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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago
Bradford |
Paddy and Mick decide to go camping in the Everglades in Florida.
After arriving at night, they pitch their tent and go to sleep.
The next day Mick wakes up, and unzips the tent to have a look outside. He sees an alligator sitting under a tree with a human head and arms in its mouth.
Mick turns back to Paddy and says, 'Would you look at that flash bastard in his Lacoste sleeping bag!' |
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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago
Bradford |
I was in a pub the other day and drank a few too many beers, when I got the feeling that I was going to be sick. I ran to the bathroom only to discover that the only cubicle was occupied.
My only options were the urinal or the sink, so I chose the sink.
Vomit shot out of my mouth and my nose. I was coughing up beer, kebabs and fuck knows what else.
Tears were running down my face as I gripped the sides of the filthy sink and spluttered up a disgusting mouthful of smokers lung butter.
The guy in the cubicle chose that time to come out. Doing up his belt, he looked at the remnants of a six hour drinking session caked all over the sink and the floor, and said, "I was going to wash my hands in there, but looks like I won't be!"
.I looked up at him, my bloodshot eyes as red as the blood stained vomit slowly dribbling down my chin and all over my shirt, and said,
"You're not going to wash your hands?
Dirty bastard." |
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