FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A relationship without sex?
A relationship without sex?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
All right, maybe a bit of an odd question to ask on this kind of site, but I was interested in the potential responses.
Would you start a relationship with someone if penetrative sex was not an option? Or rarely an option?
Let's say, for arguments sake, that you like this person, you're attracted to them, you get on well with them. Let's also assume that there are no issues with other forms of intimacy - kissing, cuddling, touching, oral are all options. Just no vaginal and no anal.
Would it make a difference if they were happy to have an open relation so that you could have sex with others? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Yes.
A relationship is about more than sex for me, and if my lack of interest/capability of having penetrative sex required an open relationship for my partner to experience that them so be it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think it would be a problem for me under the circumstances you state there. In theory.
In practice it might be more difficult. Especially at the start of a relationship. There is so much potential passion at the start. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I really liked them I would have a relationship without penetration.
There are lots of other ways to have fun and it may be a small sacrifice compared to everything else you get from the relationship
Would you OP? X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Penetration is a part of sex rather than an aim of it in my opinion, so wouldn't be a problem for me - in fact I'd go as far as to say I find other elements of sex far more intimate personally |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All right, maybe a bit of an odd question to ask on this kind of site, but I was interested in the potential responses.
Would you start a relationship with someone if penetrative sex was not an option? Or rarely an option?
Let's say, for arguments sake, that you like this person, you're attracted to them, you get on well with them. Let's also assume that there are no issues with other forms of intimacy - kissing, cuddling, touching, oral are all options. Just no vaginal and no anal.
Would it make a difference if they were happy to have an open relation so that you could have sex with others?"
If it works for you then yes no issues |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
No I have to say if it was at the start then no.. I'd refuse. Its hard enough when a partner begins to reduce sexual interest once your in a relationship.
I wouldn't pursue a relationship like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If I really liked them I would have a relationship without penetration.
There are lots of other ways to have fun and it may be a small sacrifice compared to everything else you get from the relationship
Would you OP? X"
Yes, I don't think it would be a problem for me if I met a really great guy who had erection problems and wasn't able to penetrate me. It would only be an issue for me personally if he denied me other forms of affection and intimacy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The way my brain works I’d feel rejected if he wouldn’t stick it in me so it wouldn’t work for me. Plus as much as I love rimming and sucking dick I do love being fucked so would be a problem for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If I really liked them I would have a relationship without penetration.
There are lots of other ways to have fun and it may be a small sacrifice compared to everything else you get from the relationship
Would you OP? X
Yes, I don't think it would be a problem for me if I met a really great guy who had erection problems and wasn't able to penetrate me. It would only be an issue for me personally if he denied me other forms of affection and intimacy. "
Little blue table may help him |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No I have to say if it was at the start then no.. I'd refuse. Its hard enough when a partner begins to reduce sexual interest once your in a relationship.
I wouldn't pursue a relationship like that."
That's definitely fair enough! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If I really liked them I would have a relationship without penetration.
There are lots of other ways to have fun and it may be a small sacrifice compared to everything else you get from the relationship
Would you OP? X
Yes, I don't think it would be a problem for me if I met a really great guy who had erection problems and wasn't able to penetrate me. It would only be an issue for me personally if he denied me other forms of affection and intimacy. "
Same, affection and intimacy a must |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This happened to me, what started as a normal relationship, I couldn’t give my ex girlfriend what she wanted, she was younger than me and wanted to explore more. It ended up with her meeting regular guys to give her the pleasure she craved and we rarely had sex together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I completely mis read the OP  Try again 
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it."
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All right, maybe a bit of an odd question to ask on this kind of site, but I was interested in the potential responses.
Would you start a relationship with someone if penetrative sex was not an option? Or rarely an option?
Let's say, for arguments sake, that you like this person, you're attracted to them, you get on well with them. Let's also assume that there are no issues with other forms of intimacy - kissing, cuddling, touching, oral are all options. Just no vaginal and no anal.
Would it make a difference if they were happy to have an open relation so that you could have sex with others?"
Yes I could have that sort of relationship - but they would have to be a very special type of man and have no issue with including someone else in our sex life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right) "
No! Sadly I lost him to it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *not123Couple
over a year ago
sp1 |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it."
Sorry to hear this xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it."
Oh I’m really sorry to hear that. Don’t mean to be nosy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it."
I am so sorry to hear that.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it.
Sorry to hear this xx"
I appreciate that ..thank you xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it.
Oh I’m really sorry to hear that. Don’t mean to be nosy "
It's ok honestly....he was a massive part of my life. It was about 15 yrs ago now, I am happy to talk about him and remember him.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it.
I am so sorry to hear that. "
Thank you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All right, maybe a bit of an odd question to ask on this kind of site, but I was interested in the potential responses.
Would you start a relationship with someone if penetrative sex was not an option? Or rarely an option?
Let's say, for arguments sake, that you like this person, you're attracted to them, you get on well with them. Let's also assume that there are no issues with other forms of intimacy - kissing, cuddling, touching, oral are all options. Just no vaginal and no anal.
Would it make a difference if they were happy to have an open relation so that you could have sex with others?"
Yeah if there are talks about being open in the relationship. I’d miss the penetrative factor in the long run x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it.
Oh I’m really sorry to hear that. Don’t mean to be nosy
It's ok honestly....he was a massive part of my life. It was about 15 yrs ago now, I am happy to talk about him and remember him.
"
Oh thank goodness I thought I had dropped a clanger there typically me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it.
Oh I’m really sorry to hear that. Don’t mean to be nosy
It's ok honestly....he was a massive part of my life. It was about 15 yrs ago now, I am happy to talk about him and remember him.
Oh thank goodness I thought I had dropped a clanger there typically me "
No worries x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I completely mis read the OP Try again
I think if everything else was there for me it could work.
I'm not saying I wouldn't miss intercourse because I would but there's other stuff. I like being fucked with a toy so....
My husband had prostrate cancer and we couldn't have intercourse and I'd never have left him because of it.
Hopefully he’s recovered now (right)
No! Sadly I lost him to it.
Oh I’m really sorry to hear that. Don’t mean to be nosy
It's ok honestly....he was a massive part of my life. It was about 15 yrs ago now, I am happy to talk about him and remember him.
Oh thank goodness I thought I had dropped a clanger there typically me
No worries x"
Yay I’m not alone lol So you and chunky nudge nudge wink wink lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am in that exact relationship. Although it didn’t start that way.
We live together. We are married. We don’t have a physical relationship together. He is my best friend. My rock. My one true love. We will always be number 1 for each other, we cuddle, we care for one another. We have an absolutely amazing marriage but when we need sex we source it elsewhere not from each other. He’s allowed me to have long term boyfriends and he has rare occasional hookups that suit him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't start up in a relationship like that as I'm in a relationship which has had nigh on zero intimacy for the last decade and it's tough going, really tough at times.
To be honest I don't think I'd like another long term relationship whatsoever should this one end.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you everybody for your thoughts and opinions.
The reason that I ask is because I suffer from endometriosis. I have had issues with pain from my teens and sex has always been unpleasant at best. I have found that since I have hit my 30's, the pain has progressively gotten worse and worse, despite trying various methods of birth control and even having an operation.
Currently I can't even use small toys or insert my own fingers because it hurts so much that it makes me cry.
The scar tissue affects my bladder and my bowels, so anal sex is painful too.
And the problem is that... well, I just feel that no man will ever consider me for a serious, long term relationship if I am unable to have sex with him. I went on a standard dating site a while back and found the men there to be very sex-focused, and the one guy I did seem to connect with disappeared as soon as I told him.
It makes me feel like I am just not good enough, because of something I can't control.
Sorry for the rant |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you everybody for your thoughts and opinions.
The reason that I ask is because I suffer from endometriosis. I have had issues with pain from my teens and sex has always been unpleasant at best. I have found that since I have hit my 30's, the pain has progressively gotten worse and worse, despite trying various methods of birth control and even having an operation.
Currently I can't even use small toys or insert my own fingers because it hurts so much that it makes me cry.
The scar tissue affects my bladder and my bowels, so anal sex is painful too.
And the problem is that... well, I just feel that no man will ever consider me for a serious, long term relationship if I am unable to have sex with him. I went on a standard dating site a while back and found the men there to be very sex-focused, and the one guy I did seem to connect with disappeared as soon as I told him.
It makes me feel like I am just not good enough, because of something I can't control.
Sorry for the rant "
Sorry to hear that OP.Gosh that must be hard.
Hug of support for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everybody for your thoughts and opinions.
The reason that I ask is because I suffer from endometriosis. I have had issues with pain from my teens and sex has always been unpleasant at best. I have found that since I have hit my 30's, the pain has progressively gotten worse and worse, despite trying various methods of birth control and even having an operation.
Currently I can't even use small toys or insert my own fingers because it hurts so much that it makes me cry.
The scar tissue affects my bladder and my bowels, so anal sex is painful too.
And the problem is that... well, I just feel that no man will ever consider me for a serious, long term relationship if I am unable to have sex with him. I went on a standard dating site a while back and found the men there to be very sex-focused, and the one guy I did seem to connect with disappeared as soon as I told him.
It makes me feel like I am just not good enough, because of something I can't control.
Sorry for the rant "
How very sad for you, but I honestly don't believe this to be a showstopper.
I personally much prefer manual and oral stimulation (both giving and receiving) over pentration and could quite easily envisage a fulfilling sex life without the later.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everybody for your thoughts and opinions.
The reason that I ask is because I suffer from endometriosis. I have had issues with pain from my teens and sex has always been unpleasant at best. I have found that since I have hit my 30's, the pain has progressively gotten worse and worse, despite trying various methods of birth control and even having an operation.
Currently I can't even use small toys or insert my own fingers because it hurts so much that it makes me cry.
The scar tissue affects my bladder and my bowels, so anal sex is painful too.
And the problem is that... well, I just feel that no man will ever consider me for a serious, long term relationship if I am unable to have sex with him. I went on a standard dating site a while back and found the men there to be very sex-focused, and the one guy I did seem to connect with disappeared as soon as I told him.
It makes me feel like I am just not good enough, because of something I can't control.
Sorry for the rant
How very sad for you, but I honestly don't believe this to be a showstopper.
I personally much prefer manual and oral stimulation (both giving and receiving) over pentration and could quite easily envisage a fulfilling sex life without the later.
"
Thank you, that's very nice to hear! I suppose, like with everything in life, it's just a matter of finding the right person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everybody for your thoughts and opinions.
The reason that I ask is because I suffer from endometriosis. I have had issues with pain from my teens and sex has always been unpleasant at best. I have found that since I have hit my 30's, the pain has progressively gotten worse and worse, despite trying various methods of birth control and even having an operation.
Currently I can't even use small toys or insert my own fingers because it hurts so much that it makes me cry.
The scar tissue affects my bladder and my bowels, so anal sex is painful too.
And the problem is that... well, I just feel that no man will ever consider me for a serious, long term relationship if I am unable to have sex with him. I went on a standard dating site a while back and found the men there to be very sex-focused, and the one guy I did seem to connect with disappeared as soon as I told him.
It makes me feel like I am just not good enough, because of something I can't control.
Sorry for the rant
Sorry to hear that OP.Gosh that must be hard.
Hug of support for you."
Thank you. It is very hard to deal with sometimes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you everybody for your thoughts and opinions.
The reason that I ask is because I suffer from endometriosis. I have had issues with pain from my teens and sex has always been unpleasant at best. I have found that since I have hit my 30's, the pain has progressively gotten worse and worse, despite trying various methods of birth control and even having an operation.
Currently I can't even use small toys or insert my own fingers because it hurts so much that it makes me cry.
The scar tissue affects my bladder and my bowels, so anal sex is painful too.
And the problem is that... well, I just feel that no man will ever consider me for a serious, long term relationship if I am unable to have sex with him. I went on a standard dating site a while back and found the men there to be very sex-focused, and the one guy I did seem to connect with disappeared as soon as I told him.
It makes me feel like I am just not good enough, because of something I can't control.
Sorry for the rant "
"Thank you everybody for your thoughts and opinions.
The reason that I ask is because I suffer from endometriosis. I have had issues with pain from my teens and sex has always been unpleasant at best. I have found that since I have hit my 30's, the pain has progressively gotten worse and worse, despite trying various methods of birth control and even having an operation.
Currently I can't even use small toys or insert my own fingers because it hurts so much that it makes me cry.
The scar tissue affects my bladder and my bowels, so anal sex is painful too.
And the problem is that... well, I just feel that no man will ever consider me for a serious, long term relationship if I am unable to have sex with him. I went on a standard dating site a while back and found the men there to be very sex-focused, and the one guy I did seem to connect with disappeared as soon as I told him.
It makes me feel like I am just not good enough, because of something I can't control.
Sorry for the rant "
It’s not a rant it’s just an explanation as to why you asked x
There will be men out there who would have a relationship without penetration it may just take a while to find the right guy. When you mention open relationship, that is fine if that is something you want to do not something you think you need to do as it could put a strain on your relationship if you aren’t fully into open relationships.
The dating sites are a nightmare as I would like to find a partner but they are either dinosaurs or sex mad  xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All right, maybe a bit of an odd question to ask on this kind of site, but I was interested in the potential responses.
Would you start a relationship with someone if penetrative sex was not an option? Or rarely an option?
Let's say, for arguments sake, that you like this person, you're attracted to them, you get on well with them. Let's also assume that there are no issues with other forms of intimacy - kissing, cuddling, touching, oral are all options. Just no vaginal and no anal.
Would it make a difference if they were happy to have an open relation so that you could have sex with others?"
Not for me at the start of something new. after a relationship has been established if it came to that I’d want a discussion of needs being met, be that either one of us having the issue |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No problem at all with there being no anal… oral sex but no vaginal sex? Hmmm, not sure on that one, not in a long-term, monogamous relationship - unless there was a medical reason, something that physically prevented it (e.g. a disability) that would be different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I could see that as a possibility if they ticked all the boxes except penetration, especially if they’re ok with me getting that elsewhere. Even better if they want to join in the fun in some capacity.
OP, there must be plenty of men out there that have issues with penetration and would therefore be glad not to feel under pressure to perform. Especially if you are both willing to explore other areas of excitement together.
I honestly can feel your pain because I suffered from extremely painful periods for many years. Thank goodness for menopause. I will accept the hot flushes as a lesser evil.
Good luck with your quest OP x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No problem at all with there being no anal… oral sex but no vaginal sex? Hmmm, not sure on that one, not in a long-term, monogamous relationship - unless there was a medical reason, something that physically prevented it (e.g. a disability) that would be different. "
In my case... don't know if it would be termed a disability as such, but a chronic medical condition. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi OP
That sounds dreadful and not something I have had any experience with.
I know it can't be easy but don't lose hope x
Sending big hugs to you and wishing you the best with your condition and in finding an understanding partner xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yep. In fact it's the only kind of relationship I'd enter into in the future.
I would be less worried about them cheating.
There wouldn't be a reason to lie to me to get in my knickers and empty their balls. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Yep. In fact it's the only kind of relationship I'd enter into in the future.
I would be less worried about them cheating.
There wouldn't be a reason to lie to me to get in my knickers and empty their balls. "
No peas under your mattress. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Absolutely. Happy to have deep intimacy without penetration if that were the only aspect of it lacking. There is far more to happiness and intimacy than vaginal and anal penetration.
It’s why swinging exists. It’s possible to have penetrative sex without deep intimacy but impossible to have deep intimacy without having so much more than penetrative sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your profile name and your behaviour doesn’t match.
Thought about something more congruent.
Might help people understand."
Profile name is old. I created it during the period following my operation when I did get a couple of years of relief before the pain came back. Unfortunately a year of that was lost to covid, which figures really.
Since I am only here for the forum, I have never bothered getting around to changing it. Might at some point, if I decide to stick around. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi OP
That sounds dreadful and not something I have had any experience with.
I know it can't be easy but don't lose hope x
Sending big hugs to you and wishing you the best with your condition and in finding an understanding partner xx
"
Thank you, I appreciate that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Absolutely. Happy to have deep intimacy without penetration if that were the only aspect of it lacking. There is far more to happiness and intimacy than vaginal and anal penetration.
It’s why swinging exists. It’s possible to have penetrative sex without deep intimacy but impossible to have deep intimacy without having so much more than penetrative sex."
I had never thought of it that way, but it makes perfect sense. Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't have penetrative sex with my hubby and we are deeply in love with each other. he loves and encourages me to have sex with other men and women so it all works for us  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
