FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > No sex drive - at all
No sex drive - at all
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hormones?
Life stress?
Maybe get an MOT at the quack?"
Maybe hormonal. My life is fairly stress free at the moment. Dr has run bloods and all are good  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Per menopause duck
Great stuff lol"
I think so too.
Looks like this feeling is here to stay.
It’s not a bad thing, luckily I’m single so I don’t have an other half pestering for sex  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stress.... hope you find yourself again soon... or...sub consciously you've had enough and want something else..."
I’m not stressed at all! For the first time in my life, I’m actually in a stress free zone!
I don’t mind that I have no sex drive, was just wondering if it’s common among women my age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stress.... hope you find yourself again soon... or...sub consciously you've had enough and want something else...
I’m not stressed at all! For the first time in my life, I’m actually in a stress free zone!
I don’t mind that I have no sex drive, was just wondering if it’s common among women my age "
I became rampant in my 40s...last gasp for my eggs maybe?
Do you use a vibrator? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
Peri menopause maybe... therefore hormones  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's all in the choice of language; the phsycology of the pressure to perform... don't call it sex, try calling it 'play', maybe that'll help   "
Haha nice one |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Stress.... hope you find yourself again soon... or...sub consciously you've had enough and want something else...
I’m not stressed at all! For the first time in my life, I’m actually in a stress free zone!
I don’t mind that I have no sex drive, was just wondering if it’s common among women my age
I became rampant in my 40s...last gasp for my eggs maybe?
Do you use a vibrator? "
Can’t even be bothered to get it out! The few times I’ve made myself bother, I’ve been that un-aroused it’s gone back into the drawer! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
Peri menopause maybe... therefore hormones "
I definitely think it’s peri menopause. I can’t tell you how disinterested I’ve been for the last few months. There’s a guy who previously I fancied so much that being in bed with him wasn’t close enough, I wanted to climb up inside him! Now I’m like “meh” when I think of him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
Could be to do with hormones! I feel the same sometimes when I have a lot of oestrogen (upper dosage) it can tank my sex moods. I feel like I’m more on ur ovulation stage where I get 2 weeks of wanting it all the time and the other 2 weeks I am not that bothered really. But I take HRT so that definitely affects my sex moods x
I’d talk to your doctor about it and maybe get ur hormonal levels checked x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
Could be to do with hormones! I feel the same sometimes when I have a lot of oestrogen (upper dosage) it can tank my sex moods. I feel like I’m more on ur ovulation stage where I get 2 weeks of wanting it all the time and the other 2 weeks I am not that bothered really. But I take HRT so that definitely affects my sex moods x
I’d talk to your doctor about it and maybe get ur hormonal levels checked x "
I will do
He’s checked my thyroid and done a full blood count and that’s all ok.
It’ll be a lot easier if it doesn’t come back I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don't have a partner and a regular opportunity to be intimate, I don’t think it's highly unusual to not feel the horn
Or anything to be overly concerned about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
Could be to do with hormones! I feel the same sometimes when I have a lot of oestrogen (upper dosage) it can tank my sex moods. I feel like I’m more on ur ovulation stage where I get 2 weeks of wanting it all the time and the other 2 weeks I am not that bothered really. But I take HRT so that definitely affects my sex moods x
I’d talk to your doctor about it and maybe get ur hormonal levels checked x
I will do
He’s checked my thyroid and done a full blood count and that’s all ok.
It’ll be a lot easier if it doesn’t come back I think "
I mean you will be alright it’s probably nothing to worry about, I bet it happens! Also if you aren’t that bothered that’s kinda less of a “problem” |
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Mines been gone just over a year now. Partly due to a break up, partly due to weight gain, partly due to seeing people treat others like nothings on a daily basis here and off here.
So I think it's been scared away. I don't wanna get mugged off, lied to or have someone lie to their partner who doesn't exist for fab purposes and willy wetting but very much exists elsewhere.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you don't have a partner and a regular opportunity to be intimate, I don’t think it's highly unusual to not feel the horn
Or anything to be overly concerned about "
I did think this. The less you do it, the less you want it. Vicious circle though because Joe I couldn’t even bring myself to bother! |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I think, OP, in light of the GP not finding anything physically wrong, perhaps it is just a phase that lasts for a while and is not worth worrying about, just like not feeling an appetite to eat is normal at times.
And as somebody else said, if you are not feeling an attraction to anybody at the moment, just be ok with that?
Also, maybe you are reaching a point of change in your life: two adult sons sooner or later setting up their own lives, maybe you are now needing a mental or emotional connection before a physical one? Again that would be quite a "normal" thing to experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
Peri menopause maybe... therefore hormones
I definitely think it’s peri menopause. I can’t tell you how disinterested I’ve been for the last few months. There’s a guy who previously I fancied so much that being in bed with him wasn’t close enough, I wanted to climb up inside him! Now I’m like “meh” when I think of him "
Have a look online for booster stuff...I m not sure what though... horrible to feel like that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you don't have a partner and a regular opportunity to be intimate, I don’t think it's highly unusual to not feel the horn
Or anything to be overly concerned about
I did think this. The less you do it, the less you want it. Vicious circle though because Joe I couldn’t even bring myself to bother! "
*though, fuck knows who Joe Is haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks all 
I’m physically well, exercise regularly and eat well.
I’ll see what happens over the next six months and if that’s that, so be it "
Hopefully a phase.... you are gorgeous by the way...amazing boobies...boob envy right here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks all
I’m physically well, exercise regularly and eat well.
I’ll see what happens over the next six months and if that’s that, so be it "
Oh also...maybe get thyroid levels checked...that might be the driver for it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks all
I’m physically well, exercise regularly and eat well.
I’ll see what happens over the next six months and if that’s that, so be it
Hopefully a phase.... you are gorgeous by the way...amazing boobies...boob envy right here "
Thankyou, you’re very kind |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"About five or six years ago my sex drive went on deep freeze. Couldn't stand even to be touched amorously, the thought repulsed me.
Severe anxiety, in the end."
That’s how I feel at the moment.
I’m not anxious or stressed but think it might be menopause |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"Thanks all
I’m physically well, exercise regularly and eat well.
I’ll see what happens over the next six months and if that’s that, so be it "
Think that’s it though, if you’re happy it’s ok. If you want it but it just isn’t “coming” work through the possible issues with your doctor.
What I’d say anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get fleeting glimpses of a libido but it barely registers with me and I cant do much with it when I do. I have no desire to go out chasing anything and feel much the same as you. Luckily as we dont really care, if it does return then yay, if not then Im sure I have some cats to feed and love or something instead |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get fleeting glimpses of a libido but it barely registers with me and I cant do much with it when I do. I have no desire to go out chasing anything and feel much the same as you. Luckily as we dont really care, if it does return then yay, if not then Im sure I have some cats to feed and love or something instead "
It definitely makes life easier.
I think that I think at times that I “should” have an active sex life and maybe I’m missing out on something but I don’t think that’s the case  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Came on here after a long recovery from a disabling condition. I mean, every one looks great. But not feeling it. Going to go to empire soon and see if i feel any different and check out some porn. Not sure how i feel, just a bit meh. Probably not helped by being in lock down for an age. Maybe need to interact with real people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Came on here after a long recovery from a disabling condition. I mean, every one looks great. But not feeling it. Going to go to empire soon and see if i feel any different and check out some porn. Not sure how i feel, just a bit meh. Probably not helped by being in lock down for an age. Maybe need to interact with real people."
That’s exactly how I feel - meh.
I put on porn, reluctantly - boring, turn it off.
Chat with really lovely guys - nothing
It’s a strange feeling for me but it’s really helping me to get over someone that I was obsessed with so every cloud
 |
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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
Are you in an unhappy relationship or one that's lost all romance?
That's the only thing I've known to affect my sex drive negatively.
Now in my single years (I'm 41) it's been pretty steady. I know that it does depend a lot on the right mental stimulation though so maybe you need more of that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you in an unhappy relationship or one that's lost all romance?
That's the only thing I've known to affect my sex drive negatively.
Now in my single years (I'm 41) it's been pretty steady. I know that it does depend a lot on the right mental stimulation though so maybe you need more of that."
No, I’ve been happily single for four years and don’t want to change that. It’s weird, I’m genuinely happy in my life so don’t know what’s happened |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Other stuff going on in your life?
I've gone through periods when my libido has gone from horny teenager to absolutely nothing for months. It always came back eventually. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Other stuff going on in your life?
I've gone through periods when my libido has gone from horny teenager to absolutely nothing for months. It always came back eventually."
No! That’s the weird thing! I’m actually happier and more relaxed than I’ve been for many years! |
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Maybe seek out a friendship, or a few friendships. Completely non sexual and see how they go. The more time you spend with someone and you are attracted to them, then the sexual feelings might return.
Could it be that being on here and Insta there is a level of expectation from most who contact you and therefore your brain is putting barriers up without telling you first? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe seek out a friendship, or a few friendships. Completely non sexual and see how they go. The more time you spend with someone and you are attracted to them, then the sexual feelings might return.
Could it be that being on here and Insta there is a level of expectation from most who contact you and therefore your brain is putting barriers up without telling you first? "
Possibly.
When I’ve had male friends I find that they are just using a pretence of friendship as a way to try to fuck me. 100% of the time this has been my experience. So I wouldn’t want any male “friends”. I’m not open to a relationship and wouldn’t want to lead anyone on either.
Maybe it’s for the best haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Other stuff going on in your life?
I've gone through periods when my libido has gone from horny teenager to absolutely nothing for months. It always came back eventually.
No! That’s the weird thing! I’m actually happier and more relaxed than I’ve been for many years! "
I'd honestly say try to enjoy it - I was so much more productive when I didn't spend most of the day thinking about boobs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Other stuff going on in your life?
I've gone through periods when my libido has gone from horny teenager to absolutely nothing for months. It always came back eventually.
No! That’s the weird thing! I’m actually happier and more relaxed than I’ve been for many years!
I'd honestly say try to enjoy it - I was so much more productive when I didn't spend most of the day thinking about boobs. "
That’s it! I need to stop worrying that I should be feeling a certain way or should be doing certain things and just enjoy my life |
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"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
I had this over lockdown, I was really questioning myself. I think exercise was partly to do with it, but also think there was some underlying anxiety etc.
Either way, mine came back, not quite back to what it was, but not far off.
Maybe speak with the doctor too, it maybe something as simple as your pill etc. (I get I'm a guy, so no problem if you don't listen to me on this) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
I had this over lockdown, I was really questioning myself. I think exercise was partly to do with it, but also think there was some underlying anxiety etc.
Either way, mine came back, not quite back to what it was, but not far off.
Maybe speak with the doctor too, it maybe something as simple as your pill etc. (I get I'm a guy, so no problem if you don't listen to me on this)"
I don’t take a hormonal contraceptive but that can be a cause.
Thanks |
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"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
I'm a guy and I'm the same. You can change your diet and see if that helps. Stress and bad diet can contribute |
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I definitely had a dry spell when I hit 40, sex didn't bother me in the slightest!
I was folate, B12 and Vit D Deficient, I think that had something to do with it. Although your doc says bloods are fine, levels might not be optimal, they only look at the ranges.
My B12 was under 200 and they refused to treat it, optimal levels are closer to 1000!
I would check your results and do a bit of research.
I'm not peri menopausal yet, they checked that too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I definitely had a dry spell when I hit 40, sex didn't bother me in the slightest!
I was folate, B12 and Vit D Deficient, I think that had something to do with it. Although your doc says bloods are fine, levels might not be optimal, they only look at the ranges.
My B12 was under 200 and they refused to treat it, optimal levels are closer to 1000!
I would check your results and do a bit of research.
I'm not peri menopausal yet, they checked that too "
I’ll have a look at that, thanks!
I do eat well and take a multivitamin but don’t think it has B12? I’ll have to have a look |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest the older I get the more rampant I am , but I’ve always had a high sex drive , hence why we’re on Fab , so my fella can get a helping hand "
Brilliant!
A lot of my friends are like that, just me who’s the odd one out! |
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"No ideas sorry, maybe take up exercise
I work out 4-6 times a week, I’ve always been really into fitness "
Maybe workout less I'm sure I read somewhere that to much working out can reduce your libido  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No ideas sorry, maybe take up exercise
I work out 4-6 times a week, I’ve always been really into fitness
Maybe workout less I'm sure I read somewhere that to much working out can reduce your libido "
Really?
I’ve actually reduced it from 7 days! Hmmm maybe it is exercise. Never thought of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest the older I get the more rampant I am , but I’ve always had a high sex drive , hence why we’re on Fab , so my fella can get a helping hand
Brilliant!
A lot of my friends are like that, just me who’s the odd one out! "
I’m sure this is a passing phase x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wife the same, Doctor puts it down to menopause and/or thyroid.... no treatment seems to work for her"
Hmm I’ve had my thyroid checked and that’s fine. I’m still having a regular cycle. Not sure.
I hope your wife can find something that works |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest the older I get the more rampant I am , but I’ve always had a high sex drive , hence why we’re on Fab , so my fella can get a helping hand
Brilliant!
A lot of my friends are like that, just me who’s the odd one out!
I’m sure this is a passing phase x "
I’ll see what the next six months hold x |
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Perimenopause is certainly a possibility but so is depression. The fact that you were horny around ovulation and then nothing would point to this, even with the doc checking levels. If you're satisfied for now, give it some time, but HRT is certainly something to bear in mind. Oestrogen gel is worth considering as a starting point. As far as mental health goes, if everything else in your life is as it was, that's a good thing! But yeah, lockdown has screwed us up a lot and Fab can be a bit toxic. Maybe take a break for a few weeks and see how you feel after that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always found the less I get the less I want it, then it becomes a chore, it can be a nasty cycle. Go get yourself some regular cock and see if you still feel the same way in a couple of weeks
Claire |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perimenopause is certainly a possibility but so is depression. The fact that you were horny around ovulation and then nothing would point to this, even with the doc checking levels. If you're satisfied for now, give it some time, but HRT is certainly something to bear in mind. Oestrogen gel is worth considering as a starting point. As far as mental health goes, if everything else in your life is as it was, that's a good thing! But yeah, lockdown has screwed us up a lot and Fab can be a bit toxic. Maybe take a break for a few weeks and see how you feel after that x"
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've always found the less I get the less I want it, then it becomes a chore, it can be a nasty cycle. Go get yourself some regular cock and see if you still feel the same way in a couple of weeks
Claire "
I agree to that but I couldn’t even bring myself to bother!
It wouldn’t be fair on the guy either, to have to stick it into a disinterested, unaroused person |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
A healthy body and mind has the ability to put most things back in line or further forward exercise is the key to get everything functioning like tick tock |
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"I've always found the less I get the less I want it, then it becomes a chore, it can be a nasty cycle. Go get yourself some regular cock and see if you still feel the same way in a couple of weeks
Claire
I agree to that but I couldn’t even bring myself to bother!
It wouldn’t be fair on the guy either, to have to stick it into a disinterested, unaroused person "
Have you tried going to a swingers club and just watching? Not only are you seeing people have sex, but the sounds and smells may arouse you further. Or you could try something you've never done before, have sex with a woman, bondage etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've always found the less I get the less I want it, then it becomes a chore, it can be a nasty cycle. Go get yourself some regular cock and see if you still feel the same way in a couple of weeks
Claire
I agree to that but I couldn’t even bring myself to bother!
It wouldn’t be fair on the guy either, to have to stick it into a disinterested, unaroused person
Have you tried going to a swingers club and just watching? Not only are you seeing people have sex, but the sounds and smells may arouse you further. Or you could try something you've never done before, have sex with a woman, bondage etc"
I’ve tried bondage and it was ok but wasn’t my thing.
I’ve had sex with women, again lovely but not my thing.
I might try a club once they open if I could just watch. That might be an idea. I’d need to find the motivation to get ready and go! |
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"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
Three months is nothing really. Don't stress about it, give it a few more weeks and if still nothing stirs you maybe think about seeing a doctor ( that's hilarious in itself considering the difficulty in getting an appointment).
You don't have to feel sexual all the time. It's ok to have some time off |
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"I've always found the less I get the less I want it, then it becomes a chore, it can be a nasty cycle. Go get yourself some regular cock and see if you still feel the same way in a couple of weeks
Claire
I agree to that but I couldn’t even bring myself to bother!
It wouldn’t be fair on the guy either, to have to stick it into a disinterested, unaroused person
Have you tried going to a swingers club and just watching? Not only are you seeing people have sex, but the sounds and smells may arouse you further. Or you could try something you've never done before, have sex with a woman, bondage etc
I’ve tried bondage and it was ok but wasn’t my thing.
I’ve had sex with women, again lovely but not my thing.
I might try a club once they open if I could just watch. That might be an idea. I’d need to find the motivation to get ready and go! "
I'd try not to think about it too much, just say to yourself, I'm going out to the club let's get ready. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I might try a club once they open if I could just watch. That might be an idea. I’d need to find the motivation to get ready and go! "
What motivates you to go to the gym, that obvioulsy works; can you tap into that? |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
I've go through this pretty frequently! Honestly sometimes your body just needs time, I find I need to work on how I feel about myself before I want to get back into sex. Lots of self care and really checking in with my body to work out what it needs and wants. Its probably harder to turn me on than turn me off and honestly fab doesn't help.
Spending lots of time in sexually charged situations helps, bubble baths with partners, massages, dates, drinks. I need my brain to get turned on before my body will, and even more so when I just don't feel horny.
Generally keeping up with eating well and drinking enough water will help, make sure all of your essentials are taken care off. Its so easy for your body to be stressed and for your brain not to process what's going on but honestly don't be too hard on yourself.
Check in with a GP, gyno, clinic etc if you're worried about it long term. They may be able to have a look at other factors (like contraception and lifestyle) to work out what's going on.
I'm not in the mood rn because it's roasting, almost nothing on the planet can get me really turned on when I'm too hot  |
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"I definitely had a dry spell when I hit 40, sex didn't bother me in the slightest!
I was folate, B12 and Vit D Deficient, I think that had something to do with it. Although your doc says bloods are fine, levels might not be optimal, they only look at the ranges.
My B12 was under 200 and they refused to treat it, optimal levels are closer to 1000!
I would check your results and do a bit of research.
I'm not peri menopausal yet, they checked that too
I’ll have a look at that, thanks!
I do eat well and take a multivitamin but don’t think it has B12? I’ll have to have a look "
Multivitamins really aren't worth it, they won't have the right ratios/dosage. They're like taking smarties x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
Three months is nothing really. Don't stress about it, give it a few more weeks and if still nothing stirs you maybe think about seeing a doctor ( that's hilarious in itself considering the difficulty in getting an appointment).
You don't have to feel sexual all the time. It's ok to have some time off "
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I might try a club once they open if I could just watch. That might be an idea. I’d need to find the motivation to get ready and go!
What motivates you to go to the gym, that obvioulsy works; can you tap into that?"
It’s round the corner, I don’t have to shave, wash my hair, get dressed up or put makeup on haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I definitely had a dry spell when I hit 40, sex didn't bother me in the slightest!
I was folate, B12 and Vit D Deficient, I think that had something to do with it. Although your doc says bloods are fine, levels might not be optimal, they only look at the ranges.
My B12 was under 200 and they refused to treat it, optimal levels are closer to 1000!
I would check your results and do a bit of research.
I'm not peri menopausal yet, they checked that too
I’ll have a look at that, thanks!
I do eat well and take a multivitamin but don’t think it has B12? I’ll have to have a look
Multivitamins really aren't worth it, they won't have the right ratios/dosage. They're like taking smarties x"
Hmm I have heard this |
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"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
Do you have any friends that would join you at a club? That might give you the motivation to go together rather than on your own. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've go through this pretty frequently! Honestly sometimes your body just needs time, I find I need to work on how I feel about myself before I want to get back into sex. Lots of self care and really checking in with my body to work out what it needs and wants. Its probably harder to turn me on than turn me off and honestly fab doesn't help.
Spending lots of time in sexually charged situations helps, bubble baths with partners, massages, dates, drinks. I need my brain to get turned on before my body will, and even more so when I just don't feel horny.
Generally keeping up with eating well and drinking enough water will help, make sure all of your essentials are taken care off. Its so easy for your body to be stressed and for your brain not to process what's going on but honestly don't be too hard on yourself.
Check in with a GP, gyno, clinic etc if you're worried about it long term. They may be able to have a look at other factors (like contraception and lifestyle) to work out what's going on.
I'm not in the mood rn because it's roasting, almost nothing on the planet can get me really turned on when I'm too hot "
Good ideas there. I do take a lot of time for my self. I like swimming or riding my bike and having nice long baths.
I can’t do anything sexually charged as I’m single and don’t have a fwb but I do make myself have a lot of me time, reading or watching a film in bed etc.
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
Do you have any friends that would join you at a club? That might give you the motivation to go together rather than on your own."
I do and they are keen but I think they would want me to join in with them and not stand there like a “party pooper”. |
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"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas
Do you have any friends that would join you at a club? That might give you the motivation to go together rather than on your own.
I do and they are keen but I think they would want me to join in with them and not stand there like a “party pooper”."
That's ok, that doesn't mean you have to join in. You could watch and if you felt anything, you could join in. Or you could mingle and just talk to others, the main thing would be that you were there and you would discover if it helped or not. |
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I honestly don't think the answer to loss of libido is sex. If it's not medical and a rest period doesn't work maybe reading novels or watching films that aren't particularly "sexy" but contain an erotic element. Unhelpfully I can't suggest any but you wouldn't be forcing the issue just introducing the idea gently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What motivates you to go to the gym, that obvioulsy works; can you tap into that?
It’s round the corner, I don’t have to shave, wash my hair, get dressed up or put makeup on haha "
haha, very good! So what you're saying is you'd get the horn back so long as you can have sex hairy legged, greasy haired and in your joggers?! |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"What motivates you to go to the gym, that obvioulsy works; can you tap into that?
It’s round the corner, I don’t have to shave, wash my hair, get dressed up or put makeup on haha
haha, very good! So what you're saying is you'd get the horn back so long as you can have sex hairy legged, greasy haired and in your joggers?! "
How I do it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I honestly don't think the answer to loss of libido is sex. If it's not medical and a rest period doesn't work maybe reading novels or watching films that aren't particularly "sexy" but contain an erotic element. Unhelpfully I can't suggest any but you wouldn't be forcing the issue just introducing the idea gently "
That’s a good idea |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What motivates you to go to the gym, that obvioulsy works; can you tap into that?
It’s round the corner, I don’t have to shave, wash my hair, get dressed up or put makeup on haha
haha, very good! So what you're saying is you'd get the horn back so long as you can have sex hairy legged, greasy haired and in your joggers?! "
Haha not quite |
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We both went through this last year and beginning of this year. Months of zero sex drive. Probably went on from September last year to March this year.
We know it was a combination of multiple things. Lock down, no privacy, high stress due to events that where going on in our personal lives, a health issue etc etc.
Barely touched each other let alone thought about anyone else and didn't log onto fab for months and months.
Then we got our first child free night in May and decided to make an effort to sexy things up for that night. Just like that, back to our old selves after one night of passion.
You'll find your solution but you have to keep looking and explore all options.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We both went through this last year and beginning of this year. Months of zero sex drive. Probably went on from September last year to March this year.
We know it was a combination of multiple things. Lock down, no privacy, high stress due to events that where going on in our personal lives, a health issue etc etc.
Barely touched each other let alone thought about anyone else and didn't log onto fab for months and months.
Then we got our first child free night in May and decided to make an effort to sexy things up for that night. Just like that, back to our old selves after one night of passion.
You'll find your solution but you have to keep looking and explore all options.
"
Glad you got your spark back |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I would say it’s definitely hormones based. If it’s bothering you Gp can help "
I’m going to get checked further, not that I’m bothered but just peace of mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wondering if any of the ladies can relate.
In my 30’s I had a huge sex drive.
When I turned 40, I was only really wanting it for two weeks every month (around ovulation). This was like clockwork. For the other two weeks, I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be touched!
For the last three months - nothing. No desire, no sex drive, no attraction to anyone (even guys that I would previously be attracted to.
Any ideas "
About 5 years ago I completly lost my mojo. Absolutely no sex drive at all. Like zero. So I went to see my GP(he thought it was entertaining). Anyway they took fluid samples. When the results came back, the GP told me I was physically fine. In fact my sex drive should be high. So they gave me pills(to relax my mind), which worked for the short term. So to cut the story short, and after a lot of reading and research I discovered Tantra. And after 3 years of attending workshops and seeing a professional practitioner my sexual energy is high, like really high. Prior I'd never had a multiple orgasm, orgasms that last for hours. My sexual energy is on high alert on average 6 days a week every week, month...
'The most powerful sex organ is the human brain'. Now I am constantly learning something new every month. |
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"I definitely had a dry spell when I hit 40, sex didn't bother me in the slightest!
I was folate, B12 and Vit D Deficient, I think that had something to do with it. Although your doc says bloods are fine, levels might not be optimal, they only look at the ranges.
My B12 was under 200 and they refused to treat it, optimal levels are closer to 1000!
I would check your results and do a bit of research.
I'm not peri menopausal yet, they checked that too
I’ll have a look at that, thanks!
I do eat well and take a multivitamin but don’t think it has B12? I’ll have to have a look
Multivitamins really aren't worth it, they won't have the right ratios/dosage. They're like taking smarties x
Hmm I have heard this "
Vitamin D is actually a hormone, a friend of mine had the same issues as you and like you felt physically fine although tired at times. Her GP done loads of blood tests and the only thing lacking was Vit D. After 6 weeks of high doses of Vit D she was at her most rampant (her words) so worth considering. About 3 years ago I also a Vit D deficiency although it had no lack of sexual desire lol |
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"I definitely had a dry spell when I hit 40, sex didn't bother me in the slightest!
I was folate, B12 and Vit D Deficient, I think that had something to do with it. Although your doc says bloods are fine, levels might not be optimal, they only look at the ranges.
My B12 was under 200 and they refused to treat it, optimal levels are closer to 1000!
I would check your results and do a bit of research.
I'm not peri menopausal yet, they checked that too
I’ll have a look at that, thanks!
I do eat well and take a multivitamin but don’t think it has B12? I’ll have to have a look
Multivitamins really aren't worth it, they won't have the right ratios/dosage. They're like taking smarties x
Hmm I have heard this
Vitamin D is actually a hormone, a friend of mine had the same issues as you and like you felt physically fine although tired at times. Her GP done loads of blood tests and the only thing lacking was Vit D. After 6 weeks of high doses of Vit D she was at her most rampant (her words) so worth considering. About 3 years ago I also a Vit D deficiency although it had no lack of sexual desire lol"
*I not it* |
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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago
from the womb and tryout to get back |
Aw Liverpoolgirl1234 you must have looked at my profile around the time this all started unfortunately I have that affect on all women you need to be hyp not ised once out your head you should be fine  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I definitely had a dry spell when I hit 40, sex didn't bother me in the slightest!
I was folate, B12 and Vit D Deficient, I think that had something to do with it. Although your doc says bloods are fine, levels might not be optimal, they only look at the ranges.
My B12 was under 200 and they refused to treat it, optimal levels are closer to 1000!
I would check your results and do a bit of research.
I'm not peri menopausal yet, they checked that too
I’ll have a look at that, thanks!
I do eat well and take a multivitamin but don’t think it has B12? I’ll have to have a look
Multivitamins really aren't worth it, they won't have the right ratios/dosage. They're like taking smarties x
Hmm I have heard this
Vitamin D is actually a hormone, a friend of mine had the same issues as you and like you felt physically fine although tired at times. Her GP done loads of blood tests and the only thing lacking was Vit D. After 6 weeks of high doses of Vit D she was at her most rampant (her words) so worth considering. About 3 years ago I also a Vit D deficiency although it had no lack of sexual desire lol"
I’ll definitely have a look at that |
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