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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shiiit! it's like a grenade has been thrown into your foxhole and you don't know which way to run! ...left, it might blow up that way ...right, it could blow up that way ...run over the top you're gonna get shot.
Only answer is to pick it up and throw it back before it blows!
Ask her, making light of the reputation of the word 'fine', if there's anything you can offer in support (if it's needed of course, she may just be in actual fact ~ 'fine'!) |
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"Help!!! Been speaking to this lass for few weeks slow build up however now she’s hit me with the dreaded I’m fine. How do you take that"
Just say, you’re not fine and give her a list of your ailments. At the end of your own rant, tell her you feel a lot better now and that she’s a great listener. 
Almost guaranteed a reaction  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I give that answer repeatedly as I’m asked soooooo many times every day “how are you?” and it’s monotonous. I answer to be polite but it’s a tedious question to be honest.
Maybe she’s just sick to the bath teeth of being asked “how are you?”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm presuming to mean you've had more than a few words in other messages but without context it's difficult to go on.
I am also presuming you've asked her how she is which, unless there is a good reason to ask her (ie she hasn't been 'fine'), after a few weeks of messaging you shouldn't need to do.
Either 'I'm fine' means she really is fine or she's getting a bit bored with messaging or she's not 'fine' but doesn't to elaborate or she was in a hurry but wanted to reply something or the messaging is gping to fizzle out ... or other reasons.
Message back with 'That's good.' and see what happens (use my advice at your own risk).
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Did you by any chance ask her if she's ok?
I have a friend who does that constantly my replies are quite varies and sometimes hostile.....
Lazy conversation .... Lazy
She's got 2 choices.
I'm okay thanks.
I'm not okay thanks.
Sometimes my response is ....... FFS ! Why ? Why do you keep asking if i'm okay .......
It's a lazy way in. It's not genuine concern. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry bit more context.
We have been chatting daily for number of weeks and lately she’s been having a tough time. I went away for a long weekend and messaged this morning to catch up, yes i asked how she was then got the dreaded I’m fine message nothing more nothing less |
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By *an4funMan
over a year ago
london |
"Sorry bit more context.
We have been chatting daily for number of weeks and lately she’s been having a tough time. I went away for a long weekend and messaged this morning to catch up, yes i asked how she was then got the dreaded I’m fine message nothing more nothing less "
Did you forget to bring back a stick of rock for her? |
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"Sorry bit more context.
We have been chatting daily for number of weeks and lately she’s been having a tough time. I went away for a long weekend and messaged this morning to catch up, yes i asked how she was then got the dreaded I’m fine message nothing more nothing less "
She’s not fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Did you by any chance ask her if she's ok?
I have a friend who does that constantly my replies are quite varies and sometimes hostile.....
Lazy conversation .... Lazy
She's got 2 choices.
I'm okay thanks.
I'm not okay thanks.
Sometimes my response is ....... FFS ! Why ? Why do you keep asking if i'm okay .......
It's a lazy way in. It's not genuine concern. "
yeah, but, ARE you OK?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry bit more context.
We have been chatting daily for number of weeks and lately she’s been having a tough time. I went away for a long weekend and messaged this morning to catch up, yes i asked how she was then got the dreaded I’m fine message nothing more nothing less "
If you can sense a problem with you both, maybe just ask her to be honest with you and let you know if you've done anything to upset her.
Maybe she's upset you didn't speak to her over the weekend if you usually speak every day? Or maybe it's just a case of she's bored of you and not interesting in chatting anymore.
I hope you get an answer!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help!!! Been speaking to this lass for few weeks slow build up however now she’s hit me with the dreaded I’m fine. How do you take that"
Ring her & don’t text - tone can be misinterpreted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help!!! Been speaking to this lass for few weeks slow build up however now she’s hit me with the dreaded I’m fine. How do you take that
Just say, you’re not fine and give her a list of your ailments. At the end of your own rant, tell her you feel a lot better now and that she’s a great listener.
Almost guaranteed a reaction "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help!!! Been speaking to this lass for few weeks slow build up however now she’s hit me with the dreaded I’m fine. How do you take that
Just say, you’re not fine and give her a list of your ailments. At the end of your own rant, tell her you feel a lot better now and that she’s a great listener.
Almost guaranteed a reaction
"
Bloody false nails…. Was meant to say |
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"Help!!! Been speaking to this lass for few weeks slow build up however now she’s hit me with the dreaded I’m fine. How do you take that
Just say, you’re not fine and give her a list of your ailments. At the end of your own rant, tell her you feel a lot better now and that she’s a great listener.
Almost guaranteed a reaction
Bloody false nails…. Was meant to say "
 tell me about it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry bit more context.
We have been chatting daily for number of weeks and lately she’s been having a tough time. I went away for a long weekend and messaged this morning to catch up, yes i asked how she was then got the dreaded I’m fine message nothing more nothing less
If you can sense a problem with you both, maybe just ask her to be honest with you and let you know if you've done anything to upset her.
Maybe she's upset you didn't speak to her over the weekend if you usually speak every day? Or maybe it's just a case of she's bored of you and not interesting in chatting anymore.
I hope you get an answer!
"
This.. Also, maybe her head is just full of everything going on and she just doesn't have the space / energy to respond |
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"Shiiit! it's like a grenade has been thrown into your foxhole and you don't know which way to run! ...left, it might blow up that way ...right, it could blow up that way ...run over the top you're gonna get shot.
Only answer is to pick it up and throw it back before it blows!
Ask her, making light of the reputation of the word 'fine', if there's anything you can offer in support (if it's needed of course, she may just be in actual fact ~ 'fine'!)"
This! |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I kind of dislike it when people say there’s nothing bothering them when something clearly is. Especially if they’re expecting you to pick up on the mixed signals and hold it against you.
Either express the issue and deal with it like adults or handle their own issues and leave others out of it.
Assuming others are psychic and can grasp mixed signals is more than a little bit toxic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe she meant to say 'send wine' and it came out as 'fine'
Maybe she said come and pin me down and do bad things Daddy. But he coughed and misheard ?"
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"Did you by any chance ask her if she's ok?
I have a friend who does that constantly my replies are quite varies and sometimes hostile.....
Lazy conversation .... Lazy
She's got 2 choices.
I'm okay thanks.
I'm not okay thanks.
Sometimes my response is ....... FFS ! Why ? Why do you keep asking if i'm okay .......
It's a lazy way in. It's not genuine concern.
yeah, but, ARE you OK? "
I'm fine  |
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"I kind of dislike it when people say there’s nothing bothering them when something clearly is. Especially if they’re expecting you to pick up on the mixed signals and hold it against you.
Either express the issue and deal with it like adults or handle their own issues and leave others out of it.
Assuming others are psychic and can grasp mixed signals is more than a little bit toxic"
|
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"I kind of dislike it when people say there’s nothing bothering them when something clearly is. Especially if they’re expecting you to pick up on the mixed signals and hold it against you.
Either express the issue and deal with it like adults or handle their own issues and leave others out of it.
Assuming others are psychic and can grasp mixed signals is more than a little bit toxic"
That's one way of looking at it.
Or maybe they've learnt it's safer to say "Fine" than dare voice an opinion and the consequences.
Anyone who's had the misfortune of dealing with an other half with rage issues or who is abusive in any way can probably relate to that.
Or maybe they are actually just fine? |
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"Sorry bit more context.
We have been chatting daily for number of weeks and lately she’s been having a tough time. I went away for a long weekend and messaged this morning to catch up, yes i asked how she was then got the dreaded I’m fine message nothing more nothing less "
Just tell her she knows where you are if you want to talk about anything |
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