FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is ‘the friend zone’ a real thing?
Is ‘the friend zone’ a real thing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I believe it is. I have guys who I absolutely would never do anything sexual or romantic with. I have my friend Ben whom I’ve known since I was 16 who does fancy me he’s said many times but he’s firmly in the zone and would never get out of it. I can fart in front of him, eat a full rack of ribs with all bbq sauce all over my face, I’ll shit in his house and I would never do that ever with a guy I was attracted to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When I said shit in his house I do mean I’ll actually use his toilet and not just curl one out randomly in his house, just so we’re clear.
So friendzone, discuss… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general?? "
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have lots of friends on here.
Started with which ever person messaging first, realised not sexual connection or attraction and then we became friends.
Obviously got to be like-minded people , or otherwise it's delete and block.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other. "
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dunno. I think attraction can grow over time too. "
But is that you holding out for something that may never come?
Or even not respecting somebodies 'no'?
(Not you specifically, just a general conversational statement) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)"
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this? |
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"Dunno. I think attraction can grow over time too.
But is that you holding out for something that may never come?
Or even not respecting somebodies 'no'?
(Not you specifically, just a general conversational statement)"
I mean in the situation with women I've met at work or previous to that at school, you get to know them, get on, are friends but there was no initial I want to jump your bones attraction but then suddenly you start to think differently about them and want to hide the sausage. |
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Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dunno. I think attraction can grow over time too.
But is that you holding out for something that may never come?
Or even not respecting somebodies 'no'?
(Not you specifically, just a general conversational statement)
I mean in the situation with women I've met at work or previous to that at school, you get to know them, get on, are friends but there was no initial I want to jump your bones attraction but then suddenly you start to think differently about them and want to hide the sausage. "
Haha yeah, definitely. I've done that before, for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM"
This is how I feel about it!
It was made by "nice guys" who think because they're nice to somebody then they're owed something in return! |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I had a good friend in Uni who everyone thought we had a "thing" though it was never the case. She was hot too! We got on so well we never considered something more as to not potentially spoil it. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't know if the friend zone exists. I'm not sure if that's because I have the privilege of not being placed in a friend zone or because I feel it's a concept that devalues friendship, suggests kindness etc should be rewarded by fucking.
I do know I'm not the biggest fan of the concept or term though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I said shit in his house I do mean I’ll actually use his toilet and not just curl one out randomly in his house, just so we’re clear.
So friendzone, discuss…"
very glad you cleared that up! He’d be some friend if he just let you shit in the corner of his living room like some kind of feral cat |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Friends Zone does exist - it just needs both people to be on the same page = good communication and above all honesty!
Sometimes these are "ex partners" who just don't share the chemistry anymore for whatever reason. It does work (for some)!
Sometimes, and over time friends can become more, too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep. Was seeing one for for few months but knew it wouldn't work for me but she is the nicest, happiest person ever so cut the sex (though we have slipped couple of times). She has made it clear she wants a full on relationship even now but would rather remain friends than nothing. Also the one person I have met off Fab is now one of my best friends. She lives too far away for anything to happen really but we just click and talk for hours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course it’s a thing, because people are capable of being friends… sounds like I’m generalising here but men are much more likely to break that if the friend offered more in certain circumstances, not because they are predators or creeps or even secretly trying for more, I just think it’s innate in men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont seem to be able to keep a wide circle of friends so if I am friends with a guy I do usually want to have sex with him. I am cynical enough to think that a guy that is friends for years really does also want relationship/sex with his friend who is a girl but can either play the very very long game or is just good at keeping it too himself. 
I dont have that many friends though so is hard to judge  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think “friend zone” is a very American concept. Being friends regardless of attraction or romantic feelings or lack thereof is down to the quality of the humans you choose to spend time with |
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It's a thing that people have unrequited feelings for their friends sometimes.
I don't think 'being friendzoned' is a very helpful way of looking at it, though.
It usually makes it sound like a wrong is being done, when in reality we can't choose to have romantic or sexual feelings for someone when they're not there.
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"I believe it is. I have guys who I absolutely would never do anything sexual or romantic with. I have my friend Ben whom I’ve known since I was 16 who does fancy me he’s said many times but he’s firmly in the zone and would never get out of it. I can fart in front of him, eat a full rack of ribs with all bbq sauce all over my face, I’ll shit in his house and I would never do that ever with a guy I was attracted to. "
I have that with a male friend but because we do a lot together and go on holiday everyone keeps asking when we're going to get together. It drives us both mad |
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Of course it exists but it’s just called being a friend with a member of the opposite sex.
I have a girl friend who I’ve known since we were teenagers. I don’t fancy her at all, she’s very boyish looking and acting and I’m generally attracted to more girly girls. We have also talked about our relationship as just friends in the past and we both agree we’d make a terrible marriage.
She’s been great especially helping me with my crossdressing and break up with my marriage.
No, I rather keep out friendship purely platonic as I do with the women on here who I’ve befriended over the years. I certainly don’t mind being friend zoned at all   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a thing that people have unrequited feelings for their friends sometimes.
I don't think 'being friendzoned' is a very helpful way of looking at it, though.
It usually makes it sound like a wrong is being done, when in reality we can't choose to have romantic or sexual feelings for someone when they're not there.
"
Absolutely!! I agree with this |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM"
Yyyyyup! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Yet on your other thread you're effectively asking if it's possible to have friends without sex being a hidden agenda?
I think 'friendzone' applies more to where an attraction/sex is potentially on the agenda, either by one or both people involved but gets removed from it at some point (by one or both) and a friendship forms without any other complications of attraction/sex.
Has happened to me in the past - and have had some great friendships result from it - some of which have lasted 20 years or more, sometimes it's been one sided, sometimes it's drifted to friendship naturally.
I've also formed friendships with ladies where attraction/sex have never ever entered into it and it's just been purely platonic - but I wouldn't put those in the "friendzone" category |
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"When I said shit in his house I do mean I’ll actually use his toilet and not just curl one out randomly in his house, just so we’re clear.
So friendzone, discuss…"
I did wonder
Yes there’s a zone. The ones you don’t want you put in it. The ones you want, you’re in theirs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course it exists but it’s just called being a friend with a member of the opposite sex.
I have a girl friend who I’ve known since we were teenagers. I don’t fancy her at all, she’s very boyish looking and acting and I’m generally attracted to more girly girls. We have also talked about our relationship as just friends in the past and we both agree we’d make a terrible marriage.
She’s been great especially helping me with my crossdressing and break up with my marriage.
No, I rather keep out friendship purely platonic as I do with the women on here who I’ve befriended over the years. I certainly don’t mind being friend zoned at all "
This isn't a friend zone situation though, you're just friends.
A friend zone situation would be where you've met with the intention of hooking up or something and someone changed their mind. |
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Absolutely, I have a friend like this, we met whilst working together. Lost count how many times we both got asked "you must be more than friends?" Also confuses people as I'm almost 20 years older than her.
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I said shit in his house I do mean I’ll actually use his toilet and not just curl one out randomly in his house, just so we’re clear.
So friendzone, discuss…"
Is curling one out randomly a common thing in South Wales, that this would need clarification? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely, I have a friend like this, we met whilst working together. Lost count how many times we both got asked "you must be more than friends?" Also confuses people as I'm almost 20 years older than her.
XX"
Thats just friendship though, neither of you have put the other in the friend zone so to speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I said shit in his house I do mean I’ll actually use his toilet and not just curl one out randomly in his house, just so we’re clear.
So friendzone, discuss…
Is curling one out randomly a common thing in South Wales, that this would need clarification? "
I've heard it is in the valleys  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yet on your other thread you're effectively asking if it's possible to have friends without sex being a hidden agenda?
I think 'friendzone' applies more to where an attraction/sex is potentially on the agenda, either by one or both people involved but gets removed from it at some point (by one or both) and a friendship forms without any other complications of attraction/sex.
Has happened to me in the past - and have had some great friendships result from it - some of which have lasted 20 years or more, sometimes it's been one sided, sometimes it's drifted to friendship naturally.
I've also formed friendships with ladies where attraction/sex have never ever entered into it and it's just been purely platonic - but I wouldn't put those in the "friendzone" category "
But that guy I wouldn’t put him in the friend zone, I couldn’t eat in front of him for a start and I can imagine kissing him. Whether he’s put me in the zone and only sees me as a friend is unknown yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?"
I’m going to hazard a guess that men will have less willpower to maintain the zone |
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?
I’m going to hazard a guess that men will have less willpower to maintain the zone "
do men have willpower???
Who knew, |
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"I believe it is. I have guys who I absolutely would never do anything sexual or romantic with. I have my friend Ben whom I’ve known since I was 16 who does fancy me he’s said many times but he’s firmly in the zone and would never get out of it. I can fart in front of him, eat a full rack of ribs with all bbq sauce all over my face, I’ll shit in his house and I would never do that ever with a guy I was attracted to. "
I’m confused about you asking if friendzones exist if you admit that Ben is in one
But yes, they exist. Women on here complain that there’s no nice genuine men around here but when they meet them, they friendzone them haha
I’ve been friendzoned many times and I’ve friendzoned a couple. |
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Perhaps it's the best way to find a soulmate?
Put everyone in the friend zone strike up a meaningful and honest friendship and maybe just maybe that one person who is your bestist friend who you get on with so well that you almost know what each other are thinking maybe they are the one that your supposed to be with.
If you are looking for a long term relationship with someone starting it purely based on sex it's probably doomed from the start.
Yeah you might have great sex but the rest of the time the relationship is shit.
Someone who is both a friend and a lover is far more valuable than just a good looking fuck buddy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps it's the best way to find a soulmate?
Put everyone in the friend zone strike up a meaningful and honest friendship and maybe just maybe that one person who is your bestist friend who you get on with so well that you almost know what each other are thinking maybe they are the one that your supposed to be with.
If you are looking for a long term relationship with someone starting it purely based on sex it's probably doomed from the start.
Yeah you might have great sex but the rest of the time the relationship is shit.
Someone who is both a friend and a lover is far more valuable than just a good looking fuck buddy."
Love this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps it's the best way to find a soulmate?
Put everyone in the friend zone strike up a meaningful and honest friendship and maybe just maybe that one person who is your bestist friend who you get on with so well that you almost know what each other are thinking maybe they are the one that your supposed to be with.
If you are looking for a long term relationship with someone starting it purely based on sex it's probably doomed from the start.
Yeah you might have great sex but the rest of the time the relationship is shit.
Someone who is both a friend and a lover is far more valuable than just a good looking fuck buddy."
This really. What is a relationship if its not being best friends with someone. |
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"Of course it exists but it’s just called being a friend with a member of the opposite sex.
I have a girl friend who I’ve known since we were teenagers. I don’t fancy her at all, she’s very boyish looking and acting and I’m generally attracted to more girly girls. We have also talked about our relationship as just friends in the past and we both agree we’d make a terrible marriage.
She’s been great especially helping me with my crossdressing and break up with my marriage.
No, I rather keep out friendship purely platonic as I do with the women on here who I’ve befriended over the years. I certainly don’t mind being friend zoned at all
This isn't a friend zone situation though, you're just friends.
A friend zone situation would be where you've met with the intention of hooking up or something and someone changed their mind. "
 gotcha in that circumstance I think yes a friend zone can be created by one and not the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?"
I don’t friend zone a women because I don’t tend to spend the kind of time with women I would my mates.. To meet a women now in my 30s I just wouldn’t be making new mates and feel the need to become good friends, bit banter and friendly yes, but like one of my proper mates… nope. |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?"
I have a couple of friends of the opposite sex on here, that I know have no interest in me sexualy, I accept that, but am happy to have them as friends, so yes it is possible, just as it is in the real world, I have a few female friends, whom I don't want to fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course it exists but it’s just called being a friend with a member of the opposite sex.
I have a girl friend who I’ve known since we were teenagers. I don’t fancy her at all, she’s very boyish looking and acting and I’m generally attracted to more girly girls. We have also talked about our relationship as just friends in the past and we both agree we’d make a terrible marriage.
She’s been great especially helping me with my crossdressing and break up with my marriage.
No, I rather keep out friendship purely platonic as I do with the women on here who I’ve befriended over the years. I certainly don’t mind being friend zoned at all
This isn't a friend zone situation though, you're just friends.
A friend zone situation would be where you've met with the intention of hooking up or something and someone changed their mind.
gotcha in that circumstance I think yes a friend zone can be created by one and not the other. "
Yeah haha maybe. I don't really like the term personally but it does happen... its upto the person who has been "friend zoned" whether they want to just be friends with somebody... if not then says a lot about them really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends Zone does exist - it just needs both people to be on the same page = good communication and above all honesty!
Sometimes these are "ex partners" who just don't share the chemistry anymore for whatever reason. It does work (for some)!
Sometimes, and over time friends can become more, too."
This could work,yes  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM
This is how I feel about it!
It was made by "nice guys" who think because they're nice to somebody then they're owed something in return! "
I don’t think that’s being friend zoned though. It’s the uninterested party that puts the other into the friendzone. Being in the friend zone means all you will ever be to them is a friend and they’ll never escape it. Not that being friends with someone is a bad thing just if the other person wants something sexual or romantic with you they can’t cos you don’t view them as anything other than a friend, no attraction etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM
This is how I feel about it!
It was made by "nice guys" who think because they're nice to somebody then they're owed something in return!
I don’t think that’s being friend zoned though. It’s the uninterested party that puts the other into the friendzone. Being in the friend zone means all you will ever be to them is a friend and they’ll never escape it. Not that being friends with someone is a bad thing just if the other person wants something sexual or romantic with you they can’t cos you don’t view them as anything other than a friend, no attraction etc. "
Yeah but a woman wouldn't have come up with that term would they? They'd just put it as "we're friends".
Where as the friend zone term has come about from men who begrudge the idea that their kindness hasn't resulted in sex or anything else... "she put me in the friendzone" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM
This is how I feel about it!
It was made by "nice guys" who think because they're nice to somebody then they're owed something in return!
I don’t think that’s being friend zoned though. It’s the uninterested party that puts the other into the friendzone. Being in the friend zone means all you will ever be to them is a friend and they’ll never escape it. Not that being friends with someone is a bad thing just if the other person wants something sexual or romantic with you they can’t cos you don’t view them as anything other than a friend, no attraction etc.
Yeah but a woman wouldn't have come up with that term would they? They'd just put it as "we're friends".
Where as the friend zone term has come about from men who begrudge the idea that their kindness hasn't resulted in sex or anything else... "she put me in the friendzone" "
Love how it turns to men trying to exploit 
Equally if you know they want more, don’t hold on to them as friends because the friendship is dysfunctional |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM
This is how I feel about it!
It was made by "nice guys" who think because they're nice to somebody then they're owed something in return!
I don’t think that’s being friend zoned though. It’s the uninterested party that puts the other into the friendzone. Being in the friend zone means all you will ever be to them is a friend and they’ll never escape it. Not that being friends with someone is a bad thing just if the other person wants something sexual or romantic with you they can’t cos you don’t view them as anything other than a friend, no attraction etc.
Yeah but a woman wouldn't have come up with that term would they? They'd just put it as "we're friends".
Where as the friend zone term has come about from men who begrudge the idea that their kindness hasn't resulted in sex or anything else... "she put me in the friendzone"
Love how it turns to men trying to exploit
Equally if you know they want more, don’t hold on to them as friends because the friendship is dysfunctional "
I'm only speaking from my personal experience which is with men lol
And I agree, don't hold onto them as friends for that reason! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM"
I agree. Someone complaining about being in the friendzone makes me feel pretty uncomfortable after a a "friend" chewed my head off for going out with another bloke instead of him after he'd put a lot of time and effort into being kind to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM
I agree. Someone complaining about being in the friendzone makes me feel pretty uncomfortable after a a "friend" chewed my head off for going out with another bloke instead of him after he'd put a lot of time and effort into being kind to me."
Yes! Which kind of shits on his kindness because it feels like it was disingenuous! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely the friend zone is just a phrase invented by people who can't come to terms with the fact that their feelings aren't reciprocated? Just because person A fancies person B, doesn't mean the B automatically owes A anything.
LvM
I agree. Someone complaining about being in the friendzone makes me feel pretty uncomfortable after a a "friend" chewed my head off for going out with another bloke instead of him after he'd put a lot of time and effort into being kind to me.
Yes! Which kind of shits on his kindness because it feels like it was disingenuous!"
Absolutely. It all felt a bit grubby, to be honest. This was 20 years ago, so we were both young adults with not much relationship experience. I hope he has altered his attitude since. |
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By *ocothumpaMan
over a year ago
quite close to you |
"When I said shit in his house I do mean I’ll actually use his toilet and not just curl one out randomly in his house, just so we’re clear.
So friendzone, discuss…"
That would be DEEEEEP in the friend zone :- |
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I was put in the freind zone as a young teen and then put others in the freind zone when I was a little bit older as well. Wasnt pleasant.
It does not work. I wouldnt and couldnt be freinds with someone any was into and I soon realised it wasnt right to do it to others either.
Met my now better half in my early 20w and that solved that problem. |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
"When I said shit in his house I do mean I’ll actually use his toilet and not just curl one out randomly in his house, just so we’re clear.
So friendzone, discuss…"
I do think the "friend zone" exists and I don't think it should be used in the negative way it often gets stuck with.
There's a few women I'm friends with (platonic) both here and IRL who I know if anything went further would spoil the dynamic. I'd much rather have a good friend than a regretted shag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe it is. I have guys who I absolutely would never do anything sexual or romantic with. I have my friend Ben whom I’ve known since I was 16 who does fancy me he’s said many times but he’s firmly in the zone and would never get out of it. I can fart in front of him, eat a full rack of ribs with all bbq sauce all over my face, I’ll shit in his house and I would never do that ever with a guy I was attracted to. "
Yes, they become like family almost. So wouldn’t dare to do anything sexual with them (even if say, they might be good looking and can appreciate that but no sexual spark as dynamics are that of really good friends) |
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have had female friends in the friend zone and been in a lot of their's. Got described being like a 'big brother' a few times. Friend zone is a thing, but people get too worked up on it, as in my experience it isn't always fixed, with long term friends developing feelings and also friends with benefits staying around but as true friends. The big key is not being jealous of the others sexual partners in my opinion. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I’m not sure if it’s something, but I do find the concept quite creepy; a guy who can’t take no for an answer so hangs around in the hope that it changes to a yes. That’s not a friend, that’s a stalker with benefits.
It seems to paint guys (mainly) as a victim of women’s right to choose and seems to ignore consent or attraction as a valid reason for sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?"
It does indeed exist, I have a best friend who's female. she was the girlfriend of another of my best friends 24 years ago. We got on really well and when they broke up we remained close friends. My mate wasn't happy about it for a little bit after the break up but saw it for what it was and is fine now. There isn't anything I wouldn't tell her and trust her implicitly, I'd go as far to say she's like a sister. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?
It does indeed exist, I have a best friend who's female. she was the girlfriend of another of my best friends 24 years ago. We got on really well and when they broke up we remained close friends. My mate wasn't happy about it for a little bit after the break up but saw it for what it was and is fine now. There isn't anything I wouldn't tell her and trust her implicitly, I'd go as far to say she's like a sister. "
That's not friend zone stuff though... lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure if it’s something, but I do find the concept quite creepy; a guy who can’t take no for an answer so hangs around in the hope that it changes to a yes. That’s not a friend, that’s a stalker with benefits.
It seems to paint guys (mainly) as a victim of women’s right to choose and seems to ignore consent or attraction as a valid reason for sex"
Well described, yes! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I’m not sure if it’s something, but I do find the concept quite creepy; a guy who can’t take no for an answer so hangs around in the hope that it changes to a yes. That’s not a friend, that’s a stalker with benefits.
It seems to paint guys (mainly) as a victim of women’s right to choose and seems to ignore consent or attraction as a valid reason for sex"
That's if you choose to take the negative connotations of the term rather than the positive though - sometimes it can simply be about two people who find that although they get along as friends that there's no spark of sexual attraction there, or that the friendship overrides the sexual aspects and is more important than risking losing it if a sexual relationship is had.
Happened to me in my early days here - someone who I got on with really well, and we'd talked about meeting for a social with a view to more - for one reason or another neither of us could meet at that point in time, then we both came to realise that we'd mutually and subconsciously friendzoned each other and remained friends since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I've ever just been friends with a girl without there being some attraction and there's always that chance that something could happen (especially if alcohol is involved).
About the only girl I can think of where nothing ever happened was someone who I used to meet up with once a year for a weekend out.
She admitted once that if something would have happened between us then it should have happened when we first met.
But it wasn't a conscious desicion on our part it was just never the right time/place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I’ll shit in his house and I would never do that ever with a guy I was attracted to. "
I don’t know anything about ‘Friendzones’ but this sentence alone should enter Fab folklore (and I know AW has clarified said shit would be in the appropriate facilities). |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’m not sure if it’s something, but I do find the concept quite creepy; a guy who can’t take no for an answer so hangs around in the hope that it changes to a yes. That’s not a friend, that’s a stalker with benefits.
It seems to paint guys (mainly) as a victim of women’s right to choose and seems to ignore consent or attraction as a valid reason for sex
That's if you choose to take the negative connotations of the term rather than the positive though - sometimes it can simply be about two people who find that although they get along as friends that there's no spark of sexual attraction there, or that the friendship overrides the sexual aspects and is more important than risking losing it if a sexual relationship is had.
Happened to me in my early days here - someone who I got on with really well, and we'd talked about meeting for a social with a view to more - for one reason or another neither of us could meet at that point in time, then we both came to realise that we'd mutually and subconsciously friendzoned each other and remained friends since."
If there’s no spark or sexual attraction, then that’s just friendship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?"
It does happen, but it's rare. I think it's much more common for a girl to find out a guy friend fancies them than viceversa, so it's less common for guys to have to friend zone. Women are just better at hiding their boner |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve never been attracted to a guy and had him tell me actually I only see you as a friend. It’s always been me fancying someone, letting them know, then shagging them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never been attracted to a guy and had him tell me actually I only see you as a friend. It’s always been me fancying someone, letting them know, then shagging them. "
Well, I wish I had more friends like you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Haha but surely that's just being mates in general??
On my side he’s a friend but on his side he’s made it very clear that he fancies me, he’s said it for years and always makes suggestions that we should get together. He’s in the zone.
To be just friends none of you would have any desire to be anything other than friends to each other.
Hmm, yeah. I think I can agree with that.
Do we think it exists the other way? Because I've certainly had guy friends who've not wanted anything more but would still fuck me... not that I'm complaining haha I still get what I want :') (mostly haha)
I don’t actually know if guys friend zone women, any guys want to answer this?"
Yep, it happens.
Done it myself too |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I’m not sure if it’s something, but I do find the concept quite creepy; a guy who can’t take no for an answer so hangs around in the hope that it changes to a yes. That’s not a friend, that’s a stalker with benefits.
It seems to paint guys (mainly) as a victim of women’s right to choose and seems to ignore consent or attraction as a valid reason for sex
That's if you choose to take the negative connotations of the term rather than the positive though - sometimes it can simply be about two people who find that although they get along as friends that there's no spark of sexual attraction there, or that the friendship overrides the sexual aspects and is more important than risking losing it if a sexual relationship is had.
Happened to me in my early days here - someone who I got on with really well, and we'd talked about meeting for a social with a view to more - for one reason or another neither of us could meet at that point in time, then we both came to realise that we'd mutually and subconsciously friendzoned each other and remained friends since.
If there’s no spark or sexual attraction, then that’s just friendship? "
I obviously meant if it started off that way but on meeting or further getting to know each other it wasn't there.
Either way the point was it doesn't have to be seen as a negative thing |
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