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The continuing thread for the delectation of posuers everywhere
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
make the lies big and wholesome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Is one of those your word of the week  |
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well thats a swine to understand |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
has a degree in erudition |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could do with a spot of meditation today  |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
femme has been shopping in B n Q for her dungon supplies.. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"femme has been shopping in B n Q for her dungon supplies.. "
how the feck did you know that!  |
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has been begging me for filthy sex for months but i must remain strong  |
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"femme has been shopping in B n Q for her dungon supplies.. how the feck did you know that! "
cos your a pervert :P |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"femme has been shopping in B n Q for her dungon supplies.. how the feck did you know that! cos your a pervert :P"
True  |
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Wears primani latex football shirts |
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wears slippers because he hasnt mastered laces yet |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
goes to the supermarket early every morning to buy a fresh hogs pudding to pad out his shorts... |
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Pads her bra with three day old squid (smells better than her normal BO ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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is runing out of moles..... |
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Had them surgically removed
Apprentice shoe salesman, on the off chance he can sneak a view to satisfy his bunnion fetish |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
drives a souped up relaint robin, with alloy wheels and furry dice on the mirror, in the back is a matress he found on the M5 |
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It's a shag wagon
Scours shoe shops hoping somebody will kiss her bunions |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"It's a shag wagon
Scours shoe shops hoping somebody will kiss her bunions"
ohh and lick between me toes please, the althletes foot is driving me crazy..
has tried to join the free masions but cant get the hang of the hand shake.. |
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"It's a shag wagon
Scours shoe shops hoping somebody will kiss her bunions
ohh and lick between me toes please, the althletes foot is driving me crazy..
has tried to join the free masions but cant get the hang of the hand shake.."
I can teach you but I'd have to charge
Applied to the masons hoping to get a stone dildo as a joining gift
Learned a new use for a compass |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
read the Hornblower books and wanted to try boxing the compass - but was hurt when it fought back |
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Was told to join the army to become a man
Joined the navy to feel one instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has a beautiful face  |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Is head of the Justin bieber fan club in the UK., |
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I do it for the money
Justin bieber fan club member no1 |
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The spots aren't contagious
Had a beard just like Noel Edmonds
At both ends |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Uses spaghetti hoops on his co** instead of doughnuts ...
Don't be fooled girls.. |
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plays tiddly winks by trying to flip his balls up his bum |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Tells everyone she's passed the bar....
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The people at aa are so proud. |
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Posts pictures of all his fellow AA members on his blog "to prove to others that he does have friends" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The RAC wont go near him, coz of wot he hangs his green flag off...
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Really charming guy, life and soul of every party, most popular person on the site |
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wears lizard skin winkle pickers |
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Wears custom made lizard skin bras |
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is known as the lizard man where he lives for his strange habit of walking his pet ones down the high street on a lead |
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The bearded dragon is on a lead, the chameleon sits on my shoulder.
The geckos stay in my pocket
Runs a combined reptile shop and taxidermist
What doesn't sell is turned into lingerie |
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is doing time for the illegal importation of endangered species |
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FBI paid informant
Snitches on reptile importers
Has a fetish for lizard poo |
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illegaly imports his reptiles by sitting them on a lilo and towing them behind a pedalo directly from the rain forest |
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Pedalo peddler, peddles pedalos to unsuspecting reptile importers the reports the imports when his customer is in customs |
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Loves dressing up in a skimpy leotard and dancing to the Beyonce Single Ladies song at family weddings
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Went on a moon mission, ...
Arrested for indecent exposure after dropping his pants in public... |
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Couldn't even get arrested for flashing!
Especially on a cold night |
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has his teeth filed into sharp points! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
was peeping through my hotel window lst night, dressed as a duck |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"has his teeth filed into sharp points!"
uses pablos teeth for skewers,fills em with his reptiles then bbqs em
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"has his teeth filed into sharp points!uses pablos teeth for skewers,fills em with his reptiles then bbqs em"
bbqs the men bits from the meets who dont come up to scratch!
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"has his teeth filed into sharp points!uses pablos teeth for skewers,fills em with his reptiles then bbqs embbqs the men bits from the meets who dont come up to scratch!"
mm bbq balls
lights her farts to keep the bbq going |
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"has his teeth filed into sharp points!uses pablos teeth for skewers,fills em with his reptiles then bbqs embbqs the men bits from the meets who dont come up to scratch! mm bbq balls
lights her farts to keep the bbq going"
its supposed to be Lies Lacey!
does the cooking on a playskool plastic cooker! |
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Eats plastic food, especially KFC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wtf !!!! |
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Only ever speaks in acronyms, lives off blt sandwiches from service stations
Addicted to BP coffee |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Has been known to drop his vowels and consonants,..
Picks them up and puts them back in the bowl of alphabet soup |
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Foamed at the mouth last time he made soup, forgot his glasses and boiled a bar of SOAP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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is a 40 year old virgin |
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Keeps offering to take my virginity, it's not for sale! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keeps offering to take my virginity, it's not for sale!"
is a compulsive liar lol |
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Hasn't stopped lusting after my body since our tryst in the kitchen, has not forgotten my escapades with an egg whisk and her wobbly bits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hasn't stopped lusting after my body since our tryst in the kitchen, has not forgotten my escapades with an egg whisk and her wobbly bits"
clearly has dementia...it was a candlestick in the drawing room and the butler did it |
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Plays games with peoples minds while soliciting sexual favours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plays games with peoples minds while soliciting sexual favours"
but that's all true, dont think you've quite got the hang of this Pablo lol :p x |
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"Plays games with peoples minds while soliciting sexual favours
but that's all true, dont think you've quite got the hang of this Pablo lol :p x"
While playing with her yoyo |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
grew a goatee - didn't realise it would only make him attractive to billy goats |
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is still trying to complete an airfix model he started in 1965! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
cant resist writing " yes please" when filling in the section on forms that ask what sex.. |
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"cant resist writing " yes please" when filling in the section on forms that ask what sex.. "
works at the tax office! |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
got confused between taxmen and taxonomy and ended up with the wrong classification |
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has the biggest haggis cartel in the uk, |
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[Removed by poster at 28/08/12 21:13:01] |
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"[Removed by poster at 28/08/12 21:13:01]"
has his removed poster up on a siding at kings cross!
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
After hearing about uni-sex toilets...
She s applied to become a student. |
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is looking for that maltezer he dropped down his pants last week! |
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Loves malteezers
Puts anything brown in her mouth on the off chance it's a maltezeer |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
was the original producer of the Dog and the Mars Bar porno |
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Still a best seller now.
Once had a standup fight with marrianne faithful over a mars bar. It fell on the floor as they struggled and the dog peed on it |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
You then marinated it for seven days and served it up at a Fab banquet |
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They loved me for it too.
Spent several years and numerous fake eBay accounts offering "that mars bar" for sale.
Still lists it whenever there is a blue moon |
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has been known to stay up for 24 hours solid so he can get himself under a gay guy in the snog suck fuck avoid forum |
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Has a fake straight profile so he can meet women to be his "beard" at family parties |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
offers his paste on beard to ladies who want to pretend they do not shave |
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Tried offering his merkin but is turned down because of the odour |
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"Tried offering his merkin but is turned down because of the odour"
the reason why his lips look like that is because they are stuck together with superglue after he tried to suck off my false eyelashes! |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
and all that after he had been practicing his sucking in the sauna |
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Steam damage to his eyes from peeping through a sauna keyhole |
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"Steam damage to his eyes from peeping through a sauna keyhole"
boiled his chipolatta in the jacuzzi
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
To spice up her sex life she sprinkled chilli sauce on her foo foo.. |
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"To spice up her sex life she sprinkled chilli sauce on her foo foo.."
puts foo foo sauce on his chips! |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"To spice up her sex life she sprinkled chilli sauce on her foo foo..
foo foo sauce on his chips!"
no that would be cream |
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was on jeremy kyle show with her 6 bigamist husbands! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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despite her profile name, the above only wears undies from Marks n Sparks....... |
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"despite her profile name, the above only wears undies from Marks n Sparks......."
kissed andy pandy in the playground! |
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Got all naughty with looby loo in her teddy |
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"Got all naughty with looby loo in her teddy"
here she comes looby loo here she comes looby lie! |
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Also filmed a short adult movie with the flowerpot men and two of the woodentops |
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Debbie doesn't do Disney she is ...... |
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has a topiary penis in his garden! |
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Has a little beaver in her lady garden and is incapable of grooming it |
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"Has a little beaver in her lady garden and is incapable of grooming it"
grows giant pumpkins and fondles them every sunday morning! |
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You saw that pick in gardeners world
Has smashing pumpkins , now that they have rectified her boob job |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wins prizes at the local horticultural show for her mellons but wont share her techniques in case people start forcing their marows..... |
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"wins prizes at the local horticultural show for her mellons but wont share her techniques in case people start forcing their marows....."
only grows peas as he needs something to measure use as a scale measure on his profile cock pic! |
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Always up for some pea fun. Quite capable with a marrow too |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
wrote the naughty scripts for playschool where the presenters ended up banging each other |
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"wrote the naughty scripts for playschool where the presenters ended up banging each other "
once gave bungle a b.j
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Playschool groupie, once had an orgy with Brian Cant Johnny ball and floella Benjamin to try and get backstage on play away for a grope with Jeremy irons. Ended up naked with Toni Arthur And rik jones |
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"Playschool groupie, once had an orgy with Brian Cant Johnny ball and floella Benjamin to try and get backstage on play away for a grope with Jeremy irons. Ended up naked with Toni Arthur And rik jones"
loved every minute of it!
has a crush on shep! |
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"Used humpy as a dildo"
had a wank in the blue peter garden
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Then we trashed it!
Was the main reason that there were rumours about val singletons sexuality. All started when asked if she liked cats screamed out "I Love pussy!" |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
really wanted to be a Dalek but was told he was to machine like |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
exterminate - exterminate |
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Still plays with his Jon pertwee dr who figure |
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I nicked his wallet as well.
Has a tattoo of Spock on her chest, her diagonal nipples are where his ears should be |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Calls himself the duke of York...
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Ten thousand men follow him up the hill every evening. |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"Calls himself the duke of York...
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Ten thousand men follow him up the hill every evening."
its the ones that go down with him im worried about |
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"Calls himself the duke of York...
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Ten thousand men follow him up the hill every evening."
followed the duke of york up the hill and down again as he thought it was the gay pride march! |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Asked to get some ginger nuts, came back with a picture of prince harry.. |
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"Asked to get some ginger nuts, came back with a picture of prince harry.."
no gingerisms allowed on here! |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
Likes tickling baby sheep. Baa-a-a-a! |
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"Likes tickling baby sheep. Baa-a-a-a!"
eats bumjazzle jewels for tea! |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
"Likes tickling baby sheep. Baa-a-a-a!
eats bumjazzle jewels for tea!"
Well they taste so good as I'm licking them off you. |
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"Likes tickling baby sheep. Baa-a-a-a!
eats bumjazzle jewels for tea!
Well they taste so good as I'm licking them off you. "
well my farts smell of roses so my poo must be turkish delight! |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
"Likes tickling baby sheep. Baa-a-a-a!
eats bumjazzle jewels for tea!
Well they taste so good as I'm licking them off you.
well my farts smell of roses so my poo must be turkish delight!"
Same sort of texture Atleast. |
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"Likes tickling baby sheep. Baa-a-a-a!
eats bumjazzle jewels for tea!
Well they taste so good as I'm licking them off you.
well my farts smell of roses so my poo must be turkish delight!
Same sort of texture Atleast. "
i,l post you some in a fancy box for your birthdayx |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
"Likes tickling baby sheep. Baa-a-a-a!
eats bumjazzle jewels for tea!
Well they taste so good as I'm licking them off you.
well my farts smell of roses so my poo must be turkish delight!
Same sort of texture Atleast.
i,l post you some in a fancy box for your birthdayx"
The best pressie that I'll ever recieve?! |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
Is a Les Dennis impersonator |
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stuck a feather up his bum and called himself a peacock! |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
"stuck a feather up his bum and called himself a peacock!"
You mean I'm not?! Oh no!
Gets a weird urge to eat cheese whenever she plays with herself |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
says he;s not stalking me but then sends me a text to remind me i need to buy milk and the leccy needs topping up. |
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Front room is actually a tent on Dartmoor
Constantly searching for a horse as she can only whisper |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
dresses as a horse, hoping to to find someone who wants to put him out to stud. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nicked my 18" dildo to s**g Pablo's ass with |
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My donkey has nothing to do with this
Lent her 18 inch dildo out. Got desperate and started frigging with a two litre pop bottle |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
drinks 2 litres of Vodka before a meet to get some Dutch courage not worried about the brewers droop as it never rises anyway |
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"drinks 2 litres of Vodka before a meet to get some Dutch courage not worried about the brewers droop as it never rises anyway "
pickles his willie in vodka to preeserve it! |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
I'll have you know - I'm a whisky man
wanted to go topless on the beach - but was banned for frightening the fish |
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The only tackle of any note he has is kept in his sporran.
Goes fishing on Hamstead Heath |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"The only tackle of any note he has is kept in his sporran.
Goes fishing on Hamstead Heath"
Thinks women have changeable parts, because he heard a guy say he'd screwed the arse off a girl..
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
keeps fishing in his trousers to keep the dildo in place |
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Real name is Donald
Has never worn a pair of trousers |
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"Real name is Donald
Has never worn a pair of trousers "
sleeps in a wig wam! |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Her nipples are the same length as an Argos pen...
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Now banned from argos.. |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
tried to milk AP to use it for secret writing - that explains his looks now |
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"Her nipples are the same length as an Argos pen...
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Now banned from argos.."
his penis is the same length as a pencil sharpener and looks as tho its been sharpened so much the lead fell out!!! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
been banned from every supermarket due to comparing his cock to the hogs puddings on the deli. |
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makes her bras out of christmas paper hats!! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
knits her bras from the pubic hairs left in her bed after meets. |
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goes to butlins for her holidays |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
is getting a job as a maid to spy on me.. |
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"is getting a job as a maid to spy on me.. "
pays a good wage to the servant! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
pushed humpty dumpty just so she could meet all the kings men... |
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feels up mucky old men in cinemas |
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Oi, less of the ageism if ya don't mind
Is addicted to Jim Reeves whilst hoovering the stairs impeccably |
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has big sweaty pits grom sitting in a deck chair under a wall in his garden too long |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
lets her armpit hair grow long till she can harvest it to use as a wig to cover her bald spots |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
licks the lid of life |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
much prefers liquorice but goes for anything sweet |
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Steals sweets from children
Walks with a dodgy limp on Thursdays |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
has six children by seven different women likes to eat them as babies as they taste better |
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Only sauted though
Supports Queens Park Rangers as he has a morbid fascination with hoops |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
thought Brian Clough was god until he asked him out one nnight - and he said yes |
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spends months at a time living in a pop up beach shelter, watching the thames river in a lonly vigil hoping and praying that Nessie will appear down south |
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Most parts of his body are now pointing south
Only thing he is playful with is his next door neighbours cat |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
tried to be a racing driver - but turned out tpo be a playful pussie cat instead |
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Has The Knowledge
Unfortunately it is of Tokyo |
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"Has The Knowledge
Unfortunately it is of Tokyo "
always gets the booby prize in quiz nights |
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Has pet names for her boobs
Melissa & Camilla |
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