believe what they like. "

Yayy! Granny knows

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

I'm here for the cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Best way to post be lighthearted don’t get offended, we all here for fun and make friends and have found some lovely ones too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know, but felt like I couldn’t then ask, like it was a thread not for me.

I don't think it's a playground (thats a derogatory term) I look at their posts as fun... Like you, I've made no connections, but my outlook of their posts, is totally different. Anyway, you've took the plunge and wrote one of your own - so that, in some way is a positive step

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Op, just join in, it’s like being at a pub where you don’t know anyone, you just get to know people gradually. "

This.. newcomers to the forum too so it might seem cliquey but trying to contribute and not sit quietly in the corner of the pub waiting for someone to approach us

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter. "

Back Stabbing ??? Only if you are in a clique do you get to sit in the toxic shit.

Arrest him !

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Hello Bo luv......

See how nice I am O.P. ? "

Hello Granny

She is nice OP .

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"I'm here for the cake "

It was about time someone mentioned cake

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I'm here for the cake

It was about time someone mentioned cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm just here for the free cake.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know, but felt like I couldn’t then ask, like it was a thread not for me.

I'd say you've made connections. If I see your name I know it means humour - confidence and contribution ....... not really interested in your boobs... sos

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

OP hasn't answered one of us

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I'm just here for the free cake. "

Same

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"I haven't been here long O.P. but here is my tuppence worth.

I just post. I don't seek permission or membership.

Cliques come and go and they are less cliques than they are transient huddles of souls in need of affirmation.

I prefer those that 'appear' to stand alone and treat all comers with the same level of respect.

Uhmmmmm just include yourself in everything and let the preeners believe what they like. "

You will find that as soon as a certain someone posts, you can guarantee other certain ones will follow.....its amusing to see

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By *jl1972Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

I think it's like a lot of forums, if you are not one of the regulars you will be mostly ignored. But then this happens in real life, once you have been around a while and people get to know you things do change.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm here for the cake

It was about time someone mentioned cake

I've got something really moist in the fridge Babs....

Most with fondant icing and walnuts on top ..... mmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience

Not true"

That is your opinion, doesn't make it fact.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm just here for the free cake.

Same "

It's good cake!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I haven't been here long O.P. but here is my tuppence worth.

I just post. I don't seek permission or membership.

Cliques come and go and they are less cliques than they are transient huddles of souls in need of affirmation.

I prefer those that 'appear' to stand alone and treat all comers with the same level of respect.

Uhmmmmm just include yourself in everything and let the preeners believe what they like.

You will find that as soon as a certain someone posts, you can guarantee other certain ones will follow.....its amusing to see"

Is it me ? Are the men after my Nora Batty's ? Be honest.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience

Not true

That is your opinion, doesn't make it fact. "

Yeah my opinion I get ignored missed out so...

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter.

Back Stabbing ??? Only if you are in a clique do you get to sit in the toxic shit.

Arrest him !"

(Blows raspberry)

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I'm just here for the free cake.

Same

It's good cake! "

Do tell

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"OP hasn't answered one of us"

Does he have to?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think they're great.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience

Not true

That is your opinion, doesn't make it fact.

Yeah my opinion I get ignored missed out so..."

But why. My experience of you has always been a good one.

I feel you are a popular person on the forum

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"OP hasn't answered one of us

Does he have to? "

No he doesn't dont twist it it would be nice to hear his opinion just like yours on every thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm just here for the free cake.

Same

It's good cake!

Do tell"

I had a pineapple upside down cake. Don't know who off. Did you send it?

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience

Not true

That is your opinion, doesn't make it fact.

Yeah my opinion I get ignored missed out so...

But why. My experience of you has always been a good one.

I feel you are a popular person on the forum"

No idea but I do get ignored alot

Doesn't bother me

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I'm just here for the free cake.

Same

It's good cake!

Do tell

I had a pineapple upside down cake. Don't know who off. Did you send it? "

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"OP hasn't answered one of us

Does he have to?

No he doesn't dont twist it it would be nice to hear his opinion just like yours on every thread "

How did I twist anything? You made a statement, I asked a question lol

No need to be so sensitive. Perhaps he is doing other things on a Tuesday lunchtime and will come back to the thread later.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"OP hasn't answered one of us

Does he have to?

No he doesn't dont twist it it would be nice to hear his opinion just like yours on every thread

How did I twist anything? You made a statement, I asked a question lol

No need to be so sensitive. Perhaps he is doing other things on a Tuesday lunchtime and will come back to the thread later. "

Hope so would be nice to hear his response xx

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"I haven't been here long O.P. but here is my tuppence worth.

I just post. I don't seek permission or membership.

Cliques come and go and they are less cliques than they are transient huddles of souls in need of affirmation.

I prefer those that 'appear' to stand alone and treat all comers with the same level of respect.

Uhmmmmm just include yourself in everything and let the preeners believe what they like.

You will find that as soon as a certain someone posts, you can guarantee other certain ones will follow.....its amusing to see

Is it me ? Are the men after my Nora Batty's ? Be honest."

You know its you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's lots of people that have been on this website for years and have met in the real world.

If you're not in that bracket (& I'm neither of these) you sort of have to barge your way in nicely/politely.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Some just get on more with others

Its fine xxx

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"I'm here for the cake

It was about time someone mentioned cake

I've got something really moist in the fridge Babs....

Most with fondant icing and walnuts on top ..... mmmmmm "

Granny you said the ‘m’ word

it’s ok when it’s cake though?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience

Not true

That is your opinion, doesn't make it fact.

Yeah my opinion I get ignored missed out so...

But why. My experience of you has always been a good one.

I feel you are a popular person on the forum

No idea but I do get ignored alot

Doesn't bother me"

Good. I can speak for others but I value your input on here

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Stay off the game threads.

For some being ignored or left out makes for an unpleasant experience

Not true

That is your opinion, doesn't make it fact.

Yeah my opinion I get ignored missed out so...

But why. My experience of you has always been a good one.

I feel you are a popular person on the forum

No idea but I do get ignored alot

Doesn't bother me

Good. I can speak for others but I value your input on here"

Thankyou xxx very kind x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the last few posts sum up the forums....taken over for the gang to chat amongst themselves....maybe that's why the OP hasn't replied because it feels like a closed shop

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I'm here for the cake

It was about time someone mentioned cake

I've got something really moist in the fridge Babs....

Most with fondant icing and walnuts on top ..... mmmmmm

Granny you said the ‘m’ word

it’s ok when it’s cake though?

Most or moist fanny

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I think the last few posts sum up the forums....taken over for the gang to chat amongst themselves....maybe that's why the OP hasn't replied because it feels like a closed shop"

Which your a part of

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Some just get on more with others

Its fine xxx"

True but when they derail a thread and make it all about the "flock" (I like that instead of clique)

Its a bit off putting.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Some just get on more with others

Its fine xxx

True but when they derail a thread and make it all about the "flock" (I like that instead of clique)

Its a bit off putting."

True x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm here for the cake

It was about time someone mentioned cake

I've got something really moist in the fridge Babs....

Most with fondant icing and walnuts on top ..... mmmmmm

Granny you said the ‘m’ word

it’s ok when it’s cake though?

I dunno what came over me ... the mmmmmmmmmmmm is creepy.

Yes. I've just passed a law.... it's okay to be creepy for cake......

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Would love to know who this clique/flock is

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Hello OP

I don’t know what they game is all about either.

No, I don’t think the forums are as inclusive as they could be. There are marked differences in how people respond to others based on who they are. This is age old.

Some use the forums to chat to their mates rather than the thread as a whole, some are accidentally overlooked and some are deliberately ostracised.

Getting involved is the best way to feel part of it in my opinion

Absolutely Babs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is hard op...I've tried in the last few months to fit in....but if your face dont fit.....just avoid the popularity threads or start your own...if you wanna fit in look at my threads...and do the opposite lol but remember to have fun x"

For the record mate, I like your posts

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"There’s lots of genuine friendships here so not surprising many banter with each other. I’ve not been back long and have picked up some lovely new friends

it’s just like a pub. Have a mooch round and get involved. "

I like this pub too

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By *heGateKeeperMan over a year ago

Stratford

I think the forums are far more inclusive than they have been at anytime in the last few years IMO.

I don’t know if the dreaded ‘C’ word has been used but I do think that being in with one or more does generally help!

I think you have to not take anything too personally. I often get ignored when I post, kill threads or make threads with no engagement. It’s not personal so don’t overthink it

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Would love to know who this clique/flock is "

It's very dependent on the observer.

They perceive it therefore it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

. "

This!

We didn't know how photo challenges worked, but we messaged one of the ringleaders, and they were very welcoming!

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Would love to know who this clique/flock is

It's very dependent on the observer.

They perceive it therefore it is."

It’s apparently been around years. Yet nobody ever says who it is

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

It’s funny how often here friendships are turned into a negative. They’re not necessarily at the expense of others enjoyment and we see countless make a friend threads here each week. I think getting on with people is a lovely thing. It’s important for people to consider whether they’re truly including others or not rather than finger pointing to ‘everyone else’ some folk here need a halo

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"I’m not moaning, I’m asking a question about them.

I haven’t been negative, nor derogatory towards them or anyone one them.

A simple question about what people think."

I make you right. Some threads seem more open to all... Some seem more implicitly for a group of buddies... I'm not moaning either!

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

This!

We didn't know how photo challenges worked, but we messaged one of the ringleaders, and they were very welcoming!"

I'm very glad to hear you got helped and I hope you enjoyed the photo challenge

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"It’s funny how often here friendships are turned into a negative. They’re not necessarily at the expense of others enjoyment and we see countless make a friend threads here each week. I think getting on with people is a lovely thing. It’s important for people to consider whether they’re truly including others or not rather than finger pointing to ‘everyone else’ some folk here need a halo

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

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By *r Misbehaviour OP Man over a year ago

Guildford

"I’m not moaning, I’m asking a question about them.

I haven’t been negative, nor derogatory towards them or anyone one them.

A simple question about what people think.

I make you right. Some threads seem more open to all... Some seem more implicitly for a group of buddies... I'm not moaning either! "

Exactly this.

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

. "

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On the whole yes, their are some lovely people that post and try to include all.

Where the 'clique' mentality comes in is you quickly see who people's friends are if you piss someone off. Comments can be brushed off as 'only having an opinion' when it's clear it's an attack on a certain individual. Also, taking over a thread to have a conversation rather than just inboxing each other I don't understand. Lamppost pissing at it's finest.

Try not to take it personally OP, like in life some people you like some people you won't. Don't be afraid to ask questions and get involved though, it's meant to be fun at the end of the day!

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

. "

Exactly. You have friends you’re in a clique.

I can’t be fuckin arsed with it. Grow the hell up ffs. So much hypocrisy on this thread.

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By *r Misbehaviour OP Man over a year ago

Guildford

I wasn’t finger pointing, it happened to be a thread that represented the point I was making, there are a lot of threads of that ilk, yours just happened to be the one that got me thinking about it. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This!

We didn't know how photo challenges worked, but we messaged one of the ringleaders, and they were very welcoming!

I'm very glad to hear you got helped and I hope you enjoyed the photo challenge

The photo challenges are a great example of inclusivity, imo.

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By *ancer36Woman over a year ago

Stirling

Couldn’t have said it better

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"On the whole yes, their are some lovely people that post and try to include all.

Try not to take it personally OP, like in life some people you like some people you won't. Don't be afraid to ask questions and get involved though, it's meant to be fun at the end of the day!"

100% agreed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sure some of my comments get skipped over or people don’t interact with me...

I haven’t used the forums for long but have found them a good way to make connections and have some harmless banter, flirtation. "

We don't skip your messages... Love the flirty banter, and reading others thoughts and opinions on subjects!

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

Though it would present a lot of opportunities for hate fucking...

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

I think you get out what you put in. During lockdown, was on here a lot, got my hairy chest known around these parts.

Took a break, came back and it was like starting all over again. When you post regularly you get to know the personalities and interactions are easier, there's a short hand between you and others.

There are very inclusive thread starters, like hot wife, and the pic challenge trio, or quartet, however they're rolling these days.

But you've just got to get stuck in. No sitting thinking I don't know these rules so won't ask or get involved. Just go for it.

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

It’s a general comment not in direct response to you OP

it’s a lovely place to make friends and it’s tough getting going sometimes, it just infuriates me when some folk use that as a negative.

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

Though it would present a lot of opportunities for hate fucking... "

Good point well made…

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Would love to know who this clique/flock is

It's very dependent on the observer.

They perceive it therefore it is.

It’s apparently been around years. Yet nobody ever says who it is

It's the Illuminati didn't you know

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By *ougie321Man over a year ago

Milford Haven

An easy answer would be no they are not. I’m fairly new to the site and so far choose to join in and eventually people will get to know you for your banter possibly quit wit replies and form friendships in this way. Admittedly there are the attention seekers or is that their wit. I prefer the forums to the numerous mail sending as we are not all just looking for a quick lay. You also read and see what people are really like.

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By *ancer36Woman over a year ago

Stirling

Sure some of my comments get skipped over or people don’t interact with me...

I haven’t used the forums for long but have found them a good way to make connections and have some harmless banter, flirtation.

We don't skip your messages... Love the flirty banter, and reading others thoughts and opinions on subjects! "

Oh thank you, I was just meaning in general that sometimes a thread moves that quickly it can happen. Always find your comments lovely xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

Though it would present a lot of opportunities for hate fucking... "

Coo yeah ........ my fanny would burn n shrivel

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

Though it would present a lot of opportunities for hate fucking...

Coo yeah ........ my fanny would burn n shrivel "

Overly toasted crumpet

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

Though it would present a lot of opportunities for hate fucking...

Coo yeah ........ my fanny would burn n shrivel "

Crusty Crumpet

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

It’s a board. You write words. Do you care if you get a response? I use the forums because “apparently” talking to yourself is frowned upon

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By *tue555Man over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

These forums are not inclusive simples. There are peer groups, cliques etc. They can be very unforgiving (being polite) if you do not fall in line.

But they can be very hurtful to some people for being a a good hearted soul, it is not the open it is the WhatsApp, PM that does the damage.

They are battle ground for attention seekers and attention needy.

So really it is about can't beat the join them or be on the fringes -

Tread lightly into the viepers nest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just join the forum as much as you have time and post your comments.. simple. Your opinion is as good at any. Mots are rubbish and not serious anyway lol and if some think they are serious juts laugh at them

As for your question about pick roulette

You pick a number and they send you a pic from the friends only album reacted to that number…

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By *assing Fancies xCouple over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

We find it is cliquey yes... some have genuine friendships with eachother and others just tend to interact with with those that they have built up a rapport with which is completely understandable and cool with us

I really wouldn't read to much into it, just do as we do and use the forum how you enjoy using it and interactions with others will always come

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"It’s a board. You write words. Do you care if you get a response? I use the forums because “apparently” talking to yourself is frowned upon "

Talking to yourself is a necessity, I do it because sometimes I need expert advice

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

"It’s a board. You write words. Do you care if you get a response? I use the forums because “apparently” talking to yourself is frowned upon

Talking to yourself is a necessity, I do it because sometimes I need expert advice

That's why I'm keeping on with mask wearing. How can I mutter under my breath my annoyances without it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s also worth mentioning, that sometimes people interact with those they feel safe with, with those they know and are comfortable with.

Sometimes, if I’m feeling a bit emotionally fragile, I might come on here and respond to a friend only, and not necessarily get involved in the bigger picture that day, I’d that makes sense?

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"It’s also worth mentioning, that sometimes people interact with those they feel safe with, with those they know and are comfortable with.

Sometimes, if I’m feeling a bit emotionally fragile, I might come on here and respond to a friend only, and not necessarily get involved in the bigger picture that day, I’d that makes sense?"

That makes perfect sense.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"It’s also worth mentioning, that sometimes people interact with those they feel safe with, with those they know and are comfortable with.

Sometimes, if I’m feeling a bit emotionally fragile, I might come on here and respond to a friend only, and not necessarily get involved in the bigger picture that day, I’d that makes sense?"

Yes I totally get that

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Yes they are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The mentality of the forums being a clique or a popularity contest may exist for some, I’m an adult this isn’t school and I treat people with respect, avoid drama and do my own thing.

I haven’t used the forums for long but have found them a good way to make connections and have some harmless banter, flirtation.

We should all be having fun here not making anyone feel left out, room for all of us

Xx"

This nails it for me, took the words right out of my mouth

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

Whilst I agree totally Saffy - I do think there are instances where some groups of friendships can dominate to the detriment of others - you see it often where one will post a LAM thread and the rest of the group pile in and anyone else is left standing in the shadows, or on some of the more contentious threads where they pile in with pitchforks and blazing torches because they took offence to something said, and often ignite the situation far more than it originally had been by doing so.

Now I "get" that is the nature of friendship to an extent and where I see it happen I tend to ignore it personally but can also understand why a newcomer or forum irregular (as in they don't visit much) might find it exclusive rather than inclusive.

Personally I have friends here, but don't feel the need to pounce on their every word and respond to it.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Just express yourself...be flattered or annoyed depending on what response you get .. it's not compulsory to reply ...but it's nice to get a little chortle of appreciation from time to time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s a board. You write words. Do you care if you get a response? I use the forums because “apparently” talking to yourself is frowned upon

Talking to yourself is a necessity, I do it because sometimes I need expert advice

"
mhie many expert do you have in your head?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Yes they are

Are you new here ?

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Yes they are

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 20/07/21 13:09:26]

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

My advice for what it's worth

Just skip by Little Bo Peep and the sheep

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know but felt like I couldn’t then ask like it was a thread not for me.

So, how inclusive are the forums, should those that use them be more open and accepting to those new to using them, or, should I stop caring, and accept that it’s much like a school playground here at times?"

Feel for you a bit but sometimes you need to help yourself before posting in a forum...

Try searching old posts for answers in search bar just as you come on the forum home page so just search picture toilet .

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By *tephTV67TV/TS over a year ago

Cheshire

It can happen a few people who know each other, end up taking up a thread with their insider jokes. But you’ll also occasionally get involved having a laugh or two with someone out of the blue.

Last weekend I was mentioning traffic wardens on one thread and as I was commented on a different thread, someone mentioned it. So people do see what you’ve written, just may not have anything extra to add at the time.

Yes some cliques are on here and popular posters naturally get attention more than others. However I like to go with the flow, there’s some on here I genuinely like and others I go Meh !

with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s a bit like life, it’s not perfect.

After the question is what you make of it, dwell on the negative or squeeze your lemons into a refreshing beverage.

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

We're all supposed to hate each other. Tis the rules

Honestly my mind bloody boggles!!! If friendship is a negative we are all doomed!!!

Personally I have friends here, but don't feel the need to pounce on their every word and respond to it."

That’s true.. suppose that’s people taking offence on behalf of another. Natural but unnecessary. It’s the fine line between agreeing/disagreeing and ganging up. As ever things are hard to read on a forum that would be much clearer in the flesh .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know, but felt like I couldn’t then ask, like it was a thread not for me.

There are running threads that may seem cliquey - I’m not interested in those sort of games (probably not the right generation) but often join in on other threads. If you want to join in anything and don’t understand then just ask the OP.

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I have to admit when I first came on the forums I did feel a bit of an outsider as there's some strong friendship groups, but I got stuck in and chatted on lots of threads and go involved and don't feel like that anymore at all x

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By *ememberTheNameMan over a year ago

barnsley

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know, but felt like I couldn’t then ask, like it was a thread not for me.

Do bears shit in the woods of corse there’s little groups here n there

Jump in or jump out

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By *ememberTheNameMan over a year ago

barnsley

"I have to admit when I first came on the forums I did feel a bit of an outsider as there's some strong friendship groups, but I got stuck in and chatted on lots of threads and go involved and don't feel like that anymore at all x"

Oooo friends

Be my forum friend

Hope you’re well tinder must lovely

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

[Removed by poster at 20/07/21 13:35:52]

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Oooo friends

Be my forum friend

Hope you’re well tinder must lovely

You've left the country so forums it is

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

"Some just get on more with others

Its fine xxx

True but when they derail a thread and make it all about the "flock" (I like that instead of clique)

Its a bit off putting."

Flock is good. Fluffy.

How about murder?

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"Some just get on more with others

Its fine xxx

True but when they derail a thread and make it all about the "flock" (I like that instead of clique)

Its a bit off putting.

Flock is good. Fluffy.

How about murder? "

I only get the piss taken out of me when I say that, being Scottish

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m fairly new on here and it does feel like you’re an outsider at first. But just jump in there’s plenty of really nice people on here, you’ll soon learn who are friendly and nice and the ones who aren’t. And to be fair there’s not many that aren’t!

The forums a fun escape. I’d say just be yourself, polite and fun and you’ll be ok OP

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Definitely a fine line but quite often a fairly distinguishable one - and I often wonder if some of those that fit the description would be the same in the flesh, I suspect not in a lot of cases to be honest.

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

I just talk shite to everyone

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By *LiamMan over a year ago

Midlands

"I just talk shite to everyone

"
facts.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Sometimes you have to sail your ship alone OP, just post what you like when you like (within forum rules) and take it all with a pinch of salt.

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By * Lexi xWoman over a year ago

stockport

"There’s lots of genuine friendships here so not surprising many banter with each other. I’ve not been back long and have picked up some lovely new friends

it’s just like a CLUB. Have a mooch round and get involved. "

And you said you’ve never been to one?

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By * Lexi xWoman over a year ago

stockport

"My advice for what it's worth

Just skip by Little Bo Peep and the sheep

Who’s little Bo Peep and the Sheep?

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

They can be, they also can be quite closed to new members. It depends on the people and their feelings at the time.

In short; we’re all human and are sometimes gregarious, other times insular, the forums echo that.

Try not to read too much into things and just post

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By *rowser79Man over a year ago

Cork

New to this site and the forums but look at it just like any other forums. There’s people here that know each other for a while, people who don’t. People’s whose posts are popular and those whose posts get passed over et

There’s generally 20,000+ people online here at any given time so nothing I post on a forum is gonna capture the attention of everyone. Whether people respond to me or not is their choice.

I read threads that grab my attention and if I’ve something to say I’ll post.

Simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op, you are always welcome to sit with me in the rejects corner (I always have snacks and drinks)

No matter what you do somedays,how many times you make an effort to join in

you will be ignored, its just how the threads usually end up finishing most days and by the same people.

Just don't worry about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I saw a thread earlier called Friend Pic Roulette, I’d never heard of it, I was intrigued so I took a look. The opening message read:

‘If you know you know.’

I didn’t know, but felt like I couldn’t then ask, like it was a thread not for me.

I'd say you've made connections. If I see your name I know it means humour - confidence and contribution ....... not really interested in your boobs... sos "

Haha why thank you very much

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By *ancer36Woman over a year ago

Stirling

"My advice for what it's worth

Just skip by Little Bo Peep and the sheep

Who’s little Bo Peep and the Sheep? "

She must be part of the elusive clique too

that well hidden no one knows her

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Talk of cliques and the like just increases the bad feeling, bitchiness and divides. Older or more established members should stop going on about it and creating more issues and maybe it wouldn't be as bad. Rather than "warning" people, just be more positive and greet them with a smile and friendly chat.

The forum is as inclusive or exclusive as people make it, because that's what groups of humans are like. It can be hard for new/returning/shy members to get involved but we have all been there and had to find our way in somehow.

If you feel excluded in a thread, head to another. There are people who respond to everyone and try their best to make everyone feel they have a voice. Look for those threads.

And if you have questions.... do a forum search on the subject, or ask. And ignore the sarcastic replies. We all get them sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP just relax take a deep breath and focus on the good things, obviously regulars here will have friendships some have been here since this fab world was created

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Yes, they're cliquey and there's shit loads of back-stabbing, but they're also Fun.

I try to concentrate on myself spread the love and laughter. "

We can be accountable for ourselves..I don't stress about any of that shit...I don't even notice it.

Chunky I Love it when you spread the love

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Only*

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I just talk shite to everyone

facts. "

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