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Is it just me or
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Are the first messages people send on here really lacking?
The simple hi, and dick pic, asking for pics or boring old messages barely catch my eye, and they then wonder why they never get replies? Get snippy when you leave them on read.... |
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By *r_MrsOCouple
over a year ago
Leigh |
"Are the first messages people send on here really lacking?
The simple hi, and dick pic, asking for pics or boring old messages barely catch my eye, and they then wonder why they never get replies? Get snippy when you leave them on read...."
Boring or disrespectful! Recently had 'will you pimp your wife out, for a cost'.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are the first messages people send on here really lacking?
The simple hi, and dick pic, asking for pics or boring old messages barely catch my eye, and they then wonder why they never get replies? Get snippy when you leave them on read...."
What would an ideal first message say? I never know how to start off messaging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are the first messages people send on here really lacking?
The simple hi, and dick pic, asking for pics or boring old messages barely catch my eye, and they then wonder why they never get replies? Get snippy when you leave them on read....
What would an ideal first message say? I never know how to start off messaging"
Something like 'Are those your real tits?' |
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There is also the opposite, I have constructed reasonable well thought out messages (in my view of course), picking things from their profile to refer to and being polite etc, sending a face picture so they can see straight away what I look like…
And the reply I get is “Hi x”
WTF am i supposed to with that? If I am honest, I usually ignore it and forget that I am messaged them… what are they like sexually if that’s considered effort as a response  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong. "
I definitely agree with this.
I don't want or need someone to spend ages crafting a "perfect" message, because if they aren't for me then they aren't for me.
I'd prefer a "hi, how are you".... works in a pub so why not on fab? As long as I can at least see the majority of the person messaging (torso, abdomen, legs, bum, arms, even face). And I'd love a face on the first message, but I get why people don't send them. So I appreciate them more when they do.
Women are constantly telling men to treat a first message like going up to a woman in a bar and to not whap their cock out straight away. So women should appreciate that in a bar they'd either get a greeting or a chat up line.
I'm not excusing the WUU2, suck on this, Meet now? messages though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong. "
Thanks for that and I agree. I think most people will decide to reply or chat based on photos and profile, and you’ll only find out in further messages if that person is interesting or attractive to you. Nothing wrong at all with a simple, polite introduction.  |
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I must admit, I personally try to make it interesting.. But in this day, its becoming harder and harder to stand out. Sometimes the profile you've read doesn't really give you much to go on, other than dos and Dont's or not looking for and what looking for, but nothing really to converse on.
Then you have the 'new to this will fill more in as we go' or even the long profile of I we/I am interested in *insert long list*, but if you don't fall into any of these still message, you never know'.
It's frustrating cause in those instances, you message using what information you can, give a brief introduction to yourself, and show your interest in said person/people.. And then nothing.
I get people have preferences and have a right not to respond etc.. Just saying it's frustrating, at least from my perspective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is also the opposite, I have constructed reasonable well thought out messages (in my view of course), picking things from their profile to refer to and being polite etc, sending a face picture so they can see straight away what I look like… i have done that..really well thought out polite etc..and you get....yep...
And the reply I get is “Hi x”
WTF am i supposed to with that? If I am honest, I usually ignore it and forget that I am messaged them… what are they like sexually if that’s considered effort as a response "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or someone sends you a message you go to have a look at the profile and its hidden...Wtf is that all about? "
Iv never understood that.
If I hide it means I'm absolutely not looking to meet. |
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I think most men are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. I usually just ask if a lady would like to chat so that we may start getting to know each other. Occasionally I will get a no thanks reply, which is fair enough. You you cannot be everyone’s cup of tea. Sadly more often then not, missives are cast into the abyss of the ghost message. Never to be read or even opened up. But I guess you just have to keep trying and don’t lose the faith. |
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"Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong. "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the flip side of this just to play Devils advocate, it is quite hard when there isn't much info on the profile, just a few 'don'ts' like you're already getting told off.
Then again, if there is something about the person I guess you would know what to say right? Or is that just me being romantic/naive?
Life is complicated! Better get another coffee..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people are generally and naturally awkward making first contact, do they revert to "a type" which suits the site ....failing that, don't bother in the first place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are the first messages people send on here really lacking?
The simple hi, and dick pic, asking for pics or boring old messages barely catch my eye, and they then wonder why they never get replies? Get snippy when you leave them on read....
Boring or disrespectful! Recently had 'will you pimp your wife out, for a cost'. "
Rude he could have said Starbucks… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong. "
I agree with this ^^ Hi has worked for me (exactly the same as in real life) when coupled with a nice profile!
I actually find the 'well-thought-out-quote-the-profile etc' templates the least thought out and most boring to be honest ...
Just try being yourself, respectful and well mannered ...
BUT what works for one person won't work for another so perhaps if guys just except that there are few ladies, receiving a lot more messages, then maybe everyone would just chill more ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong.
Well said"
I completely disagree with this because when I had my filters open I would probably get about 20 Hi how are you use in A-day.
I'm not going to apply to the vast majority of fires because it gets boring.
I would reply to somebody that have made it clear they had read my profile and tailored their message to me rather than a generic message and I dont think thats jumping through hoops.
If you cant be bothered to make an effort then I cant be bothered to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong.
Well said
I completely disagree with this because when I had my filters open I would probably get about 20 Hi how are you use in A-day.
I'm not going to apply to the vast majority of fires because it gets boring.
I would reply to somebody that have made it clear they had read my profile and tailored their message to me rather than a generic message and I dont think thats jumping through hoops.
If you cant be bothered to make an effort then I cant be bothered to reply. "
That's absolutely your choice and good luck with if it works for you. I'm simply stating how I personally view it. Some men on here are dicks with the crude messages they send and some women behave as though men are beneath them, neither of which is acceptable.
Can see how streams of messages can be a pain but as you've rightly indicated, filters are there to help prevent that. So I'm happy for you to disagree as I'm not speaking for anyone but myself though I still think there's a lot of expectation from some women that men have to jump through hoops.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love humour, I also love seeing a face.
Send me a pic of your face followed by a really good joke and chances are, I'll reply. Even if I'm not visually attracted to you, I appreciate a good sense of humour! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly wonder what's expected.
There's not really much wrong with an initial hi how are you as an opener, granted, if further communication is just a few words that's different but to expect someone to be all encompassing in an initial opener is a tad over the top in my view but... We're all different, I just sometimes feel men are expected to jump through hoops and be on their knees in gratitude cause they get a reply. That's wrong.
I agree with this ^^ Hi has worked for me (exactly the same as in real life) when coupled with a nice profile!
I actually find the 'well-thought-out-quote-the-profile etc' templates the least thought out and most boring to be honest ...
Just try being yourself, respectful and well mannered ...
BUT what works for one person won't work for another so perhaps if guys just except that there are few ladies, receiving a lot more messages, then maybe everyone would just chill more ... "
I'm with you on this, too long and detailed a message kinda feels copy and pastish to me only changing little bits trying to personalise.
A 'hiya, like your profile do you fancy chatting' is enough. If their profile interests me, we chat... Then get into more detail but I get some like a full service history kinda first message and that's all good too |
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Im not looking for war and peace, just something to catch the eye. It can be a comment on a forum post, a joke, a question or comment about my profile.
I have lost count of the rude messages I have had today from me not replying to a message and it remknds me why I take breaks regularly from this site. Messaging from new account with little to no info or pics. Or a hidden account...
Or the "I've sent you a friend request" 2 messages in when I have a tonne of friends only photos and videos and they have 1 total on their account. Note to all who do this, porn is free and theres no need for chat... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends who you're getting them from.
From what I gather, there are a lot of people on fab who seem to think that sending a message is akin to starting a conversation rather than writing a letter - and it's not restricted to single men either. I've had such messages from both women and couples.
I know, shocking isn't it. A single man RECEIVING messages.
I always think of a private message or even an e-mail, come to think of it, as just an electronic form of a letter.
You put in it what it is you want to say.
Can you just imagine back in the days of the first world war if a young soldier wrote home to his sweetheart and simply put 'Hi'  |
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really escalates the vibe doesn't it 
