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Jokes Jokes Jokes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Ex sent me a video of she and her new man having sex to hurt me.
I sent it to her dad."
Hahaha
1 of mine tried this crack, said she was going to fuck my mate and ring me whilst they are at it, I asked if she'd mind if I hid in the wardrobe
She didn'tike the come back
They never like the come back
Hated for life but they can't help but love me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard 1 last night
Why did the turtle cross the dance floor ?
To get to the bar
Shite I know but that's all ya getting for now 
Oi oi! I do the turtle jokes around here"
I was thinking about you whilst writing it, I was going to do the tradition chicken but there's no fun in a chicken  |
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By *an4funMan
over a year ago
london |
"Heard 1 last night
Why did the turtle cross the dance floor ?
To get to the bar
Shite I know but that's all ya getting for now
Oi oi! I do the turtle jokes around here
I was thinking about you whilst writing it, I was going to do the tradition chicken but there's no fun in a chicken "
I'm sure I could get plenty of fun out of a chicken.
Did I just say that out loud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A woman gave birth to identical twins she named them "Whan" and "Amall"
She couldn't keep them so put them up for adoption
21 years later she gets a pic from Whan
She said to her hubby look how gorgeous he's turned out eh ...pity I can't get a pic of other one
Her hubby says we'll "if you've seen Whan you've seen Amall |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're looking for a quiet place to sleep, then the opponents goal in an England match is good. (Generally) "
Or you can make up the spare bedroom for the ball. I'm sure you know why that is  |
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Thor the thunder god gets bored with his god like status asks the main man Odin if he can be like us down on earth after a lot of persuasion the main hombre says ok but on condition that if after 24 hrs whoever you are are with got to be honest ok he says down with us he goes gets to a club that night having a great time meets a stunning girl she's got a bad lisp.hit it off goes back to her place end up fucking all night him being super god a bit more wakes up the next morning knackered she's whacked goes to the toilet 30 mins to go fuck got to be honest shouts Sally got to tell you something what she says says I am Thor she shouts your Thor I'm that tor I can hardly pee |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
A security guard stopped me as I walked out of Tesco this morning.
"I believe you've got a bottle of champagne inside your jacket," he said, "Would you mind opening it for me?"
"Not at all," I replied, "Have you got a couple of glasses?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know what I haven't come across lately, someone named lance? What about you? I find it quite strange. Because in medieval times you used to find the name.......... lancealot.
Such a dad joke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went to the local nightclub last night , they played the Twist and I did the twist , next they played Jump and I jumped about , then they played Come on Eileen, was thrown out after that . |
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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago
The South |
"I'll repeat one from the 'bottled water"thread ..because it's funny.
.
"If you hold an opened bottle of water to your ear,you can hear sound of marketing men laughing their heads off.""
When drinking a bottle of Evian, look through the bottle to the inside or back of the label, see what Evian now spells.....
E |
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"My Ex sent me a video of she and her new man having sex to hurt me.
I sent it to her dad."
I do hope you're jooing 'cos that's revenge porn and illegal. She may well have the last laugh if she presses charges.
...and back to the giggles now folks |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
An elderly man living alone in Manchester wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Paul, who used to help him, was in prison (strange ways) . The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Paul,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Paul.
At 4 a.m. the next morning, CID officers and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Paul |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
There was a young woman called Grace
Who's corsets would no longer lace
"There's more in your belly"
Said her mother, Nellie
"Than ever went in through your face". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard 1 last night
Why did the turtle cross the dance floor ?
To get to the bar
Shite I know but that's all ya getting for now
Oi oi! I do the turtle jokes around here
I was thinking about you whilst writing it, I was going to do the tradition chicken but there's no fun in a chicken
I'm sure I could get plenty of fun out of a chicken.
Did I just say that out loud"
Hahahahahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard 1 last night
Why did the turtle cross the dance floor ?
To get to the bar
Shite I know but that's all ya getting for now
Oi oi! I do the turtle jokes around here"
I'm pretty new here, but the one thing I do know is Dan likes turtles. |
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