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What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?
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I'm dyspraxic so most of my injuries are from something dumb!
My top one is I was sat on the end of the bed brushing my hair felt something on my foot which I thought was hair looked down and it was a massive hairy spider so I stamped hard on my own foot and broke one of the metatarsal bones
A close second is during sex I rolled over on top of the man I was with but overbalanced and fell of the bed spraining my wrist.
At work I tend to walk into things, trip over things and trap fingers in gates - I'm always covered in bruises  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went to learn over a stair gate it fell off the wall and I landed on it, ended up fracturing my shoulder blade 
And when I was a kid wearing heelys slipped and my tailbone hit the curb at full force...fair to say I couldn't sit down for weeks after that 
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having dislocated my shoulder the week before (same horse) said to myself "don't hold onto the horse with that hand". What did I do? Oh well, the Oramorph was nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Splitting frozen burgers with a knife. Was in a rush and for some stupid reason used a plate to hit the knife to split the stack. Smashed the plate and cut my hand.
Crashed my motorbike. Riding like a bellend through a village after just fixing my bike. Came round a blind corner with a decline. Bit like the corkscrew at Laguna Seca. Didnt realise there was a school there and it was leaving time. Car at a standstill in the middle of the road. Slammed on the front brake in a panic. The bike did a somersault over the front wheel sending me about 8 ft into the air landing on my head and shoulder. The bike did a full flip and landed back on its wheels then rolled down the road into a car. Broken tooth, rotator cuff injury to my shoulder and a haematoma on my knee. Still have nerve damage in my knee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Carrying a stack of flatbed diecutters, blades down, then putting them down with left middle finger under the blades.
Excellent blood spray, we had to replace several office carpet squares afterward  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've a loads, mostly involving knives.
Nearly slit my wrist opening oysters when I worked on the fish counter.
One night on the way back from the pub I offered to cook a curry, instead of going out for one. We only had frozen chicken so to defrost it quicker I started dicing it with a meat cleaver and cleaved the end of my finger off. Fortunately they were able to sew it back on.
When we were fitting out our first gym. I was there alone late one evening laying the mats and had to trim some with a Stanley knife. I'd just told myself to cut away from my hands, ignored the advice, the knife slipped and went through the soft part between my thumb and hand. |
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At school after watching the film alien the night before, i thought it would be fun to copy what bishop did with the knife where he stabs it between his fingers really fast,but i used a freshly sharpened wood chisel in a woodworking lesson. Upon the first strike i plunged it straight through the side of my finger  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a kid running down the street back hone from my grans house. Ran into a lamppost and knocked out a tooth, Swallowed it and told my dad who said no tooth no 50p |
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I once set fire to my trousers when using an angle grinder
Numerous times I've burnt my legs when getting off of my scooter and standing too close to the hot exhaust pipe while taking my gloves and helmet off
Broke my nose on the freezer 
So many more...I'm a walking calamity |
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"I once set fire to my trousers when using an angle grinder
Numerous times I've burnt my legs when getting off of my scooter and standing too close to the hot exhaust pipe while taking my gloves and helmet off
Broke my nose on the freezer
So many more...I'm a walking calamity "
Been there..... set fire to myself twice while using a grinder. Jumper once and trousers once |
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"Had a van that was reversing knock me over.
C’mon….people look out for oncoming traffic, not ones that are backing up, right? "
You’re the reason they now shout the warning “This vehicle is reversing” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a kid I made a grapple hook to climb trees. Of course it all went wrong. The hook slipped, I fell and smashed my elbow on an old rock fracturing it and blood running heavily down my arm and dripping off my fingertips. Still got the scar. Don't care. |
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D*unkenly picked a prickly pear in Tunisia, and then realised why it was called a prickly pear.
Got a hand full of prickles which I then even more stupidly rubbed on my thigh so then had a thigh full of prickles as well.
Not my finest hour. |
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By *imbo59seMan
over a year ago
North Norfolk area |
Running for a catch playing cricket, ran into the sightscreen, bloody trail down the sightsceen....broken nose!
Took a catch off of my own bowling, team mate went for same catch, smashed his nose on my shoulder (not me I know, but similar thing).
Cut some French bread, in my hand, with a new bread knife.....yep, straight through bread, and palm of hand! |
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To this day I'm still not sure how the hell I managed this but...I'd been in a deep sleep and woke up and poked myself in my eye with 3 fingers... scratched my cornea and had to get an antibiotic eye cream  |
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"To this day I'm still not sure how the hell I managed this but...I'd been in a deep sleep and woke up and poked myself in my eye with 3 fingers... scratched my cornea and had to get an antibiotic eye cream "
Don’t go sleeping near any knives!!! |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Nose broken by a baseball bat when I was in the dug out at school and it slipped out of the batters hand. I was new to the US and the game and trying to understand the rules and didn't stay behind the netting lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I bought a new flexible snap on ratchet for work.
First time out undoing really tight bolt under car it slipped off and punched myself in face,broken nose two black eyes and split eyebrow.
Then did same again but not as bad, nose was still sore from first Time.
Then it slipped off while pushing and ended up punching a gearbox and dislocated my thumb.
Spent next 15 mins smashing the living shit out of it and didnt even make a mark on it.
Traded it back in for a normal ratchet.
Many more but that ratchet still haunts me
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fainted coming out of a sauna into a cold shower and cracked my head on the tile floor. Spark out for a few minutes, but I don't know why it gave me a sore arse?.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got thrown from a bridge. Broke my ribs.
Bloody hell, how’d that happen??"
Paintballing. Guy got way too into it. I was in his way so he picked me up and threw me off the bridge (it wasn't high off the ground tbf) but when I landed I broke 2 ribs. He was more annoyed they stopped the game I think, but I like to imagine he was a little bit sorry! |
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Well how about, jumped off back of old london style buses while it was still going, managed to hit the bus stop pole and fractured my skull, did it police car right behind bus and in front of parents house.
Was like something out of cartoon hit post and slid down it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got thrown from a bridge. Broke my ribs.
Bloody hell, how’d that happen??
Paintballing. Guy got way too into it. I was in his way so he picked me up and threw me off the bridge (it wasn't high off the ground tbf) but when I landed I broke 2 ribs. He was more annoyed they stopped the game I think, but I like to imagine he was a little bit sorry!"
Wow - hope he was sorry!
I broke the head of my left humerous like a Terry’s chocolate orange. I was out running through woodland and tripped on a tree root and went down so hard and fast I didn’t have time to put my hands out to arrest my fall.
Was a long walk back to the car and by the time I got there and decided to call an ambulance I was cold, shivering and clammy with shock setting in |
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Don't think I have yet tbh ( guaranteed I will now ) .
I may know someone who attempted the mundane task of sitting on the loo and somehow missed entirely and injured themselves in the process ... No idea who that was though   |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Don't think I have yet tbh ( guaranteed I will now ) .
I may know someone who attempted the mundane task of sitting on the loo and somehow missed entirely and injured themselves in the process ... No idea who that was though "
Must have been a total idiot |
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I was carrying Christmas presents down the stairs so couldn't see anything, missed last step and badly sprained my ankle. LVM makes fun of me to this day saying that I just wanted to get out of cooking Christmas dinner
K |
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"Don't think I have yet tbh ( guaranteed I will now ) .
I may know someone who attempted the mundane task of sitting on the loo and somehow missed entirely and injured themselves in the process ... No idea who that was though
Must have been a total idiot "
Haha  |
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Someone drilled through my thumb in school
I broke my collar bone at rugby practice, not even a game.
I almost nicked my femoral artery with a grinder when i put it down too early.
And the best of the best. I broke my thumb in 3 places while hammering out 2 connected poles that had got stuck together. When asked how I broke it in 3 places, i said, well the job wasnt done like it was a normal response. Must have hit myself over 50 times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once set fire to my trousers when using an angle grinder
Numerous times I've burnt my legs when getting off of my scooter and standing too close to the hot exhaust pipe while taking my gloves and helmet off
Broke my nose on the freezer
So many more...I'm a walking calamity "
Yeah done the burnt leg thing.
I took a chunk out of my leg trying to kick start my KTM 640 in trainers and no MX boots |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone drilled through my thumb in school
I broke my collar bone at rugby practice, not even a game.
I almost nicked my femoral artery with a grinder when i put it down too early.
And the best of the best. I broke my thumb in 3 places while hammering out 2 connected poles that had got stuck together. When asked how I broke it in 3 places, i said, well the job wasnt done like it was a normal response. Must have hit myself over 50 times "
I know my friend threw a pencil at somone and it stuck in there head
My friend group was a nightmare when we where teenagers. We drove around the village letting off pigeon bangers late at night. Friend held one too long and it blew up in his hand.
We had cars, mopeds and dirtbikes and stuff we used to drive round a farm aswell. We used to play cat and mouse with people in the car chasing people on the bikes and stuff and hitting them with sticks out the window as a way of being "tagged" I was on the moped with somone chasing me in the car and they hit me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not me but my dad.
We had friends of my parents coming to stay over after we moved when I was around 11. Dad wanted everything cleaned and polished and asked us to clean the stairs. My younger brother polished the wooden stairs. Later that day my dad went flying down the stairs after coming down in socks |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
As a child I was playing who could jump furthest off a low brick wall backwards.
My friend's brother decided to push a rotary lawnmower behind me just before I jumped.
I fell, my arm hit the blades and fractured in 2 places.
So, I broke my arm jumping off a wall 18 inches high. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was walking along the street and got erm... distracted by someone on the opposite side and walked into a post. Nothing too bad except a cut eyebrow and an overwhelming desire for the ground to swallow me whole |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I once tripped over a carpet thread after coming back downstairs from a trip to the loo. I superman flew through the air and landed in a crumpled, awkward heap, screaming, in the middle of my lounge.
My then boyfriend, bemused, thought I was over egging the pain I was in, but it turns out I’d broken my ankle.
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Gardening, well sort of.
I was helping my granddad in the allotment. I saw him through his fork into the ground, so I tried and put it through my foot. Luckily it missed the bones in my foot, as it went in between them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was walking along the street and got erm... distracted by someone on the opposite side and walked into a post. Nothing too bad except a cut eyebrow and an overwhelming desire for the ground to swallow me whole "
I nearly did the same when I first started riding bikes. Nearly smashed into a bus stop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a spate of garage burglaries in the village, so while I was walkway I decided to set of booby traps in the garage (a couple of rakes on the floor and the power for the light turned off. Came back off holiday, went to get the bike out of the garage, stood on rake and nearly knocked myself out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couple of minor accidents I’ve had
Clamped my thumb in a welding machine
Drilled my stomach
Sliced my knuckle open on a circular saw
Nicked the vein in my wrist with a chisel
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"Had a van that was reversing knock me over.
C’mon….people look out for oncoming traffic, not ones that are backing up, right?
You’re the reason they now shout the warning “This vehicle is reversing” "
I'll be killed by an electric car as they are silent but they do beep when reversing! |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Can't remember why but one evening I decided to cut a hole in a piece of wood using a hole cutter fitted to a drill; I was in my dressing gown and slippers at the time. I held the wood in place using my foot. The drill slipped and the cutter cut into my ankle, deep enough to see the bone... |
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"Tripped over the cat....
Pulled my groin yesterday morning trying to avoid my two little fur fuckers "
When I was 14 I tripped over our little ginger t*at at the top of the stairs and fell all the way to the bottom and the arsehole actually had the audacity to walk over me crumpled at the bottom of the staircase! |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
I broke my collarbone badly spinning round with a Dutch man on the beach in Tenerife. First night of our hols. Spent a week in the hospital and had to sneak out in the middle of the night in a wheelchair because my boyfriend at the time hadn't paid the extra for insurance!! I was off my head on m*rphine and hadn't a clue what was going on. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
Two accidents I recall.
In a School end of term Amateur Drama show, I'd to lead a donkey diagonally across the stage to near the front edge. As the show was set in Roman times, I couldn't wear spectacles (without which, I was blind as a bat), so a stage hand stood in the wings with a brightly coloured board, which I'd aim for.
On the last night, pranksters in my fellow students, took over the coloured board, holding it much much nearer the edge. I didn't realise, and fell into the orchestra pit, with a braying panicking donkey having a hissy fit on stage!
The show was held up for 15 minutes, I was taken to local A&E with a dislocated shoulder.
No2 was in my earlier hotel career. Decided the blade on a meat slicer required cleaning. I switched off the power, but whilst cleaning it, my hand slipped and I sliced off the tip of my little finger of my left hand which to today, has little sensation in it. |
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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
"Mark: jumped over a 3ft wall which turned out to be 10ft on the other side.
Nicky: tested iron temperature on my leg.
Neither event worked out well!"
I can relate to jumping over a low wall, Was on an all night car rally in Derbyshire, was bursting for a pee, saw a layby, pulled in, jumped over the wall and fell about 10 ft, sprained my ankle. took me half an hour to find a way out of the field and get back to the car, it was 3 am and pitch black.
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Burnt the end of my knob leaning over a gas fire to turn it off, just finished having sex and was warm , living in a crappy rented bedsit with a colour gas freestanding heater ,cock fell out of dressing gown and onto the metal.
Nice blister on my helmet  |
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