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Where TF

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is my bread. I haven’t left the room, but I can’t find the yummy sourdough loaf I just put down

Any suggestions please?

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By *agicfingers1Man over a year ago

near Brighton

Have you eaten it lol

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By *urreyMassageGentlemanMan over a year ago

Ashford

What shape is this loaf of which you speak?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Have you eaten it lol"

No, I need ti. I’m hungry

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By *inAndTonic21Couple over a year ago

Merseyside

Put it in the cupboard where it lives but you wanted to eat it?! Hahah

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By *elethWoman over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Is it possible you have a wonderful household pet who may have taken advantage of the situation?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've sat on it thinking it was a cushion

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Put it in the cupboard where it lives but you wanted to eat it?! Hahah

Noo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/07/21 13:07:10]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is it possible you have a wonderful household pet who may have taken advantage of the situation?"

You know him

, but he’s actually asleep right now!

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak? "

She showed me. It's kinda long and wide with two spheres at one end.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

Which room are you in?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You've sat on it thinking it was a cushion"

Is it up my bum

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak? "

One of those co op sourdough fresh ones. It DEFINITELY won’t fit up there

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Which room are you in?"

The kitchen

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By *urreyMassageGentlemanMan over a year ago

Ashford

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak?

She showed me. It's kinda long and wide with two spheres at one end."

Then I think the answer may be obvious!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You've sat on it thinking it was a cushion

Is it up my bum

If it is, this would be the first time I've been jealous of bread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know who moved your cheese but not your bread, I’m afraid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You've sat on it thinking it was a cushion

Is it up my bum

If it is, this would be the first time I've been jealous of bread

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

You've put it in the fridge whilst distracted

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I know who moved your cheese but not your bread, I’m afraid."

Who moved my cheese

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak?

She showed me. It's kinda long and wide with two spheres at one end.

Then I think the answer may be obvious!

I wonder if she will let me check.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know who moved your cheese but not your bread, I’m afraid.

Who moved my cheese

It was either Sniff, Scurry, Hem or Haw. Definitely one of them.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It grew lega got a taxi went airport stole some duty free perfume and now sells burgers in San Francisco

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"It grew lega got a taxi went airport stole some duty free perfume and now sells burgers in San Francisco "

Legs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From what I've heard,lost things are usually found in the fridge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know who moved your cheese but not your bread, I’m afraid.

Who moved my cheese

Are you sure you're in your kitchen and not someone else's?

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"It grew lega got a taxi went airport stole some duty free perfume and now sells burgers in San Francisco

Legs "

The bread not me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak?

She showed me. It's kinda long and wide with two spheres at one end.

Then I think the answer may be obvious!

I wonder if she will let me check.....

You just want to steal my chocolate don’t you

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak?

She showed me. It's kinda long and wide with two spheres at one end.

Then I think the answer may be obvious!

I wonder if she will let me check.....

You just want to steal my chocolate don’t you "

It's called SHARING!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You've put it in the fridge whilst distracted "

You beauty

I’m sure I already checked in there as well

I might make it though the afternoon now, thanks to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"From what I've heard,lost things are usually found in the fridge.

It was

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak?

She showed me. It's kinda long and wide with two spheres at one end.

Then I think the answer may be obvious!

I wonder if she will let me check.....

You just want to steal my chocolate don’t you

It's called SHARING!!

Only because it’s you

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"What shape is this loaf of which you speak?

She showed me. It's kinda long and wide with two spheres at one end.

Then I think the answer may be obvious!

I wonder if she will let me check.....

You just want to steal my chocolate don’t you

It's called SHARING!!

Only because it’s you

Too good to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Um, you know the baggy saggy foof thread from last night?

Are you trying to quantify the size??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From what I've heard,lost things are usually found in the fridge.

It was

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Um, you know the baggy saggy foof thread from last night?

Are you trying to quantify the size??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Um, you know the baggy saggy foof thread from last night?

Are you trying to quantify the size??

I tried, but I couldn’t get it past the kitchen sink that’s already up there

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Um, you know the baggy saggy foof thread from last night?

Are you trying to quantify the size??

Coffee just came out of my nose.....

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Um, you know the baggy saggy foof thread from last night?

Are you trying to quantify the size??

Coffee just came out of my nose.....

S'ok I spat my irn bru as well rifl

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I bet you put it in the fridge, next to the chocolate.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS over a year ago

Derby

You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Um, you know the baggy saggy foof thread from last night?

Are you trying to quantify the size??

Coffee just came out of my nose.....

S'ok I spat my irn bru as well rifl"

We are so classy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

Ooh, it’d be a bit scratchy though, it’s a multi grain seeded thingy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Um, you know the baggy saggy foof thread from last night?

Are you trying to quantify the size??

Coffee just came out of my nose.....

S'ok I spat my irn bru as well rifl

We are so classy!"

You are #lifegoals #classywenchesinnit

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

Ooh, it’d be a bit scratchy though, it’s a multi grain seeded thingy

#dotted for extra pleasure#

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By * Sophie xTV/TS over a year ago

Derby

"You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

Ooh, it’d be a bit scratchy though, it’s a multi grain seeded thingy

You've not watched enough porn if you think this.....#cactusfanny

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

Ooh, it’d be a bit scratchy though, it’s a multi grain seeded thingy

#dotted for extra pleasure#

#seedspeedoutfordays

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is always in the fridge or freezer

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

Ooh, it’d be a bit scratchy though, it’s a multi grain seeded thingy

You've not watched enough porn if you think this.....#cactusfanny

Funnily enough, cactus fanny has never been one of my porn searches

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It is always in the fridge or freezer"

It was

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

Ooh, it’d be a bit scratchy though, it’s a multi grain seeded thingy

#dotted for extra pleasure#

#seedspeedoutfordays"

Wtf? You're not meant to be sticking it in the pee hole!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

watch you don't get a yeast infection

don't know how this joke works but fuck it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"watch you don't get a yeast infection

don't know how this joke works but fuck it

, it does work

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You took the saying 'everything is a dildo if you're brave enough' far too literally Angel

Ooh, it’d be a bit scratchy though, it’s a multi grain seeded thingy

#dotted for extra pleasure#

#seedspeedoutfordays

Wtf? You're not meant to be sticking it in the pee hole!"

Ohh

. Is that where I’ve been going wrong?

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sasquatch?

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By *ightmovesTV/TS over a year ago

Ipswich

In the quantum world something isn't there till you look at it. Or its in the fridge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is my bread. I haven’t left the room, but I can’t find the yummy sourdough loaf I just put down

Any suggestions please? "

The lobsters have ran off with it and snaffled it down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism "

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is my bread. I haven’t left the room, but I can’t find the yummy sourdough loaf I just put down

Any suggestions please?

The lobsters have ran off with it and snaffled it down."

Well that’s your bloody fault. You should have make your knob cheese Thermidor and eaten them by now

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away"

From my slow cooker

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

I would hypothesise that your kitchen is somehow connected to all kitchens (similar to L-Space theory), therefore I will check my bread bin

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

Well yeah. What do you think I was getting at?

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism"

You're a bad influence

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence"

Like you need any encouraging

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence"

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Like you need any encouraging

I'm a bloody

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple over a year ago

Bloxham

In boot of car

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)"

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?"

*nods

True story

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

I bet he’s ate your bread

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

*nods

True story

Do not believe her, I am sweet and innocent

. She’s a very naughty girl

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

I bet he’s ate your bread

Leggy little bastard

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By *indergirlWoman over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Like you need any encouraging

I'm a bloody

*Cough* bullshit *cough*

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Like you need any encouraging

I'm a bloody

*Cough* bullshit *cough*

Me and you really need some cough medicine.

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

*nods

True story

Do not believe her, I am sweet and innocent

. She’s a very naughty girl "

But I'm so good

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Like you need any encouraging

I'm a bloody

*Cough* bullshit *cough*

Me and you really need some cough medicine. "

I have something to soothe both of your throats.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

*nods

True story

Do not believe her, I am sweet and innocent

. She’s a very naughty girl

But I'm so good

At being bad?

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

*nods

True story

Do not believe her, I am sweet and innocent

. She’s a very naughty girl

But I'm so good

At being bad?"

At being REALLY REALLY good (at being bad)

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Has the bread turned up yet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Like you need any encouraging

I'm a bloody

*Cough* bullshit *cough*

Me and you really need some cough medicine. "

You both have completely the wrong impression of me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

*nods

True story

Do not believe her, I am sweet and innocent

. She’s a very naughty girl

But I'm so good

At being bad?

At being REALLY REALLY good (at being bad)"

So basically you're both trouble right?

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Has the bread turned up yet?

She either found it in the fridge, her foof or urethra. It's not quite certain at this point.....

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

*nods

True story

Do not believe her, I am sweet and innocent

. She’s a very naughty girl

But I'm so good

At being bad?

At being REALLY REALLY good (at being bad)

So basically you're both trouble right?"

Yes sir. We are. The best kind

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Has the bread turned up yet?

Princess peach saved me, and if she hadn’t, sensual would have.

Some dickhead put it in the fridge (me)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Like you need any encouraging

I'm a bloody

*Cough* bullshit *cough*

Me and you really need some cough medicine.

You both have completely the wrong impression of me

So don’t

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Nah. I'm the sweet n innocent one.

(Which is worrying for her)

Christ on a bike! Is this true?

*nods

True story

Do not believe her, I am sweet and innocent

. She’s a very naughty girl

But I'm so good

At being bad?

At being REALLY REALLY good (at being bad)

So basically you're both trouble right?

Yes sir. We are. The best kind

Well there's a party in my pants and i have three invites

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep my bread in the slow cooker check there

I’m pretty sure a spider has taken up residence in my slow cooker

#euphemism

Sounds like the cobwebs need blowing away

From my slow cooker

#anothereuphemism

You're a bad influence

Like you need any encouraging

I'm a bloody

*Cough* bullshit *cough*

Me and you really need some cough medicine.

You both have completely the wrong impression of me

So don’t

Do do do!

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

"Has the bread turned up yet?

Princess peach saved me, and if she hadn’t, sensual would have.

Some dickhead put it in the fridge (me)"

Cool

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By *ightmovesTV/TS over a year ago

Ipswich

I keep my bread in my wallet man.

Its handier to get out when im buying stuff man.

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